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Oh These, Those Stars of Space!
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Oh These, Those Stars of Space!

Author: Bucket of Milk

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Far beyond the frontier of civilized space, sails the starship the CSS Cavalier, manned by her strange and daring crew. Their destination? Adventure. Their cargo? Your dang ears. Their mission? Episodic science fiction comedy at the intersection of Star Trek, Douglas Adams, and the Marquis DeSade. From the same people who birthed unto you the blockbuster true-crime podcast Rude Tales of Magic comes a new and improvised sci-fi (science fiction) delight that has already been banned in most public schools and the Vatican.
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Hello, Dear Audience!   It's me, Joe Lepore- the one who says 'Wow' at the beginning of every episode, with a special announcement. Are you sitting down? Well stand up because it's going to be ok. The show isn't over. If you've listened to the Trek Draft or seen Tim's many tweets about becoming a hot air balloon guy, you know some exciting life changes have been happening behind the scenes at Bucket of Milk.   So what does that mean for Oh These, Those Stars of Space? Well, starting next month, These Those will be going monthly, sticking to our one Patreon episode every month. If you're already a Patron, that's great! Nothing changes, you still get the brand-new episode every month that you're subscribed for.   Not on the Patreon but wanna keep hearing new These Those? See what's happening with Deremeth, Dr Dewey, and the rest? Well then click that link in the show notes and subscribe, it will be the only place to hear the latest adventures on the CSS Cavalier! The existing episodes in the free feed will remain there, as well as monthly previews, but new full episodes are going to be exclusively on Patreon.   So what are you waiting for? For only 5 dollars a month you help support the funniest and most physically attractive talents in podcasting, and get access to the continuing saga of Oh These Those Stars of Space. We'll see you over there! Ok you can sit back down now. Galactically,Joe
Moon of the Cats

Moon of the Cats

2024-05-3001:15:48

When Ship's Dentist and most-humanoid cat person Dr Surgery (Branson Reese) invites fellow feline officers Chestershire (Ali Fisher) and Marvin Blond (Tim Platt) on a top-secret away mission, it's really anyone's guess what could be waiting for them on a distant moon, just a cryo-sleep away! Plus, a special cameo from Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese).Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks.And follow us on twitter, but only if you like pleasure, at @ohthesethoseOh These, Those Stars of Space is powered by Lasers & Feelings, the perfect ttrpg, by the brilliant John HarperThe Oh These, Those Stars of Space Theme was created, arranged, and composed by Huge Today. We like it too! Thank you for saying that!.Additional music and sound design from the great Michael Ghelfi. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon. 
Boboli (Carly Monardo), Guy Normal (Branson Reese), and ship's Olympian Gene Lime (Tim Platt) meet two alien species that just can't get along. Who will come out on top? Who will end up with a wad of poison money in their mouth? And who will enjoy some delicious fruit? All this and more on tonight's OH THESE THOSE STARS OF SPAAAACE!To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content, Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks.  Follow us on twitter, but only if you like pleasure, at @ohthesethoseOh These, Those Stars of Space is powered by Lasers & Feelings, the perfect ttrpg, by the brilliant John HarperThe Oh These, Those Stars of Space Theme was created, arranged, and composed by Huge Today. We like it too! Thank you for saying that!.Additional music and sound design from the great Michael Ghelfi. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon. 
Rip Van Winkle (Tim Platt) is-what else?- dreaming, when he summoned by former foe Snoozebo (Joe Lepore) of the Cavalier to aid him in a dangerous quest to save the Dream Realm. And who shall Rip turn to in this dark hour? Why, Deremeth (Ali Fisher) and Clinton Bodycount (Branson Reese) are free!Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks.And follow us on twitter, but only if you like pleasure, at @ohthesethoseOh These, Those Stars of Space is powered by Lasers & Feelings, the perfect ttrpg, by the brilliant John HarperThe Oh These, Those Stars of Space Theme was created, arranged, and composed by Huge Today. We like it too! Thank you for saying that!.Additional music and sound design from the great Michael Ghelfi. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon. 
The Old Ship

The Old Ship

2024-04-2501:01:00

When the Cavalier receives a mysterious distress signal, Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), Begonia Bloodterror (Christopher Hastings), and Billy Onassis (Branson Reese) head to investigate a derelict ship. But do they have the experience and maturity needed to uncover its secrets? Or will they gain it extremely quickly?Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks.And follow us on twitter, but only if you like pleasure, at @ohthesethoseOh These, Those Stars of Space is powered by Lasers & Feelings, the perfect ttrpg, by the brilliant John HarperThe Oh These, Those Stars of Space Theme was created, arranged, and composed by Huge Today. We like it too! Thank you for saying that!.Additional music and sound design from the great Michael Ghelfi. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon. 
When Pluto Cloud-Atlas (Christopher Hastings) brings Scandal (Carly Monardo), Groomda (Tim Platt), and Chestershire (Ali Fisher) to the idyllic world of Jessbo-2, all he can hope for is that the Jessbens have totally normal laws that none of the crew violate!To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content, Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks.  Follow us on twitter, but only if you like pleasure, at @ohthesethoseOh These, Those Stars of Space is powered by Lasers & Feelings, the perfect ttrpg, by the brilliant John HarperThe Oh These, Those Stars of Space Theme was created, arranged, and composed by Huge Today. We like it too! Thank you for saying that!.Additional music and sound design from the great Michael Ghelfi. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.  
Just when he thought it was safe in the Galaxy, Delicious Donald (Branson Reese) arrives in his personal hell. Meanwhile, Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo) and Mitzi Festerchild (Ali Fisher) investigate a series of strange disappearances on the planet's only settlement.Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks.And follow us on twitter, but only if you like pleasure, at @ohthesethoseOh These, Those Stars of Space is powered by Lasers & Feelings, the perfect ttrpg, by the brilliant John HarperThe Oh These, Those Stars of Space Theme was created, arranged, and composed by Huge Today. We like it too! Thank you for saying that!.Additional music and sound design from the great Michael Ghelfi. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon. 
Spring has sprung, so it's no better time for a seasonal special, baby!! Join Joe, Ali, Chris, and Branson as they draft their dream Trek bridge crew, chat about Vulcans, oh and make one incredible surprise announcement. Don't miss it!TREK DRAFT RULESThis will be a snake draft.You will draft a crew of 7 officers to helm your StarshipYour crew must fill the following roles: Captain, Executive Officer/Security Officer, Science Officer, Ship’s Doctor, Chief Engineer, a ‘soft skills’ officer (Guinan, Neelix, Uhura), and a Wildcard (Wesley, Nog, someone else from another role).These roles may be drafted in any order, but failure to draft each of these positions will result in an invalid draft slate and immediate ejection from the draft.Babylon Who? Battlestar Galacti-what? Only characters from Star Trek series and films are eligible for this draft. Firefly is in the jar! Han Solo? A no-no!The JJ Decree: Eligible series and movies for this draft must take place in what is commonly understood as the main Star Trek universe. The JJ Abrams versions of characters are not eligible.For each slot, the character must reasonably be able to serve in that role. For example: Beverly Crusher could conceivably serve as your Captain, but Jean-Luc Picard could not be your Doctor.Quark’s on the bridge? Trek characters who are not Federation officers but could serve in these roles are eligible. These characters are also eligible to be wildcards.Distribution: Your crew cannot come exclusively from one series.Draft Exclusivity: Once you draft a character, no other player may draft that character to their crew. This includes time travel/Mirror Universe/alternate future counterparts.Sulu’s Rule: If a character has multiple jobs over the course of their Starfleet career, that does not mean they are eligible multiple times. If Player A drafts Sulu as their helmsman, Player B cannot draft movie Sulu as their Captain, etc.Combs’s Bylaw: Different characters played by the same actor are eligible to be drafted alongside each other or by different players. Player A could draft Weyoun and Brunt (both played by Jeffrey Combs) if they so choose.Uhura’s Corollary: When a single character is played by different actors, those different performances are considered one (1) character. If TOS Uhura is drafted, Strange New Worlds Uhura is ineligible.The Riker Exception: Because William Riker gets split into two people in that one episode and his double, Thomas Riker goes on to live a separate, individual life from the point of that split, for the purposes of this Draft both Rikers are eligible.You are allowed to name your ship.You heard right!  The whole cast is doing a LIVE SHOW AT THE BELL HOUSE IN BROOKLYN ON MARCH 30TH.  Rude Tales of Magic: Lent Enders!  Buy your tickets now!!Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks.And follow us on twitter, but only if you like pleasure, at @ohthesethoseOh These, Those Stars of Space is powered by Lasers & Feelings, the perfect ttrpg, by the brilliant John HarperThe Oh These, Those Stars of Space Theme was created, arranged, and composed by Huge Today. We like it too! Thank you for saying that!.Additional music and sound design from the great Michael Ghelfi. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.  
When Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo) is tasked with planning the Bachelorette Party for Meredith Chesterfield (Ali Fisher), she naturally invites Meredith's best fried, Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt). But when Gelmire agrees to be 'just Meredith's friend' for the weekend, will an alluring suitor (Joe Lepore) come between them?You heard right!  The whole cast is doing a LIVE SHOW AT THE BELL HOUSE IN BROOKLYN ON MARCH 30TH.  Rude Tales of Magic: Lent Enders!  Buy your in-person AND LIVESTREAM tickets now!!To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content, Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks.  Follow us on twitter, but only if you like pleasure, at @ohthesethoseOh These, Those Stars of Space is powered by Lasers & Feelings, the perfect ttrpg, by the brilliant John HarperThe Oh These, Those Stars of Space Theme was created, arranged, and composed by Huge Today. We like it too! Thank you for saying that!.Additional music and sound design from the great Michael Ghelfi. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon. 
Cold Case

Cold Case

2024-03-1401:01:41

When the CSS Cavalier crosses paths with a centuries-old human spacecraft, Groomda (Tim Platt), Dr Dewey (Christopher Hastings), and Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo) lead the investigation. But what if, there in strange spacebound time capsule, there was a still-working cryopod, preserving an ancient spacefarer? What secrets could they share of the past? What horrors?You heard right!  The whole cast is doing a LIVE SHOW AT THE BELL HOUSE IN BROOKLYN ON MARCH 30TH.  Rude Tales of Magic: Lent Enders!  Buy your tickets now!!Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks.And follow us on twitter, but only if you like pleasure, at @ohthesethoseOh These, Those Stars of Space is powered by Lasers & Feelings, the perfect ttrpg, by the brilliant John HarperThe Oh These, Those Stars of Space Theme was created, arranged, and composed by Huge Today. We like it too! Thank you for saying that!.Additional music and sound design from the great Michael Ghelfi. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon. 
What would happen, one wonders, if that villainous mastermind Darkly Gameover (Joe Lepore), hacked into the CSS Cavalier holozone to create a series of deathtraps to test Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese) and Mitzi Festerchild (Ali Fisher)? Would they rise to the occasion? Would they get stuck in the first deathtrap and in the interest of time Darkly would be forced to jettison the rest? One wonders!!You heard right!  The whole cast is doing a LIVE SHOW AT THE BELL HOUSE IN BROOKLYN ON MARCH 30TH.  Rude Tales of Magic: Lent Enders!  Buy your tickets now!!Follow us on twitter, but only if you like pleasure, at @ohthesethoseOh These, Those Stars of Space is powered by Lasers & Feelings, the perfect ttrpg, by the brilliant John HarperThe Oh These, Those Stars of Space Theme was created, arranged, and composed by Huge Today. We like it too! Thank you for saying that!.Additional music and sound design from the great Michael Ghelfi. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon. 
Sown the Future Part Two

Sown the Future Part Two

2024-02-2301:09:03

Reeling from the events of last episode, Begonia Bloodterror (Chris Hastings) and his time-travelling companions Vee (Carly Monardo) and Oberon Coaxial (Branson Reese) race across dystopian Antarctica to stop Begonia's son's evil plan. But will the aid of a shocking ally be enough to help save the day? All this and the continuing adventures of Gleep Glorp (Joe Lepore). You heard right!  The whole cast is doing a LIVE SHOW AT THE BELL HOUSE IN BROOKLYN ON MARCH 30TH.  Rude Tales of Magic: Lent Enders!  Buy your tickets now!!And don't miss Tim's TEETH LIKE BEAK LIVE ALBUM RECORDING on FEBRUARY 29th! Early Show: TicketsLate Show: TicketsJoin our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks.And follow us on twitter, but only if you like pleasure, at @ohthesethoseOh These, Those Stars of Space is powered by Lasers & Feelings, the perfect ttrpg, by the brilliant John HarperThe Oh These, Those Stars of Space Theme was created, arranged, and composed by Huge Today. We like it too! Thank you for saying that!.Additional music and sound design from the great Michael Ghelfi. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon. 
Sown the Future

Sown the Future

2024-02-1654:23

When ship's Tactician Begonia BloodTerror (Christopher Hastings), is brought to the future by some time-lost compatriots Vestavi-er, Vee, and Oberon Coaxial (Carly Monardo and Branson Reese), his hopes for a wonderful utopia are dashed. No, I'm afraid the future is not a wonderful utopia, dear listener- it's a bad *dystopia*!! But what is Begonia's personal connection to all this? And what if the dystopia doesn't seem so bad to him? All this and the exciting debut of Gleep Glorp (Joe Lepore)! You heard right!  The whole cast is doing a LIVE SHOW AT THE BELL HOUSE IN BROOKLYN ON MARCH 30TH.  Rude Tales of Magic: Lent Enders!  Buy your tickets now!!And don't miss Tim's TEETH LIKE BEAK LIVE ALBUM RECORDING on FEBRUARY 29th! Early Show: TicketsLate Show: TicketsJoin our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks.And follow us on twitter, but only if you like pleasure, at @ohthesethoseOh These, Those Stars of Space is powered by Lasers & Feelings, the perfect ttrpg, by the brilliant John HarperThe Oh These, Those Stars of Space Theme was created, arranged, and composed by Huge Today. We like it too! Thank you for saying that!.Additional music and sound design from the great Michael Ghelfi. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon. 
When Scandal (Carly Monardo) and Charity (Ali Fisher) are summoned to their High School reunion, will they recapture the glory of youth? Rekindle old flames? Discover childhood secrets? All that and more??? PLUS: Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt) seeks professional advice.Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks.And follow us on twitter, but only if you like pleasure, at @ohthesethoseOh These, Those Stars of Space is powered by Lasers & Feelings, the perfect ttrpg, by the brilliant John HarperThe Oh These, Those Stars of Space Theme was created, arranged, and composed by Huge Today. We like it too! Thank you for saying that!.Additional music and sound design from the great Michael Ghelfi. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon. 
In order to pass through a dangerous Correxian checkpoint, the CSS Cavalier is shrunk down to the size of a coin, and escorted secretly by Dr. Dewey (Christopher Hastings) and Klaus Kitski (Branson Reese). With the lives of everyone aboard the ship in their literal hands, will Dewey and Klaus rise to the occasion? Or will their checkered pasts come back to haunt them?To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content (like that screenshot Branson mentions), Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks. Follow us on twitter, but only if you like pleasure, at @ohthesethoseOh These, Those Stars of Space is powered by Lasers & Feelings, the perfect ttrpg, by the brilliant John HarperThe Oh These, Those Stars of Space Theme was created, arranged, and composed by Huge Today. We like it too! Thank you for saying that!.Additional music and sound design from the great Michael Ghelfi. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon. 
Hyperlift Lost

Hyperlift Lost

2024-01-1101:09:20

When Dr Dewey (Christopher Hastings), Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo), and Guy Normal (Branson Reese), get stuck in a hyperlift aboard the CSS Cavalier, everyone decides to do the sensible thing and calmly wait until help arrives. Or do they???Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks.And follow us on twitter, but only if you like pleasure, at @ohthesethoseOh These, Those Stars of Space is powered by Lasers & Feelings, the perfect ttrpg, by the brilliant John HarperThe Oh These, Those Stars of Space Theme was created, arranged, and composed by Huge Today. We like it too! Thank you for saying that!.Additional music and sound design from the great Michael Ghelfi. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon. 
It's a bird! It's a plane! No...it's a podcast!It's the end of the year, and as we kick back and relax, Joe, Carly, and Tim gather round that cosmic fire with a mug of hot cocoa and DRAFT THEIR FAVORITE ALIENS. Who will have the best crew of creatures from beyond the stars when the dust settles? Listen and find out, please!Missing the usual OTTSS adventures? You can hear last week's episode if you Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks.And follow us on twitter, but only if you like pleasure, at @ohthesethoseOh These, Those Stars of Space is powered by Lasers & Feelings, the perfect ttrpg, by the brilliant John HarperThe Oh These, Those Stars of Space Theme was created, arranged, and composed by Huge Today. We like it too! Thank you for saying that!.Additional music and sound design from the great Michael Ghelfi. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon. 
When Ensign Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), Ship's Cat Chestershire (Ali Fisher), and Ship's Mortician Clinton Bodycount (Branson Reese), need emergency shuttlecraft repairs on the abandoned mining planet SilvGold-7, they find themselves in a *gulp* ghost town. But surely the local legend of a ghostly miner who haunts the mines is nothing more than a spooky story...isn't it? For our heroes' sake, I hope so.To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content (like that screenshot Branson mentions), Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks. Follow us on twitter, but only if you like pleasure, at @ohthesethoseOh These, Those Stars of Space is powered by Lasers & Feelings, the perfect ttrpg, by the brilliant John HarperThe Oh These, Those Stars of Space Theme was created, arranged, and composed by Huge Today. We like it too! Thank you for saying that!.Additional music and sound design from the great Michael Ghelfi. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon. 
The Grand Oomda

The Grand Oomda

2023-12-1454:58

It seems like a pretty typical day for the CSS Cavalier's chief scientist/tentacle monster Groomda (Tim Platt), until a mysterious figure from Groomda's past (Christopher Hastings) arrives to call him home. Will he leave his new life behind? Meanwhile, can Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese) win the heart of Princess Tyrexibeth??Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks.And follow us on twitter, but only if you like pleasure, at @ohthesethoseOh These, Those Stars of Space is powered by Lasers & Feelings, the perfect ttrpg, by the brilliant John HarperThe Oh These, Those Stars of Space Theme was created, arranged, and composed by Huge Today. We like it too! Thank you for saying that!.Additional music and sound design from the great Michael Ghelfi. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon. 
AbNormal

AbNormal

2023-11-3001:00:16

The holidays have arrived at the CSS Cavalier, so naturally Ship's Event Planner Marvin Blond (Tim Platt) is on hand to host a preview of Delicious Donald's (Branson Reese) latest wintertime confections. But when adorable orphan Boboli (Carly Monardo) notices something strange about Guy Normal, well, who knows what could happen! I can't believe we get to make this show! Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all of them now! Go! Hurry! It's only five bucks.And follow us on twitter, but only if you like pleasure, at @ohthesethoseOh These, Those Stars of Space is powered by Lasers & Feelings, the perfect ttrpg, by the brilliant John HarperThe Oh These, Those Stars of Space Theme was created, arranged, and composed by Huge Today. We like it too! Thank you for saying that!.Additional music and sound design from the great Michael Ghelfi. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.  
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Comments (1)

emily rose

😭😭😭😭😭

May 31st
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