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My Opening Line

Author: My Opening Line, Starburns Audio

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Hosts Keith and Chemda (of Keith and The Girl) ask comedian friends and performers about their first time on stage. Listen to popular comics telling embarrassing stories of their first performances as they share some of their most terrible opening lines, awkward executions, and epic fails.
46 Episodes
Whether it’s starring in commercials, acting in voiceover work, entertaining an audience through improv, written sketches, or songs, Katharine Heller is as well-rounded an artist as they come.  But she’s on this show now, so you know you’re about to hear about her insane beginnings. This time The Beginnings include an artistically jealous and competitive father and, unrelated, unknowingly eating male ejaculation on stage. Enjoy. Not the ejaculation. I mean this episode.
After her first stand-up experience (at an open mic night while plastered), Andrea Allan still knew she wanted to perform stand-up comedy. After a roast battle (where she bombed on stage while literally being completely naked), she still knew she wanted to perform stand-up comedy. After this and that (all heartbreaking and jaw-dropping), she still knew she bla bla bla. Despite established creeps and verified assholes, she’s come out the other side with her debut album and a skill and presence like no other.
From putting together a bringer show of 60 people to performing multiple times on late night TV, Lenny Marcus covers the highs and lows of his decades in comedy, including his first televised standup show and writing for SNL’s Leslie Jones. And find out why he wouldn’t do it all over again.
42: Dave Hill's First Time

42: Dave Hill's First Time


Whether it’s stand-up, TV, books, or music, Dave Hill’s fun and quirky personality has branched out into so many avenues of comedy and art. Dave talks about self-doubt, believing in yourself, and what Twitter called his permanent ban. Spoiler: the last involves your mother.
41: Chemda's First Time

41: Chemda's First Time


It’s all fun and games until Chemda’s in the hot seat. It’s the greatest singing voice Keith has ever heard, and Keith wants to know how it formed, how Chemda discovered it, and the places it took her. From famed producers and albums to worldwide tours, Chemda shares with us the highs of her musical career as well as the lows of creeps and how singing affected her life and family.
We delve into how innocuous childhood situations shape an artist in the biggest ways as Mike Cannon covers the George Carlin line that changed his life (spoiler: it involves an anchovy’s cunt), how club owners abuse their performers, barking for stage time, and instigating hecklers.
Comic and actress Jessie Jolles joins us to talk about her start and rise in entertainment from her childhood performances to being the spokesperson for major TV commercials and the wide-spread success of her web series It's a Date! She gets vulnerable as she shares her family dynamic including being directed by her actor/comic brother, getting over panic attacks and becoming comfortable with herself, and dealing with success and self-worth – all while being amazingly hilarious and delightful.
From his big break in The Music Man to being a multiple Emmy and Peabody award winner, Josh Gondelman regales us with stories on his school musical triumph, teaching pre-school, his first time on stage, his late night stand-up debut on Conan, and his writing/producing career that includes HBO’s Last Week Tonight with John Oliver and now Showtime’s Desus and Mero.
Actor, writer, and producer Dan Hartley shares his career stories including his first stage performance at age 10, humiliating himself in front of Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, and being his own stunt man on Law & Order: SVU. The gang discusses how to be yourself, how to sit on the toilet without a phone, and the implications of personal sex tapes. Be nice to waiters.
36: Sean Patton's First Time

36: Sean Patton's First Time


Whether it's being born in The Big Easy (New Orleans), talking about his bathroom habits (wiping with dryer sheets), performing his first set (after drinking half a pitcher of Jack and Coke), working as a professional dog walker (only to have a client's dog murder a stranger's dog on a walk), or finally giving stand-up its due (a month after 9/11), Sean Patton’s journey is informative, hilarious, and some third thing. He shares with you his life lessons and the twists and turns that led to him being a successful comedian that included appearances on Fallon, Conan, Showtime, IFC, and his own Comedy Central special.
Comments (5)

Lisa Lawson

10 NEON 20.18. GOD

Jan 18th

the RE:cast

would love to be a guest

Nov 25th

elijah david

love this one

Oct 28th

Liban Hussein


Oct 24th

Kiara Tooley

Liban Hussein hello. how are you today

Oct 25th
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