Not So Chic with Elli Freeman

Have you ever seen an Instagram Story of people hanging out without you and suddenly decided you have no friends, everyone secretly hates you, and you should probably move to a new city? Same! This week, we’re talking about being left out: the group chats you’re not in, the dinners you weren’t invited to, and the deeply humbling experience of zooming into the reflection of a martini glass to figure out who else was there. I’m also telling the story of the time my friends made an entirely new version of our group chat without me—and I was so delusional I searched my phone because I thought I had accidentally muted it. Spoiler: I had not. We’re getting into why being left out hurts so fucking badly, the difference between actually being excluded and your friends simply having lives that unfortunately do not revolve around you, and why sometimes you don’t even want to go—you just want the ceremonial invitation. LET ME reject YOU. Plus, in Guest Therapy: Hinge pen pals, men who will happily plan your hypothetical wedding but cannot plan drinks for Thursday, and why 72 hours of nonstop texting does not, in fact, make him your future husband. If you’ve ever conducted a psychological autopsy over an Instagram Story, this one’s for you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I've spent approximately 23 years being my own biggest hater, and I fear it's time for a rebrand. This week, we're talking about self-compassion, otherwise known as treating yourself with the same kindness you extend to literally everyone else. From accidentally dropping my baby cousin at nine years old to waking up half-naked with McDonald's chicken nuggets in my cleavage, we're unpacking the difference between holding yourself accountable and putting yourself on trial for every mistake you've ever made. I'm also reading a letter I wrote to myself at 19 during one of the hardest periods of my life, revisiting the little girl who desperately wanted to fit in, and discussing why you don't have to hate yourself into becoming a better person. Because you can regret your decisions without regretting who you are. And frankly, life is hard enough without living with a bully who knows all your insecurities. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Apparently, you don't need a boyfriend to go through a breakup. Who knew? This week, we're discussing the seven stages of heartbreak, the particular psychological warfare of ending a situationship, and the deeply humbling experience of grieving a future that existed entirely in your head. From convincing yourself that an Instagram story view means he's coming back to drafting your seventeenth final text, we're getting into all of it. I'm sharing what I've learned about choosing yourself when it's the last thing you want to do, why closure might be a scam, and how to move forward when you're not quite ready to move on. Because sometimes the hardest person to get over is the one you never actually dated. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For most of my life, I thought everyone was counting their shampoo pumps, strategically positioning their bedroom door, Googling every bodily sensation and occasionally convincing themselves that if something wasn’t just right, they might die in their sleep. Apparently, we were not all doing that. This week, we’re talking about OCD: the intrusive thoughts, compulsions, reassurance seeking, rumination and desperate pursuit of certainty that I didn’t even realize were running my life until I was 19. I’m sharing some of my strangest childhood rituals, the moment I finally understood my own brain, what ERP taught me, and the deeply annoying phrase that changed everything: maybe, maybe not. Because recovery isn’t learning how to guarantee that nothing bad will happen. It’s learning that you don’t need the guarantee. Plus, Guest Therapy tackles the post-grad panic of not knowing what the hell you’re doing with your life—and why maybe you don’t need all your ducks in a row. You just need to know which duck you’re dealing with today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Being single is not a problem I’m currently trying to solve. This week, we’re talking about how to actually enjoy being single without swearing off love, pretending you never get lonely, or treating every man you meet like a potential husband. From awful Hinge dates and imaginary perfect boyfriends to protecting your friendships, romanticizing your own life, and realizing that being chosen was never really the goal. Maybe I’ll fall madly in love one day. I hope I do. But I’m not spending the years before that happens waiting for my life to start. He can join when he gets here. We’ll get him a wine glass too. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices