Paper Cuts

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Did you enjoy your pancakes yesterday? The Daily Mail didn’t because in 2025, pancakes have gone ‘woke’. Meanwhile, The Guardian reveals that elder millennials are getting their tattoos lasered off, so we compare our ink. And The Telegraph takes its obsession with posh totty to new heights by ranking the hottest royal equerries. Miranda Sawyer is joined by the who’s who of the Paper Cuts cinematic universe, including Anniki Sommerville, Natasha Devon, Jonn Elledge, Jan Ravens, Jason Hazeley, Ben Blissett, Fergus Craig, and Ava Santina. Use code PAPERCUTS to get an exclusive 60% off an annual Incogni plan: https://incogni.com/papercuts Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/papercutsshow.bsky.social • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Every single front page is singing Zelenskyy’s praises after his clash with Trump – but what does it really mean? Jonn breaks down the weekend that changed everything. Meanwhile, Miranda’s found a Telegraph column celebrating the return of middle-aged men – fitting, given today’s panel. Plus – The Guardian reckons city slickers should flee to the countryside to watch lambs being born – but Jason isn’t buying it. Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedy writer Jason Hazeley and the king of the YIMBYs Jonn Elledge. Use code PAPERCUTS to get an exclusive 60% off an annual Incogni plan: https://incogni.com/papercuts Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/papercutsshow.bsky.social • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Did Keir Starmer really play a blinder when visiting Goblin King Donald Trump at the White House? Katy Perry’s all-female space trip on Jeff Bezos’s Blue Origin rocket: one small step for womankind or a “look! squirrel!” after Bezos’s troubles with the Washington Post? And between the spreadsheets: are Gen Z-ers really organising their dates on Microsoft Excel?  Miranda Sawyer is joined by writer/presenter/mental health warrior Natasha Devon and Good Housekeeping columnist Annika Somerville.  Use code PAPERCUTS to get an exclusive 60% off an annual Incogni plan: https://incogni.com/papercuts Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/papercutsshow.bsky.social • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Robin Leeburn. Production: Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: We’re switching things up as Gráinne and Chantal take Miranda on a whirlwind tour of their favourite time of the year – awards season! Expect behind-the-scenes BAFTA gossip from Gráinne, Chantal’s ultimate dos and don’ts for the red carpet, and a look back at a year of high-profile heartbreaks as we hold our very own award show: The Breakies. Miranda Sawyer is joined by the hosts of The Way They Were Gráinne Maguire and Chantal Feduchin-Pate. Use code PAPERCUTS to get an exclusive 60% off an annual Incogni plan: https://incogni.com/papercuts Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/papercutsshow.bsky.social • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Robin Leeburn. Production: Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Guardian is reeling from the results of the German election. Jonn walks us through the outcome and explains why the Nazis aren’t back—yet. We’ve brought in Gráinne to break down why the tabloids are obsessed with Blake Lively’s Hollywood legal clash with director Justin Baldoni. Plus, The Times has published excerpts from a former chief Tory whip, and Miranda loves the backbench gossip. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist and King of the YIMBYs Jonn Elledge and comedian Gráinne Maguire. Use code PAPERCUTS to get an exclusive 60% off an annual Incogni plan: https://incogni.com/papercuts Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/papercutsshow.bsky.social • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production: Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: None of the papers are backing Trump’s Ukraine plan and Marina explains why Europe should be worried about the President’s arrangement with Putin. Meanwhile, The Telegraph is calling on Gen Z to rise up and save EastEnders, as Jemma unpacks how the show has maintained its cult following for 40 years. Plus—Miranda has unearthed some top-tier middle-class dilemmas from The Daily Mail, as a treat for Dan. Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedian and bon vivant Daniel Foxx and the phenomenal hosts of The Trawl: Marina Purkiss and Jemma Forte.  Use code PAPERCUTS to get an exclusive 60% off an annual Incogni plan: https://incogni.com/papercuts Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/papercutsshow.bsky.social • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Tom Taylor. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Telegraph is naturally obsessed with an aristocratic family feud over an £85m ancestral estate. The Times does an incredibly deep dive into the history of handshakes. Plus – There’s a story about fish in The Guardian so we’ve reeled in our resident aquatic guru Coco Khan to school us.  Miranda Sawyer is joined by A list Paper Cuts talent including Zing Tsjeng, Ava Santina, Jacob Hawley, Jonn Elledge, Milo Edwards and so many more.  Use code PAPERCUTS to get an exclusive 60% off an annual Incogni plan: https://incogni.com/papercuts Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/papercutsshow.bsky.social • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Pics from the BAFTAs are all over the front pages, but Miranda only has eyes for Wallace and Gromit’s red carpet debut. The Times wonders what will happen when Boomers pass down their wealth and Zing breaks down why Millennials and Gen Z shouldn’t get too excited. Plus – Friend of the show Anniki Sommerville mourns the death of ‘kept women’ in the Daily Mail as Jacob reveals he wouldn’t mind being kept. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Zing Tsjeng and comedian Jacob Hawley. Use code PAPERCUTS to get an exclusive 60% off an annual Incogni plan: https://incogni.com/papercuts Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/papercutsshow.bsky.social • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Telegraph praises Trump and Putin’s ‘productive’ phonecall. Jonn breaks down why this could be bad news for Ukraine. Meanwhile, Milo and Miranda are reeling over The Daily Mail’s jaw-dropping interview with a mum bragging about her affair with her own son-in-law. Plus – The Guardian readers spill their cringiest Valentine’s Day disasters – while Ava just sits back and laughs. Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedian and host of Trash Future podcast Milo Edwards and the journalistic dynamic duo of Jonn Elledge and Ava Santina.  Use code PAPERCUTS to get an exclusive 60% off an annual Incogni plan: https://incogni.com/papercuts Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/papercutsshow.bsky.social • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Tom Taylor. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Telegraph reckons that centrist dads might just be the root of all evil. We’re off on a weekend trip to a magic mushroom spa for yummy mummies in The Times. Plus – The i has another great column from Kate Lister, but we’re worried she’s using it to throw some shade at one of her brutally honest best mates. Miranda Sawyer is joined by the crème de la crème of the Paper Cuts family – featuring Michael Clarke, Natasha Devon, Jonn Elledge, Jessica Fostekew, Jacob Hawley, Coco Khan, Stu McPherson, Helen Price, and Marjolein Robertson.  Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/papercutsshow.bsky.social • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: A second MP has apologised for being part of a dodgy WhatsApp group. Natasha walks us through the leaked messages that dominated the Sunday papers. The i has a feature on Tarot cards, and luckily, our first-time guest Marjolein just so happens to be an expert in the mystic arts. Plus – The Daily Mail gives us a rare insight into the mind of a toyboy, but Miranda thinks there’s more to the story… Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedian Marjolein Robinson and host of LBC Saturday nights Natasha Devon. Use code PAPERCUTS to get an exclusive 60% off an annual Incogni plan: https://incogni.com/papercuts Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/papercutsshow.bsky.social • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Telegraph wants us to panic about the “stagflation” crisis, but Jonn says we should just embrace the economic vibes. The Times tells us that self-care takes over 162,000 minutes a year to maintain, and Jacob simply hasn’t got the headspace for it. Plus – Miranda is fully on board with The Guardian’s theory that Elvis was an intergalactic demigod. Miranda Sawyer is joined by the face of British plasma, comedian Jacob Hawley, and the king of the Yimbys, journalist Jonn Elledge. Use code PAPERCUTS to get an exclusive 60% off an annual Incogni plan: https://incogni.com/papercuts Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/papercutsshow.bsky.social • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Tom Taylor. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: We look at the fallout from the Grammy Awards as Kanye West enrages the showbiz section of The Sun. Then, we check in with Britain's favourite columnist, as Adrian Chiles regales us with the tale of a broken zipper. Plus – We subject some of our beloved panelists to an awful sex survey from the Daily Mail. Miranda Sawyer and Alex von Tunzelmann are joined by a bouquet of panelists whose names begin with J: Jonn Elledge, Jessica Fostekew, Jack Guinness, Jacob Hawley, Jacob Jarvis, John Crace, and Jason Hazeley. Use code PAPERCUTS to get an exclusive 60% off an annual Incogni plan: https://incogni.com/papercuts Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/papercutsshow.bsky.social • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Times covers Starmer’s trip to the EU. But while the Labour leader tries to butter up Brussels, Coco fears he could end up eating some humble pie. Meanwhile, Jacob leaps to the defense of all men after the Daily Mail suggests they should be banned from gyms. Plus – The Telegraph says women should embrace the Fox News look – but Miranda isn’t sure about the MAGA makeover. Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedian Jacob Hawley and journalist Coco Khan.  Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/papercutsshow.bsky.social • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Use code PAPERCUTS to get an exclusive 60% off an annual Incogni plan: https://incogni.com/papercuts Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Five years since Brexit, and we bought the Daily Express for the first time to get Jonn’s reaction to their balanced coverage. Over at the Daily Mail, Miranda and Jessica do a deep dive into the court case that has captured the imagination of our great nation: The Fart Selfie Bandit. Plus – The Times has a fabulous piece from Rebecca Reid about her experience dating as a single mum, from dirty nappies to even dirtier martinis. Miranda Sawyer is joined by a comedian and Gladiators superfan Jessica Fostekew and journalist and trains superfan Jonn Elledge.  Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts: • Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/papercutsshow.bsky.social • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com  Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Tom Taylor. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices