Not So Chic with Elli Freeman

For most of my life, I thought everyone was counting their shampoo pumps, strategically positioning their bedroom door, Googling every bodily sensation and occasionally convincing themselves that if something wasn’t just right, they might die in their sleep. Apparently, we were not all doing that. This week, we’re talking about OCD: the intrusive thoughts, compulsions, reassurance seeking, rumination and desperate pursuit of certainty that I didn’t even realize were running my life until I was 19. I’m sharing some of my strangest childhood rituals, the moment I finally understood my own brain, what ERP taught me, and the deeply annoying phrase that changed everything: maybe, maybe not. Because recovery isn’t learning how to guarantee that nothing bad will happen. It’s learning that you don’t need the guarantee. Plus, Guest Therapy tackles the post-grad panic of not knowing what the hell you’re doing with your life—and why maybe you don’t need all your ducks in a row. You just need to know which duck you’re dealing with today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Being single is not a problem I’m currently trying to solve. This week, we’re talking about how to actually enjoy being single without swearing off love, pretending you never get lonely, or treating every man you meet like a potential husband. From awful Hinge dates and imaginary perfect boyfriends to protecting your friendships, romanticizing your own life, and realizing that being chosen was never really the goal. Maybe I’ll fall madly in love one day. I hope I do. But I’m not spending the years before that happens waiting for my life to start. He can join when he gets here. We’ll get him a wine glass too. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Shame is the voice that turns “I embarrassed myself” into “I’m embarrassing,” “they didn’t text me back” into “I’m unlovable,” and one slightly questionable social interaction into a seven-year recurring thought before bed. This week, we’re talking about shame: where it comes from, why it thrives in secrecy, the difference between shame and guilt, perfectionism as shame management, vulnerability hangovers, people-pleasing, body image, and the exhausting experience of constantly imagining yourself through everyone else’s eyes. I’m also sharing some of my own greatest hits in shame—including accidentally lying to my dentist about my entire life, my complicated relationship with calling myself an influencer, and the occasional decision to say fuck it and choose fun over being perceived perfectly. Because the goal isn’t to become completely shameless. It’s to stop letting shame decide who you’re allowed to be. And maybe the things you’ve spent your entire life trying to hide aren’t the things making you unlovable. Maybe they’re just the things making you human. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’ve spent most of my life romanticizing everything—relationships, friendships, college, moving to a new city, rainy days, heartbreak… you name it. And while I don’t ever want to stop finding magic in ordinary life, I’m starting to realize there’s a difference between romanticizing your life and becoming attached to a version of it that only exists in your head. This week, we’re talking about the stories we write for ourselves, why situationships can sometimes hurt more than actual relationships, grieving potential instead of people, and what happens when reality doesn’t follow the script we imagined. Maybe growing up isn’t about becoming less romantic. Maybe it’s about realizing the best parts of your life might be the ones you never saw coming. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’ve referenced the fact that I didn’t go to my high school graduation before, but I’ve never actually told you the full story of why. My senior year ended with an anonymous Instagram account, a “worst friend” superlative, hundreds of my classmates watching the whole thing unfold, a meeting with my principal, my parents pulling me out of school, and ultimately, me not walking at graduation. And somehow, six baby bunnies also almost get burned alive in the middle of all of this. You genuinely cannot make this shit up. But underneath the absolutely unhinged high school story is something I still think about years later: how easy it is to forget there’s an actual human being on the other side of a screen. We’re talking cyberbullying, teenage cruelty, mental health, the way schools handle—or don’t handle—these situations, and why you will never regret being kinder than necessary. Grab your blanket and sweet treat. This one is a STORY. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices