OH-Kay, but seriously

Content Warning:This episode contains brief mentions of rape and infertility, particularly in the context of fears surrounding endometriosis. While these topics are not discussed in detail, they do form part of the conversation. Please listen with care, especially if you’re sensitive to these subjects. Thank you for taking care of yourself.Endometriosis often referred to as “endo”, is a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside of it, leading to chronic pain, hormonal disruptions, and often a long journey to diagnosis. Though it’s common, it’s still widely misunderstood, especially when it comes to Black women’s health.In this episode, I sit down with endometriosis warrior and advocate Bontle Moka to unpack our personal experiences with endo, PMDD, and PCOS. We explore:- Bontle’s powerful advocacy work and why she’s raising her voice - What our diagnosis journeys have looked like: - The unique struggles Black women face when navigating the healthcare system- How a spiritual encounter shaped Bontle’s sense of purpose- The passion behind her mission to create greater awareness- Common myths and misconceptions about endometriosis- A short discussion about Bontle Moka as an author, including an overview of her books ‘Church’ and ‘On His Bathroom Floor’.This is a conversation about pain, purpose, and pushing forward despite being overlooked. Whether you’ve been diagnosed or are just curious, we hope this episode brings you clarity, comfort, and community.Reach out to Bontle Moka ♥Instagram | @endometriosis.za Personal Instagram : @bontle_Bontle Moka’s Website | https://bontlemoabi.meWritten Work | https://bontlemoka.substack.com/?fbclid=PAQ0xDSwLwmA9leHRuA2FlbQIxMQABp37Dzx1qMhNypnmV2qdZsTlMnDf16gZ9AN3XP4dkHHcz837exVptgVdNjwy-_aem_NCRKbNgOVOip4Ijq3bopPg

Why do some of us feel so called to be somebody. To make a mark, to mean something beyond our own lifetimes, even when it feels exhausting to try? There is a quiet heaviness of being a dreamer. Especially when you’re someone (like myself) who is living with depression. Let’s talk about to carry deep ambition, to crave legacy, and to want more than just survival or “a normal life.” This isn’t just about success or money. It’s about purpose, longing, and the emotional weight of wanting to become more.

I’d like to explore the phenomenon of identity disruption or transitional identity. The psychological experience of shedding previous ways of being, while not yet having fully integrated or embodied a new self-concept. This isn’t a complete loss of identity, but rather a liminal phase: a space between who one was and who one is becoming. During this period, a person may remain anchored by core values, cultural background, and foundational beliefs, but simultaneously feel a sense of disorientation as familiar traits, roles, and responses begin to shift.

In this birthday episode, I’m sharing 12 lessons life has taught me so far—everything from the beauty of impermanence to the power of hope, friendship, and self-investment. These reflections are rooted in personal experience and wisdom passed down from loved ones. Join me as I explore how to embrace the present, nurture meaningful relationships, and live with intention, even when life feels uncertain. This episode is a reminder that we’re all on this journey together —learning, growing, and becoming who we’re meant to be.

OH-Kay, Let’s Talk About It - Being back home reminded me how simple life actually can be — and how far we’ve drifted from that. In the city, it’s so easy to start believing that your value comes from what you post, where you’re seen, who you know. You get caught in this cycle of chasing validation without even realising it. But being in eNqutu, where people live slow, grounded lives, where nobody’s rushing to show off their blessings online… it just hit different. It made me realise: so much of what we chase is noise. None of it touches your soul the way real peace does. And the scary part is, if you’re not careful, you’ll wake up one day performing a life you don’t even recognise — all because you were too busy trying to prove you were “making it.” The real flex is waking up with a quiet heart, not a curated feed.Bible Verses 🤍 Ecclesiastes 1:2🤍 Matthew 6:1

Grief is the echo left behind when love has nowhere to go. It’s the invisible weight pressing against the ribs, where laughter once lived and silence now lingers. It is love’s shadow, stretched long and dark across the days that follow a loss.This episode is dedicated with Love to Gogoshi Katlego and Wandile. In this episode, Thando and I talk about the loss of our beloved cousin and sister, Katlego. We share our experience of hearing the news, the complicated nature of grief, and how we've been coping day by day since her passing. We also reflect on the wisdom and perspective this journey has brought us, and we try to encourage anyone going through something similar to keep moving forward—there is light at the end of the tunnel.Thank you to my beautiful sister, friend, cousin Thando, doing this episode with you was so special. I love you. ________________________________Bible Verses 🤍 Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”🤍 1 Peter 5:7“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”________________________________Music[This Too Shall Pass] by Scott Buckley - released under CC-BY 4.0. www.scottbuckley.com.au________________________________

OH-Kay, let’s talk about it. In this episode, I speak about the topic of singlehood and what it means to me as a heterosexual woman. I talk about how I’ve embraced being single and why, for me, there’s minimal difference between being in a romantic relationship and being single. With my hyper-independence and a love language that isn’t particularly clingy, I’ve come to realise that being on my own doesn’t mean I’m missing out on anything. I reflect on how I wish I had waited a bit longer before jumping into relationships, as I’ve spent a lot of time, emotion, and energy that could have been better spent. But, I also acknowledge that those experiences have shaped the woman I am today. I share the privilege of having God reveal the true significance of romantic relationships and marriage, which has made me more intentional about dating. I encourage women and girls to hold firm to their standards, be realistic about their needs and wants, and most importantly, embrace the time spent alone to truly understand themselves. This episode also empowers women to push back against societal pressures that insist on being in a relationship by a certain age, reminding everyone that singlehood is not a deficit but a time to grow, reflect, and prepare for the future.

OH-Kay, Let’s Talk About It. Welcome to a journey of two decades of friendship. Phindi and I met unexpectedly , but from that moment, a bond was formed that has withstood the test of time and change. Through countless versions of ourselves, we’ve loved each other unconditionally, embracing every phase with open hearts and no judgment. This friendship has been nothing short of divine, and we truly believe that it was orchestrated by God. Over the years, we’ve never once felt ill-intent from one another, only pure and genuine love. Our connection is rooted in authenticity and mutual respect, and as we move forward, we continue to hold each other in the highest regard, with nothing but love and good intentions in our hearts. This podcast episode is a celebration of our journey, a testament to the power of true friendship, and a reminder that love and loyalty are the foundations of the most meaningful relationships._______________________________________Bible verses mentioned: 🤍 Proverbs 27:17says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”🤍 Proverbs 17:17says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity."_______________________________________Phindile Ndlovu’s Social Media: Business IG page: @phindils.simplicityandelegance Personal IG page: @PhindilsTikTok Business page: @PSE_hairandmakepTikTok Personal page: @Phindils_______________________________________

OH-Kay, Let’s Talk About It. How God is Helping With Suicidal Ideation | Part II ‼️Trigger Warning: This episode discusses suicide ideation, mental health struggles, and trauma.Listener discretion is advised.Welcome to Episode 10 of the Oh-Kay but seriously podcast! In this episode I will continue you my discussion on a deeply personal topic: my struggles with suicide ideation and how God has been healing me through this difficult journey.l'll cover:​Christian theological concept known as the Incarnation. ​The significance of the Bible verses I speak about in depth ​I answer how my state of mind is today ​What I practically did to enhance my Spiritual journey with the Lord & experience a divine breakthrough with the struggles of suicidal ideation Please be aware that this episode deals with sensitive subjects. 🦋Even if you are not a Christian, please give this episode a chance. There is so much I share about spirituality in general and some other less religious things I did to help me move out of the dark space I was within. _________________________________________Bible Verses:​John 1:14​Isaiah 55:8 - 9 ​Romans 8:38-39​Psalm 34:18​Psalm 55:22​Matthew 11:28-30​Isaiah 41:10​John 14:27​Philippians 4:6-7​Hebrews 10:24-25 ​Psalm 95:1​Galatians 6:2_________________________________________Bible Apps on Apple App Store ​Bible​Bible Chat (highly recommend) ​Pray.com​Enduring Word ​BeBlessed​Glorify _________________________________________Meditation Apps on Apple App Store​Aura ​Joy​Insight Timer (The apps suggested may be found on Playstore but my knowledge is limited to Apple users platform. Please note all the apps I have suggested are FREE, with the option to pay for more in-app features if desired). _________________________________________Suggested YouTube Video: Dr Felice Leonardo BuscagliaTitle: Only You Can Make A Difference Link: https://youtu.be/OZ2fe9rVlgg?si=SHMRj1ejTwZzko6U_________________________________________Music: 'This Too Shall Pass' [Bittersweet NeoclassicalCC-BY] - Scott Buckley [Non-copyright] _________________________________________FREE & ACCESSIBLE HELP AND SUPPORT (SOUTH AFRICA):​Lifeline Crisis Helpline: 0800456789​South African Depression & Anxiety group (SADAG) 011 234 48 37 - (24 hour helpline)​Cipla Mental Health Helpline: 0800456789​Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0800567567​Dr Reddy's Mental Health Helpline: 0800 21 22 23​Adcock Ingram Depression & Anxiety Helpline: 080070 80 90 _________________________________________MY ONLINE PRIVATE PRACTICE:SerenitySpectrum Counsellinghttps://linktr.ee/sereniityspectrumIG:@serenityspectrumcounselling

OH-Kay, Let’s Talk About It.‼️Trigger Warning: This episode discusses suicide ideation, mental health struggles, and trauma.Listener discretion is advised.Welcome to Episode 9 of the Oh-Kay but seriously podcast! In this episode, I'll be discussing a deeply personal topic: my struggles with suicide ideation and how God has been healing me through this difficult journey.l'll cover:• What suicide ideation is• When it started for me• The behaviours I experienced when the ideation got more intense. • Why I never went through with it• What in my Christian journey helped heal me• If I still struggle with it todayPlease be aware that this episode deals with sensitive subjects, including both passive and active suicidal ideation. I'll explain the difference between them and share how my faith and therapy_________________________________________FREE & ACCESSIBLE HELP AND SUPPORT (SOUTH AFRICA):• Lifeline Crisis Helpline: 0800456789Cipla Mental Health Helpline: 0800456789Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0800567567• Dr Reddy's Mental Health Helpline: 0800 21 22 23Adcock Ingram Depression & Anxiety Helpline:080070 80 90• Cipla Mental Health: 076 882 2775• South African Depression & Anxiety group(SADAG) 011 234 48 37 - (24 hour helpline)_________________________________________MY ONLINE PRIVATE PRACTICE:SerenitySpectrum Counsellinghttps://linktr.ee/sereniityspectrumIG:@serenityspectrumcounselling

OH-Kay, Let’s Talk About It. What I Have Learnt As a Specialist Wellness Counsellor Thus FarIn this episode, I delve into the valuable lessons l've learned throughout my journey as a specialist wellness counsellor. As a registered counsellor with my own online practice, Serenity Spectrum Counselling, and an aspiring psychologist, mental health is something I'm truly passionate about.I'll share insights that might resonate with you, but I also encourage you to stay open-minded as we explore some common misconceptions about counselling, such as the belief that it's only for times of crisis. You'll hear about the importance of finding the right counsellor, the power of truly listening, and why healing is rarely a straight path.From understanding the depth of human resilience to recognising that everyone is doing the best they can in their own way, l'll reflect on some of the most profound lessons l've learned. I also discuss why you don't have to choose between prayer and counselling, why emotions are valid but not always straightforward, and why there's no one-size-fits-all approach to therapy.If you've ever wondered what it's really like on the other side of the counselling chair, this episode is for you. Tune in for a heartfelt exploration of the complexities of healing, growth, and self-discovery.__________________________________________MY ONLINE PRIVATE PRACTICE: SerenitySpectrum Counselling ⬇️https://linktr.ee/sereniityspectrumIG: @serenityspectrumcounselling __________________________________________FREE & ACCESSIBLE HELP AND SUPPORT (SOUTH AFRICA): * Lifeline Crisis Helpline: 0800456789* Cipla Mental Health Helpline: 0800456789* Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0800567567* Dr Reddy's Mental Health Helpline: 0800 21 22 23* Adcock Ingram Depression & Anxiety Helpline:080070 80 90* Cipla Mental Health: 076 882 2775* South African Depression & Anxiety group(SADAG) 011 234 48 37 - (24 hour helpline)

OH-Kay, Let’s Talk About It. In this episode, I’m going into my struggles with “body dysmorphia” and “bulimia”, though I want to stress that I’m using these terms loosely. I’m not referring to the clinical definitions, but rather sharing my personal experiences with these issues in a more casual sense. I’ve spoken about difficult topics before, but I think this one is particularly deep for me.Growing up as a curvy Black South African girl came with its own set of challenges when it comes to body image. In my late 20s, I’ve realised just how much cultural, social, and personal factors have shaped how I view my body. In South Africa, like many places, there’s a certain beauty ideal that is often very different from my natural body type, and it’s hard not to internalise those messages.The conflicting cultural identity I grew up with also plays a big part in how I see myself. And of course, growing up, there was the teasing and the rejection that comes with having a body that doesn’t fit the norm, which leaves scars that can persist well into adulthood.These experiences have left me hypercritical of my appearance, often obsessing over minor flaws. It’s a feeling that’s hard to shake, and it can lead to anxiety and even avoidance of social situations where my body image concerns might be triggered. But healing, I’ve learned, requires redefining beauty on my own terms and coming to terms with my cultural identity. Therapy, too, has been a crucial part of understanding and addressing these issues. It’s an ongoing journey, but I’m grateful for the support and for the chance to share this with all of you.

OH-Kay, Let’s Talk About It. In Episode 6 of my podcast, I dive into the topic of emotional and psychological abuse, exploring how it manifests in different relationships—whether romantic, with family, or with friends. I break down what emotional abuse really is: the subtle yet deeply damaging manipulation, control, and degradation that can occur when someone uses power to harm your mental and emotional well-being. Through personal anecdotes and insights, I share my experiences and discuss the signs to look out for, from gaslighting and idolisation to constant criticism and guilt-tripping. I also explore how this abuse can look different in each type of relationship and the impact it can have on one's sense of self-worth and mental health. This episode is a raw and honest conversation about recognising and confronting emotional abuse. ______________________________________Song: Roll The Dice by Romanciigar

OH-Kay, Let’s Talk About It. An emotionally abusive relationship is one where one person manipulates, controls, or belittles the other, causing emotional harm. This can include behaviors like constant criticism, humiliation, isolation, gaslighting, or making the person feel worthless or powerless.In Episode 5 I speak about how emotional abuse isn't confined to romantic relationships-it can happen in any situation where one person seeks to dominate or undermine another emotionally. Before I get to the aftermath of this topic. I want to speak about the experience of being within this type of situation. How it begins and it continues. Part I I stretch the surface and proceed to speak about my personal experience of being in multiple emotionally abusive romantic relationships. __________________________________________Song Name: Don’t Play With Me By Romanciigar

OH-Kay, Let’s Talk About It. Imposter syndrome is when people feel like they're not as competent or capable as others think they are, often feeling like a "fraud" or that they don’t deserve their success. Despite evidence of their achievements, they doubt their abilities and fear being "found out." It can happen to anyone, especially when facing new challenges or roles, and it can lead to stress, anxiety, or a lack of self-confidence. Essentially, it's the feeling that you’re not living up to expectations, even though others see you as successful or skilled. In Episode 4, I dive into how imposter syndrome shows up in various areas of my life & I answer if I am really faking it or this is my truth. This episode is all over the place in a good way. Tune in & let me know what you think.

OH-Kay, Let’s Talk About It. This episode was incredibly raw and vulnerable for me to record. In episode 3, I open up about how my diagnosed depression and anxiety have impacted my relationships—whether with friends, family, romantic partners, coworkers, or even strangers I wanted to connect with but couldn’t because of my mental health. It’s a tough conversation to have because I don’t want to make excuses for my behavior, but I also want people to understand that it’s not always black-and-white. Mental illness is so often misunderstood, and I really wish more people would take the time to learn about it and work on building their emotional intelligence around this issue._________________________________________________Song Name: Don’t Play With Me By Romanciigar

OH-Kay, Let’s Talk About It. In this episode, I reflect on my roots, sharing the story of where I truly come from and the people whose love helped shape me. I explore how the collision of two worlds gave me the unique life experiences that have allowed me to thrive in so many diverse environments. I feel deeply blessed to have been influenced by such varied communities, all thanks to the love story of these two individuals. Tune in for Episode Two._________________________________________Follow me on IG: @Kay_Khuzwayo (https:// www.instagram.com/kay_khuzwayo?igsh=ZG9jbjlvNWIzMzlw)TikTok @KayKhuzwayo (www.tiktok.com/@kaykhuzwayo) for more!_________________________________________Music By: RomanCiigarSong Name: Roll The DiceIG: @Romanciigar (https://www.instagram.com/romanciigar?igsh=ODh0Y2Zvc3B0aWZv)Apple Music:https://music.apple.com/za/artist/roman-%0Acligar/1551446770

OH-Kay, Let’s Talk About It. Self-identity is the way a person defines and perceives themselves. It’s a combination of beliefs, values, roles, and experiences that shape how we view who we are. It’s influenced by both internal factors (like personality, thoughts, and feelings) and external ones (such as relationships, culture, and societal expectations). Our sense of self-identity can evolve over time as we grow, experience new things, or face different challenges. Essentially, it’s how we answer the question, "Who am I?" and it guides our actions, choices, and interactions with the world. In Episode 1 we explore some insecurities that have manifested within the podcast journey and we delve into the many identity crisis that one can experience when entering a new journey. Anyways…here is Episode One. _____________________________________Follow me on IG: @Kay_Khuzwayo (https://www.instagram.com/kay_khuzwayo?igsh=ZG9jbjlvNWIzMzlw) & TikTok @KayKhuzwayo (www.tiktok.com/@kaykhuzwayo) for more!_____________________________________Music By: RomanCiigarIG: @Romanciigar (https://www.instagram.com/romanciigar?igsh=ODh0Y2Zvc3B0aWZv)Apple Music:https://music.apple.com/za/artist/roman-%0Aciigar/1551446770

OH-Kay, But Seriously-a podcast where we talk about all the big (and sometimes awkward) stuff: love, mental health, personal growth, and everything in between.I want this to be a serious-but-not-so-serious podcast. An open and raw conversation on... well... anything. From the my comfort space to yours.___________________________________________________Follow me on IG: @Kay_Khuzwayo & TikTok @KayKhuzwayo for more!___________________________________________________Music By: RomanCiigarIG: @RomanciigarApple Music: https://music.apple.com/za/artist/roman-ciigar/1551446770