Mollena's posts

I chat with Dana and Dave about the wonderful tour of Paisley Park, home of the Late Great Prince.

This funky fresh epi deals with random stuff, the importance of brownies when I have to placate an angry uterus, and the finer points of culinary torture. Would YOU, as a sadist, force someone to consume a food that would make them sick, just to watch 'em suffer? Would you, as a masochist, or as a submissive, consent to such an unusual "scene?" The Heavy Cream Scenario offers a fascinating jumping-off point for discussing the limits a lactose intolerant Negress such as myself might have to impose with negotiation with The Lazy Sadist.

(Transcript Available Here: http://www.mollena.com/2013/11/leather-reign-2013-on-silence-service/) November 9th, this is my speech at Leather Reign. Please be advised: I do talk about my own sexual assault. If this might be difficult for you to hear, please exercise whatever self-care you deem necessary. Thank you.

Our Very Special New York Podcasts is in three parts! Parts one & Two are single topic, and inspired by a conversation I had with one of my long-time and dear friends, R.-- What about people who have, as their core kink, providing service? How do they negotiate for that? This might be my fve so far, so bust out some snax and get ready for a pithy half-hour!

We start off with some ball wedging (hey, it makes sense of you've listened to the previous episodes!) and we jump back into telling / showing / sharing the intricacies of BDSM without losing the realness, the authenticity? I describe a wonderful moment I witnessed between a master and slave, and how lovely it was. And how that motivates my (possibly futile longing) to somehow bring stories of kick, BDSM and Power Exchange to an “audience” or, as I will forever consider them, the gathered voyeurs. J.P. gets down to the heart of the mater, by questioning not only CAN that sharing be accomplished authentically, but SHOULD that be something we share. And we finally get to J.P.’s true nature: a Dream-Killing Shithead. Which is, of course, really hot. Hot enough that I have now made it a fetish on FetLife. I talk about a scene where I realized that having an audience …or not…can be very impactful on the quality and sensation of the scene. So the question! Hey, people who are performers AND are kinky, how do you differentiate? When is a scene a performance for you? When does it feel different to have an audience, when is an active observer vital to your play, and do you feel that impacts the central nature of your play?

This next series of podcasts...folks, ALL over the damn map! We had a whole bunch of questions and topics and shit. Somehow, the weather became a fasci-fucking-nating topic. I'm serious, y'all. I mentioned that I had legendary Evil Jewish Lesbian Landlady and writer and stuff Laura Antoniou on Podcast #10, and J.P. waxes all rhapsodic as hell about The Marketplace series. And then J.P. makes all kinda noise about how awesome my roomie is, blah blah blah, we all know she's awesome and boggles the mind knocking out all kindsa books! We dipped toes into the ongoing 50 Shades debate, I talk about my upcoming OMFG CROSS COUNTRY TOUR (have you donated yet? Please do!) and why I want to create a documentary chronicling the stories of kink and BDSM in the USA.

Join me in conversation with Laura Antoniou, author of reams and reams of gay male smut (ha, see what I did there?) as well as one of the most seminal (oops I did it again!) series in the BDSM milieu: "The Marketplace."

Part four of a six section extended club mix in which J.P. and I continue to dissect and chew on the multiple manifestations of transparency in Power Exchange dynamics, and in the larger world of BDSM. Transparency in interactions: what we see people doing in the kink / Leather / BDSM Confederacies has so little to do with what is actually happening for people. J.P. Talks about how some opacity can be, for some folks, a beneficial tool for maintaining some degree of personal, emotional, spiritual privacy. When is transparency too much of a risk? FOr those who are engaging in a deeply spiritual path, it may well be that a lack of transparency feeds the idea of spirituality being deeper. What is the difference between your essential nature and your state of being? Can you exist in a state that is not aligned with your essential nature? and what happens when you do? J.P. introduces me to the Canadian concept of...er...longetivity. Transparency in protocols, and accidental transparency, when someone tips their hand and manages to reveal deeper truths even when they don't expect it. And just as I make some snappy analogy to having to maintain that high-performance vehicle with the good gasoline, and how that maps to d/s relationships, we hit the 30 minute mark! Stay tuned, since we have two more installments on this dense and tasty topic! Seriously, people, that's, like a three hour conversation!

Transparency, fools! Why do we not see so much of it from dominant types? How important is it in d/s and M/S relationships? When is the hunter more vulnerable than the hunted and who is hunting who in the first place? And more importantly. JUST HOW SWEATY IS JP?!? All this and more in the first-of-six installments on transparency in kink!

Sex, Kink, Sexuality, what does it all meeeeean?!? Brainnoms again with J.P. Robichaud and we try to hash out sexual satiation vs. erotic satiation. Aaaand...have moderate success with that. On eroticising sammitches...and on Coco The Cat's refusal to bring sammitches. Why SMs are pretty much The Shit and how much it translates preeeety damn flawlessly to BDSM. And how I suspect that pretty much all Stage Managers are a bit kinky. Some discussion on acknowledging service, on wny I really need to get the pat on the head, for real, yo. And why ID it that some perverts don't wanna talk about BDSM being FUN? Our question for you? Tell us how kink blends with fun and expends your joy! No, for real Tell us in the comments down there. Please? Otherwise J.P. will be all bummed out in that laid-back Canadian way and stuff.

So, we talk some more about hunger, gut instinct, low-hanging fruit, how I had patience modeled early in my intentional explorations into BDSM. J.P. talks about repping for THE PATRIARCHY (woot woot!) and how caution plays into his own measured pace. Also chomped on are how D/S and m/s can be challenging and also tough to navigate when you have the One True Way Thing in your face...or it has crept into your guts. How do we seek patterns, and how do we find ourselves irresistibly drawn to the seductive lure of narrative? Pattern lock and narrative addiction...and the risks of entitlement. #BDSM #KINK #Mollena #Mollena Williams #JP #JP Robichaud #PrimeDirective #Dominance and #Submission

So we riff on handles, scene names, and why it is weird to call J.P. "The Control Enthusiast," and archetypes of dominance. Conversation also jumps around all over D/S negotiations, how power structures in these relationships work...or don't. Talking also happens about hunger and why you can't make your choices from a place of privation. I was inspired by this segment to write "Beware Hunger," a recent post. Apologies for sound quality snafus! #mollena #BDSM #kink #Leather #pervertednegress #controlrnthusiast #JPRobichaid #JP #submission #dominance

Getting hyphy with the hypotheticals..fantasies vs. realities and edgeplay in daily life. We talk about the hotness of attention to detail, the randomness of stutters, why I avoid the word Smörgåsbord, and why pufferfish dominance isn't always the move. #BDSM #kink #fetish #dominance #submission #mollena #pervertednegress #Leather #JP

#Mollena #ThePervertedNegress #BDSM #EDUCATION #JP #ControlEnthusiast #Kink riffs in education, demo vs play, and Coco the cat weighs in on penises.

Wherein we discuss the vagaries of voluntary servitude in a racist context, more Paula Deen fooliganism, plantations, and so forth! Featuring J.P. Robichaud

My story of going into rehab and surrendering to a new identity.

A quick snippet about my singing on the soundtrack for "The Wiz"