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Welcome to More Than Roommates, where we want to help you take the next step to be more intentional in your marriage. We want to help you avoid falling into the trap of being merely roommates with your spouse. We hope that through authentic, biblical, and practical conversation you will gain tools and wisdom to help you take one step closer to the Lord and the marriage He intends for you and your spouse. Listen in as Scott Kedersha, Gabrielle McCullough, and Derek Davidson help you intentionally strengthen your relationship.
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In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott share five priorities that shape a faithful life and marriage, drawing insight from Dr. Gary Chapman’s long obedience in the same direction. They walk through what it looks like to keep Jesus first, prioritize your spouse and kids, live on mission together, and aim to finish faithful to the very end.Questions to Discuss:1. Who was your favorite teacher when you were growing up? Share with your spouse.2. What does look like to be faithful for you right now in your current season of life?3. When you look at your current rhythms, what (honestly) seems like your true first priority—Jesus, marriage, kids, work, comfort, or something else?4. Which of the five priorities (Jesus, spouse, kids, mission, finishing faithful) do you sense the Lord highlighting most strongly for this season?Scriptures:MT 6:33MT 22:37-40PR 4:23PS 127:32 Corinthians 5:18Hebrews 12:1-22 Cor 4:2ResourcesBook - The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman
In this episode of More Than Roommates, Scott, Derek, and Gabrielle talk about what it looks like for couples to pursue generosity together—especially when fear, comparison, or family history make giving hard. They unpack biblical principles, personal stories, and practical ideas to help you build a thoughtful, cheerful, and faith-filled approach to money in your marriage.Scriptures:Luke 21:1-4Acts 20:352 Corinthians 9:6-71 Tim 5:8Questions to Discuss:1. What keeps you from being generous with your finances as a couple?2. When you think about being generous, what emotion rises up first—excitement or anxiety? Why do you think that is?3. What will you and your spouse do if you differ in your views on generosity?4. Where do you see a lack of faith showing up in how you handle money? Are you tempted to find security in a savings account more than in God’s provision?
In this episode of More Than Roommates, Scott and Derek interview authors of the book Away Game and longtime sport-ministry leaders Ed Uszynski and Brian Smith to help couples reframe youth sports as a discipleship opportunity instead of an all-consuming lifestyle. They unpack how to make thoughtful choices about Sundays, money, travel, and expectations—all for the sake of your marriage and your kids’ formation.Scriptures:Romans 12:1-2Hebrews 10:24-25PR 22:6Questions to Discuss:1. When we leave a game, what do we celebrate first—performance or character (effort, joy, self-control, love)? What does that reveal about our priorities?2. Which fruit of the Spirit do we want to cultivate most in our family through sports this month? What’s one habit to reinforce it (before, during, and after games)?3. Money & time check: Are our sports expenses and calendar aligned with our values for marriage, family, generosity, and rest? What needs adjusting?4. Expectations audit: Are we subtly tying our child’s performance to our identity? How can we speak freedom and grace over them—and each other—this week?Resources:Book - Away Game, by Brian Smith & Ed UszynskiWebsite - TheChristianAthlete.comFollow Brian Smith and Ed Uszynski on Instagram
In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott discuss non-negotiables, preferences, wise process, and why commitment to a local body is essential for your spiritual growth and your marriage. They discuss what to do when you and your spouse don’t see eye-to-eye.Scriptures:Hebrews 10:23-25Acts 2:42-471 Corinthians 12Romans 12PS 19:14Questions to Discuss:1. What are our top five non-negotiables for a church? Where are we currently aligned—and where are we not?2. How are we currently using our gifts to build up the body (1 Cor 12; Rom 12)? What’s one next step we can take to use our gifts?3. If we’re considering a change, have we fasted, prayed, and invited community/leadership into the decision?4. What past church experiences (good or painful) might be shaping our expectations today?Resources:Sacred Pathways, by Gary Thomas
In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss some conversations couples that strengthen oneness every day. Couples won’t find the satisfaction, joy, and happiness they desire apart from intentional conversations with one another. Scriptures:Genesis 2:25Galatians 6:21 Peter 5:7Psalm 55:22Psalm 139:14Deut 31:6Phil 4:8Questions to Discuss:1. Which one of you is more of the talker in your relationship/marriage?2. On a scale of 1–10, how would you rate our marriage this week—and why?3. What are you currently into (Scripture insight, song, show, book, podcast) and why does it resonate?4. Share one future hope or dream—how might God use us there?5. What one small daily or weekly rhythm would help us keep these five conversations going?Resources:Article - People in the Happiest Relationships Talk about 5 Things Every DayOne of Scott’s favorite Instagram followers - Everydaywithhk
In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott unpack four marriage trends—crisis of resilience, digital disconnect, financial anxiety, and blurred lines between work and home—and offer practical ways to push back with biblical wisdom. We hope this episode helps you move from “roommates” to a joy-filled, God-honoring marriage. Scriptures:1 Cor 7:28John 16:33MT 7:24-27Col 3:231 Cor 10:31Jeremiah 17:5-8 Questions to Discuss:1. Where have we expected marriage to be “easy,” and how can we build grit (perseverance + hope) together this month?2. What are our top two phone/tech boundaries for date nights, evenings, and weekends? (Be specific: chargers, baskets, Focus modes, no-phone zones.)3. What’s driving our financial anxiety—math, lifestyle, or comparison? What’s one action we’ll take this week (budget meeting, cut a subscription, set a savings/giving goal)?4. How are our work/home lines blurred right now? Name one habit to protect family time (e.g., no email after 6pm, a daily shutdown ritual, office hours).Resources:Financial Peace university
FamilyLife Today hosts Dave & Ann Wilson join Scott & Gabrielle to talk about Ann’s new book, How to Speak Life to Your Husband When All You Want to Do Is Yell at Him—and why a wife’s voice carries unique power. We cover practical ways to shift from critique to encouragement, how prayer re-wires our minds, and how both spouses can speak truth in love without tearing each other down. Scriptures:Genesis 3Proverbs 18:21James 3:1-12Romans 12:2 Resources:Book – Ann Wilson, with Davd Wilson - How to Speak Life to Your Husband: When All You Want to Do Is Yell at HimDave & Ann’s podcast – FamilyLife TodayFollow Dave & Anne on Instagram Questions to Discuss:1. When you think about the tone of your home lately, do your words feel more like “life” or more like “boo”? Give specific examples—gently.2. What is one concrete way you can speak life to your spouse this week (phrase, text, public praise in front of the kids, written note, etc.)?3. How can you start (or restart) praying together in a way that’s realistic—time of day, length, and format (out loud, texted prayer, voicemail)?
In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott have a candid, biblical conversation about the “sexless marriage”—why it happens, how pornography, busyness, medical issues, and poor communication play a role, and what couples can do to rebuild connection. They offer practical steps so you can move from roommates back to one-flesh intimacy. Questions to Discuss: 1. In our season right now, does sex feel more like a thermometer (just reporting our temperature) or a thermostat (able to change it)? Why?2. When was the last time we each felt truly pursued and enjoyed by the other? What specific actions helped?3. What would make it safer for us to share desires, preferences, and fears about sex?4. How can we renew the covenant this week in a way that is tender, unhurried, and mutually honoring? Scriptures:Ephesians 4:271 Corinthians 7:3-5 Resources:Book - Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference by Shaunti Feldhahn & Michael SytsmaArticle – The Sex RecessionBook – Reconnected – Greg & Erin SmalleyMore Than Roommates Interviews with Juli Slattery – Surrendered Sexuality & Sexual Abuse
Many couples treat money like “yours” and “mine,” but Scripture calls us to live as “one flesh”—and that includes our finances. In this episode Derek, Garielle, and Scott talk about joint accounts, transparency, and simple rhythms that move you from roommates to true financial intimacy. Scriptures:Genesis 2:24Psalm 24:1Psalm 50:10 Questions to Discuss:1. Do you and your spouse share food?2. Why does it matter whether you merge your bank accounts or not?3. When you hear “one flesh financially,” what excites you and what scares you? Why?4. If you keep (or want) separate accounts, what heart-level reasons are driving that (control, fear, secrecy, past hurt, convenience)?5. What weekly or bi-weekly money rhythm would help us communicate (budget review, giving/prayer, upcoming expenses, savings goals)? Resources:Watermark - Moneywise Ministry ResourcesRamsey - Financial Peace University
Marriage is often described as hard—but it’s also one of God’s greatest gifts of joy. In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott share biblical wisdom, stories, and practical ways to cultivate gladness, gratitude, and fun in your marriage.Scriptures:1 Cor 7:28John 16:33MT 7:24-27John 10:10 Discussion Questions:1. What small things bring joy and laughter into your marriage right now?2. Are there habits you’ve let go of (like creative dates or playful traditions) that you want to bring back?3. How can you speak more positively about your marriage to others—without ignoring the hard parts?4. What’s one practical step you can take this week to pursue gladness together?Resources:Book - Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them, by Dave CarderBook – The Ready or Knot Prayer Guide, by Scott Kedersha
In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott welcome back Dr. Juli Slattery to discuss her newest book, Surrendered Sexuality. Together they unpack why sexual struggles are always spiritual struggles, how identity in Christ transforms intimacy, and what it looks like to invite God into this vulnerable area of marriage Scriptures:Psalm 139:7-8Romans 12:1-2 Resources:Juli’s book – Surrendered Sexuality: How Knowing Jesus Changes… EverythingEpisode 127 – Healing From Sexual Abuse (feat. Juli Slattery)Juli’s Ministry and Podcast - Authentic Intimacy, Java with Juli Questions to Discuss:1. Do you find it difficult to invite God into conversations about sex and intimacy in your marriage? Why or why not?2. How does culture influence the way you and your spouse think about sex? In what ways do you need to realign with a biblical mindset?3. What’s one part of your life—or marriage—you’ve struggled to surrender to Jesus?
In this episode, the More Than Roommates team tackles one of the most quoted—and misunderstood—marriage verses: “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” They unpack what Ephesians 4:26 really means, why staying up until 2 a.m. fighting isn’t always wise, and practical ways to resolve conflict quickly without giving the enemy a foothold in your marriage. Scriptures:Ephesians 4:25-27Ephesians 4:3Romans 12:18 Questions to Discuss:1. What are your sleeping habits as a couple?2. How have you as a couple interpreted “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger” in your marriage? Has it helped or hurt you?3. When you're in conflict late at night, what’s your agreed-upon plan—keep talking, or hit pause and revisit?4. What “pre-decisions” could you make (e.g., never sleeping on the couch in anger) to protect unity in your relationship?5. Are there busy schedules or commitments keeping you from connecting before the late-night hours? If so, what changes could you make?
In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott talk about cohabitation and whether couples should live together before marriage (Hint: the answer is “no”). We discuss the dangers of acting like a married couple before you make the covenant commitment marriage requires. Scriptures:Hebrews 13:4Romans 12:1-2Genesis 2:24-251 Corinthians 6:18John 4Ephesians 5:15 Questions to Discuss:1. How do you think our culture’s view of living together before marriage differs from God’s design?2. How have you seen “playing married” cause harm — in your own story or in others’?3. If you lived together before marriage, what conversations of repentance, grace, or reflection might be helpful now?4. How can we lovingly encourage friends or family members who are considering living together before marriage?Resources:Relationship DUI Video
Author and speaker Arlene Pellicane joins the More Than Roommates team to talk about her new book Making Marriage Easier and the four simple decisions that can transform your relationship. From practicing gratitude to setting tech boundaries, Arlene offers practical, biblical, and fun ways to move from “just roommates” to a thriving marriage. Scriptures:Gen 1:28Gen 2:241 Thess 5:16-18 Questions to Discuss:1. How can you and your spouse better cultivate a culture of gratitude in your marriage?2. Which of the four decisions—play by the rules, give thanks, serve your spouse, take fun seriously—comes most naturally to you, and which is most challenging?3. How has technology helped or hurt your connection as a couple? What boundaries might help protect your relationship?4. When was the last time you had truly fun, joyful time together? How can you make that more regular? Resources:Arlene’s latest book - Making Marriage Easier: How to Love (and Like) Your Spouse for LifeFollow Arlene on InstagramArlene’s Website: ArlenePellicane.com and Making Marriage Easier site.Arlene’s Podcast – Happy Home Podcast
Every marriage has warning lights—subtle indicators that something needs attention. In this episode of More Than Roommates, Scott, Derek, and Gabrielle talk through four key warning signs to watch for in your marriage and practical ways to address them before they turn into bigger problems. Scriptures:1 Peter 3:7PR 27:12Galatians 6:7-81 Cor 6:181 Cor 10:12 Questions to Discuss:1. When was the last time you and your spouse laughed together? What could you do this week to create more fun moments?2. How connected do you feel to your spouse right now on a scale of 1–10? What would help you move up one point?3. Are there any unresolved conflicts between you that need to be addressed?4. In what ways are you guarding your marriage against unhealthy boundaries with the opposite sex?5. How are you growing spiritually together? What’s one step you can take this week to pursue God as a couple? Resources:Book - Making Marriage Easier, by Arlene PellicaneMTR Episode 109 - Marriage Myth: We Think We’re Healthy Because We Don’t Fight (feat. Greg & Erin Smalley)
Too many couples wait years before seeking help in their marriage—often after unhealthy patterns are deeply rooted. In this episode, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott challenge listeners to fight that tendency by asking for help early, engaging in community, and regularly checking in with one another before problems really settle in.Scriptures:Proverbs 19:11Proverbs 18:2Eph 4:26-27 Questions to Discuss:1. If you see something broken in your house, what do you do?2. Are there any “small cracks” in our marriage we’ve been ignoring?3. What keeps us from asking for help—pride, fear, apathy, comparison?4. What’s one way we can bring others into our marriage to speak life and truth?
In this episode of More Than Roommates, the MTR team interviews Gabe and Rebekah Lyons about their new book, The Fight For Us. The Lyons share vulnerably about their journey through conflict, emotional intimacy, and the realities of mental health in marriage. They unpack practical tools from their new book The Fight for Us, including how to support your spouse, move from isolation to connection, and keep fighting for each other when life gets hard.Scriptures:John 16:331 Peter 3:7 Questions to Discuss:1. What is one way we can “fight for us” instead of fighting against each other this week?2. Take Gabe & Rebekah’s Marriage Quiz. What’s your default response in the “dysfunctional dance”? (Silent, Intense, Avoidant, Anxious). How does that affect your marriage?3. In what ways can I better support you during seasons of anxiety, stress, or discouragement?4. What are some of your strengths I can celebrate more often?Resources:Book – The Fight For Us: Overcome What Divides to Build a Marriage That Thrives, Rebekah & Gabe LyonsLearn more about Gabe Lyons & Rebekah LyonsTHINQMedia.com & THINQ Summit 2025Free Marriage Quiz - What’s Your Dance?Gabe & Rebekah’s Marriage & Parenting RetreatThe Fight For Us Podcast Series (14 episode series) Apple & Spotify
In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott dive into the often controversial and deeply personal topic of modesty—what we wear, why we wear it, and how it impacts our spouse, our marriage, and our walk with the Lord. Scriptures:1 Tim 2:9-101 Peter 3:3-4Romans 12:2PS 139:14 Questions to Discuss:1. When you get dressed, what drives your clothing choices—comfort, attention, insecurity, or something else?2. How do you feel about what your spouse wears in public or posts online? Have you talked about this before?3. What would it look like to honor God, your spouse, and others through the way you dress and present yourself?4. Are there any unspoken assumptions or double standards in your marriage regarding modesty?
Most affairs don’t begin in a hotel room—they start with unnoticed compromise and poor decisions in the workplace. In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the sobering reality of workplace temptation and offer practical, biblical strategies to protect and strengthen your marriage.Scriptures:2 Corinthians 12:9Matthew 5:27-301 Corinthians 10:12 Resources:Jordan Raynor Newsletter - 85% of affairs start at work. Here are 3 ways to stay pure. Questions to Discuss:1. Are there any boundaries we need to revisit or establish when it comes to work relationships with the opposite sex?2. How do we communicate when one of us has to travel or work closely with someone of the opposite sex?3. In what ways can we invite community into this area of our lives for prayer and accountability?4. What “commitment devices” or proactive safeguards could we put in place to protect our marriage?
How should couples talk about health, body image, and physical changes over time without shaming or hurting one another? In this episode of More Thann Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott have an authentic, biblical, and practical conversation about pursuing health and wellness in marriage, and why honoring God with your body matters more than chasing perfection or appearances.Scriptures:1 Cor 10:311 Cor 6:19-20Gen 2:24PR 21:91 Pet 3:15Gal 6:1 Questions to Discuss:1. What was your family’s view of health growing up? How does that influence your habits today?2. Why do you think it’s hard for most couples to discuss wellness, eating, exercise, etc…?3. What is the goal of your desires to pursue health and wellness?4. How can you and your spouse help other to be healthy? How could we make this a shared pursuit—meals, walks, fitness, prayer—for the sake of unity and companionship?Resources:Book – Every Body Matters, by Gary ThomasLast week’s More Than Roommates – How to Stay Attracted & Attractive in Marriage
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my fiance and I have been listening since day 1 and we love your topical conversations. We had the absolute pleasure of meeting Scott and Kristen at the weekender where they were guest speakers and it was incredible. I am a child of divorce and strive wholeheartedly to be a cycle breaker and to be the best husband to my pumpkin queen!