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Modern Love

Author: The New York Times

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For 16 years, the Modern Love column has given New York Times readers a glimpse into the complicated love lives of real people.
Since its start, the column has evolved into a TV show, three books and a podcast. Now, we are excited to announce a relaunch of the podcast at The Times, hosted by Daniel Jones, the editor and creator of Modern Love, and Miya Lee, editor of Tiny Love Stories and Modern Love projects.
Each week, we’ll bring you their favorite stories from the column’s vast archive, conversations with the authors, and a few surprises. New episodes every Wednesday.
264 Episodes
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After heartbreak landed Amisha Patel on her parents' couch, she began to question whether her love life was predetermined.
Last spring, Michael McAllister’s inbox started filling up with messages from heartbroken women. “I thought you were the man,” one wrote. “Embarrassing, but I kinda became obsessed with ‘you,’” another said. Michael discovered that his photos were being used to catfish women on dating apps — from Germany to Brazil to Chicago. Today’s story explores a global dating scam (that’s still going on, by the way) and the pandemic-fueled loneliness of digital life. Also, we hear from two women who were duped by Michael’s impostor. One of them shares a trick for determining whether or not a dating prospect is real. Click here for more info on the episode. Featured Story:“How I Got Caught Up in a Global Romance Scam" by Michael McAllister 
Kadine Christie’s birth story is one that has been told to her time and again. She was born in the mountain town of Spalding, Jamaica, in the presence of two women: her mother, Lorna, and a stranger, Lurline, who was going into labor in the same open ward. This is a story that feels like fiction, but is far from it. It has high stakes, unexpected connections and a surprising ending. Something astonishing — even magical — was born in that maternity ward 40 years ago. Tune in to learn why Kadine’s birth story is also her love story.You can find more info on today's episode here. Featured Stories: “I Met My Husband on the Maternity Ward,” by Kadine Christie“An Unexpected Sign” by Sarah Reynolds Westin
She Left Me There

She Left Me There

2021-05-1925:199

Kacey Vu Shap had no desire to return to the Vietnamese orphanage of his youth. As a child, whenever he told people he was adopted, he would say that he came “premade” — that he spontaneously appeared one day at the Baltimore airport, greeted by a new family bearing flowers and kisses. “It was easier to sanitize my story by speaking only of my life as Kacey, who was loved and wanted, than to tell people of my life as Vu, who was abandoned and undesired,” Kacey wrote in his Modern Love essay. Nearly 25 years later, Kacey found himself back at the orphanage with his three best friends and a newfound understanding of what form love can take.You can find more info on today's episode here. 
Welcome to our season premiere. Seven years into a serious relationship, Jake Maynard got a text from his mother: “Gramma Gert: 3, Jake: 0.” This was her way of telling him that his grandmother, in her 80s, was getting married for the third time, while Jake remained unmarried and childless in his late 20s. His family found this strange. Stranger still, at least in Jake’s view, was his grandmother’s choice of partner. (You’ll have to listen to the episode.) Today, we explore how two generations of the same family — 50 years apart — grapple with identity, tangled kin and the loaded question of marriage.You can find more info on today's episode here. 
The Modern Love podcast will be back for a new season on May 12, with new episodes on Wednesdays. We hope you’ll join us!You can find more info about the new season here. 
What the Silence Said

What the Silence Said

2020-12-2321:2133

When Laura and her husband divorced after two decades of marriage, their “little Colorado mountain town” could barely tell. It was quiet compared to the dramatic natural disasters that were afflicting the area — like flooding and wildfires. There were no raised voices, no feelings of fury.So why did they split? In the lead-up to their divorce, Laura had a revelation about what good love — the kind that will “survive life” — is supposed to sound like.Featured stories:“No Sound, No Fury, No Marriage," by Laura Pritchett“Silence Is Its Own Answer," by Jennifer ByrneLaura's story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.
This holiday season, it’s OK to want more. Paula grew up in foster care, and year after year she would find herself “clobbered by desire” when the holidays rolled around. She longed for a mother and father to rescue her and “make everything better”; she wished for the hip-huggers and games she saw on TV.When she was 21, she met a man named Jeff who ruptured this annual cycle of desire. He became the inspiration for a hard-earned Christmas lesson.Featured stories:“The Holiday of My Dreams Was Just That,” by Paula McLain“A Sweet Reminder,” by Meg ChristmanPaula's story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.You can find more information on today's episode here.
This episode contains descriptions of domestic violence.In 2013, Courtney Queeney published an essay about surviving domestic violence and the legal proceedings that followed. She described going to a courthouse every two weeks to renew her emergency protection order against her ex. It was during this period that she found “scattered bright spots” — things to laugh about when everything seemed unfunny. She found comfort in the woman who shared her court schedule; her lawyer, whom she revered; and the judge who made her crack up.Today, we hear about how Courtney has worked through the experience and aftermath of her abuse — and where is she now.Featured stories:“The View From the Victim Room,” by Courtney Queeney“Held by String,” by Eliza RudalevigeCourtney's story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.You can find more information on today's episode here.New York Times subscribers are invited to join the hosts of Modern Love on Dec. 15 for an evening celebrating the new “Tiny Love Stories” book. RSVP here.
A Lifetime of Good Loving

A Lifetime of Good Loving

2020-12-0226:2812

When Bette met her husband, he was leaning against a wall at a party. He had, as she put it, “smoldering looks and banked fires.” He was from Brooklyn; she was from the Bronx. She assumed his silent “bad boy” vibe meant “dangerous love and dramatic heartbreak.”They got married, and she realized that she’d misread his quiet demeanor: “His eyes were simply beautiful, and his silence wasn’t fierce; he just didn’t have anything to say at the moment.”After 56 years together, Bette’s husband passed away on the eve of the pandemic. Bette, now alone, shares what had kept them together all these years, and what their long love means to her now.Featured stories:“Widow Walks Into Wall, Finds Hope,” Bette Ann Moskowitz“Seeing Her in Me,” Alicia GabeBette's story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.You can find more information on today's episode here.
Andrew and Sarah met on a dating app. Their first date was just supposed to be coffee, but it lasted nine glorious hours. They talked nonstop across four San Francisco neighborhoods. But by 2 a.m., Sarah had an admission to make. She told Andrew, who is Asian-American, that his “race might be an issue.” Andrew was shocked. The kicker? Sarah is also Asian-American. Today, we hear both sides of this story — and find out where Sarah and Andrew are now.Featured stories: “When a Dating Dare Leads to Months of Soul Searching,” Andrew Lee“Manic Pixie Real Girl,” Jerico MandyburAndrew’s story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.
No More Secrets

No More Secrets

2020-11-1125:094

Sarah and Liz met on a blind date in New York City. Sarah ordered a club soda with a splash of cranberry juice. Liz ordered wine — twice.A few weeks into dating, while taking a walk together through Chelsea Market, a feeling crystallized for Liz: “I knew in the way seasons change that I would love her before this one ended.”In order to make this work, Liz knew she could no longer hide from Sarah that she had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.But six weeks after they got married, Liz hit a wall. She found herself in an airport, en route to Milan, tempted by a cold escape.Featured stories:“Flying Close to Temptation," Liz Parker“What Love Feels Like," E.J. SchwartzLiz's story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.You can find more information on today's episode here.
Dusty-Danger Dog

Dusty-Danger Dog

2020-11-0432:454

Feeling election stress? Today's stories about a man and his dog may help.Timothy Braun was on a run through the Texas heat. When he stopped at a local animal shelter for a drink of water, he was taken by a dog who stared at him with pointy ears and mismatched eyes — one brown, one blue. He had no intention of adopting a dog, but “out of curiosity, or God knows what” he looked into the dog’s folder. It said that he'd been abandoned by an old woman. Her reason? “Dusty keeps following me around the house.”On today’s episode, we follow Dusty and Timothy’s relationship through two stories, seven years apart.Featured stories:“Four-Legged Reason to Keep It Together" and "She Wanted a Man With a Good Job Who Was Nice to Animals" by Timothy BraunTimothy's stories story were recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.
Devoted but Doomed

Devoted but Doomed

2020-10-2821:382

In college, Malcolm Conner penned a rambling email intended for his crush. “You have cow eyes,” he wrote. “I know that sounds like a bad thing but have you ever looked into a cow’s eyes? They are so deep and brown and beautiful.”What he hadn’t disclosed — to his crush or to anyone at school — was that he was transgender and had transitioned at age 15. But he knew he had to tell this “charismatic acquaintance,” for what they had was flirtatious and unstoppable; it was, as Malcolm put it, physics.As it turned out, his crush had something to share too. They dated anyway — quietly, both knowing that each day of sweetness together was drawing them closer toward the last.Featured stories:“The Physics of Forbidden Love," Malcolm Conner“Strangers on a Train," Cecilia PesaoMalcolm’s story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.You can find more information on today's episode here.
They disagreed on a lot of things: She was a “bleeding-heart liberal”; he was a “conservative libertarian.” He “came from good Irish Catholic stock”; she called herself a “hopeful agnostic.”When the firefighter chased her down the street to ask her out, she pinned him as “a bald, white, middle-aged New York City cliché.”On their first date, no topic was off-limits. Not racism, not abortion, not substance abuse. With each date, another debate.Today’s episode is about the space they found in each other — and the unexpected aftermath of their breakup.Featured stories:“‘Old Never Happened for Him,’” Kathryn Jarvis“Firefighter Chases Woman Down Street,” Marlena BrownMarlena's story was narrated by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.
This episode contains strong language. On the first episode of the new Modern Love podcast, we hear from two women who examine their lives through the contents of their homes — the car in the driveway, the stained teacups, the razor and shaving cream by the sink. Though easy to ignore, these everyday objects often tell a larger story.Featured stories:“Bye Bye ‘Family’ Minivan," Kyrie Robinson“Tracking the Demise of My Marriage on Google Maps,” Maggie SmithMaggie’s story was narrated by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android. You can find more information on today's episode here.
Love is going to sound a little different this season. Tune into the first episode on Oct. 14, with new episodes every Wednesday.
In this week’s essay, Lilian Oben writes about how essential it is to be seen in relationships — to be able to take up space, without being asked to change who we are. Her essay is read by Zawe Ashton ("Betrayal").
Do you tell your friends you love them? And do you say it like that, using those words? Is it easy for you to say? Is it fraught? Ricardo Jaramillo takes those questions on in this week’s essay. It’s read by Ncuti Gatwa, who stars in “Sex Education” on Netflix.
Lorraine Toussaint ("The Glorias") reads an essay by Kim McLarin. Then, we catch up with Kim to hear how she is doing in this moment.
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Comments (138)

Mo U.

At least he admitted that he had a part in driving her away by trying to control her. Even though it was brief. I'm not sure that he's fully learned...

Jun 16th
Reply

An JANE

!!!

Jun 15th
Reply

Harshit kumar Gond

loved this one

Jun 2nd
Reply

khánh ly

Do you guys have stranscipt for this story?

May 28th
Reply

Christina White

loved it❤️

Apr 24th
Reply

Paz Ibarra-Muñoz

Anyone know why these stopped six months ago?

Apr 19th
Reply

Tracy Santimaw

When will we get new episodes????? Your break is over, get back to work! ❤

Apr 16th
Reply

Penelope Robins

I've listened to this so many times now, it's my favourite. So atmospheric, sends me off to lovely dreams

Mar 27th
Reply

Forever Young

g

Feb 23rd
Reply

grey rock

If you don't have faith, act as if you do until you get it. 📿🖤

Feb 15th
Reply

grey rock

Open your life up to the pain of others. This 🖤📿

Feb 14th
Reply

grey rock

The words wave and wave and then they come back, broken and then full. 🖤📿

Feb 14th
Reply

grey rock

Faith is nothing other than an acceptance of eternity and at the same time, death. 🖤📿

Feb 14th
Reply

grey rock

Much respect to 'Shalom' (pseudonym) for not allowing herself to be defined by a horrific attack/sexual assault that was intended to supress her political views. Poetic justice that she found her dharma in helping others overcome their own traumas and sufferings. My kind of super hero. 📿🖤

Feb 8th
Reply

grey rock

Judith' essay is worth listening to. Really impressed with how she navigated her way through a surprise request her husband made to her on his deathbed. Judith's response to what many would consider as betrayal was executed with such grace and selflessness that you can't help but have respect for her loyalty, strength and insight. 📿🖤

Feb 8th
Reply

grey rock

Beautifully written/read essay. 📿🖤 'If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.'

Feb 6th
Reply

grey rock

Great essay. 📿🖤

Feb 6th
Reply

grey rock

'I got on with the business of growing up.'

Feb 6th
Reply

grey rock

'Content this time to be left behind.'

Feb 6th
Reply

grey rock

'...I was surprised to feel uninterested in these monologues. For so many years I had wondered why she had left. But now I realized, I didn't so much care. The point for me was; that she had. All I actually needed was to tell her that her leaving had really screwed me up, for a really long time.' -- Brian Goedde

Feb 6th
Reply
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