Neon Brainiacs (A Retro Horror Movie Podcast)

You are who you eat. A patron pick episode from patron "writhe"! A stranded military unit in 1840s California faces a terrifying truth when a mysterious visitor reveals a tale of cannibalism. When hunger takes hold, humanity is the first thing to go. This week we cover the 1999 cult classic RAVENOUS. Also this week: Lance isn't impressed by restaurants, David Arquette's WCW drama,  and our Ravenous Evanescence Remix. All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS! "Bon appétit." ----- Check out our Patreon for tons of bonus content, exclusive goodies, and access to our Discord server! ----- Ravenous (1999) Directed by Antonia Bird Written by Ted Griffin Starring Robert Carlyle, Guy Pearce, Jeffrey Jones, Jeremy Davies, Neal McDonough, and David Arquette ----- 00:00 - Intro & Opening Banter 37:20 - "The Shpiel" 01:00:18 - Film Breakdown 01:46:48 - The Brain Bucket & Outro

They're Coming! A patron pick episode from patron "Fush Yu Schlong"! A remote Alaskan town is plunged into darkness for a month, making it the perfect hunting ground for a savage group of vampires. The survivors must find a way to outlast the blood-soaked darkness. This week we're doing 2007's 30 DAYS OF NIGHT. Also this week: BIG Pittsburgh Hardees news, "E-Bens", and how Lance likes to eat his Muffins. All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS! "God? ... No God." ----- Check out our Patreon for tons of bonus content, exclusive goodies, and access to our Discord server! ----- 30 Days of Night (2007) Directed by David Slade Written by Steve Niles, Stuart Beattie, and Brian Nelson Starring Josh Hartnett, Melissa George, Danny Huston, Mark Boone Junior, and Ben Foster ----- 00:00 - Intro & Opening Banter 26:40 - "The Shpiel" 48:35 - Film Breakdown 01:45:25 - The Brain Bucket & Outro

One was not enough! A young boy named Joshua tries to save his family from vegetarian goblins in the town of Nilbog, who transform humans into plants to devour them. Guided by the ghost of his grandfather, Joshua battles the goblin queen and her minions in this cult classic known for its bizarre plot and famously bad acting. That's right! To celebrate 8 years of the show (and one year since The Hardee's Boys took over), we are doing everyone's favorite best worst movie: 1990's TROLL 2. Also this week: Listener favorite episodes from the past year, Lance's Mac and Cheese dinos, and you'll never hear Ralph Nader's name the same way again All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS! "They're eating her! And then they're going to eat me... OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" ----- Check out our Patreon for tons of bonus content, exclusive goodies, and access to our Discord server! ----- Troll 2 (1990) Directed by Claudio Fragasso Written by Claudio Fragasso & Rossella Drudi Starring Michael Paul Stephenson, George Hardy, Connie Young, Robert Ormsby, and Deborah Reed ----- 00:00 - Intro & Opening Banter 27:50 - "The Shpiel" 47:07 - Film Breakdown 01:48:22 - Stump The Brainiacs & Outro

  This time he's coming to a different kind of jungle. In a sweltering, crime-ridden Los Angeles, a relentless alien hunter stalks the city’s most dangerous criminals and law enforcement. A determined detective finds himself in a deadly game of cat and mouse as he uncovers the creature’s terrifying purpose. BPO's Blake O'Donnell returns to to help us wrap up Action August with 1990's PREDATOR 2. Also this week: Cracked vs Mad Magazine, Danny Glover's billowy pants, and Predator munchin' beef. All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS! "S*** happens." ----- Check out our Patreon for tons of bonus content, exclusive goodies, and access to our Discord server! ----- Predator 2 (1990) Directed by Stephen Hopkins Written by Jim Thomas & John Thomas Starring Danny Glover, Gary Busey, Bill Paxton, and Kevin Peter Hall ----- 00:00 - Intro & Opening Banter 15:46 - "The Shpiel" 44:05 - Film Breakdown 1:54:48 - Brain Bucket & Outro        

An immortal battle for supremacy. A centuries-old war between vampires and werewolves escalates when a mysterious outsider becomes the key to a powerful transformation, and one soldier uncovers a truth that could end their eternal conflict. Next up for Action August is the oh-so-2003 UNDERWORLD. Also this week: Guessing the plots of the XXX movies, "late summer vibes", and Lance recommends a great lozenge. All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS! "What's... this... ruckus?" ----- Check out our Patreon for tons of bonus content, exclusive goodies, and access to our Discord server! ----- Underworld (2003) Directed by Len Wiseman Written by Kevin Grevioux, Len Wiseman, & Danny McBride Starring Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Michael Sheen, and Bill Nighy ----- 00:00 - Intro & Opening Banter 31:30 - "The Shpiel" 56:07 - Film Breakdown 01:49:25 - Stump The Brainiacs & Outro

One night is all that stands between them and freedom. But it's going to be a hell of a night. Action August continues with 1996's FROM DUSK TILL DAWN. Two fugitives take a family hostage and force them to drive to a remote bar in Mexico. Once there, they must all fight for survival when the bar’s patrons reveal themselves to be bloodthirsty vampires. Also this week: Childhood pranks, we remember the band Godsmack exists, and is Ben a "Beach guy"? Warning: Lots of Tarantino impressions. All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS! "Why, out of all the God-forsaken s---holes in Mexico, do we have to meet here?" ----- Check out our Patreon for tons of bonus content, exclusive goodies, and access to our Discord server! ----- From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) Directed by Robert Rodriguez Written by Quentin Tarantino Starring George Clooney, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Keitel, Juliette Lewis, and Salma Hayek ----- 00:00 - Intro & Opening Banter 32:32 - "The Shpiel" 51:00 - Film Breakdown 01:41:15 - Brain Bucket & Outro

  Survive the Horror. A new month! A new theme! Action August explodses with 2002's RESIDENT EVIL. A viral outbreak in a high-tech subterranean lab unleashes a horde of infected zombies, forcing a tactical response team to fight through deadly traps and mutated horrors. Amnesiac Alice discovers her tie to the experiment and the malevolent AI controlling it. Also this week: The movie's George Romero connection,  whats wrong with the slogan "New Look Same Great Taste!", and questionable Milla Jovovich impressions, All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS! "You're all going to die down here." ----- Check out our Patreon for tons of bonus content, exclusive goodies, and access to our Discord server! ----- Resident Evil (2002) Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson Written by Paul W.S. Anderson Starring Milla Jovovich, Eric Mabius, Martin Crewes, Colin Salmon, and Michelle Rodriguez ----- 00:00 - Intro & Opening Banter 23:41 - "The Shpiel" 48:30 - Film Breakdown 01:39:32 - Stump The Brainiacs & Outro    

Welcome to Crystal Lake. Summer Slasher month concludes with the 2009 remake of FRIDAY THE 13TH. Jason Voorhees returns to terrorize a group of young people at Crystal Lake, turning their trip into a deadly nightmare as Clay’s hunt for his sister leads him straight into Jason’s deadly domain. Also this week: Drops doesnt like Tony Hawk, Lance and Ben share a big pretzel, and the eternal question is asked: Just where does Jason Voorhees poop? All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS! "Kill for Mother..." ----- Check out our Patreon for tons of bonus content, exclusive goodies, and access to our Discord server! ----- Friday The 13th (2009) Directed by Marcus Nispel Written by Damian Shannon & Mark Swift Starring Jared Padalecki, Danielle Panabaker, Amanda Righetti, Travis Van Winkle, and Derek Mears ----- 00:00 - Intro & Opening Banter 31:44 - "The Shpiel" 47:22 - Film Breakdown 01:57:35 - Stump The Brainiacs & Outro      

In 1946 this man killed five people... Today he still lurks the streets of Texarkana, Ark. Slasher Summer continues with regular guest Amanda Waltz from Pittsburgh City Paper as we jump back into the '70s with 1976's The Town That Dreaded Sundown. In the aftermath of World War II, a quiet town is terrorized by a faceless killer targeting young lovers, plunging the community into paranoia and fear. Also this week:  Lance's Billboard story, the new reality show "Mandy's Manor", Mystery Science Theater, and The legend of "The Sackler" All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS! "Texarkana looked normal during the daylight hours. But everyone dreaded sundown.." ----- Check out our Patreon for tons of bonus content, exclusive goodies, and access to our Discord server! ----- The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976) Directed by Charles B. Pierce Written by Earl E. Smith Starring Ben Johnson, Andrew Prine, Dawn Wells, and Charles B. Pierce ----- 00:00 - Intro & Opening Banter 39:23 - "The Shpiel" 47:28 - Film Breakdown 01:55:30 - The Brain Bucket & Outro

The most terrifying scream is always the last. Ben is BACK as Summer Slasher month continues with the 2000 sequel SCREAM 3. Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) must confront a killer who’s using the Stab 3 film set as their hunting ground. With old friends and new victims caught in the chaos, a shocking connection to her past is revealed. Also this week: Lance's miserable movie theater experience, the "problem" with the Scream Lore, the multiple different drafts of this wacky movie, and Ben will take a Blue String Thing if you got it. All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS! "All I know is that in the third one, all bets are off." ----- Check out our Patreon for tons of bonus content, exclusive goodies, and access to our Discord server! ----- Scream 3 (2000) Directed by Wes Craven Written by Ehren Kruger Starring Neve Campbell, David Arquette, Courteney Cox, Lance Henriksen, Patrick Dempsey, Parker Posey, Scott Foley, and Patrick Warburton ----- 00:00 - Intro & Opening Banter 36:50 - "The Shpiel" 59:00 - Film Breakdown 02:09:28 - Stump The Brainiacs & Outro

It Happened To Someone Who Knows Someone You Know... You're Next. When real-life tragedy strikes and Ben unexpectedly steps out, musician Jordan Sloane (of Red Temple Pray and Groundstate) steps up to fill in just as he does for Pummeled! Summer Slasher month continues with the 1998's URBAN LEGEND. When a string of bizarre murders strikes a college campus, each mimicking a classic urban legend, a group of friends realizes the stories they once laughed at may be horrifyingly real. With time running out, they must uncover the killer’s identity. Also this week: Remembering Stabbing Westward and other music talk, Lance's HS track and field career, and why does everyone at this college have the same parka? All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS! "'Don't you want to be an urban legend? All your friends are now.'" ----- Check out our Patreon for tons of bonus content, exclusive goodies, and access to our Discord server! ----- Urban Legend (1998) Directed by Jamie Blanks Written by Silvio Horta Starring Alicia Witt, Rebecca Gayheart, Michael Rosenbaum, Loretta Devine, Joshua Jackson, Tara Reid, Danielle Harris, Robert Englund, and Jared Leto ----- 00:00 - Intro & Opening Banter 20:18 - "The Shpiel" 44:11 - Film Breakdown 01:46:40 - The Can't Hardly Wait Game & Outro        

Some secrets will haunt you forever. A new month! A new theme! Summer Slasher month kicks off with the 1998 sequel I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER. Still haunted by past horrors, Julie James (Jennifer Love Hewitt) wins a trip to a remote island where she hopes to escape her trauma. As a storm traps her group, the hook-wielding killer returns to finish what he started. Also this week: The new song "Poptart Girl", we meet Will, Ben's son, and what would Ben do if Lance died? All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS! "'This island didn't have a murder rate until you people showed up!'" ----- Check out our Patreon for tons of bonus content, exclusive goodies, and access to our Discord server! ----- I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998) Directed by Danny Cannon Written by Trey Callaway Starring Jennifer Love Hewitt, Freddie Prinze Jr., Brandy Norwood, Mekhi Phifer, Matthew Settle, Jeffrey Combs, and Jack Black (Uncredited) ----- 00:00 - Intro & Opening Banter 29:15 - "The Shpiel" 45:49 - Film Breakdown 01:49:20 - Stump The Brainiacs & Outro

  When days turn to weeks... ZOOMbie Month conlcudes with the 2007 sequel 28 WEEKS LATER. Six months after the Rage virus decimates Britain, the U.S. military helps repopulate a quarantined London—but when the virus resurfaces, chaos erupts once again. A family’s reunion inadvertently triggers a deadly resurgence. Also this week: A VH1 "Celebreality" history lesson, Lance remembers his time as the "Dairy Queen Q", and this movie's relation to the Iraq War. All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS! "'Blood makes me nauseous.'" ----- Check out our Patreon for tons of bonus content, exclusive goodies, and access to our Discord server! ----- 28 Weeks Later (2007) Directed by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo Written by Rowan Joffe and Juan Carlos Fresnadillo Starring Rose Byrne, Jeremy Renner, Robert Carlyle, Idris Elba, and Imogen Poots ----- 00:00 - Intro & Opening Banter 29:07 - "The Shpiel" 42:35 - Film Breakdown 01:37:00 - Stump The Brainiacs & Outro

  The Days Are Numbered ZOOMbie Month zooms ahead with the 2002 modern classic 28 DAYS LATER. In a post-apocalyptic Britain ravaged by a rage-inducing virus, a handful of survivors struggle to stay alive amid chaos and despair. Their journey reveals that the true threat may not be the infected, but the remnants of humanity itself. Also this week: Controversial, hot-button HAT TALK, Mars Bar vs Milky Way, and Lance gushes over the movie. All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS! "'Repent, The End Is Extremely F---ing Nigh'" ----- Check out our Patreon for tons of bonus content, exclusive goodies, and access to our Discord server! ----- 28 Days Later (2002) Directed by Danny Boyle Written by Alex Garland Starring Cillian Murphy, Naomie Harris, Brendan Gleeson, and Christopher Eccleston ----- 00:00 - Intro & Opening Banter 27:24 - "The Shpiel" 45:20 - Film Breakdown 01:48:00 - The Brain Bucket & Outro      

  Experience Fear ZOOMbie Month continues with the 2007 Spanish Found footage classic REC. A television reporter and her cameraman follow a group of firefighters into a Barcelona apartment building, only to find themselves trapped inside as a mysterious infection spreads among the residents. As chaos escalates, their footage documents of the unfolding nightmare. Also this week: Ben rides a wild rollercoaster, an underrated Robin Williams role, and... Is Bob Hoskins in this movie? All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS! "We have to tape everything, Pablo, for f---'s sake!" ----- Check out our Patreon for tons of bonus content, exclusive goodies, and access to our Discord server! ----- REC (2007) Directed by Jaume Balagueró & Paco Plaza Written by Jaume Balagueró, Paco Plaza, and Luiso Berdejo Starring Manuela Velasco, Ferran Terraza, Jorge-Yamam Serrano, and Pablo Rosso ----- 00:00 - Intro & Opening Banter 24:35 - "The Shpiel" 39:00 - Film Breakdown 01:20:55 - Brain Bucket & Outro

When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth. (Again) It's time get speedy folks, in honor of the release of 28 Years Later, we're doing fast zombies all month! First off of the starting line is Zack Snyder's 2004 remake of DAWN OF THE DEAD. A ragtag band of strangers barricade themselves inside a shopping mall as a relentless horde of sprinting zombies overruns civilization. With danger closing in from all sides, they hatch a desperate, high-octane escape plan that could be their only shot at survival. Also this week: Ben's "Nerf Nail", Lance can't stop laughing about Ben's old classmate, and plenty of Zack Snyder talk. All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS! "I like this song." ----- Check out our Patreon for tons of bonus content, exclusive goodies, and access to our Discord server! ----- Dawn of the Dead (2004) Directed by Zack Snyder Written by James Gunn Starring Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, Jake Weber, Ty Burrell, Mekhi Phifer, and Matt Frewer ----- 00:00 - Intro & Opening Banter 25:07 - "The Shpiel" 45:55 - Film Breakdown 01:42:05 - Stump The Brainiacs & Outro  

New Terror Surfaces. This week we dive into a film that somehow rips off the entire Jaws franchise at once: 1995's CRUEL JAWS. A rogue tiger shark, once a secret military weapon, escapes near Hampton Bay, FL, turning the waters deadly as the town prepares for a regatta. Meanwhile, struggling aquarium owner Dag Soerenson (Richard Dew) faces pressure from a corrupt landowner, unaware of the looming carnage. Also this week: Lance gets stung by another bee, Ben saves a baby bird, and all this film's stolen sharks. All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS! "We're gonna need a bigger HELICOPTER!" ----- Check out our Patreon for tons of bonus content, exclusive goodies, and access to our Discord server! ----- Cruel Jaws (1995) Directed by Bruno Mattei Written by Bruno Mattei, Linda Morrison, and Robert Feen Starring David Luther, George Barnes Jr., and Richard Dew ----- 00:00 - Intro & Opening Banter 29:35 - "The Shpiel" 41:20 - Film Breakdown 01:29:23 - Brain Bucket & Outro    

Bigger. Smarter. Faster. Meaner. This week we get deep with 1999's DEEP BLUE SEA. In an isolated underwater research facility, scientists experimenting on mako sharks to combat Alzheimer's disease inadvertently create hyper-intelligent predators that turn the lab into a terrifying battleground. The situation spirals out of control and the team must fight for survival against these super intelligent sharks. Also this week: Lance rallies against barbers, one of the of last big budget B movies, and we're going TOPSIDE again. All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS! "What you've done is taken God's oldest killing machine and given it will and desire." ----- Check out our Patreon for tons of bonus content, exclusive goodies, and access to our Discord server! ----- Deep Blue Sea (1999) Directed by Renny Harlin Written by Duncan Kennedy, Donna Powers, and Wayne Powers Starring Thomas Jane, Saffron Burrows, Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Rapaport, Stellan Skarsgård, and LL Cool J ----- 00:00 - Intro & Opening Banter 28:28 - "The Shpiel" 44:03 - Film Breakdown 01:37:20 - Brain Bucket & Outro          

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water... It's sequel time! This week we dive in to 1978's JAWS 2. Amity is haunted once again by a terrifying shark, forcing Police Chief Brody (Roy Scheider) to confront the growing danger while others doubt his warnings (again). As tensions rise, a group of young sailors find themselves in a desperate fight for survival. Also this week: Lance's moving woes during a historic storm in Pittsburgh, Ben is curious about bird anatomy, and Roy Scheider really didnt want to do this movie. All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS! "Open wide OPEN WIDE! SAY 'AAH!" ----- Check out our Patreon for tons of bonus content, exclusive goodies, and access to our Discord server! ----- Jaws 2 (1975) Directed by Jeannot Szwarc Written by Carl Gottlieb and Howard Sackler Starring Roy Scheider, Lorraine Gary, and Murray Hamilton ----- 00:00 - Intro & Opening Banter 21:44 - "The Shpiel" 38:19 - Film Breakdown 01:35:12 - Brain Bucket & Outro        

You'll never go in the water again! Join us for our 400TH EPISODE as we celebrate by covering the massive classic 1975's JAWS. A small coastal town is terrorized by a monstrous great white shark, forcing police chief Brody (Roy Scheider), marine biologist Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss), and grizzled shark hunter Quint (Robert Shaw) to join forces in a desperate battle against the relentless predator. Will The Boys be sunk? Find out here! Also this week: Lance tries his best at a Jaws Shpiel, Bruce Springsteen's thoughts on Soccer, and plenty of Quint and Hooper Impressions All this--and a whole lot more--on this week's episode of NEON BRAINIACS! "You're gonna need a bigger boat." ----- Check out our Patreon for tons of bonus content, exclusive goodies, and access to our Discord server! ----- Jaws (1975) Directed by Steven Spielberg Written by Peter Benchley and Carl Gottlieb Starring Roy Scheider, Richard Dreyfuss, Robert Shaw, and Lorraine Gary ----- 00:00 - Intro & Opening Banter 29:25 - "The Shpiel" 52:40 - Film Breakdown 02:12:55 - Brain Bucket & Outro