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© PATRICK MELTON
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For over FIFTEEN YEARS, Nobody Likes Onions has been making audiences laugh at the absurd, the obvious, and the wrong. Comedian Patrick Melton, along with other entertainers from around the world, gather around microphones three times a week to present their unique observations and opinions about current events, pop culture, and real-world experiences in their personal lives.
580 Episodes
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Aaron Imholte has ruined April Anderson, the simple Minnesota farm girl he plucked from a factory while cheating on his pregnant wife. And now that April's prime years have been sucked away, and her innocence and self-esteem have been pummeled by the internet and her once-loving husband. Did drugs and copious amounts of dangerous unprotected sex with swingers cause April to run for the hills? Only time will tell, as Mooby lets his resentment fester and leak out through his narcissistic holes. The beginning of the end has been sweet so far, but Mooby's pride and narcissism are just ramping up and it won't be long until he starts trashing his former blonde princess. ...
It's Friday and it's been another banger of a week in the Steel Toe universe. Watching Aaron Imholte slowly come to terms with his life partner rejecting his savior-syndrome insanity. April Imholte is wandering the streets with a resume featuring nothing but some valve-painting experience and a giant gap of employment. Perhaps the rehab completion certificate will garner her some sympathy. Jesse PS is apparently very upset at Patrick and trying to inflict some kind of wrath by manufacturing some version of the truth that works for him. Mersh removes a show from Rumble after an embarrassing night of streaming and proclamations about designing some long-game masterplan to teach Aaron a lesson, when is reality it was nothing but an emotional response to Podawful clowning one of his main allies. ...
Aaron Imhote has tossed April Imholte to the wolves, letting her start her life over and reclaim her once-promising future in the stark Minnesota landscape. April Anderson is out looking for work, wondering where the next chapter of her life will take her. But will the habits and hauntings of the past make things difficulte for her to forge ahead? You decide. ...
Somewhere in Minnesota, April Imholte is waking up from a bad dream. A bad dream that has lasted nearly four years, and cost her some of the best prime time she has on this earth. Aaron is dancing around celebrating his newfound single status as low-key as he can until the ink is dry on the divorce papers. What's next for Aaron and April? Patrick has some court documents that could help shed some light on the future, and we'd love your theories on the downfall of Minesota's most hated radio duo. Is April Anderson in rehab for drug addiction? Did Aaron Imholte sit idly by while another man ruined his attempt at a second family? What can we learn from all of this? Happy Friday, nerds! ...
The melting mountain meh-scape of Minnesota insulates Aaron Imholte and his untalented slag wife from facts and information, and it shows on the latest iterations of the Steel Toe Morning Show. Aaron Imholte is throwing daily tantrums and cascades of cope about Patrick and the rest of his detractors now, obsessing over Melton and Hackamania and other stuff he wishes he could be involved in. Aaron feels lost without his woman and his mentor Mersh to guide his show. Watch as he continues to tell you how well he is doing, and how he's miles ahead of any perceived competition. Patrick received a message from a comedian that is very charged and threatening, and maybe we should look in to this internet tough man and draw some conclusions! ...
INT. BASEMENT - MORNING. The Steel Toe Morning Show starring Aaron Imholte and his sideshow freaks has been on air for 28 minutes and something goes horribly wrong. Come watch a man with MS crumble to the ground before our very eyes. Someone remind me - does MS stand for MUCH SENSITIVE? Nobody ever thought Johnny had talent, a personality, or even a voice for the radio, but we have always left the little crutch critter alone. Out of the darkness steps the most unlikely hero in Mersh, who fires a shot across the crippled bow of Krunchman that lands with such precision that it shall be talked about henceforth! Behold as the second cohost in as many months runs from the broadcast in tears, only to return and do it again TWO MORE TIMES before Mooby waves the white flag, declares the internet a bunch of meanies, and loses another wrestling match with his conscious over which of his stupid friends to side with. One thing is becoming very clear - Mooby better learn to fly solo! ...
INT. BASEMENT - MORNING. The Steel Toe Morning Show starring Aaron Imholte and his sideshow freaks has been on air for 28 minutes and something goes horribly wrong. Come watch a man with MS crumble to the ground before our very eyes. Someone remind me - does MS stand for MUCH SENSITIVE? Nobody ever thought Johnny had talent, a personality, or even a voice for the radio, but we have always left the little crutch critter alone. Out of the darkness steps the most unlikely hero in Mersh, who fires a shot across the crippled bow of Krunchman that lands with such precision that it shall be talked about henceforth! Behold as the second cohost in as many months runs from the broadcast in tears, only to return and do it again TWO MORE TIMES before Mooby waves the white flag, declares the internet a bunch of meanies, and loses another wrestling match with his conscious over which of his stupid friends to side with. One thing is becoming very clear - Mooby better learn to fly solo! ...
We'd be ignoring our civic duty if we didn't bring your daily dose of Aaron Imholte coping about his missing wife April Imholte, and losing his mind over his haters and the goal. How long will this guy continue to spaz out at the very people that support him and his insane fantasy to be behind a microphone for a living. Glitter and Lasers heads out on the water to see if she can float. What happens when a fat girl at sea can't fit in to the bathroom? I know a bunch of fish and sea turtles that don't want to find out. The chat determines what kind of fat is acceptable and we coin a new term, "normal fat." We take Training Tuesday back to where it started with a visit to America's most dangerous breakfast spot, Waffle House. ...
Another week and another round of half-hearted attempts at improving a crumbling program. Aaron Imholte is at a loss without his lady and he's winning so much, and his show is growing so well that he is changing things left and right. Patrick always says nothing is funnier than when a lolcow actually tries to do something, and last nights Members Only program from the Steel Toe whatever show minus April Imholte. Mersh has a new clipper that expertly captured a recent meltdown from the poor Florida streamer. Is Summer Sinclair trying to get fame or just a few dollars from her recent appearance in a couple of fake reality viral videos. Who makes this kind of crap content and how did they find Summer? ...
Patrick is here on a Friday night to continue watching the appearance of Jesse PS from PodAwful as he attempts to navigate the muddy waters of St.Cloud Minnesota. Jesse mostly plays with Aaron, trolling him with confusing narratives about Opie and Anthony and his missing wife. Aside from hammering Aaron with the same truth bombs that the rest of the internet has been screaming at the weak-chinned non-man for over a year. Let's watch a troll mess with a man who thinks he is beyond trolling and see what happens. ...
Join Patrick for a late night catch up show, where Patrick apologizes for his inconsistent schedule due to a lot of the logistical stuff going on with Hackamania. Is Bob Levy on the outs with the Shuli network? Is this just another work to fool Kevin Brennan in to showing his spiteful nature? Is BOB solo now or is he looking for new partners? Kevin Brennan gets another year older, but his cold sore is still under two months young. Aaron Imholte is definitely coping witha new single life, and fantasizes about teaming up with Patrick for shows and even absconding to Las Vegas to Hackamania. Will Mooby have the balls to show? ...
Patrick is recovering from a headache that could choke a donkey. That doesn't mean anything. Don't overthink it. Let's check out the latest version of MLC and try to figure out what this show has become. It's the last day of April and we need to make our nut. There's four squares left on the wall and daddy needs to hit the goal! Stuttering John and Kate Meaney are on a fantasy world where Patrick is about to get arrested for some imagined crime at any moment. John is wasted and has seems to have pink eye from wiping with his hands before snacking. We check out the imagined new jobs for April Imholte aka April Anderson now that she's out of the Steel Toe business. ...
Aaron Imholte can't stop declaring himself a winner over and over again. After a hard drive crash, a lack of backups, and little-to-no technical knowledge, the Minnesota luddite tries to get a show going with Keanu for almost forty-five minutes. We take a closer look at Aaron and April Imholte and their friendships with other streamers. There's a new Mersh clipper in town, and he's arrived at just ther right time. Things are not going well over at Captain Fatty's Kitten Castle, and he's taken to yelling at sponsors and his godfathers at Rumble about his treatment and his recent stress about paying taxes. For a winner, Mersh certainly is always in constant financial panic. ...
We are really doing it, and this is the truth. I have seen the mystery clouded by a greedy sleuth. We are in the trenches, the wildlings are on the mend. Come with me to NLO town, take my hand, good friend. Aaron Imholte convinces himself he isn't a bad guy, he might have lost his edge, and so much more nonsense.
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Happy FRIDAY! Join Patrick in putting a tight bow on this weeks mayhem. We have an art contest today, and it's sure to make KC Armstrong squirm in his pantaloons! We want to see your best homo-erotic interpretation of KC Armstrong from the Howard Stern show - whether he's dolled up with nowhere to go, or lounging around with the "boys," we want to see it. Michael Ray Bower has been putting out no content and wants the haters to know he is killing it. What is this delusion that once "kind-of-celebs" have that makes them thing they have the clout and skills to be big stars today? ...
It's been weeks since we've checked in on Uncle Kevin Brennan, Neal Brenann's less successful brother and once-wannabe wacky physical comic. Kevin's podcast is entering a new phase. The self-production and lack of punctuality were already causing fans to become irritable, but how will the new crop of MLC clueless comics fare in the colosseum that is the MLC revolving door. Let's watch Kevin Brennan go over weeks-old clips and renew his anger while regurgitating stories to one of the most giggly, fake-laughing open mic-stresses that has slid across the NLO console in quite awhile. Come taunt this mans wife! ...
Patrick is back this morning to go over some of the last bits of information gathered surrounding the Steel Toe Morning Show demise, it's crumbling, and reflections about what this means for the future of this Minnesota couple. Michael Ray Bower aka Donkeylips has left his house and, while waddling around, informs the public about some recent occurrences in his life, as well as how he's too smart to fall for free computer scams from haters who might be fans but are bad people. It's hard to decipher. ...
Come on, feel the noise! Girls rock those boys! Let's get wild wild wild! Come on down for a wrap up of the weekend to see wha'ts crackin' daddy-o! ...
A new theory has emerged in the April Anderson saga as we try to uncover what happend that led to the downfall of the marriage and on-air partnership at Steel Toe Morning Show. Aaron marches on with his show, without a plan or the confidence to admit it's not going well. If there were a prize for constantly changing your panic to confidence and vice-versa, Aaron Imholte would win hands down. And where is April Imholte aka April Anderson from Litchfield? Is she running around town trying to get hired while rumors of drug abuse and sexual impropriety swirl? Or is she locked away in a facility, sucking down Suboxone like a used-up witch? The winds of Minnesota have not been kind to this simple and very racist couple. Why is Aaron running around town singing and dancing and flirting openly with other women? Does Kiki want to be in the middle of this tumultuous relationship? ...
Patrick is fresh off a full day of productivity and chair shopping, and the butts at Hackamania are going to appreciate the dedication to comfort and quality. Some of our discord dorks have uncovered a playlist made by April Imholte Anderson, and four days ago she was updating it with new songs like Someone Like You by Adele. Watch and Moody calls in to walk us through a sonic journey of sadness, chronicling the events and feelings that led up to April leading the show, and we see if her choice of songs, and the metadata around her playlist, can help us decipher her plans for the future. Spoiler alert - it's not looking good for this Minnesota mis-matched couple. ...
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