Claim OwnershipParenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment
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© 2024 Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment
Description
Parenting Post-wilderness is your guide to parenting a struggling teen, whether they’re home, transitioning home, or presently in treatment.
Your guides to Parenting Post-wilderness are Beth Hillman, a life coach for parents of struggling teens and mom to a post-wilderness teen, and part-time co-host Seth Gottlieb, a wilderness therapy guide turned teen and young adult recovery coach. Their unique combination of experience and training yields candid conversations chock full of practical, actionable tips and tools to smooth the challenges both parents and teens experience surrounding treatment.
Parents, say goodbye to exhausting confusion, overwhelm and panic and the unhelpful patterns that keep you stuck. Learn how to develop healthy responses and set healthy boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety.
Experience the relationship-changing power of focusing on your own behavior instead of futile attempts to control your teen.
Listen in to discover how parents like you have learned to influence equanimity in the home and rebuild connections with the teens they love.
Connect with Beth on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or find more information about working with Beth at www.bethhillmancoaching.com.
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Why do our teens keep falling back into old habits?Whether it’s big changes like making healthier life choices or smaller ones like working out more, change is hard! But why? Why is change so hard? And at the same time, it’s also hard to watch someone go through the stages of change, isn’t it? When your struggling teen knows their behavior isn’t working for them anymore and they want to change, they’ve taken an incredibly important step in the process of change, but they’re not there yet...
What can you do as a parent when your teen is refusing therapy? Or when your kid stops engaging in therapy?I have a question for you, parent: Do you know WHY your struggling teen doesn’t want to go to therapy (anymore)? “I think most people really want to rise to what level they can and there’s probably something significant in the way if they’re not rising to that point” - Trevor AllenToday’s guest, Trevor Allen, helps us see beyond therapy refusal and take a collaborative approach with...
What do you do when things aren’t working and it feels like there’s nothing left to be done?Whether your teen is isolating themselves in their room, refusing to go to school, self-harming, refusing to eat, refusing therapy, or any other negative pattern you find yourself in with your struggling teen, we sometimes reach the point where it feels like there’s nothing else we can do.You can’t control your teen. You can’t make them go to school or make them stop using substances. And that can feel...
Should you support your teen in college if he’s still using? Or let your daughter go to prom when she’s still breaking curfew?You want to support your teen in healthy behaviors but how do you go about that when they’re still showing maladaptive behaviors? You don’t want to take away activities that have a positive, healthy impact on your teen but at the same time don’t want to ‘reward’ them while they’re still breaking your home agreement, right?In this episode, Seth and I discuss how you can...
Going back to old patterns is part of the process. In a perfect world, we’d change our behavior and never make the same mistake again. And so would our struggling teens. But perfection doesn’t exist, and there’s no such thing as a magic switch that makes everything work out perfectly all of a sudden. I know how hard it is to experience a setback yourself or see your teen go through it. But one thing that Seth and I would like you to walk away with today, is that a setback doesn’t me...
Are you allowing your child to learn through failure? There’s a thin line between offering safety and comfort. Just like safety, offering comfort to your kid is a way of protection. It’s a way to protect your child so they don’t have to experience the hardships and difficulties that you had to go through yourself. But is it really in your child’s best interest to keep them from experiencing unsuccessful events?“By preventing it, you’re also enabling it” - Seth GottliebOur children don’t ...
When does your help start to hinder your teen’s growth?As parents, we want to help our kids as much as possible and protect them from discomfort. It seems like our generation has taken this belief to an extreme though. Did you know that the age at which parents allow their kids to go out and explore the world by themselves autonomously (for example by letting them go to the grocery store by themselves to pick up a few items) has almost doubled in just one generation!?But the world has changed...
Listening is the key that unlocks understanding and it allows us to be more helpful to our teens (and others!). So how can we become better listeners? Not only to our struggling teens, our children, but to everyone around us?“The more I let go of what I think my adult children should or shouldn’t do, the more they have taken accountability for their actions in their life” - Beth HillmanI see it all the time (and believe me, I’ve been there too!): parents who are trying to convince their teen ...
How can you help your teen become more independent?This one simple question will help you boost your parenting skills for daily decision-making.Parenting is an interesting thing… One day our child is completely dependent on us and we’re in charge of everything. Then they grow up and it’s hard to know what we’re still in charge of and what not. How can we best support them to become independent young adults?I can tell you one thing: We step in way more than we need to. “We need to help th...
How can you help your struggling teen take more accountability? What can you do to help your teen understand choice, consequence, and accountability? Those are the questions Seth and I will be exploring in today’s episode.[Struggling to set boundaries & consequences? Check out my free guide to help you create your own Parent Home Plan 🗺️]Our brain likes going into defense mode. It’s what it does automatically. With conscious work, we can catch ourselves there (and teach our strugglin...
How can you prepare for your teen to come home after treatment?Last week’s guest mom of a teen struggling with his mental health, suicidal ideation, and self-harm is back and we dive deeper into the journey after treatment, and the lessons she learned (and is learning) in order to come to her own way of being so she can be the best parent she can be.“Letting him figure his life out has been imperative” - Today’s guest momWhat challenges did her son’s return home after treatment bring with it?...
“We were mentally panicked. We didn’t want our kid to die and we didn’t know what to do.”Today's episode will hit close to home for many of you. We're diving into the raw and real journey of a mother facing her son's struggles with mental health, including suicidal ideation and self-harm.She reflects on her son growing up as an emotionally needy child, things getting rougher when he became a teenager, and eventually escalating after an event that happened at school during his sophomore year. ...
80. What to Do When Your Teen Is Stuck in Unhealthy Behavior?Have you ever found yourself in that heart-wrenching place where you're watching your child or young adult spiral into unhealthy behaviors? Seth and I know that pain all too well, both from our professional experiences and personal journeys.Today, we delve deep into the complexities of this tough subject. We don’t just offer practical advice, but also share our own struggles: Listen to Seth recounting his own experiences when h...
Ever noticed your brain filling with worst-case scenarios when you have limited information on what’s happening? We’ve all been there. It’s what our brains do. But why? And how can we make sure we’re not parenting out of fear?In this episode, Seth and I explore the concept of fear-based parenting and the tendency to jump to negative conclusions when faced with unknown situations. Both in times of crisis and in everyday parenting, we often have access to limited information, left to fill in th...
Collaborating with your child on technology habits, can you imagine?Or your child making the decision to put down their game console and go for a run instead, not because ‘mom’s been nagging about it’ but because it’s what they want themselves?In this second part of my interview with Emily, we’re diving deeper into how you can collaborate with your teen about their own technology habits. [Haven’t listened to part 1 of this interview yet? Have a listen to episode #77 first!]Listen as Emil...
Are you feeling overwhelmed by the constant battle to manage your children's screen time? Maybe you worry that it’s too late?Today’s guest, Emily Jones, is the brain behind Family Tech University and shares her insights with us today on how to approach this modern parenting dilemma. She emphasized that while it's crucial for parents to set effective boundaries around technology use and provide guidance, it's equally essential to empower our kids to develop their own internal filter when ...
How can you shift your parenting focus from your children's behaviors to understanding the emotions and needs driving those behaviors?We know how easy it can be to fall into the trap of focusing solely on your child’s behavior. It’s what you see, what’s on the forefront, and it’s so easy to notice: whether they wake up in time, their grades, etc. Combine this with the fear and uncertainty that being a parent can bring sometimes and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. So in those moments, let’...
How can I not rescue, and not enable, and at the same time not leave my kid completely in the dark when they’re struggling?This is the question we’re going to dive into in today’s episode.As a parent, it’s SO hard to see your kid struggling and not knowing how to help. I’ve been there, and I know it’s beyond a nightmare. You’re fearful of doing the wrong thing. Fearful of doing nothing. You’re trying your absolute best but it’s hard to understand the tipping point between what is kind an...
How can you support your teen with their college applications without writing every single essay for them?If you have a graduating senior in the house, this question has probably crossed your mind. Are they actually writing their essays? Are they putting in enough effort? How much should you bug them about it?Today’s guest, Maggie Kang, MD, found that the more she bugged her son about it, the more counterproductive it became. It can lead to more fights between you and your kid,...
Are you choosing to suffer?Pain is part of life – we can’t avoid it. Today’s guest, Maggie Kang, experienced this first-hand when her 9-year-old daughter got diagnosed with a rare disease. The pain this brought was inevitable. But there’s a difference between pain and suffering. Suffering happens when we resist the pain.By resisting to accept what was going on and that this was their new reality, and feeling the need to blame someone (mostly herself), Maggie caused herself to suffer. Until sh...
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