Marriage is hard. Marriage after kids is especially hard. Why aren't we talking about this? Once we accept this, which is the first step, what can we do about it? How do women survive and thrive with partners they love but who they now know, will never understand them? Insights from four married women, my own marital turmoil, Dr. Esther Perel and Dr. John Gottman.
My first episode three weeks out of the psych ward. I made this episode because....I needed to. It's conversations I had with women before I was committed and after. The theme: All women are hurting. All mothers need help. All women are insane and we shouldn't fear being put away for it. Featuring the story of Elizabeth Packard, women's sleep cycles (why we stay up later than men and shouldn't have to apologize for it) and the increasing rise of mental health issues with women and mothers.&nb...
“Then I understood I would never marry him. It's funny how one thing can make you realize something like that. One can be ready to give up the children one always wanted, one can be ready to withstand remarks about one's past, or one's clothes, but then—a tiny remark and the soul deflates and says: Oh.” ― Elizabeth Strout, My Name is Lucy Barton We all have that moment. Whether we're dating, married or just meeting someone where we see right through the words, to the person behind them...
I am an oldest daughter. I have a younger brother. I feel like there's a special love for him that is not given to me. I thought becoming a parent would help me understand it. But I can't know because I only have two daughters. So I go to Words of Women and ask other mothers... and daughters to tell me if they feel this, if it's real. If so, is it biological, is it inherent? Is it internalized misogyny? Or am I just too sensitive? Five women. Two therapists. One struggling daughte...
You either love her or you hate her...Twenty-four hours ago I posted a clip from a podcast featuring Meghan Markle. I didn't realize it would lead to chaos. The Duchess of Susscex, it turns out, is about as divisive as Israel, Palestine, JK Rowling and all the other things we dare not talk about. But why? What makes her so divisive? I opened up an open forum Zoom and got four women and a therapist joined. I wanted to hear their views. See if they could change mine. What it turned into was a c...
“I feel I'm very sane about how crazy I am.” ― Carrie Fisher Am I manic? Am I crazy? Because I feel fine. I feel better. Now that I feel good. Now that I'm chatty and awake and feeling back to being me, the new narrative is I'm manic. And the past few nights, when I couldn’t sleep, I wondered if everyone was right. If I'd lost the plot. If my life was headed towards that image of Frances Farmer being carried away to the asylum. So I start talking to women. I read more about Franc...
"It's supposed to be hard." It's gonna be hard." It's not about talent, it's about endurability." Are we talking about writing or life? BOTH. "Everything you need to know about life can be learned from a genuine and ongoing attempt to write." Almost two years ago, I threw a shot in the dark. I emailed my favorite writer, my idol, the woman whose book, 'Still Writing', was my Bible as I navigated the seemingly impossible and dream of becoming a 'writer.'..And she responded. What started...
Am I a bad parent if I don't agree with gentle parenting? I've tried it, trust me. If you're anxious, your child will be anxious. If you're too firm, they'll have attachment issues. If you're not firm enough, they'll be spoiled. I'm tired of all the advice. Also, where did all this advice come from? I talk to a few moms and Rachel Tombari, LCP, one of my favorite therapists, to discuss Dr. Becky, gentle parenting, anxiety, motherhood, and how to stop caring so much about caring about ev...
Only children are weird. It's selfish to have an only child. Only children are lonely. There's so much pressure...To be a woman. To be a mom. To have a kid. Then to have another kid. Because you can't just have ONE KID. It's selfish to have an only child. But is it? I speak to two mothers who have (by choice and not) to have only children. Are they happy? Are theirs kids happy? Do they feel guilty? Are only children lonely? Is it so bad to have an only child or is this another myth we're just...
I feel guilty. I feel bad. But I also feel angry. Yet I can't express this anger...because then I'm a nag...But I'm tired of feeling like a nag, a bitch, an over-worried, exhausted, woman. It took the birth of my children to stop, think and pick apart what was happening. What's real guilt? What's perceived guilt? What's guilt that created by society and put women in this constant state of tension and rage. I speak with Saumya Dave, psychologist and author of the upcoming novel 'The Guilt Pill...
Dating is hard. Marriage is hard. Should women freeze their eggs? Or should they settle for less? Or should they forget men all together? The question is now: Is something wrong with men? We can theorize all we want, or we can talk to the source. Cue: your typical New York single guy in his thirties. I interview a man. A single man in his thirties and ask him why he's single. What he wants. What men want. Then I talk to more women. And this is what I realized.... This episode started as...
You're single and you're in your thirties. All your friends are married and having kids and you can't find a good match on Hinge. Is something wrong with you?...Or is something wrong with men? Or is something wrong with dating? I ask my best friend, the godmother of my children, who asked me to do an episode on dating, the apps, the lack of available good men out there and what resulted was an honest, raw, candid conversation on men, women, tall girls, dating, marriage and what it all means.&...
It's the hardest job in the world...and the most judged. Is there a stigma to the stay-at-home-mom? Do they feel it? What do they say when people ask what they do? I will admit, I used to judge them. Then... I admired them. Now, I just want to understand them. What's it really like for stay-at-home moms? I talk to three of them in the middle of their days. Not just about what they're doing...how they're feeling. Are they happy? Are they fulfilled? The answers are not as cut and dry as anyone ...
I could never be a stay-at-home mom. But I also can't go back to the corporate life I had. I want to be home for the kids, but I don't want to actually be home with them all day. Once again, a woman must make a life-changing decision. Stay at home or work full-time. There is a middle ground. But how middle is it really? That's where I am. This middle place. Working/writing "Part Time" and feeling the unfair burden of the children and the resentment that comes with it. Which led me to th...
“Nobody warned me that motherhood is a long farewell to yourself.” — Clarice Lispector After having my first baby, I was pissed. I mean, I was exhausted, overjoyed, overwhelmed but mostly, pissed. I felt like I'd been conned into motherhood. Like no one actually told me what it was really like. Whether they forgot the pain or didn't want to scare me out of it, I felt like no warned me about what it's actually like...what really happens when you make that irreversible choice to hav...
"When you have a baby, you set off an explosion in your marriage, and when the dust settles, your marriage is different from what it was. Not better, necessarily; not worse, necessarily; but different." — Nora Ephron Is my marriage in trouble or is this normal? Is this part of the experience of having kids? Or am I headed towards the D-word? From Words of Women, Lauren Martin engages her community of women to find out. Six interviews of six women along with a couple's counselor to hear their ...