Our Rough Draft

In this episode of Our Rough Draft, Denise and Tim talk about their recent trip to Seattle and what it stirred up about place, memory, spontaneity, and the way our worlds can slowly get smaller if we are not intentional about expanding them.Together, they reflect on returning to Madison Park, visiting Pike Place Market, riding a ferry to Vashon, and remembering the places they loved when they lived in Washington. What begins as a conversation about travel becomes a larger reflection on routines, flexibility, family life, and the difference between having a list of things you want to do and locking yourself into a plan.The conversation also moves into marriage, people-pleasing, and the way unspoken expectations can create tension. Denise and Tim talk honestly about what happens when one person offers an idea and waits for someone else to “volley” it back, and why asking clearly for what we need can feel harder than it should.Along the way we talk about:Returning to Seattle after years awayMadison Park, Pike Place Market, and familiar drives from earlier seasonsWhy we sometimes stop visiting the places we loveHow parenting, work, and routines can shape the size of our worldWanting to be a visitor in your own townChoosing flexibility over being locked into every event or planThe difference between a list and a planWhy dinner is somehow still hard after 30 yearsAdventure cards, botanical gardens, museums, restaurants, and local exploringFerry boats, spontaneity, and the magic of wandering without a tight agendaMaking space to inhabit places instead of just passing through themThe tension between people-pleasing and asking for what you needHow unspoken expectations show up in marriage and family lifeThe idea of “serving” an invitation and needing someone to volley it backWhy direct communication can feel like being bossy when you are trying not to take up too much spaceWhether you are planning a trip, trying to explore your own town, or learning how to say what you need more clearly, this conversation is an invitation to make the list, loosen the plan, and choose the experiences that help your world stay open.

In this episode of Our Rough Draft, Denise and Tim celebrate the start of year two by asking what it means to still be a rough draft.Together, they talk about confidence, belonging, work, aging, marriage, parenting adult children, and the parts of ourselves we are still learning how to bring into the room. Denise reflects on the experience of feeling like she had to prove her worth in certain spaces, while Tim shares what he is working on in this season, including caring for his health so his world can stay big.The conversation also moves into marketing your own voice, the way organizations often miss the fullness of the people inside them, and the practice of showing up for each other in marriage without keeping score.Along the way we talk about:- Beginning year two of Our Rough Draft- Why the name “rough draft” still feels true- Confidence, belonging, and feeling like you have a seat at the table- The difference between contributing and proving your worth- Denise’s research on connection, contribution, collaboration, and competence- Showing up as a human first in leadership, work, and relationships- Tim’s desire to stay healthy and keep his world big- Marketing a book, a voice, and a body of work with integrity- Why access matters when people are looking for resources and support- The possibility of inviting guests to share their own rough drafts- Adjusting to new work rhythms and changing definitions of success- Productivity, capacity, technology, and the complexity of modern work- Showing up for each other in marriage without keeping score- Parenting adult children as an ongoing rough draft- Lifelong learning, creativity, and trying new things without needing to be perfectWhether you’re stepping into a new season, learning how to show up more fully, or wondering what part of your life is still in draft mode, this conversation is an invitation to keep becoming without hustling to prove you belong.

In this episode, Denise and Tim celebrate Tim’s 55th birthday and use the occasion to think about birthdays, memory, family stories, and the ways we mark time together.Together, they reflect on the birthdays they remember most, why some memories stay vivid while others disappear, and how years of parenting, deployment, work, and ordinary life can blur together. Along the way, they talk about the value of photo albums and family yearbooks, the beauty of handwritten captions, and the story of Denise’s great-grandmother saying she kept her memories in “a cottage on the beach.”The conversation also moves into what it means to celebrate well, why some people quietly want to be celebrated but struggle to ask for it, and how ordinary lives still hold stories worth telling.Along the way we talk about:Tim turning 55Why childhood birthday memories can be hard to accessThe first birthdays Tim remembers as a fatherDenise’s favorite birthday trip to ItalyCelebrating through travel, food, wine, and shared experiencesHow deployment years shaped memory and family lifeWriting memoir as a way to recover and preserve storiesThe value of family photo albums and yearbooksGranny’s “cottage on the beach” where she kept her memoriesWhy ordinary stories still matterThe tension between wanting celebration and asking for itMaking memories around graduations, transitions, and the empty nestWhether you’re celebrating a birthday, looking back through old photos, or wondering which moments from ordinary life are worth saving, this conversation is an invitation to mark time with more intention, tell the stories you still have, and make room for the memories you want to keep.

What happens when you stop checking grades?In this episode, Denise and Tim talk about the start of a new school year, the rituals they no longer participate in, and how their relationship with school has changed after raising three kids through the public education system.Together, they reflect on why they don’t check grades, why they skipped curriculum night, and what it means to trust both their child and the educators around him. Along the way, they revisit the story of Cooper getting suspended in elementary school, the complicated role of being both a parent and an educator, and the mixed messages schools sometimes send families about involvement, independence, and growing up.Along the way we talk about:Why we don’t check gradesWhy curriculum night stopped feeling necessaryCooper getting suspended in elementary schoolWhat it means to trust teachers and school leadersThe difference between support and micromanagingHow school can shape the stories kids carry about themselvesParent-teacher relationships and asking better questionsThe pressure families feel around grades, college, and the futureWhy curiosity works better than fear when navigating school systemsWhether you’re sending a child back to school, teaching in a classroom, or still carrying your own school stories, this conversation is an invitation to think about what we measure, what we trust, and how we help kids become who they are.

A conversation about home, memory, and the stories our spaces hold.What turns a house into your house?In this episode, Tim and Denise look around their own home and talk about the things that have gathered there over time—from family paintings and an old woodworking tool to typewriters, books, glassybabys, and even a cactus skeleton brought home from a hike.Together, they explore why ordinary objects can become meaningful, how the spaces we create shape the way we live together, and what it means to build a home that holds both the people we love and the stories we don't want to forget.Along the way we talk about:The objects we carry from one home to anotherWhy ordinary things become family artifactsThe stories attached to the things we keepCreating spaces where people feel comfortable and welcomeFilling a home with books, games, art, and things to doMaking room for creativity and connectionHow our childhood homes influence the homes we createWhy making a home is about more than decorating itWhether you've lived in the same place for years or are still figuring out what home means to you, this conversation is an invitation to look at the things and spaces around you a little differently—and notice the stories they hold.Because maybe the things that make a home matter most aren't really about the things at all.