Kristen's journey is one of perseverance, resilience, curiosity, and self-discovery. She refers to her thirties as her "waking up period" and her forties as her "sexual self-actualization." Now in her fifties, she feels like everything is integrating together... She currently identifies as a relationship anarchist who's excited about, and open to, the infinite possibilities and uncertainty of life. Kristen's story is incredibly powerful and inspiring and we hope you get as much from it as we did! Kristen is also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) who works in California. You can find more information about her work as a therapist on her website here and you can learn more about The Non-Monogamy Card Game here! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Sonia is back... Again! Sonia joined us on episodes 193 and 388 with her husband Gabriel and this time she's back with her partner Steven who's joining us for the first time. Don't worry! You won't be lost today if you haven't listened to the previous episodes with Sonia and Gabriel. Sonia and Steven have been together for just over eight years and each of them came to their partnership having explored non-monogamy for quite a few years. This interview is really powerful as they share their individual experiences of building their relationship within the hierarchical dynamic of Sonia's marriage. We loved having the opportunity to talk with them both about the nuances, challenges, and benefits of hierarchy in their partnership. Steven shares his perspective on what it's like for him to be the "secondary" partner as he takes us through the journey that he's been on figuring out what he needs for himself. Similarly, Sonia talks about the realities of priority and hierarchy in her life as she juggles a demanding career and multiple committed partnerships. Together, they share how they've worked their butts off, individually and as a couple, to build a really beautiful and fulfilling relationship... And, it definitely hasn't been easy! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Carrie and Drew have been married about 10 years and are high school sweethearts who grew up in pretty religious families with purity culture heavily influencing them both, and their partnership. A few years ago Carrie found a queer content creator and therapist on Instagram who opened her mind to the possibility of choice for herself for the first time in her life. Around this time, Carrie and Drew did a yes/no/maybe quiz about sex and discovered that they shared an interest in exploring with other people. So, they started talking about it... a lot... and eventually decided to make a profile on a dating app to see if they could make the fantasy a reality. And, they did! Carrie vulnerably takes us through growing up with the pressure and confusion of religion and purity culture and the impact these had on her sexuality and on their relationship. She also shares about the experiences she and Drew had with another couple before ultimately deciding that the amount of energy it took for her to remain regulated while swinging was too much. Carrie and Drew still consider themselves religious and while swinging isn't the best fit for them at the moment, they're still seeking new ways to explore the endless possibilities of sex, pleasure, and intimacy together. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Ayala first read The Ethical Slut in high school and actually started dating non-monogamously from the beginning of her relationship explorations. It wasn't until about a decade later that she intentionally set out to see what monogamy was all about. Today, Ayala identifies as ambiamorous... Content and happy with either monogamy or non-monogamy, depending on the relationship. This interview with Ayala is full of so much wisdom and insight and is just a really lovely conversation about her relationship journey. One of the things we love is when we have the opportunity to talk to therapists about their own relationships and we got to do just that with Ayala! Ayala is a sex and relationship therapist who describes herself on her website much better than we ever could! I’m Ayala Kalisher, a therapist who specializes in helping people access more safety, connection and pleasure in their lives. My approach blends traditional and cutting-edge modalities to help clients navigate stuck patterns, relationships, and personal growth with more ease and authenticity. I believe therapy should be a place where you get to feel seen, supported, and empowered. Whether you’re seeking relief from painful past experiences, struggling in your relationships, or looking for a therapist who isn’t afraid to talk about sex, I welcome you as you are. Oh! Ayala also co-created The Non-Monogamy Card Game, as well! Please head over to Ayala's website to learn more about her work and don't forget to grab a copy of her card game! Enjoy! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Courtney and Derek were both on the show separately over the past two weeks and today we're delighted to bring them on together to tell their very own love story! Both of their individual stories are incredible and we definitely recommend listening to them but you will NOT be lost today if you haven't already listened. Courtney and Derek's story stands on its own and it's a love story for the ages! Trigger warning... This is a sappy and mushy love story told in great detail and we're so here for it! It's also full of laughter and hilarious anecdotes! Courtney and Derek met online a few years ago and since then have fallen pretty madly in love. Today's interview is unique in that we get to hear what was going on for each of them as they began forming their partnership while the imperfect human-ness of life swirled around them. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Courtney just turned 50 and has been exploring polyamory and non-monogamy for the last three years or so... However, her story begins long before she and her husband of 16 years opened their relationship in 2022. Today, Courtney takes us all the way back to the first time she had simultaneous crushes at age four... Rocky and Superman! Today's interview with Courtney is full of laughter, joy, heartbreak, whirlwind relationships, self-discovery, and beautifully vulnerable and powerful stories of life and love. Join us! You won't regret it. And! If Courtney's story resonated for you and you're looking at real estate in the Asheville area, please reach out to her through her website! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
If you were thinking of skipping this one, consider rethinking that... Derek first learned about polyamory from one of the original writings on the subject in Green Egg Magazine back in 1990 (see link in show notes below)... He was in his early twenties and showed it to his college girlfriend and they sort of jumped right in! They explored non-monogamy together for a few years before parting ways and Derek found himself "scared back into monogamy" for many years. Fast-forward just a couple years and Derek gets married in 2015... When he met his wife, Kay, a few years prior he brought up the idea of non-monogamy but she wasn't interested. However, she brought the idea back to him in 2016 and they decided to open their relationship for about a year before starting a family. When their son was about three they decided to open up again and during the time they had closed their partnership Kay had come out to him as queer. Then, around 2021 Kay came out to Derek as a lesbian. Today, Derek and Kay are nesting co-parents and are rebuilding their friendship. Derek also has a girlfriend of about 18 months who lives nearby and describes himself as ambiamorous... Comfortable with both monogamy and non-monogamy. Join us today as Derek shares his incredibly powerful and beautiful story. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Marla has been exploring and practicing non-monogamy for about 20 years after learning about it during their first year of college. After getting out of their last monogamous relationship early in their college experience, Marla fell in love with their best friend and never really looked back. Like many of us, they were kind of making it up as they went and figuring it out along the way. Today we have a fantastic conversation with Marla about their journey, their struggles and triumphs, as well as the wisdom they've earned along the way. We dig into the reality of being an imperfect human, the importance of relationship repair, queer-platonic partnerships, and everyone's favorite topic... Hierarchy! More about Marla from their website: www.polyamarla.com Marla (they/them pronouns) is a relationship therapist and educator specializing in non-monogamy and *2SLGBTQIA+ identities. They have been practicing polyamory since 2005, and facilitating programs on the subject since 2009. (*2Spirit, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual, and beyond) Like you, they are a fabulous and sometimes messy human being. As a member of so many of the communities they support, Marla takes accountability when they’ve made mistakes, and doesn’t shy away from challenging conversations. Their goal is to provide support and education for people who want to understand or practice non-monogamy. They advocate for the health of non-monogamous communities by offering services to people within, and adjacent to those communities. Please check out all of Marla's work on their website and don't forget to grab a copy of their brand new book Nonmonogamy and Defying a Paradigm! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Sarah is an elder Gen Z in her mid to late twenties who feels like she's always been polyamorous but didn't have the words for it. Like many, her initial dating experiences followed the model of serial monogamy, but for her it always felt terrible to "have to" end a decent relationship just because she met someone else she had feelings for. Not anymore! A few years ago she met her primary partner and they've been in an open relationship since the beginning. In this fantastic interview Sarah shares how she and her partner navigated the early days of being non-monogamous when neither of them had any experience or models of how to do it. We also have great conversations about how they handle hierarchy, how she navigates dating monogamous people since she lives in a place with few polyamorous folks, and how she keeps herself safe as she explores in ways that feel very natural for her. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Cooper and his wife are in their forties with three kids and have been married for over 17 years. While they only "officially" opened their relationship about three years ago it wasn't a completely foreign concept to them when they got together and they always had a mindset and understanding that there was more out there. Cooper's wife initially brought up the idea of opening their relationship when her libido started to wane during perimenopause but they quickly realized this was about way more than that... It was a doorway to a whole new set of possibilities and opportunities for them both! In this wonderful conversation Cooper shares with us how he and his wife navigate non-monogamy with slightly different styles and desires and how they handle hierarchy in their connections with others. He also digs into their experiences with supporting each other through breakups and how they manage all of this while raising a family, working. and living full lives. We love how Cooper and his wife approach their relationship and life with such an open and curious mindset - we hope you enjoy this interview as much as we do! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Dossie realized in her early twenties that sexuality was her path and that sexuality and feminism would be hand-in-hand in creating the changes she wanted to see in the world, and in herself. In 1969, when she was about 25, Dossie declared she'd never be monogamous again... And she never looked back! Dossie's story is full of love, laughter, joy, heartbreak, healing, determination, grit, and inspiration. In this incredibly moving and powerful conversation Dossie takes us through more than 60 years of trailblazing a path for herself that so many have since followed while discovering their authentic selves. We're honored to be able to share this beautiful interview with you today and hope it inspires you as much as it did us. You may recognize Dossie Easton as the co-author of The Ethical Slut and other books but of course she is so much more than just that... From her own website: "I am proud to serve my communities as psychotherapist, relationship counselor, educator, and author. Since 1969, I have lived and worked in sexual minority cultures. I am dedicated to feminist, polyamorous, BDSM, spiritual, gender-diverse, and LGBTQ individuals and communities. I explore, with my clients and in my own life, new paradigms of gender, sexuality, and relationships. I am committed to offering authentic, respectful, competent, and compassionate psychotherapy and relationship counseling to people exploring non-traditional lifestyles." Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Danielle and her husband have been married for over thirty years and have been exploring non-monogamy together for more than twenty of them. Danielle's husband initially brought up the idea but the concept felt intuitive for both of them so they started tiptoeing into it together. And of course, just because it felt intuitive doesn't mean that there weren't challenges and surprises along the way. This interview with Danielle is really beautiful and vulnerable as she takes us all the way back to her childhood and then through thirty plus years of marriage, raising a family, building a business, and living the hell out of life. We have powerful conversations about confronting jealousy and how it can really sneak up and surprise you, coming out to their children, how she and her husband have different preferences and desires when it comes to connecting with others, and so much more! We hope you enjoy this lovely conversation as much as we did! Danielle began immersing herself in learning about sexuality, relationships, and pleasure from a relatively young age and never really stopped... Dr. Danielle Harel is a pioneering force in erotic embodiment and personal transformation. As co-creator of the Somatica® Method and co-founder of the Somatica Institute, she weaves deep academic expertise with heartfelt presence, empowering people to awaken their desires and embrace their fullest, most authentic selves. With a Ph.D. in Human Sexuality, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work, Danielle brings both scholarly depth and intuitive wisdom to her work. She has co-authored three transformative books and served as lead sexologist and consulting producer on Virgin Island, a bold Channel 4 series exploring real, vulnerable, and healing erotic connection. Danielle’s approach is rooted in celebration and curiosity, inviting each person to reclaim pleasure as an essential part of human wholeness. You can learn more about Danielle and her work at somaticainstitute.com. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Jacob and his spouse have been in some form of an open relationship since they got together over 18 years ago. In fact, their relationship actually began as a triad. Today, Jacob takes us along his relationship journey as he and his partner traveled the country living all over and exploring connections and partnerships in their own unique ways. Jacob is an infant care specialist and an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) who helps families of all kinds with their lactation needs. He specializes in helping non-gestational parents who want to induce lactation as well as queer, trans, and non-binary parents who have given birth and need support with lactation. Jacob also recently released his first book "Lactation for the Rest of Us - A Guide for Queer and Trans Parents and Helpers." Please check out all of Jacob's work and grab a copy of his book over on his website. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Kels first began experimenting with non-monogamy in her mid-twenties when she and her partner agreed that they could both experiment and play with others while traveling. Since then, Kels has explored a variety of different relationship styles and dynamics as she continues to figure out what's best for her. One of the things we absolutely love about Kels' story is how she approaches life and relationships with kindness, curiosity, and a sense of adventure to what's possible when you open yourself up to the potential of connection with others. Kels is also the co-founder of Squirm! A bit more about Kels straight from Squirm's website: Kels is a producer, businesswoman, and sex and relationship enthusiast. She never underestimates the power of a good story or a good spreadsheet. In tandem with a career in project management and marketing, she has been writing, directing, producing and performing for film and theater since 2013. Kels believes the core of a good business, production, or sexual experience is the same: being attuned to other people and aware of their sweet spots. She’s committed to restoring education to its natural state — enticing. Check out getsquirmy.com for more information about their game, events, and the Porn Nerds podcast! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Johnny started exploring non-monogamy about a decade ago when he and his partner first got together. Their partnership was non-monogamous from the beginning and they moved slowly and intentionally as they figured out what works best for them. They currently define their partnership as "open" and for them that means that everything is on the table for discussion. Join us for this beautiful conversation as Johnny takes us on his journey over the last 10 years! Johnny is also a Somatic & Mindfulness Coach. He loves supporting people in moving from feeling overwhelmed, stuck and unfulfilled to feeling peace, confidence, and courage, knowing who you really are and what you can offer the world. Johnny offers 1:1 coaching as well as various group programs and calls. Check out his website to learn more about his work! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Jenna and Wendi are back! It's been three and a half years since we last talked to these two lovely humans and we're definitely not waiting that long until the next time! You don't need to go back and listen to Episode 209 to enjoy this conversation but we're pretty sure today's episode will leave you wanting more! Lots has changed but one thing definitely hasn't... These two are so full of love, life, laughter, and joy! We have a fantastic conversation about how they each 'star in their own movie' while also maintaining their connection. We also dig into changes around how Jenna has been dating and perhaps Wendi may have had an experience or two herself! One of the things we love so much about talking to Jenna and Wendi is how casually they normalize non-monogamy by weaving it into their lives. It's not flawless, nor is it always easy, but they show up for one another and for themselves with compassion in such a beautiful way. Enjoy! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Lola has been exploring non-monogamy since about 2009 and like many of us, their motivation has shifted and evolved along the way. In this powerful interview Lola takes us through their beautiful journey of self-discovery, healing, and untangling the web of misconceptions we're taught about sex, love, and relationships. Lola Phoenix is an American-born writer living in Sweden, working within digital marketing while trying to find an agent to represent their fiction work. Lola is the author of The Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy and The Non-Monogamy Journal as well as a weekly advice column and podcast called Non-Monogamy Help. Please check out nonmonogamyhelp.com for all of Lola's work! Lola is also an amateur Strongman athlete and has a special interest in fitness and nutrition. When not writing books, Lola is either at the gym, talking walks in nature, learning about sciencey stuff or baking new treats. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Megan and Brett are back! We last talked to these two just over a year ago on Episode 337 and it's been a busy year! Lots has changed... They still swing together and go to clubs together but they've also started exploring more solo dating, dabbling a bit more in kink, and they even talked about their open relationship style and choices on the pulpit in their congregation! Join us today as Megan and Brett catch us up on their adventure together in this lovely conversation! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Princess is back! She was first on the show with her partner DD back on episode 322 and today she's here to go a bit deeper on her own individual journey. Princess is a 30-something mother of a college-aged kid and has been practicing some form of non-monogamy for almost 15 years. Like most of us, she started exploring swinging after responding to an ad on Craigslist to be a nude receptionist at a clothing-optional swinger's resort... Oh, wait... That's not how you got here? Anyways! Princess took the job and over the last 15 years has been learning so much about herself, figuring out what relationship styles work for her, and exploring her sexuality. This interview is full of incredible stories, laughter, and powerful insights. Enjoy! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
As Celeste describes it, she's had a long and illustrious journey of exploring different relationships and relationship styles as she continues learning who she is and what works best for her. For so long she tried to fit herself into what she calls "primary possessive partnerships" and unfortunately spent much of her time being triggered. Today, Celeste identifies as "solo open" and has filled her life with lovers, partners, and friends that she feels deeply connected to while also feeling safe and securely attached. This conversation is so beautiful and full of vulnerability, laughter, and love as Celeste takes us on her powerful journey. Enjoy! Celeste Hirschman, MA, is a visionary in intimacy and personal transformation. As co-founder of the Somatica Institute, she merges profound insight with compassion, empowering individuals to unlock deeper connections and embrace their authentic selves. With a Master’s in Human Sexuality Studies and a background in Women’s Studies, Celeste has co-authored three transformative books and contributed groundbreaking research in adolescent sexuality. You can learn more about Celeste and all of her work at somaticainstitute.com. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Thomas
oooof, tough listen.
Tamika
i relate to fernanda is saying about wanting connection and having a standard of complete transperancy. if you can swap fluids or wine.amd dine you can reply to a text.foe goodness sake 🤣
Valeria Marzullo
finally someone that lives in London,not US based! unfortunately over 5' of skipping to do before the interview starts.
Charlie Bradley
wonderful episode! I'm so happy for them, and it's made me feel less alone to hear thier journey.
James Wheeler
6 months? That doesn't make people comfortable.