Oz 9
Claim Ownership

Oz 9

Author: Shannon K Perry

Subscribed: 507Played: 16,202
Share

Description

Spring 2142 and Gated Galaxies has launched its 400 Oz-8000 ships, each carrying 50,000 "resting guests" to, hopefully, a new home on a shiny, brand-new planet. As soon as they find one. IF they find one.

This is the story of one of those ships – the Oz 9 – and its tiny crew of hopeless incompetents. So far, they've been in space half an hour and several hundred people are dead. So... bright future, clearly.
63 Episodes
Reverse
If you've ever wondered about our crew's lives before they got wrapped up in the drama of the Oz 9, well, keep wondering, because you're not going to learn a damn thing from this disaster of an episode.  You're listening to: Eric Perry as Dr. von Haber Zetzer and Sarah Golding as pretty much everybody else. Except Richard Nadolny as the Narrator. Our theme is by John Faley; the other music in this episode comes from several artists on Storyblocks. Our art is by Lucas Elliott. This episode was directed by June Clark Eubanks and was written and produced by Shannon Perry. Season 3 starts in one week (provided we don't blow ourselves up before then), so until July 19, Space Monkeys....
On an otherwise unexceptional Tuesday in 2042, Gated Galaxies fired off 400 of its Oz 8000™ ships, each with 50,000 “resting guests” tucked into stasis pods, plus a skeleton crew of up to half-a-dozen total no-hopers. It was a win-win for G2, as they’re known, as the Oz 8000 model was about to be declared “unfit for journeying to the nearest 7-Eleven, much less interstellar space” and recalled. G2 had a very large fleet of the 8000s, and a slight head start on the recall, as they’d paid off the head inspector to delay her report by promising the ships would be stripped and sold for parts. Instead, the ships were spit-shined, outfitted with some black market YugoPods™, and space aboard quietly sold to very very rich people on the promise that somewhere up there, screamingly wealthy and privileged lives away from the riff raff of Earth were to be had. To their credit, there was a lot of screaming, so they had that right. This is the story of one of those ships, the Oz 9, and the utterly futile attempts of its crew to fulfill its stated mission: to deliver the passengers safely to their new, terraformed planet. At its unstated (and unknown) mission – to make Gated Galaxies even richer by doing some sneaky, underhanded and occasionally homicidal things – it was a massive success.
Still smoking from the launch pad, our band of space explorers can't quite get a grip on this whole "survival" idea. So I wouldn't get too attached to them. 
Have you ever thrown the last of your milkshake out the car window, only to have it splat on the windshield of the car behind you? OK, imagine doing that with liquified human remains, in space, where there are no windshield wipers. Or gas stations with handy squeegee things. What happens next? You might get a really irritated comms call from the next ship in line, who are, incidentally, also about to hit you. You're listening to: Bonnie Brantley as Jessie Richard Cowen as Leet Richard Nadolny as The Narrator Eric Perry as Joe Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia Theme and incidental music written and performed by John Faley.   Sound effects available on Freesound: Spaceship Engine – just noise.wav by Nexotron Sci fi door by peepholecircus Electric zap by JoelAudio Bridge ambient sounds: https://freesound.org/people/Diboz/sounds/211683/  Car handbrake sound by audible-edge: https://freesound.org/people/audible-edge/sounds/76804/
Episode four in which Olivia gasses the crew, Leet's symmetry is imperiled, and the janitor and the AI debate the relative value of the tooth fairy. Starring Richard Cowen as Leet Bonnie Brantley as Jessie Tim Sherburn as Colin Eric Perry as Joe and Richard Nadolny as the Narrator Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry, who also plays Madeline and Olivia Our theme music and other incidental music was written and performed by John Faley. Sounds from Freesound: https://freesound.org/people/JustInvoke/ (cracked tooth) https://freesound.org/people/SieuAmThanh/sounds/397787/ (alarm) https://freesound.org/people/mikaelfernstrom/sounds/68709/ (revving engine) https://freesound.org/people/audible-edge/sounds/76804/ (squealing tires) https://freesound.org/people/Diboz/sounds/211683/ (sounds of the bridge) https://freesound.org/people/Nexotron/sounds/371282/ (engine hum) https://freesound.org/people/peepholecircus/sounds/171705/ (door)
Heave a sigh of relief: Leet’s symmetry has been restored. Might suggest you breathe through your mouth, though, as there’s a rapidly decomposing dead person in the corridor. Messing up Joe’s clean floors. Seriously, zombies are why we can’t have nice things. Not clear on the Cumberbatch/penguin reference? https://youtu.be/9GHPNKUMf70?t=200 Starring Richard Cowen as Leet Bonnie Brantley as Lady Lucretia Nibble-Biscuit Tim Sherburn as Colin Eric Perry as Joe and Richard Nadolny as the Narrator Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry, who also plays Madeline and Olivia Our theme music and other incidental music was written and performed by John Faley. Sound effects from Freesound: peephole circus (door) https://freesound.org/people/peepholecircus/sounds/171705/ sieuamthanh (alarm) https://freesound.org/people/SieuAmThanh/sounds/397787/ iamgiorgio (fire extinguisher) https://freesound.org/people/Iamgiorgio/sounds/371839/ screamstudio (air raid siren) https://freesound.org/people/ScreamStudio/sounds/412171/ wizage (gulps) https://freesound.org/people/Wizage/ nexotron (engine noise) https://freesound.org/people/Nexotron/sounds/371282/ okieactor (gunshot) https://freesound.org/people/okieactor/sounds/415912/ fredzed (airlock) https://freesound.org/people/fredzed/sounds/416385/
In which Leet reveals a certain fascination with some heavenly orbs... More pods go squelchy... We discover how the crews of the Oz fleet were assembled, and ... The narrator reveals a Very Big Secret. You're listening to: Richard Cowen as Leet Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and the Interviewer Tim Sherburn as Colin and Dick Eric Perry as Joe and Dr. Frederich von Haber-Zetser Richard Nadolny as the Narrator Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry, who also plays Madeline and Olivia Our theme music and other incidental music was written and performed by John Faley. Sound effects from Freesound: https://freesound.org/people/peepholecircus/sounds/171705/ https://freesound.org/people/Suburbanwizard/sounds/417994/ https://freesound.org/people/ehohnke/sounds/242235/ https://freesound.org/people/lchapman1980/sounds/439895/ https://freesound.org/people/Ch0cchi/sounds/15294/ https://freesound.org/people/jayfrosting/sounds/333415/ https://freesound.org/people/jayfrosting/sounds/333412/ https://freesound.org/people/Kinoton/sounds/371562/    
In which Leet is accosted by someone (or thing) and bunged into airlock 7, Olivia gets tetchy about Leet's imminent demise, There's an enormous amount of bickering, and We discover the limits of that whole "two heads better than one" nonsense. You're listening to: Richard Nadolny as the Narrator Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and the Recruiter Eric Perry as  Joe and Head 1 Tim Sherburn as Colin and Head 2 and Richard Cowen as Leet Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry, who also plays Madeline and Olivia Our theme and other incidental music was written and performed by John Faley.   Sounds effects from Freesound: https://freesound.org/people/peepholecircus/sounds/171705/ https://freesound.org/people/Breviceps/sounds/453388/ https://freesound.org/people/Suburbanwizard/sounds/417994/ https://freesound.org/people/Diboz/sounds/211683/ https://freesound.org/people/JoelAudio/sounds/136542/ https://freesound.org/people/fredzed/sounds/416385/ https://freesound.org/people/SieuAmThanh/sounds/397787/
In which It's "night" on the Oz 9, and the crew is literally and figuratively stumbling around in the dark. Back on earth a cub reporter and a private dick are hot on Mr. Southers' heels, asking the sorts of questions that might get them an invitation to sleep with the fishes. You're listening to: Eric Perry as Joe, Mr. Southers and Dr. Van Haber Zetzer Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Donna Richard Cowen as Leet Tim Sherburn as Colin and Buck Nubbins Introducing Steven Crider as Rock Brickwell and Richard Nadolny as your narrator. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry, who also plays Madeline and Olivia. Our music is composed and performed by John Faley. Additional sound effects provided by Roxy. Follow us on Twitter, and check out some saucy Oz 9 merchandise on Tee Public. Sound effects from Freesound: https://freesound.org/people/peepholecircus/sounds/171705/ https://freesound.org/people/Breviceps/sounds/453388/ https://freesound.org/people/Suburbanwizard/sounds/417994/ https://freesound.org/people/Diboz/sounds/211683/ https://freesound.org/people/JoelAudio/sounds/136542/ https://freesound.org/people/fredzed/sounds/416385/ https://freesound.org/people/SieuAmThanh/sounds/397787/ https://freesound.org/people/Filmscore/sounds/436939/ https://freesound.org/people/vrodge/sounds/119554/ 
In which: Colin makes a sausage-scented discovery, Rock and Donna talk murder, we learn about automatic chopsticks, and Olivia confesses that she might not be … all there. You’re listening to: Tim Sherburn as Colin Eric Perry as Joe Richard Cowen as Leet Shannon Perry as Olivia Bonnie Brantley as woman’s voice and Donna John Faley as man’s voice Steven Crider as Rock and Richard Nadolny as the Narrator   Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry. Our theme music and other music is composed and performed by John Faley, with additional arrangement by Elliot Faley.   Want that sweet tee the Narrator was talking about? You can find it and other merch in our store. And don’t forget to follow us on Twitter and Facebook. Stay tuned for announcements on our upcoming Patreon launch…!   Sound effects from Freesound: https://freesound.org/people/Yin_Yang_Jake007/sounds/435359/  https://freesound.org/people/EverydaySounds/sounds/125064/ https://freesound.org/people/vrodge/sounds/119554/ https://freesound.org/people/Diboz/sounds/211683/ https://freesound.org/people/JoelAudio/sounds/136542/ https://freesound.org/people/peepholecircus/sounds/171705/
Will Madeline and Joe be able to fix the copulatron and attach it to the forniculator before they realize neither of these things actually exists? Is Leet doomed to spend most of his journey inside a healer pod? Are there any sensible podcasts looking for a reliable, experienced narrator? And no, I'm not "asking for a friend." You've been listening to Episode 10 of Oz 9, Fixing the Ejaculax.  Featuring... Eric Perry as Head one and Joe, Richard Cowen as Leet, Tim Sherburn as Head two, Buck Nubbins, Colin, and random alarmed guy, Bonnie Brantley as Jessie, Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia, Steven Crider as Rock Brickwell, and Richard Nadolny, as your Narrator. Our theme and other music was composed and performed by John Faley. Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry, with special thanks to Shannon Valentine Hull for editing expertise. For Beebs. Sound effects from Freesound: https://freesound.org/people/luffy/sounds/3536/ (record scratch) https://freesound.org/people/peepholecircus/sounds/171705/ https://freesound.org/people/unchaz/sounds/150954/ https://freesound.org/people/Breviceps/sounds/453388/  
It's Day Two And we're as startled as you are that anyone's still alive. Day two on the Oz 9 sees the crew celebrating fewer fatalities (sorry, Matt) at least on board (sorry, Sweden) and making a critical discovery about cheese. But the two-headed repairbot is awake again and wreaking some havoc, Madeline needs to warn Jessie about her crew, and apparently, if someone invites you to go on an adventure in space, don't go back for your purse or to the porta-loo. You've been listening to: Tim Sherburn as Head Two and Colin/Colon Eric Perry as Head One, Joe, and Dr. von Haber-Zetzer Richard Cowen as Leet Shannon Perry as Olivia and Madeline Bonnie Brantley as Jessie, and Richard Nadolny as the Narrator Our theme and other music is composed and performed by John Faley. Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry. If you like Oz 9 and would like to support us, you can purchase some sweet swag at teepublic.com/user/oz9. Come find us on Twitter (you can start with @Oz9podcast and branch out from there). Our apologies to 1/8th of Sweden. This episode is dedicated to Matt. May he rest in pees.  
A pod has popped open, and something is roaming loose aboard the Oz 9. Something silent.... but ... deadly? Jessie, Captain of the neighboring Oz 6748, may have good reason to fear for her life,  AND Olivia explains the MRDR protocol, which is just as bad as it sounds. Not sure if you knew this yet, but Gated Galaxies is kind of crap. You've been listening to: Tim Sherburn as Colin Eric Perry as Joe Richard Cowen as Leet Shannon Perry as Olivia and Madeline Bonnie Brantley as Jessie Introducing Aaron Clark as le Bichon Frise, and Richard Nadolny as the Narrator Our theme and other music is composed and performed by John Faley. Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry. Sound effects from Freesound: https://freesound.org/people/peepholecircus/sounds/171705/ https://freesound.org/people/Diboz/sounds/211683/ Special thanks to our first patrons! Join them in supporting Oz 9 by subscribing at https://www.patreon.com/Oz9podcast. 
What happens when a homicidal, two-headed robot gets shoved into an empty (empty??) storage bay without arms or hope of release? Good question. Listen in and find out.  This special mini-episode slots in between episodes 10 and 11. To get early access to mini-episodes, join our Patreon at any level.  As always, huge thanks to all our Patrons! You're listening to: Eric Perry as Head One Tim Sherburn as Head Two Richard Nadolny as the Narrator Our theme music and other music was composed and performed by John Faley. Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry.  
You know how the little fluffy dogs are always the meanest? Well, this bichon frise is no exception. He's coming for Captain Jessie, and things are looking bad for the fearless, tartan-clad leader of the 6748.  Join our intrepid- sorry, that's insipid, crew as they try to help Jessie *pouf* her way to safety. With: Richard Cowen as Leet Tim Sherburn as Colin Eric Perry as Joe Bonnie Brantley as Jessie Aaron Clark as le Bichon Frise Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia, and Richard Nadolny as the Narrator. Our music is composed and performed by John Faley.  Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry Sound effects from Freesound: https://freesound.org/people/peepholecircus/sounds/171705/ https://freesound.org/people/Diboz/sounds/211683/ Want to help the Oz 9 limp safely to a terraformable planet? Or at least stay up in space rather than plummeting noisily to a fiery conclusion (sorry, Sweden!)? You can support us by buying Oz 9 merchandise or becoming a patron on Patreon.  Thank you!
Captain Jessie is now aboard the Oz 9, which is great, except she brought her assassin with her (pro tip: don't do that), and he's managed to get a hold of some fairly crucial information about the Oz 9.  Will our pointless but slightly endearing crew survive? More importantly, who will hire the Narrator if they don't? You've been listening to: Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia Bonnie Brantley as Jessie Richard Cowen as Leet Tim Sherburn as Colin and Head 2 Eric Perry as Joe, Mr. Southers, and Head 1 Aaron Clark as le Bichon Frise and Richard Nadolny as your Narrator (email for rates) Our music is composed and performed by John Faley with additional arrangement by Elliot Faley.  Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry. Sound effects from Freesound: https://freesound.org/people/peepholecircus/sounds/171705/ https://freesound.org/people/Diboz/sounds/211683/
It's late, and there's an assassin loose aboard the Oz 9, but Leet isn't going to let that interrupt his conversation with sleeping people.  After all, in at least a dozen conversations, only one of them called him stupid. Leet really REALLY needs a pen pal. You're listening to: Richard Sherburn as Leet Aaron Clark as Ben Shannon Perry as Olivia and Richard Nadolny as the Narrator Our theme and other music was composed and performed by John Faley; Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry. Thanks as always to all our patrons, and welcome to our two newest, David Dear and James Jamtaas! You can be cool like David and James by becoming a patron of Oz 9 on Patreon.  Sound effects by Freesound: https://freesound.org/people/sean.townsend/sounds/202917/ https://freesound.org/people/SvennSound/sounds/421798/ https://freesound.org/people/tim.kahn/sounds/18069/ https://freesound.org/people/Willary1/sounds/346198/
Here's a shocker: the Oz 9 crew's lives are in danger. Suffocation, toxic gas, a loose assassin, the risk of being crushed under their own denseness–perils lurk around every corner and certainly between slices of bread. Still, they've managed to make it through 14 episodes, so there may be hope for them yet. Oh, who are we kidding. These people would starve to death on a broken carousel.  You've been listening to:   Tim Sherburn as Colin and Head 2 or “Emily” Bonnie Brantley as Jessie Eric Perry as Joe and Head 1 Aaron Clark as le Bichon Frise Richard Cowen as Leet Shannon Perry as Olivia and Madeline Richard Nadolny, as your Narrator, and Introducing June Eubanks as Glenda Our theme music and other music was composed and performed by John Faley. Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry. Sound effects from Freesound https://freesound.org/people/timgormly/sounds/170957/ https://freesound.org/people/peepholecircus/sounds/171705/
'Allo, little piggies!  The notorious assassin le Bichon Frise is circling our crew like a vulture who hopes his prey drops soon because he's tired and hungry and a little cranky and frankly probably a little dehydrated and his blood sugar's low, he just knows it, and this dry desert air is doing NOTHING for his skin. He's ready to do some assassaning, but this bloody crew just will not cooperate.  Oh, and pod 666 just popped open, so it's anyone's guess what happens next.  Featuring the talents of: Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Donna Tim Sherburn as Colin and Head 2 Eric Perry as JOe, Head 1, and Mr. Southers Richard Cowen as Leet Aaron Clark as le Bichon Frise June Eubanks as the Albatros Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia, and Richard Nadolny as the Narrator Our music is composed and performed by John Faley, with additional arrangement by Elliot Faley. Oz 9 is written and produced by Oz 9. Visit our website at https://oz-9.com to check out our merchandise, find links to us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and make your way to our Patreon page.  Sound effects from Freesound: https://freesound.org/people/peepholecircus/sounds/171705/
The episode that finally answers the critical question: why do robots climb like cows? There's an arm under the sofa, Jessie's dangling from a shelf in Maintenance Bay 15, and we learn what ligatures are for. It's, like, Day 7? 8? aboard the Oz 9, and things haven't gotten any better. Does anyone know a good pycnologist? You've been listening to: Aaron Clark is le Bichon Frise June Eubanks is the Albatros and Glenda Bonnie Brantley is Jessie and Donna Eric Perry is Joe, Head 1, and Dr. von Haber-Zetzer Tim Sherburn is Colin and Emily Richard Cowen is Leet Shannon Perry is Olivia and Madeline and Richard Nadolny is your Narrator  From Freesound: https://freesound.org/people/peepholecircus/sounds/171705/ The theme music was composed and performed by John Faley. Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry. Assistance with French was provided by the Butler family. The cast would like to thank our most recent new patrons, Melissa Hartman, Emily Swanson, and Travis Hull. If you'd like to help support Oz 9 (and boy howdy do we need support – also duct tape and neosporin), you can become a patron and get some fun rewards and stuff on our Patreon page.  
loading
Comments (13)

Ivan Brooks

Misophonia warning at the end. Smacking sounds, Leet eats chocolate.

Sep 14th
Reply

Ivan Brooks

Misophonia warning, halfway in. Crunching sounds.

Aug 10th
Reply

Yasmine C

The funniest Sci-fi comedy since Spaceballs. It's a welcome respite from all the social turmoil going on right now.

Jun 15th
Reply

Gino Marino

I don't care who you are, that shits funny!

May 20th
Reply

Amanda-Marie Goode

oh my God. listening to this again now makes it so much better. wild how this aged

Apr 19th
Reply

Ivan Brooks

Okay, Leet and Colin at the end was great. Possibly my favorite moment of the show so far.

Feb 20th
Reply

Jordan

just found and binged the hell out of this show! Love it! so much fun to listen too!

Nov 18th
Reply

Allen Dault Jr

Great podcast, of you like sci-fi comedy, check out Voyage to the Stars, it's another good one.

Sep 19th
Reply

Hern Huntsman

Albert Einstein. Nikola Tesla. Sir Isaac Newton. What do some of the greatest scientific minds in the history of humanity have in common with the intrepid crew of the Oz 9? Well...absolutely nothing Join Leet, the bumbling IT guy with a set of washboard abs that just won't quit, Olivia, the somewhat unhelpful AI (but it's not her fault!), Joe, the janitor who just can't seem to help blending into the background like a freckle on a jaguar, Madeline, their daring but hopelessly undertrained captain, and, well... let's just call him Colin, whose accent appears to be fluid and who claims work in public relations (despite having the people skills of a rampaging giraffe), as they careen their way through the galaxy looking for a small, cozy lump of minerals with a breathable atmosphere to terraform and call home. Before they manage to melt the remaining 49,000+ plus cryogenically suspended passengers, who are completely reliant on them for survival. Needless to say, they are going need a lot more mops and buckets. The writer of this fun, energetic series has managed to take some of the oldest tropes in sci-fi comedy and breath new life into them. With a talented cast, memorable characters, and a lighthearted storyline, there is truly something in it for everyone So buckle up, make sure you made use of the last pit stop you'll find for at least a few light years, and get ready to binge-listen to what is soon to become your new favorite podcast. Oh, and be sure to avoid the sandwiches.

Sep 10th
Reply

Cuppaginger

Just finished episode 13 - aim for the mime and have loved every minute of this podcast. If you're looking for a sci-fi space comedy then join the crew on a spaceship where if anything can go wrong it WILL go wrong, so very spectacularly wrong... If you enjoy Douglas Adams, Red Dwarf, and other oddball comedies like Fawlty Towers give this one a listen. (as a side note on listening quality I did come across an episode or two where the talking was mono and the effects were stereo. Had to double check my headphones to make sure it wasn't on my end but it sorted itself out in an episode or two so if anyone else runs into that just hang in through it)

Apr 16th
Reply (3)
Download from Google Play
Download from App Store