Morning Crankers: Comedy - News & Outrageous Real-Life Stories

Start your day with a caffeine-fueled comedy ride in this episode of Morning Crankers: Pants, Politics & Paper Bags. Hans takes you through seven jaw-dropping, laugh-out-loud stories that prove the world has officially gone off the rails. From the Birmingham woman who forgot her PANTS and a Florida principal busted for a $37 Walmart heist, to a UK carjacker wielding a paper bag as his “weapon,” the stupidity is strong today.Sports fans get their share too: Jerry Jones compares a tie to “kissing your sister,” Bad Bunny’s Super Bowl halftime show announcement sparks internet chaos, and golf melts down with Bryson DeChambeau punching himself while Rory McIlroy faces squeaky rubber ducks at the Ryder Cup. Add in a Florida duo caught with 200 pounds of stolen mail, and you’ve got a 40-minute rollercoaster of pure ridiculousness.If you love morning radio chaos, dumb criminal stories, weird sports news, and caffeinated rants that mix comedy with WTF headlines, this episode is your new guilty pleasure. Grab your coffee, double-check you’re wearing pants, and let’s crank it.#MorningCrankers #ComedyPodcast #FunnyNews #DumbCriminals #FloridaMan #NoPantsLady #PaperBagCarjacker #JerryJones #BadBunny #SuperBowlHalftime #StolenMail #GolfMeltdown #SportsComedy #PodcastComedy #CaffeinatedComedy #MorningShow #WeirdNews #StandUpStylePodcast #LaughOutLoud #CrankItSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week on Morning Crankers, we crank up the chaos and laughter with stories you couldn’t make up if you tried. From a woman who didn’t realize she was pregnant until she delivered a 7.8-pound baby (talk about a surprise gift bag) to the infamous Orgy Dome at Burning Man literally blowing away in the desert wind, the headlines are as unhinged as ever.But that’s not all—we dive into the toxic traits of today’s dating scene, explore Florida’s bizarre new plan to unleash cyborg bunnies to hunt pythons, and react to the jaw-dropping discovery of 97 cars pulled out of a Chicago river investigation. Oh, and in Denmark, a zoo has the audacity to ask people to donate their family pets… as food. Yes, you read that right.This episode is a full-on carnival of WTF moments, unfiltered commentary, and our signature comedic spin on the strange, the shocking, and the straight-up stupid. Grab your coffee (or something stronger)—you’ll need it.#MorningCrankers #ComedyPodcast #WeirdNews #OrgyDome #BurningMan #FloridaMan #CyborgBunnies #ChicagoMystery #ZooGoneWild #SurpriseBaby #DatingToxicTraits #ComedyGold #WTFNewsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Buckle up for another chaotic ride with the Morning Crankers Comedy Podcast! Today’s episode dives headfirst into the bizarre and hilarious world we live in. From radioactive wasps to a deadly rattlesnake bite, the Crankers explore just how upside down things have gotten. We cover today’s wild National Days, the mysterious disappearance of Gred from the show, and unbelievable stories like meat-eating rabbits with horns roaming Colorado. We also dig into Hillary Clinton’s shocking comments about Trump and the Nobel Peace Prize, Willie Mays’ underwear hitting the auction block, and plenty of laugh-out-loud commentary in between. If you love comedy, weird news, and unapologetic rants about a world gone mad, this is your daily dose of unfiltered fun.#MorningCrankers #ComedyPodcast #WeirdNews #RadioactiveWasps #RattlesnakeBite #MeatEatingRabbits #NationalDays #MissingGred #HillaryClinton #TrumpNobelPrize #WillieMays #FunnyPodcast #CurrentEventsComedy #WildStoriesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Strap in for another wild ride with Morning Crankers, where coffee meets chaos and current events get the roast they deserve! In today’s episode, we kick things off with a tragic yet historic story—the first man to break the sound barrier in a skydive has died in a helicopter crash. We shift gears to celebrate TJ Watt's massive payday with the Pittsburgh Steelers, then hop across the pond where Denmark is renting its air defense (yes, really).In entertainment news, we’re fired up about the return of King of the Hill—the propane empire lives on! Then it’s back to politics and policy: the U.S. is eyeing $9 billion in cuts from NPR and foreign aid budgets, and we break down what that could mean for your wallet and the world. And to top it off, we dive into a bizarre and chilling conviction in Australia’s infamous poisonous mushroom case.Expect the unexpected—offbeat headlines, real talk, and sharp wit served hot and fast. That’s the Morning Crankers promise.Hashtagged Keywords: #MorningCrankers #TJWatt #SkydivingLegend #SoundBarrier #KingOfTheHill #DenmarkDefense #ForeignAidCuts #NPRBudget #PoisonMushroomCase #AustralianCrime #ComedyPodcast #NewsWithAttitude #DailyPodcast #CrankersCrewSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this unfiltered and chaotic July 10th edition of Morning Crankers, your favorite neon-fueled duo dives headfirst into the absurdity of today’s headlines with humor, sarcasm, and a healthy dose of skepticism.🔥 First up—federal workers are sounding the alarm, admitting they’re “toast” amid rising public pressure, inefficiency scandals, and internal chaos. We break down what this bureaucratic breakdown really means for America.🔫 Then—in a scene straight out of a Cold War thriller, China allegedly fires a laser at a German spy plane over international waters. Is this a warning shot or the beginning of something far more dangerous?🦷 Plus—a Czech family pleads guilty to running an illegal dental clinic out of their living room. That’s right—root canals by grandma and braces by flashlight. What could possibly go wrong?🎯 We also hit on:Government dysfunction at every levelStrange global flexing by superpowersThe return of rogue DIY medical schemesAnd our own wild takes on just how crazy the news cycle has gottenCome laugh, rage, and shake your head with us as we crank through the day’s most outrageous stories.#MorningCrankers #ComedyPodcast #CurrentEvents #ChinaSpyPlane #FederalWorkers #GovernmentFail #IllegalDentist #CzechFamily #LaserAttack #TrueNewsComedy #SatiricalPodcast #BureaucracyGoneWild #WTFNews #UnlicensedDentistry #PodcastLife #PoliticalComedy #WorldEventsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to the July 7, 2025 episode of Morning Crankers, where comedy meets chaos and caffeine. Today’s show dives headfirst into the bizarre, the infuriating, and the absolutely unbelievable—just the way you like it.We kick things off with a mind-bending (and slightly horrifying) look at the rising presence of microplastics in semen and ovaries—yes, you read that right. What does this mean for humanity, health, and that water bottle you’ve been sipping from?Next, we blast the political hypocrisy flooding out of Texas, where torrential rain isn’t the only disaster—some of the politicians' responses are downright shameful. Buckle up for some blue-collar truth bombs.Then it's milk. Just... milk. Why is it always at the center of controversy, conspiracy, and cafeteria trauma?We close out the episode with one of the most “LOL-WTF?” studies we’ve come across: researchers claim kids today are less healthy than they were 20 years ago. We dig into what’s changed, why it matters, and how many pushups your kid should be doing.Of course, it’s all wrapped in the Morning Crankers signature chaos, rants, laughs, and off-the-rails energy you know and love. #MorningCrankers #ComedyPodcast #CurrentEvents #Microplastics #TexasFlood #PoliticalHypocrisy #HealthNews #WeirdScience #MilkDebate #KidsHealth #ParentingPodcast #WTFNews #CaffeineFueled #July2025 #PodcastHumor #UnfilteredNews #BlueCollarTruth #TalkRadioVibes #CrankerChaos #ShockAndLaugh #FunnyPodcast #NewsWithHumor #AmericanPodcast #TrendingTopics #SocietyAndCultureSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Morning Crankers – July 4th Fireworks, Swamp Crotch, and Rescue MissionsDetailed Episode Description: It’s the red, white, and ridiculous on this special July 4th edition of Morning Crankers! Join your favorite unapologetically raw morning duo as they crack into the chaos of America’s birthday — Cranker-style.First up, Greg's making his big, sweaty move to Wisconsin. He’s hauling boxes, breaking backs, and getting one step closer to cheese curds and Packers fandom. We salute his sacrifice… but mostly roast it.Then there’s The Big Beautiful Bill — no, not legislation, we’re talking about Bill himself, the real MVP of the barbecue world. Expect oversized laughs and questionable decisions.Next, we light the fuse on blue-collar wages going BOOM, as some folks finally start seeing decent paychecks in their tool belts. Of course, Crankers wouldn't be Crankers without asking: is it enough or just a firecracker in a thunderstorm?But wait — the TSA’s got hot crotch problems. Literally. A swamp-crotch-induced equipment malfunction at airport security brings new meaning to the phrase “explosive situation.”And finally, in international absurdity: a Chinese college student needs to be rescued twice from the same mountain in four days. That’s right. Same mountain. Same guy. Double dumb.It’s loud, it's hot, it smells like fireworks and bad decisions — it’s a Morning Crankers celebration of freedom, failure, and frying in the July heat.Hashtagged Keywords: #MorningCrankers #July4thShow #GregMovesToWisconsin #SwampCrotchCrisis #TSAFails #BigBeautifulBill #BlueCollarWages #LaborMarket2025 #AmericanComedy #CrankersUnfiltered #CollegeFails #ChinaRescueStory #PodcastHumor #ComedyPodcast #IndependenceDayMadness #FreedomAndFailure #AmericaUnhinged #SatireNews #PodcastOfThePeople #BarbecueBill #HilariousFails #4thOfJulyPodcast #UnfilteredComedy #WisconsinBoundSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this wild ride of Morning Crankers, we crank up the chaos with a mix of comedy, curiosity, and candid commentary. May 23rd brings us a stacked lineup: we kick off with today’s National Days (and yes, we try to celebrate them all wrong). Then it’s onto a headline that defies belief — a woman missing for 60 years is found alive! From Earth to orbit, we cover China’s space station discovering bacteria from outer space — what could possibly go wrong? We’ll also ruin your nap plans with the itchy truth about using someone else's pillow (spoiler: mites!). In Denmark, the retirement age gets pushed to 70 (ouch), and a disturbing story out of Texas reveals an 11-year-old calling 911 as his mother sets family pets on fire — heavy stuff, but we handle it with care and honest reactions. Finally, we lighten the load with a French town’s hilarious world record attempt: the most people dressed as Smurfs. Blue paint, mayhem, and pure Morning Crankers-style madness.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/morning-crankers-comedy-news-outrageous-real-life-stories--6463272/support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this outrageous episode of Morning Crankers, we dive headfirst into May 19th's National Days with our signature comedic twist, and we turn up the heat with our hilarious hit song, "Hotter Than a Possum's Armpit," featuring a special cameo by Bill from Curious Cars. But that's not all! We also break down the jaw-dropping story of a millionaire who won a $100,000 lawsuit in England after being falsely accused of skipping out on a lunch bill. Ever wondered what happens when a Japanese boy's obsession with his phone leads to "Dropping Head Syndrome?" We've got the bizarre details. Plus, the Mexican Navy takes on the Brooklyn Bridge in a way you won’t believe. Join us for wild laughs, unpredictable stories, and our trademark no-holds-barred comedy. Don’t miss it!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/morning-crankers-comedy-news-outrageous-real-life-stories--6463272/support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to the first chaotic, hilarious, and wildly inappropriate episode of Dr. Cranker’s Comedy Clinic on Morning Crankers! In this outrageous skit, the infamous Dr. Cranker shares his top ten list of things you should absolutely NEVER stick in your butthole. From pineapples to live hamsters, fireworks to self-help books – Dr. Cranker’s dubious but hilarious medical advice will leave you laughing and cringing in equal measure. Tune in for comedy that’s a little bit twisted, a little bit wild, and absolutely unforgettable!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/morning-crankers-comedy-news-outrageous-real-life-stories--6463272/support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a wild ride on today's Morning Crankers! We kick off with a hilarious performance of our brand-new song "Big Trailer Booty," bringing the laughs and the rhythm you crave. Then, we dive into some jaw-dropping stories from around the world: archaeologists uncover a 2,000-year-old weapons hoard, a swarm of mosquitoes fills an entire plane, and a United Nations Judge is convicted for owning a slave from Uganda. The madness doesn’t stop there—we cover the heart-pounding story of a missing Missouri juvenile found in Colorado and the twisted tale of a woman who poisons her significant other's lover and kids. Tune in for laughs, shockers, and unforgettable moments you won’t want to miss!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/morning-crankers-comedy-news-outrageous-real-life-stories--6463272/support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dive into another wildly entertaining episode of Morning Crankers, where today we explore the deep blue and beyond! We kick things off with a look at the National Days you didn't know you needed to celebrate. Then, we plunge into the bizarre world of sharks, including some of the weirdest species you've never heard of and the shocking claim that influencers are causing a rise in shark attacks! But that's not all—discover how dolphins are getting high on puffer fish and why this underwater escapade is more than just fishy business. We also bust 10 common misconceptions that you've probably believed your whole life. Plus, we proudly introduce Dr. Cranker, our newest expert in wild and wacky knowledge. It's a tidal wave of fun, facts, and freakish stories you don't want to miss!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/morning-crankers-comedy-news-outrageous-real-life-stories--6463272/support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this May 2nd episode of Morning Crankers, chaos reigns supreme—from crime-trained animals pulling off petty thefts to a man literally sneezing his guts out over breakfast (talk about a bad start to the day). We dig into the shocking #1 box office hit "Sinners", dissect why Revenge of the Sith might be getting its long-awaited revenge 20 years later, and explore the murky past of Operation Mockingbird and its ties to Stuccimedia.com. Plus, we unearth the ancient hell ant (yes, that’s a real thing), celebrate today’s National Days, and ask why no one is safe—not even your cereal. It’s weird, it’s wild, it’s wonderfully Cranked.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/morning-crankers-comedy-news-outrageous-real-life-stories--6463272/support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Buckle up for the wild ride that is Morning Crankers, May 1st edition! We dive into the chaotic brilliance of Tom Hardy’s gritty new Netflix flick Havoc, preview the epic crossover clash with the new Alien vs Predator movie, and ask the question nobody else will: Why are people getting turned on by their air fryers?! Plus, we fetch some laughs with a canine surfing competition that’ll have your tail wagging, explore how Jobu became the unexpected lucky charm for the St. Louis Blues, and unpack the sweet insanity of Detroit’s annual marshmallow drop. It’s unpredictable, unfiltered, and 100% Cranked.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/morning-crankers-comedy-news-outrageous-real-life-stories--6463272/support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On today's episode of Morning Crankers, chaos reigns supreme! We kick off with a rundown of today's National Days before diving headfirst into some of the most absurdly hilarious news you won't believe is real. First up, the "Dirty Diddler" shocks the courtroom by turning down a plea deal. Then we flap into the insane case of a woman convicted of killing her husband — thanks to a parrot’s testimony! We also talk about a man who torches his mother's house over money (hint: it’s not for bills), and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers signing a 464-pound defensive tackle that's breaking both records and scales. Plus, we sprinkle in a buffet of absurdly funny headlines from around the world. If you need a laugh today, Morning Crankers has you covered!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/morning-crankers-comedy-news-outrageous-real-life-stories--6463272/support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.