Join Oneurope's Phil Colclough on another compilation of his internet radio smash hit (in his own head) - Three minutes in Rotterdam with reviews from days 6-8 of open rehearsals in Rotterdam
Fresh and exciting and new and smelling not at all like a pair of your old undies, Let Phil guide you through Day 5 in the big Eurovision House
1-2-3-4 you say Phil? Why yes, yes I do. This is the OnEurope radio show " Three minutes in Rotterdam" that I am producing for various internet radios around the place and, as for now, You, my webcast European children. This is a mega 12 minutes comprising the first 4 shows... Don't panic about the silence at the beginning - your webmaster in chief forgot to unmute the intro track!
After a small Hiatus cos of "Hospital innit" a now recovering Mr Phil guides you through the second half of the 1997 contest in a way only he can. Explicit language, dodgy styling choices and bad singing await - and that's just from his writing team, let alone anyone else!
Welcome, welcome, welcome home to.... well... this lot of shenanigans!1997 was the one hold over from last year when things took a turn but we're back with our usual brand of mental and nuts references that only 0.6 percent of you will understand, and that's cool, you're our type of people. Contains explicit language and offensive Ralph Siegel.
Well what did you expect me to call it? ;) I've tried to silence Corrine Hermes in this one and I think i've done that so we should be ok... Though this does contain Tora Zo and a diatribe about Kate O'Mara and a cross channel ferry so... listen at your own risk. Rated PG - but no parent would ever choose to let you listen!
Back to something near modernity for this one with a contest that is *only* 38 years old.... jesus wept, kill me now! But not before Mr Phil and team have explored the first half of this damn contest... And why yes, we don't like Luxembourg 1983, what makes you think that?! Contains intermittent swearing and intermittant Corrine Hermes, sorry about that.
So after a slight hiatus for recovery, Phil, his writing team and a sharper voiced than usual Alexia ( Clearly she's been on the Lockets) finish wading through the treacle that is the second half of 1967. For a contest that isnt that exciting, we've made another 40 minutes of listening pleasure. Aren't you glad we're here. Warning - Contains references to shady characters with a criminal past - sorry bout that!
So, in-between panicking about his surgery and being bored senseless by the Joost situation, Mr Phil, Alexia and his writing team bad a call from Media's Lisa-Jayne Lewis saying " Do 1967 now" - and as she scares the bejesus out of us, who are we to disappoint her?! Nine songs we've sat through so you don't have to and we've cast our eye over them in our usual manner. Explicit warning - there are gratuitous references that the Eurotwinks may not understand...
OnEurope's Phil Colclough, Media's Lisa-Jayne Lewis and Mission Eurovision's Anna Ferguson chew the fat about the first Semi-Final of this year's Eurovision Song Contest, Hear us guffaw as we tell you, our European Children, precisely what we think of some songwriters efforts to entertain Europe on a Tuesday night in May!
In the final podcast of the series Mr Phil finally gets round to finishing 1996 off after his jollies at Junior Eurovision. Join Mr Scrooge, Bob Cratchett and the ghosts of Alexia Past, present and future, as they wend their way through the back end (fnarr) of 1996. You know you wanna listen!
Well its the second part - but you know what I mean !! Mr Phil and his writing team guide you through the snoozefest that SOME people think 1996 is... At 75 miniutes it's a big one (Missus!) So you might need to get some drinks in.... or work out what the hell imma talking about - your choice.!
Mr Phil and his Halloween inspired writing team have decided to tackle the behemoth that is the 1996 contest and where better to start than with the songs that failed to qualify at all for Oslo, thus saving themselves squillions of moneys on a beer that you can only buy in a supermarket up to 8pm at night! - I'm still not bitter. WARNING - This podcast contains unwanted Germany - sorry about that!
In another long one - not a Euphemism - Mr Phil takes a deep dive back into the archives and picks up where last month's left off - specifically in the Salle Lys Assia at about 10pm local time on a Saturday in May 1989. The last 11 entries get the treatment here. There will be mild swearing in this one - a strop - some unfathomable ITV references and all the other things you have come to know and loathe!
Well after 1978 went down like a knee in a sandwich, we have moved on to 1989 where the songs have improved - even if the aim of the interval act hasn't. Join Mr Phil and his perplexed writing team as they meander through the first 11 songs of 1989 with wit, humour and their own take on your favourite television spectacle of 1989. WARNING - This podcast contains both slight bad language and unannounced Jose Cid.
Considering Mr Phil thinks that this contest is "Challenging" He's managed to talk about it for another 67 minutes - jesus it can't take that long to say " it's shit" can it? Of *course* there is more to it than that, as always, so join the team as they shimmy their way through some bad costume and lighting choices.... oh and 1978 as well!
So, Mr Phil is back, with the help of his desheveled writing team, to bring you the delights of Eurovision's past... with a twist This time the gang try to keep awake as they wade through the treacle that is the first half of the 1978 contest and try to keep awake. They must have found something to talk about, there is over an hour of goodness! Please note - there might be mild swearing and exasperation so listener discretion is advised.... not cos of the swear words, but cos of the songs!
In the last of this present run ( i know - but six is plenty) Phil goes for the longest time so far (fnarr) telling you why Estonia won the 2001 Eurovision Song Contest... I believe there were other songs in the second half of this contest but we don't care about them. You do? Well listen on then!
Mr Phil has been slaving away, so you don't have to, in order to get 2001 out of the way before the turn of the year... HRT Trolling and more Mr Phil especially him? - If you know, you know! Contains mild swearing and songs of an awful nature. I bet you can't wait!
It's the second half of 1981 - Have you swapped shirts at half time? So we couldn't leave the second half of 1981 left undone - so we get to it now... How on earth did the UK win? Why is the Netherlands so hideous? All this *and* less will be answered within... Note - Mild Swearing and hideous singing is contained within this podcast.