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Mending Fences is a podcast about dispute resolution and effective ways to communicate and live across differences. Hosts Patrice Brymner and Jennifer Hawthorne are both family mediators and collaborative law attorneys, but their conversations go well beyond family law. They explore the personal, interpersonal, legal, and cultural impact of conflict. Intro/outro: "North Oakland Extasy," by Squadda B
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Discover the transformative power of words with our guest Karen Van Kooy in an episode that may reshape your approach to conflict resolution and legal negotiations. We engage in a dynamic dialogue, breaking down how subtle shifts in terminology can steer conversations from deadlock to collaboration. As we dissect the impact of word choice, from "proposal" to "settlement scenarios," you'll gain invaluable insights into fostering dialogue that digs into the heart of parties' needs and interests...
Join us as we journey through the delicate web of step-parenting with our guest, step-parenting coach Maria Natapov. What does it truly mean to be a step-parent and how can you navigate this dynamic, emotion-filled terrain? Maria sheds light on these questions and provides pragmatic guidance to help you transform family uncertainty into harmonious co-parenting. We'll unpack the layers of challenges from financial to emotional, and discuss how Maria’s expert advice can help ease your tra...
Is your dispute resolution stuck? Is your divorce mediation stalled? Your collaborative divorce just not moving? As your hosts for this episode of Mending Fences, Patrice Brymner and Jen Hawthorne, we’ll guide you on how to breathe new life into stalled conflict resolution processes. We’ll share practical advice, from introducing a lawyer to mediation to using a mediator as a shuttle between parties, so you're not doomed to starting over from scratch. Amidst conflict, it's easy to...
Can collaborative divorce or divorce mediation address pressure, coercion, and power imbalances more effectively than litigation? Join us for a deep dive into these questions with collaborative divorce attorney and mediator, Karen Van Kooy. We share our experiences and insights, contrasting the stark differences in handling a court-based divorce versus a collaborative law or mediated approach. In this lively discussion, we unravel the complexities of coercion and imbalance that c...
Jen and Patrice each share three things to avoid in any difficult conversation. At Mending Fences, we always encourage people to keep talking, but when should you stop talking? Of course it makes sense to avoid blaming and defending, but how do you do it? Patrice and Jen talk through practical tips for productive communication in difficult situations.
Should I Stay or Should I Go? Allyson Clemmons joins Jen and Patrice to discuss discernment counselling, a way for couples considering divorce to gain clarity about the direction of their marriage. In this approach, couples engage in a limited number of individual sessions to gain a deeper understanding of what has happened in the relationship, as well as each spouse's contribution to that. Couples can decide to maintain the relationship as it has been; they may re-commit to the m...
Jen and Patrice talk about how conflict resolution skills can improve communication in daily life.
Dr. Gina Arons joins Patrice and Jen to talk about the vital role of the Collaborative Coach in the Collaborative Divorce process.
Jen and Patrice highlight five factors that may impact whether mediation is a good fit for participants.
Jen and Patrice each share their top three tips for better communication. Highlighting several effective approaches for any difficult conversation, Jen and Patrice talk through what works and why.
Jen and Patrice talk with their colleague, Beth Aarons, about her work as a trainer and adjunct law professor teaching Collaborative Law. Seasoned professionals, as well law students, undergo a profound shift in mindset in order to effectively participate as members of a Collaborative Law professional team. Collaborative Law professionals provide holistic, non-adversarial, interest-based dispute resolution approaches.
Jen and Patrice talk with Attorney/Mediator Barbara Nason about a range of out of court divorce options, including mediation, attorney-assisted negotiation, and conciliation. This conversation covers the benefits of dispute resolution and some of the pitfalls of litigation, including the time, money, and opportunities wasted when attorneys engage in fighting rather than problem solving. After litigating for 20 years, Barbara has spent the last 10 years offering only out of court o...
FIRST IN A SERIES Jen and Patrice share the advice they give people who are considering mediation for a divorce process: what to look for, what to avoid, how to approach the early stages of a choosing a divorce process.
Jen and Patrice talk about shifting parental duties post-divorce. What happens when both parents become the "default" or "primary" parent? Co-parents can't plan for every parenting contingency, but good communication channels can make a huge difference in how the unexpected (and the expected) play out. Mediation and collaborative process provide effective means for parents who are shifting into co-parenting roles. Parents can explore options in communication and duty sharing before comm...
The busy holiday season, schedule changes, illness or any unexpected event can create real strain for co-parents. Jen and Patrice discuss the importance of solid communication, patience, and flexibility when facing any co-parenting challenge. This episode highlights 1) how building a foundation in mediation or collaborative process can really pay off when things don't go as planned, and 2) the benefit of of mediation and collaborative process for blended families after divorce.&nb...
Susan DeMatteo shares her journey from family law trial attorney to collaborative lawyer and mediator. Susan was trained in Collaborative Law early in the movement, and she brings a great depth of experience to this discussion of process choice, creative problem solving, and improved outcomes. Susan, Jen, and Patrice reflect on the benefits of dispute resolution for their clients and their own job satisfaction.
How do you experience conflict in your body? What role does physical proximity play in dispute resolution? Jen and Patrice talk with choreographer and conflict specialist Dana Caspersen about physical dynamics and engaging with conflict. Dana is the author of Changing the Conversation: The 17 Principles of Conflict Resolution. Dana works with individuals and groups to help build robust skills and a flexible mindset in conflict through coaching, mediation, facilitations, talks, wo...
It's that time of year in New England! No, not apple picking. It's Conflict Resolution Week! To celebrate, Jen and Patrice sat down with Lisa Wood of Mediation Services of North Central Massachusetts to talk about community mediation, training kids as peer mediators, and using mediation for a variety of disputes and difficult conversations. Mediation is NOT just for divorce. This community mediation center offers services relating to neighbor disputes, business disputes, and other...
Should a mediator or lawyer meet clients at least once in person before continuing by video conference? And what’s an "internal mediator?" Do you have one? David Hoffman joins Jen and Patrice for a lively, wide-ranging conversation, contemplating these and other questions. David identifies three powerful and continuing benefits virtual dispute resolution practice, and Jen and Patrice share their experiences. David then turns the talk to Internal Family Systems. Hint: it’s no...
Sheila Kelly, LMC, joins Jen and Patrice for a powerful and free flowing conversation about dignity, kids, identity, compassion, and communication. Jen and Patrice hope this is one of several talks focused on dignity and the first of several talks with Sheila.
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