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Beautifully Complex

Author: Penny Williams

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Join parenting coach and mom-in-the-trenches, Penny Williams, as she helps parents, caregivers, and educators harness the realization that we are all beautifully complex and marvelously imperfect. Each week she delivers insights and actionable strategies on parenting and educating neurodivergent kids — those with ADHD, autism, anxiety, learning disabilities... Her approach to decoding behavior while honoring neurodiversity, and parenting the individual child you have will provide you with the tools to help you understand and transform behavior, reduce your own stress, increase parenting confidence, and create the joyful family life you crave. Penny has helped thousands of families worldwide to help their kids feel good so they can do good.
267 Episodes
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In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I tackle why our kids and teens might use extreme language to express their emotions. We're recognizing that expressions like "I hate you" or phrases that include aggression or violence often aren't literal but signal an inability to articulate complex emotions. I talk about the importance of distinguishing between different feelings and emphasize the role parents play in guiding their kids to understand and communicate their emotions more precisely. Through my experiences and the stories I share — like my child's alarming description of a recess incident — I highlight how easy it is to misunderstand our kids' emotional needs. We'll unpack essential skills like social emotional learning, interoception, and how to be the calm anchor for your kids. Listen in for practical strategies to improve your child’s emotional communication.
Brooks Gibbs, Ph.D. is joining me for a conversation on Insights on Bullying: Understanding Aggression, Building Resilience. His expertise in social psychology shines a light on the intricate dance between aggression and resilience — especially in the lives of our neurodivergent kids. In this episode, you'll hear stories close to my heart, including my son's journey through the world of teasing and the delicate balance of parenting a child who sees the world literally. Dr. Gibbs offers thought-provoking perspectives on empathy, teaching us about rational compassion and how it can be a game-changer in our parenting toolkit. We'll also discuss the provocative idea of the therapeutic role of horror and drama films in building mental flexibility, and Dr. Gibbs will introduce questions that can profoundly shift our approach to challenges. Moreover, we'll address the emotional challenges faced by individuals with autism and alexithymia, emphasizing the need for strong advocacy and support. As we dissect the shortcomings of traditional anti-bullying campaigns, Dr. Gibbs proposes a fresh focus on mental health and resilience. And I'll share my evolution from overprotective parenting to encouraging my child's growth in frustration tolerance and independence.
In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I have the pleasure of talking with Shari Leid of An Imperfectly Perfect Life. Together, we’re talking about purposeful living and parenting and celebrating gradual progress over the pursuit of perfection. Shari shares her deep insights on the value of recognizing and fostering the inherent strengths in our children. We confront societal expectations head-on, discussing the critical importance of valuing imperfections and the individuality of each journey. This episode is rich with reflection on the concepts of resilience and authenticity in the context of modern parenting.
Let's talk about what to do when your kid isn't listening. Remember, they might be processing your words in non-traditional ways, so it's important to find alternative approaches to help them focus, process, and follow through. From recognizing distractions to accommodating slow processing speeds, I offer practical advice to help parents navigate these complex situations, including how to engage them physically, provide written instructions, and be mindful of their individual needs. By understanding these hurdles and meeting your kid where they are, you can foster better communication and cooperation. Join me!
In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I explore the detrimental effects of trying to control kids, emphasizing the importance of a humanistic approach to behavior. After watching the recent documentary series on Netflix called "The Program," I was both horrified by the trauma that the “troubled teen industry” causes and inspired to talk about the much more helpful perspective science offers regarding behavior. I’ve identified 8 key elements that help us feel good so we can do good, and none of them have anything to do with control. Through personal experiences and impassioned insights, I shed light on the need to empower kids, especially those who are neurodivergent, and the damaging impact of not respecting their individuality and autonomy. Join me in understanding the importance of taking a humanistic approach to behavior and nurturing an environment that supports and values the uniqueness of every child.
In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I sit down with Dr. Melanie McNally, a clinical psychologist and brain coach who specializes in working with tweens, teens, and young adults. Together, we explore the struggles that many young adults face in finding motivation and direction. Dr. Melanie shares her expertise on helping young adults build their interpersonal skills and increase their motivation. She breaks down the components of motivation into three skill sets: drive, grit, and goals, offering valuable insights for parents navigating the complexities of raising motivated teens. We also delve into the challenges of this generation's unique landscape, touch on the impact of social media, and discuss the changing dynamics of adolescence and parenting. I found Dr. McNally's approach to be insightful and empowering, offering practical strategies for parents and young adults alike. If you're a parent navigating the complexities of raising neurodivergent teens and young adults, Dr. Melanie’s wisdom is sure to provide valuable guidance and support.
In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I tackle the topic of rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) and provide 7 essential steps to help kids and teens facing this challenge. I share insights on recognizing signs of RSD in kids and teens, fostering open communication, building self-esteem, challenging negative thought patterns, teaching coping strategies, practicing self-compassion, and seeking professional support when needed. Our role as parents and caregivers is crucial in helping our neurodivergent kids navigate these challenges and thrive. If you want to learn more about supporting your child with RSD, don't miss this episode. Remember, you are not alone on this journey, and together, we can help our kids grow into resilient, confident, successful, happy, joyful adults.
In today's episode, Emily Kircher-Morris, M.A., M.ED., LPC is back and we're unpacking what it means to be a neuro-affirmative parent or teacher. We explore the pressures that neurodivergent kids face, especially the expectation to camouflage their true selves. Emily, with her dual expertise in education and counseling, is sharing invaluable insights, including her CARE acronym, which stands for cultivating authenticity, recognizing strengths, empathy, and creating safety. We discuss the intricacies of masking and the importance of authentic self-representation for these amazing kids and adults. We also address the negative impacts of non-affirming environments that can lead to stress and school avoidance. Our chat is laced with discussions on embracing rather than merely accepting diverse communication styles, and how this can transform a child's experience. Emily also sheds light on the 'double empathy problem,' the disconnect that can happen in communication between neurodivergent individuals and the neurotypical majority. Together, Emily and I are rethinking communication norms and advocating for the celebration of individuality, particularly within the neurodiverse community. As we speak, we're delving into self-advocacy for neurodivergent children and the importance of making that a communicative priority. Let’s talk about the significance of recognizing and leveraging the strengths of these amazing humans.
Today, I get to talk to the incredible Dr. Richard Selznick—a renowned psychologist specializing in dyslexia and learning disabilities. We dive into the traps parents often fall into when communicating with their children, especially those with neurodivergent needs. Dr. Selznick emphasizes the importance of giving our kids choices. It's eye-opening to hear about the challenges of motivating children with learning struggles and how we tend to blame ourselves as parents. Dr. Selznick's insight shifts the focus to understanding and supporting our kids in the best possible way.
In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I’m sharing a deeply personal story about a challenging experience with my son and the valuable insights it brought us regarding challenging behavior and supporting our neurodivergent kids. Through sharing this experience, I emphasize the need for flexibility and understanding in dealing with challenging behaviors, as well as the role of an individual’s nervous system and behavior. I’m also sharing info about the upcoming Transforming Behavior workshop series, which will provide free workshops for parents and caregivers.
In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I have a candid conversation with Anouk Briere-Godbout about the challenges of parenting neurodivergent children. Our discussion focuses on the impact of societal pressure on parental confidence and the importance of finding supportive communities for parents facing similar struggles. Anouk shares personal experiences and professional insights, emphasizing self-compassion, resilience, and the need for a mindset shift in addressing the unique needs of neurodivergent children. If you’ve felt judged about your parenting in public, listening to this episode will make you feel so much less alone!
In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I’m talking with Emily Hamblin about the unique ways neurodivergent kids might show their love for you. Emily shares her personal journey of recognizing and appreciating her children's unique love languages, discussing the impact of neurodivergent traits on their communication of love and care. The conversation delves into the concept of love languages, emphasizing the importance of understanding and embracing the individual ways in which children express and receive love. Throughout the episode, Emily provides insights and practical tips for parents to recognize and incorporate their children's love languages into daily interactions. The discussion also explores the significance of celebrating small victories in parenting and the value of recognizing and acknowledging children's expressions of love and care.
In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I had an insightful conversation with Dr. Janina Elbert Maschke, an expert in ADHD coaching and cognitive psychology. We discuss how to support neurodivergent young adults as they navigate the unique challenges they face, such as feelings of isolation, academic pressures, and emotional struggles. Dr. Maschke shares invaluable advice on recognizing and celebrating the strengths of neurodivergent individuals, as well as empowering parents to shift from instructing to supporting their young adults. We also discuss the importance of finding one's passion, building confidence, and seeking outside support.
In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I’m exploring the profound impact of successes on our neurodivergent kids (and all of us humans). I discuss how experiencing successes contributes to building confidence, motivation, and a positive mindset, all through the lens of brain science. I also offer practical ways for parents and educators to create opportunities for success and the importance of celebrating even the smallest victories. Join me as we explore the power of successes in shaping our children's journey and the strategies to support them along the way.
I'm thrilled to bring you another compelling episode of Beautifully Complex. For this episode, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Elizabeth Sautter, MA, CCC-SLP for a truly eye-opening discussion about the often wildly misunderstood concept of listening and showing that you’re listening. Elizabeth, a speech language pathologist and social cognitive specialist, emphasizes the importance of allowing individuals to find what works best for them in terms of regulation, challenging the notion of a one-size-fits-all approach. We dive into the myths surrounding what it looks like when a kid or teen is listening, the significance of regulation as a foundation for education, and the diverse ways in which individuals process information. From the concept of "Listening Larry" to the need for tailored support for neurodivergent children, our conversation offers a newfound appreciation for the complexities of listening and the impact it has on learning.
In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, we’re setting achievable intentions for the new year, with a strong focus on nurturing connections and fostering collaboration with our neurodivergent kids and teens. As always, I’m challenging the traditional authoritarian parenting/educating approach and advocate for a collaborative relationship with your kids and students, and I provide practical insights and resources for creating a collaborative environment. I emphasize the importance of spending quality time without distractions to build connections and suggest ways to provide opportunities for children to connect with you and with peers. You can even download my annual goal planning worksheet for 2024 in the show notes.
In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I’m joined by Doreen Samelson, EdD, MSCP to discuss the emotional impact on neurotypical siblings of neurodivergent children. Learn about the importance of acknowledging and accepting diverse emotions, creating intentional time for the siblings, and seeking support from networks and family members. This episode offers practical resources and highlights the significance of open dialogue and radical empathy in supporting all family members.
In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I’m taking a deep dive into the concept of "can't versus won't" when examining a child's behavior. It’s important to understand that the majority of the time, when a child is struggling, it is a "can't" rather than a "won't," even when it feels like an undoubtable won’t. I cover the complexities involved in assessing the "doability" of tasks for neurodivergent kids and provide an acronym, "DESKS," to help parents and educators analyze the factors that contribute to a task's doability for that child. Each factor plays a significant role in determining whether a child can or cannot complete a task without significant support or accommodations. Learn to approach challenges with empathy and understanding, and the framework required to assess doability to support children in overcoming barriers to achieving success.
In today's episode,I have the pleasure of hosting Dr. Brent Crandal, a clinical psychologist and children's book author. Join me for this thought-provoking conversation with Dr. Crandal about practical ways to build mindfulness and connection within families. From fostering gratitude to promoting a culture of hope, this episode presents valuable insights and actionable strategies to enhance family dynamics. We delve into the importance of mental health hygiene, modeling healthy behaviors, and finding balance in parenting. This episode is filled with wisdom and inspiration. So, grab your favorite beverage, get cozy, and get ready to be uplifted by this enriching conversation.
In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I outline five strategies to boost the confidence of neurodivergent teens and young adults. I emphasize the importance of leaning into a strengths-based approach, fostering a growth mindset, providing opportunities for talents, interests, and passions, making "time in" a part of the family culture, and being transparent about your humanness, frustration tolerance, grit, and resilience for your teens. I share practical examples and insights on implementing these strategies to help you guide your neurodivergent kids towards building confidence and self-esteem.
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Comments (19)

Timothy Drummond

intro and outro got switched lol whoops. threw me for a second

Dec 4th
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Zeebs Zen

I love your podcast but this by far has hit closest to home. So empowering to know there are others with the same struggles and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Jan 4th
Reply

Leslie bailiff

Thank you ladies! I always learn so much about parenting our child with ADHD. waxh time I listen more makes sense.

May 27th
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Leslie bailiff

Penny... you have changed my world and how I go forward to parent our child. Thank-you!

Feb 16th
Reply

Laura Loera

this episode says 76 but its 75.

Dec 19th
Reply (1)

Frances B. Murillo

Hello Penny how do I get my two sons to stop fighting

Oct 26th
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Tuan Thai

Great episode. I appreciate the strategies discussed as they are extremely relatable to our situation.

Oct 22nd
Reply (1)

Frances B. Murillo

So I'm a Mom of a ADHD boy with anger issues and very impulsive and your podcast is so on point. I want to give some of my boys background but not sure if this is the right place, so I'm going read some other comments and I'll get back to you. I just wanted to let you know that I love this podcast.

Oct 14th
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Leslie bailiff

Penny- you are amazing and we hear your love and warmth through the microphone. I have only listened to a few and have learned so much! Thank you

Oct 7th
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Maya Shumowsky

This was so helpful to me, I can relate to every single thing you said. Thank you!

Aug 26th
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Heather Estep

Episode 60...man so much information!! I am so glad I stumble on this. My only complaint is the audio plays in one earbud...unless it's a clip. ((yes, I've tried multiple earbuds))

May 30th
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Karen Dawson

thank you this is such amazing advice

May 28th
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Kelly Christian

Thank you! This is exactly what I needed to hear this morning. I will be using all of your tips/info as I move forward with my 11 year old son. We have been struggling and now I feel as if I'm armed with some positive tools to change the direction of our conversations and hopefully improve our relationship and future outcomes moving forward.

May 1st
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Melanie Foote

love it..so helpful.

Mar 29th
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Melanie Foote

this is awesome. two ADHD boys .great pic cast

Mar 19th
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Jennifer Potempa

These podcasts are lifesaver.

Oct 19th
Reply

Heidi Lappe

Thank you for your help. I needed this today.

Jun 13th
Reply
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