Pattern Breakers Collective

Send us Fan Mail You’ve never hit your wife. You’ve never punched her, shoved her into a wall, or left a bruise. So when someone talks about abusive, controlling, or coercive men, you can comfortably assume they’re talking about someone else. But what if “I don’t hit women” is an incredibly low bar for deciding what kind of husband you are? This bonus episode of Pattern Breakers Collective is for the men. Lisa takes a direct look at the behaviors that often get dismissed because they do...

Send us Fan Mail What happens when you know the relationship isn’t healthy, but leaving means you may no longer be there to protect your children from what happens when you’re not around? For mothers in unhealthy, controlling, or abusive relationships, the decision to stay or leave is rarely as simple as “just get out.” You’re thinking about your children, custody, housing, finances, school, childcare, legal expenses, and the terrifying possibility that separation could mean sending your chil...

Send us Fan Mail “Have you tried couples counseling?” It’s one of the first things women hear when their marriage is struggling. And in many relationships, couples therapy can be incredibly helpful. But what happens when the problem isn’t communication? What happens when the problem is emotional abuse, coercive control, gaslighting, manipulation, or an unequal power dynamic? In this episode of Pattern Breakers Collective, Lisa explores why couples counseling can sometimes make an abusive or c...

Send us Fan Mail Why does he suddenly become the man you’ve been asking him to be the moment you’re finally ready to leave? You’ve spent years asking him to communicate, help more, go to therapy, be present with the kids, take accountability, or simply care about how his behavior affects you. Then something in you finally changes. You’re done. And suddenly, he changes too. This episode is about one of the hardest and most confusing parts of leaving an unhealthy or emotionally abusive relation...

Send us Fan Mail Have you ever watched someone’s opinion of you completely change the moment you stopped being agreeable? You were respected when you were useful. Supported when you were compliant. Easy to work with when you didn’t question them. Then you set a boundary, said no, asked an uncomfortable question, or stopped giving them what they wanted, and suddenly you became the problem. In this episode of Pattern Breakers Collective, Lisa explores what happens when a fragile ego, covert nar...