My Name is Weezer

Before sailing off into the sunset, Jen and Patrick discuss Weezer's super-low energy performance behind the Tiny Desk and determine once and for all: which is the better record, Blue or Pinkerton?

Notorious squares Jen and Patrick stay out past their bedtimes to see Weezer tribute band Weezerton rock out the famous Viper Room. Luckily, Rachel is there to lend a little old school rock scene cred.

After ten months of silence, Jen and Patrick return with a NUMBERED LIST of things to talk about. One of those numbers? Weezer's biggest hit ever isn't even one of their songs. Weezer's cover of Africa by Toto is everywhere, and now it's even on this podcast! Plus, a Weezerton show in Fullerton! Another Weezer podcast! Toto covering Hashpipe! The Song Exploder about Summer Elaine and Drunk Dori! California Snow! The Rivers Cuomo solo tune Medicine for Melancholy!

"Once upon a time, I, Chuang Chou, dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. I was conscious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that I was Chou. Soon I awaked, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man." --Patrick reading River's Cuomo quoting Zhuang. Somehow this all relates to a new Weezer record. Jen and Patrick return from their extended recess to process the two new singles off the forthcoming Pacific Daydream. Not hearing guitar solos, but those lyrics are the right kind of dumb.

Hold on to your regularly-washed butts, Jen and Patrick are back to weigh in on the newest Green Day record on their podcast that is only ever about Weezer (and things directly related to Weezer)! It’s an historic episode-recording falling squarely the Chicago Cubs World Series win and the 2016 Presidential election, so naturally they talk a lot about dog farts. Green Day’s slick but meaningless political record puts both Jen and Patrick into kind of a funk - can they get out it? ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT.

Jen asked Patrick to go to the Green Day concert. He said “sure.” Not only did that ruin the “El Scorcho” joke, he didn’t even go. Whatever man! Who wants to go to a 4:30 PM concert anyway? (1:00 in the morning or GTFO.) Plus! Jen and Patrick talk about the Deluxe Edition of the White album featuring “I Love the USA”, a remix of “Jacked Up” and two new songs! Man, that I Love the USA is a weird song, huh? Ripping guitar solo though.

Jen and Patrick close out their series of conversations about movies-with-Weezer-songs-on-the-soundtrack with the 1995 classic: Mallrats. True to tradition, they are joined by one of their friends -- actor and comedian Joe Gehart -- to sort through all the casual 90s misogyny. They discuss their own hometown malls, whether we could tell which was the real nipple, and the best practices for actually getting a gerbil (or hamster or mouse) up your butt. PLUS, Joe’s got a solution for homelessness in Los Angeles and everyone loves Jay and Silent Bob. Snoogans.

First thing’s first: Pinkerton has gone platinum! After heaping praise on the little record that could, Jen and Patrick turn their attention to the difficult task of making 10-song playlists from the 2000s. That’s Green, Maladroit, Make Believe, Red, Raditude, Hurley, boiled down into one Weezer-record sized playlist. How’d they do? Are their lists too similar? PLUS, they both have surprises for each other and, in turn, for you!

Jen and Patrick are beset on all sides by maladies! Patrick’s getting over a cold and Jen’s got a little bit of a tummy ache. Plus, she’s suffering from some weekend jet-jag and gradually gets more sleepy as the show progresses. But there are topics to discuss! Topics like Brian Bell’s side project, The Relationship, and their 2009 eponymous (that’s a synonym for “self titled,” but has a different meaning than “titular”) record. It’s kind of a snooze! Afterwards Jen and Patrick move on to the almost entirely-nonsense driven new Weezer single “I Love the USA.” At least there’s a bitchin’ guitar solo in there, right?

Back in 1999, the first -- and to date, only -- Homie song was released. Sure, the song may have been buried behind two other credits songs at the end of Disney’s failed foray into the goofy surfer buddy comedy genre, Meet the Deedles staring Paul Walker and Steve Van Wormer. But no reference to Weezer is too obscure for My Name is Weezer hosts Jen and Patrick, and no Fast and Furious reference too obscure for their friend, and hilarious comedian, Fadl Saadi. Find out if any of them are monkey experts and just how many times Patrick will let them say “p-dog.”

It’s time for adventures in the sorta-suburbs as Jen and Patrick take the 5 freeway down to Huntington Beach for the Rockstar Beer Festival, featuring beer (obviously) and Weezer tribute band - Weezerton. This episode is not for the faint of heart as there’s honest-to-God dog vomiting on it. Plus, Jen and Patrick discuss their plans for their five-year anniversary show (#WeaselBat) and their experiences with the outdoor festivals of their collective youths. So grab a strawberry meade or a macadamia nut stout, get ready to mosh with Dogder Man: we’re seeing Weezerton!

After an upsetting conversation about slurping, Jen and Patrick slurp some ramen and catch up on life, love and Weezer. Between slurps, they discuss this weekend’s Weezerton concert (again), Pokemon Go (also again) and lines from movies that just aren’t jokes. Plus, see what happens when two people realize that they’re having a regular-ass conversation on mic. It’s not called gyNICEstics! #Slurping

LA-10s Jen and Patrick apply their expertise of all things Weezer to clown princes of 90’s pop punk, Blink 182. It’s clean production, catchy choruses and an avalanche stupid jokes (and not just from your hosts). Plus, Patrick flashes back to high school for a follow-up on that story of teenage love and heartbreak that started in the Green episode.

On July 20th, 2016, Smash Mouth played a free show at The Grove shopping center in Los Angeles. What does that have to do with Weezer? Jen and Patrick aren’t quite sure, but it sounds like an ironic good time, right? SomeBODY could have told them that it’s not a whole lot of fun to see four washed-up rockers playing hits from 30 years ago. (All comparisons to Weezer, however obvious, are ignored.) Things get weird when Patrick thinks Jen’s toes might have tongues and autocorrect insists on screaming “SMASHMOUTH.” Plus, remember The Monkees? Rivers Cuomo wrote a song for them -- again, yes in 2016 -- called “She Makes Me Laugh” and your hosts discuss the relative merits of good, clean, poppy fun.

There are no surprises left in the world: Ryan Mogge crashes the ‘cast to help bonehead Weezer fans Jen and Patrick talk about Angus, the movie featuring a miserable fat teen and at least one (arguably two) Weezer songs. The discuss bullying and social strata in their own high school experiences before shouting about who among them is the worst feminist. Plus, “it’d be weird if you fucked your own grandpa” and an answer to the question “what would you do if you kissed someone and their mouth tasted like a candle?”

Here it is, everybody: this is Jen and Patrick at maximum friendship! Your hosts are united by the amazing shared experience of going to a Weezer concert at the beautiful Troubadour in West Hollywood. They review 16 precious minutes of audio from that evening, documenting the greatest friendship the world has ever known. Plus, Jen doesn’t want to wear her fan club shirt and Patrick is weird about money.

A podcast event two years in the making: Jen and Patrick finally get to the main event, the impetus for the whole show: discussing Weezer’s ninth record, Everything Will Be Alright in the End. Along the way, they’ll discussing mourning doves, relationships with fathers, and how weird it is to be constantly revising and refining their opinions. No live shit, no bonus tracks, no Rentals - this is ALL WEEZER BABY.

Jen and Patrick have some clean-up to do, and that means discussing a compilation record, a Japanese side project and the latest from The Rentals. Patrick identifies some accidental themes in a record that clearly doesn’t have them and Jen speculates about a witch named Trampoline. Your asks pose the vital question “is China Japan?” Plus an argument about musicals and a mind-blowing discovery about the video for 1000 Seasons. Oh, and I guess they do some impressions and silly voices - it is MY NAME IS WEEZER, after all.

Jen and Patrick do whatever they can to avoid talking about Hurley! But only for so long - then it’s right down to discussing FOMO, Voting, Evanescence, Rage Against the Machine, lists of women’s names, digital collating and credit card fraud. Oh and Hurley, I guess. Plus, these bonus tracks are rad AF - including a 90 second song about insects from Yo Gabba Gabba and a River-y version of Cold Play’s Viva La Vida. And then they round it out with some Rentals talk. Rentals! And they listen to Patrick’s LOST band, Sonic Weapon Fence!

In light of last week’s neg-fest, Jen and Patrick decide it’s time to treat themselves to a little positivity. FOR ONCE. They discuss the two compilation albums that reminded mid-00s Weezer fans that there was maybe still something to love about these Raditude-spewing monsters. Patrick took notes, so you know he won’t shut up about that. Get the stories behind the songs…as relayed to you by two idiots that are probably misunderstanding the wiki. Plus a deep dissection of 17 seconds of children talking about ax guitars.