Start your day with a caffeine-fueled comedy ride in this episode of Morning Crankers: Pants, Politics & Paper Bags. Hans takes you through seven jaw-dropping, laugh-out-loud stories that prove the world has officially gone off the rails. From the Birmingham woman who forgot her PANTS and a Florida principal busted for a $37 Walmart heist, to a UK carjacker wielding a paper bag as his âweapon,â the stupidity is strong today.Sports fans get their share too: Jerry Jones compares a tie to âkissing your sister,â Bad Bunnyâs Super Bowl halftime show announcement sparks internet chaos, and golf melts down with Bryson DeChambeau punching himself while Rory McIlroy faces squeaky rubber ducks at the Ryder Cup. Add in a Florida duo caught with 200 pounds of stolen mail, and youâve got a 40-minute rollercoaster of pure ridiculousness.If you love morning radio chaos, dumb criminal stories, weird sports news, and caffeinated rants that mix comedy with WTF headlines, this episode is your new guilty pleasure. Grab your coffee, double-check youâre wearing pants, and letâs crank it.#MorningCrankers #ComedyPodcast #FunnyNews #DumbCriminals #FloridaMan #NoPantsLady #PaperBagCarjacker #JerryJones #BadBunny #SuperBowlHalftime #StolenMail #GolfMeltdown #SportsComedy #PodcastComedy #CaffeinatedComedy #MorningShow #WeirdNews #StandUpStylePodcast #LaughOutLoud #CrankItSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
This week on Morning Crankers, we crank up the chaos and laughter with stories you couldnât make up if you tried. From a woman who didnât realize she was pregnant until she delivered a 7.8-pound baby (talk about a surprise gift bag) to the infamous Orgy Dome at Burning Man literally blowing away in the desert wind, the headlines are as unhinged as ever.But thatâs not allâwe dive into the toxic traits of todayâs dating scene, explore Floridaâs bizarre new plan to unleash cyborg bunnies to hunt pythons, and react to the jaw-dropping discovery of 97 cars pulled out of a Chicago river investigation. Oh, and in Denmark, a zoo has the audacity to ask people to donate their family pets⊠as food. Yes, you read that right.This episode is a full-on carnival of WTF moments, unfiltered commentary, and our signature comedic spin on the strange, the shocking, and the straight-up stupid. Grab your coffee (or something stronger)âyouâll need it.#MorningCrankers #ComedyPodcast #WeirdNews #OrgyDome #BurningMan #FloridaMan #CyborgBunnies #ChicagoMystery #ZooGoneWild #SurpriseBaby #DatingToxicTraits #ComedyGold #WTFNewsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Buckle up for another chaotic ride with the Morning Crankers Comedy Podcast! Todayâs episode dives headfirst into the bizarre and hilarious world we live in. From radioactive wasps to a deadly rattlesnake bite, the Crankers explore just how upside down things have gotten. We cover todayâs wild National Days, the mysterious disappearance of Gred from the show, and unbelievable stories like meat-eating rabbits with horns roaming Colorado. We also dig into Hillary Clintonâs shocking comments about Trump and the Nobel Peace Prize, Willie Maysâ underwear hitting the auction block, and plenty of laugh-out-loud commentary in between. If you love comedy, weird news, and unapologetic rants about a world gone mad, this is your daily dose of unfiltered fun.#MorningCrankers #ComedyPodcast #WeirdNews #RadioactiveWasps #RattlesnakeBite #MeatEatingRabbits #NationalDays #MissingGred #HillaryClinton #TrumpNobelPrize #WillieMays #FunnyPodcast #CurrentEventsComedy #WildStoriesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Strap in for another wild ride with Morning Crankers, where coffee meets chaos and current events get the roast they deserve! In todayâs episode, we kick things off with a tragic yet historic storyâthe first man to break the sound barrier in a skydive has died in a helicopter crash. We shift gears to celebrate TJ Watt's massive payday with the Pittsburgh Steelers, then hop across the pond where Denmark is renting its air defense (yes, really).In entertainment news, weâre fired up about the return of King of the Hillâthe propane empire lives on! Then itâs back to politics and policy: the U.S. is eyeing $9 billion in cuts from NPR and foreign aid budgets, and we break down what that could mean for your wallet and the world. And to top it off, we dive into a bizarre and chilling conviction in Australiaâs infamous poisonous mushroom case.Expect the unexpectedâoffbeat headlines, real talk, and sharp wit served hot and fast. Thatâs the Morning Crankers promise.Hashtagged Keywords: #MorningCrankers #TJWatt #SkydivingLegend #SoundBarrier #KingOfTheHill #DenmarkDefense #ForeignAidCuts #NPRBudget #PoisonMushroomCase #AustralianCrime #ComedyPodcast #NewsWithAttitude #DailyPodcast #CrankersCrewSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
On this unfiltered and chaotic July 10th edition of Morning Crankers, your favorite neon-fueled duo dives headfirst into the absurdity of todayâs headlines with humor, sarcasm, and a healthy dose of skepticism.đ„ First upâfederal workers are sounding the alarm, admitting theyâre âtoastâ amid rising public pressure, inefficiency scandals, and internal chaos. We break down what this bureaucratic breakdown really means for America.đ« Thenâin a scene straight out of a Cold War thriller, China allegedly fires a laser at a German spy plane over international waters. Is this a warning shot or the beginning of something far more dangerous?đŠ· Plusâa Czech family pleads guilty to running an illegal dental clinic out of their living room. Thatâs rightâroot canals by grandma and braces by flashlight. What could possibly go wrong?đŻ We also hit on:Government dysfunction at every levelStrange global flexing by superpowersThe return of rogue DIY medical schemesAnd our own wild takes on just how crazy the news cycle has gottenCome laugh, rage, and shake your head with us as we crank through the dayâs most outrageous stories.#MorningCrankers #ComedyPodcast #CurrentEvents #ChinaSpyPlane #FederalWorkers #GovernmentFail #IllegalDentist #CzechFamily #LaserAttack #TrueNewsComedy #SatiricalPodcast #BureaucracyGoneWild #WTFNews #UnlicensedDentistry #PodcastLife #PoliticalComedy #WorldEventsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Welcome to the July 7, 2025 episode of Morning Crankers, where comedy meets chaos and caffeine. Todayâs show dives headfirst into the bizarre, the infuriating, and the absolutely unbelievableâjust the way you like it.We kick things off with a mind-bending (and slightly horrifying) look at the rising presence of microplastics in semen and ovariesâyes, you read that right. What does this mean for humanity, health, and that water bottle youâve been sipping from?Next, we blast the political hypocrisy flooding out of Texas, where torrential rain isnât the only disasterâsome of the politicians' responses are downright shameful. Buckle up for some blue-collar truth bombs.Then it's milk. Just... milk. Why is it always at the center of controversy, conspiracy, and cafeteria trauma?We close out the episode with one of the most âLOL-WTF?â studies weâve come across: researchers claim kids today are less healthy than they were 20 years ago. We dig into whatâs changed, why it matters, and how many pushups your kid should be doing.Of course, itâs all wrapped in the Morning Crankers signature chaos, rants, laughs, and off-the-rails energy you know and love. #MorningCrankers #ComedyPodcast #CurrentEvents #Microplastics #TexasFlood #PoliticalHypocrisy #HealthNews #WeirdScience #MilkDebate #KidsHealth #ParentingPodcast #WTFNews #CaffeineFueled #July2025 #PodcastHumor #UnfilteredNews #BlueCollarTruth #TalkRadioVibes #CrankerChaos #ShockAndLaugh #FunnyPodcast #NewsWithHumor #AmericanPodcast #TrendingTopics #SocietyAndCultureSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Morning Crankers â July 4th Fireworks, Swamp Crotch, and Rescue MissionsDetailed Episode Description: Itâs the red, white, and ridiculous on this special July 4th edition of Morning Crankers! Join your favorite unapologetically raw morning duo as they crack into the chaos of Americaâs birthday â Cranker-style.First up, Greg's making his big, sweaty move to Wisconsin. Heâs hauling boxes, breaking backs, and getting one step closer to cheese curds and Packers fandom. We salute his sacrifice⊠but mostly roast it.Then thereâs The Big Beautiful Bill â no, not legislation, weâre talking about Bill himself, the real MVP of the barbecue world. Expect oversized laughs and questionable decisions.Next, we light the fuse on blue-collar wages going BOOM, as some folks finally start seeing decent paychecks in their tool belts. Of course, Crankers wouldn't be Crankers without asking: is it enough or just a firecracker in a thunderstorm?But wait â the TSAâs got hot crotch problems. Literally. A swamp-crotch-induced equipment malfunction at airport security brings new meaning to the phrase âexplosive situation.âAnd finally, in international absurdity: a Chinese college student needs to be rescued twice from the same mountain in four days. Thatâs right. Same mountain. Same guy. Double dumb.Itâs loud, it's hot, it smells like fireworks and bad decisions â itâs a Morning Crankers celebration of freedom, failure, and frying in the July heat.Hashtagged Keywords: #MorningCrankers #July4thShow #GregMovesToWisconsin #SwampCrotchCrisis #TSAFails #BigBeautifulBill #BlueCollarWages #LaborMarket2025 #AmericanComedy #CrankersUnfiltered #CollegeFails #ChinaRescueStory #PodcastHumor #ComedyPodcast #IndependenceDayMadness #FreedomAndFailure #AmericaUnhinged #SatireNews #PodcastOfThePeople #BarbecueBill #HilariousFails #4thOfJulyPodcast #UnfilteredComedy #WisconsinBoundSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
On this wild ride of Morning Crankers, we crank up the chaos with a mix of comedy, curiosity, and candid commentary. May 23rd brings us a stacked lineup: we kick off with todayâs National Days (and yes, we try to celebrate them all wrong). Then itâs onto a headline that defies belief â a woman missing for 60 years is found alive! From Earth to orbit, we cover Chinaâs space station discovering bacteria from outer space â what could possibly go wrong? Weâll also ruin your nap plans with the itchy truth about using someone else's pillow (spoiler: mites!). In Denmark, the retirement age gets pushed to 70 (ouch), and a disturbing story out of Texas reveals an 11-year-old calling 911 as his mother sets family pets on fire â heavy stuff, but we handle it with care and honest reactions. Finally, we lighten the load with a French townâs hilarious world record attempt: the most people dressed as Smurfs. Blue paint, mayhem, and pure Morning Crankers-style madness.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/morning-crankers-comedy-news-outrageous-real-life-stories--6463272/support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
In this outrageous episode of Morning Crankers, we dive headfirst into May 19th's National Days with our signature comedic twist, and we turn up the heat with our hilarious hit song, "Hotter Than a Possum's Armpit," featuring a special cameo by Bill from Curious Cars. But that's not all! We also break down the jaw-dropping story of a millionaire who won a $100,000 lawsuit in England after being falsely accused of skipping out on a lunch bill. Ever wondered what happens when a Japanese boy's obsession with his phone leads to "Dropping Head Syndrome?" We've got the bizarre details. Plus, the Mexican Navy takes on the Brooklyn Bridge in a way you wonât believe. Join us for wild laughs, unpredictable stories, and our trademark no-holds-barred comedy. Donât miss it!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/morning-crankers-comedy-news-outrageous-real-life-stories--6463272/support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Welcome to the first chaotic, hilarious, and wildly inappropriate episode of Dr. Crankerâs Comedy Clinic on Morning Crankers! In this outrageous skit, the infamous Dr. Cranker shares his top ten list of things you should absolutely NEVER stick in your butthole. From pineapples to live hamsters, fireworks to self-help books â Dr. Crankerâs dubious but hilarious medical advice will leave you laughing and cringing in equal measure. Tune in for comedy thatâs a little bit twisted, a little bit wild, and absolutely unforgettable!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/morning-crankers-comedy-news-outrageous-real-life-stories--6463272/support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Get ready for a wild ride on today's Morning Crankers! We kick off with a hilarious performance of our brand-new song "Big Trailer Booty," bringing the laughs and the rhythm you crave. Then, we dive into some jaw-dropping stories from around the world: archaeologists uncover a 2,000-year-old weapons hoard, a swarm of mosquitoes fills an entire plane, and a United Nations Judge is convicted for owning a slave from Uganda. The madness doesnât stop thereâwe cover the heart-pounding story of a missing Missouri juvenile found in Colorado and the twisted tale of a woman who poisons her significant other's lover and kids. Tune in for laughs, shockers, and unforgettable moments you wonât want to miss!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/morning-crankers-comedy-news-outrageous-real-life-stories--6463272/support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Dive into another wildly entertaining episode of Morning Crankers, where today we explore the deep blue and beyond! We kick things off with a look at the National Days you didn't know you needed to celebrate. Then, we plunge into the bizarre world of sharks, including some of the weirdest species you've never heard of and the shocking claim that influencers are causing a rise in shark attacks! But that's not allâdiscover how dolphins are getting high on puffer fish and why this underwater escapade is more than just fishy business. We also bust 10 common misconceptions that you've probably believed your whole life. Plus, we proudly introduce Dr. Cranker, our newest expert in wild and wacky knowledge. It's a tidal wave of fun, facts, and freakish stories you don't want to miss!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/morning-crankers-comedy-news-outrageous-real-life-stories--6463272/support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
On this May 2nd episode of Morning Crankers, chaos reigns supremeâfrom crime-trained animals pulling off petty thefts to a man literally sneezing his guts out over breakfast (talk about a bad start to the day). We dig into the shocking #1 box office hit "Sinners", dissect why Revenge of the Sith might be getting its long-awaited revenge 20 years later, and explore the murky past of Operation Mockingbird and its ties to Stuccimedia.com. Plus, we unearth the ancient hell ant (yes, thatâs a real thing), celebrate todayâs National Days, and ask why no one is safeânot even your cereal. Itâs weird, itâs wild, itâs wonderfully Cranked.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/morning-crankers-comedy-news-outrageous-real-life-stories--6463272/support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Buckle up for the wild ride that is Morning Crankers, May 1st edition! We dive into the chaotic brilliance of Tom Hardyâs gritty new Netflix flick Havoc, preview the epic crossover clash with the new Alien vs Predator movie, and ask the question nobody else will: Why are people getting turned on by their air fryers?! Plus, we fetch some laughs with a canine surfing competition thatâll have your tail wagging, explore how Jobu became the unexpected lucky charm for the St. Louis Blues, and unpack the sweet insanity of Detroitâs annual marshmallow drop. Itâs unpredictable, unfiltered, and 100% Cranked.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/morning-crankers-comedy-news-outrageous-real-life-stories--6463272/support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
On today's episode of Morning Crankers, chaos reigns supreme! We kick off with a rundown of today's National Days before diving headfirst into some of the most absurdly hilarious news you won't believe is real. First up, the "Dirty Diddler" shocks the courtroom by turning down a plea deal. Then we flap into the insane case of a woman convicted of killing her husband â thanks to a parrotâs testimony! We also talk about a man who torches his mother's house over money (hint: itâs not for bills), and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers signing a 464-pound defensive tackle that's breaking both records and scales. Plus, we sprinkle in a buffet of absurdly funny headlines from around the world. If you need a laugh today, Morning Crankers has you covered!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/morning-crankers-comedy-news-outrageous-real-life-stories--6463272/support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
On todayâs episode of Morning Crankers, we serve up a wild platter of news, laughs, and pure chaos! We break down the latest drama surrounding the NFL Draft and give our hilarious take on Shedeur Sanders facing some serious heat at the NFL roast. We also dive underground â literally â as we explore the secretive world of a Colorado Springs underground club that's making headlines. In more bizarre news, a Milwaukee judge finds himself behind bars (for real), a priceless piece of abstract artwork gets destroyed (whoops!), and Cuba launches a futuristic twist with a new restaurant run by robots! Grab your coffee, your sarcasm helmet, and tune in for your favorite daily dose of Crankers madness!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/morning-crankers-comedy-news-outrageous-real-life-stories--6463272/support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Get your satirical shades onâMorning Crankers just dropped their most unapologetically hilarious original song yet: Made in CHINA, Paid in Blood. This punchy parody track tears into consumer culture, global trade irony, and the glorious absurdity of buying cheap while paying the moral premium. With savage lyrics, explosive humor, and Johnny Bravo-level bravado, this tune roasts the modern marketplace while keeping the beat loud and the satire louder. Perfect for anyone whoâs ever rolled their eyes at the label on their phone, shirt, or lawn flamingo.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/morning-crankers-comedy-news-outrageous-real-life-stories--6463272/support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Itâs a full-on Crankers Friday, and this episode is melting like a stolen block of cheddar! We dive headfirst into the mystery of $400,000 worth of cheese vanishing from Neal's Dairy (yes, cheese crime is real). Then things get spicy as we uncover the tale of Joan of Leedsâa medieval nun who said "no more nun for me" and faked her death to go chase a little... fun. In other insane headlines: a live hand grenade is found inside a chip factory in China (thatâs some explosive crunch), and we debate the eternal questionâhow much should you really be tipping? We also run down April 25 National Days, including Hug a Plumber Day, because letâs face it⊠those heroes deserve it. Plus, donât miss our list of the top things to do in the Ozarks this weekendâfrom hillbilly hikes to catfish cook-offs, weâve got your weekend locked and loaded. Itâs weird. Itâs wild. Itâs Morning Crankers at its Friday best. đđïžđ§Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/morning-crankers-comedy-news-outrageous-real-life-stories--6463272/support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Love is in the air... and so is the scent of questionable cologne and wild Ozark flowers! Spring Time LOVE is the newest original comedy storytelling song from Morning Crankers, bringing you a skunky spin on spring romance. This toe-tapping tale follows a hopelessly romantic skunk and his sassy woodland crush in a Pepe Le Pew-style pursuit through the backwoods. Itâs awkward, itâs adorable, itâs pheromone-filled mayhem! Packed with flirty lyrics, cartoon chaos, and that unmistakable Crankers humor, this track is the rom-com spoof the spring season didnât know it needed.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/morning-crankers-comedy-news-outrageous-real-life-stories--6463272/support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Pour one out for your broken heart and belly laugh with Can I Hold You Again?, a teary-eyed yet side-splitting comedy song from the lovable lunatics at Morning Crankers. Itâs the anthem for every soft-hearted romantic who's ever ugly-cried to a breakup text, sent that late-night âu up?â message, or tried cuddling a body pillow with a name. Dripping with fake sincerity and real hilarity, this track hilariously flips heartbreak on its head with parody lyrics, dramatic vocals, and all the cringe of love gone sideways. Grab your tissues... mostly for tears of laughter!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/morning-crankers-comedy-news-outrageous-real-life-stories--6463272/support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.