People Like Us

In a change to the usual format, in this episode your host, Jen Mohindra, describes what it’s like to be an adult third culture kid.   Topics discussed include: -     Restlessness and rootlessness -     How to work out what security and stability mean to you -     How to find your place in the world – a place that you can belong and a place that you can really call home and mean it.  Jen shares her personal journey and the challenges faced, navigating her cultural identity as as an adult TCK.  She also shares how you too can find a sense of peace, balancing the internal conflict of wanting to settle down versus craving adventure and change.   www.jenmohindra.com

Shannon Irby grew up as a military brat. She was born in Germany and also spent her childhood in the USA, Japan and Turkey. Shannon describes her experience of being a hidden immigrant as an African American woman in the USA. She has since returned to Okinawa, Japan (for an extended period of time thanks to the pandemic) where she feels more comfortable being obviously foreign.

Sabrina Johnston is an adopted TCK of mixed heritage who was born in Indonesia and also spent her childhood in Brunei, Qatar, UAE, Saudi Arabia and she now lives in Perth, Western Australia. Sabrina talks about what stability and home mean to her and describes her version of adaptability and how she connects with people who don’t share the experience of having lived in different countries. Sabrina also hosts a podcast show Happily Ever Now: Experiencing Joy amidst Grief. https://open.spotify.com/show/0Jdwihw9bCb0EPnmMd202p

Agakura Burihabwa was born in Germany to Burundian parents of origin Then after a brief stint in the United Kingdom her family moved to Kenya. Agakura talks about the difficulty of returning to Germany and describes what belonging and “home” means to her. She explains how she responds to the classic hard question for us: “Where are you from?” Agakura’s mixed background and multiple languages has caused her to be mistaken for a spy – listen to this episode to find out why!

Anna Snyder was born in Cameroon which is where her parents are from, and her upbringing was spent between Cameroon, Nigeria and Niger and then she headed to Texas. Anna had to learn a new language quickly with a host family who didn’t speak English and later had to adjust to American English. Her early moves set her up for adjusting quickly to life in America although she was confronted with some dramatic climate changes. Anna currently lives in the USA and talks about her desire to go back to Africa and do humanitarian work there.

In this week’s episode we have a change to the usual format. Here we have three TCK experts in the discussion: Amanda Bates and Michael V Pollock and me, Jen Mohindra. We address the things that TCKs want to know most about resolving their issues. Is therapy the right route or is coaching a better option? And what’s the difference between the two? Jen Mohindra, the host of People Like Us, is a TCK who grew up between the UK, Australia and Kenya (with a bit of backwards and forwards thrown in there for good measure!). After a career that included hospitality and banking, and another move from Sydney to London in her 30s, Jen found that she was struggling with feelings of restlessness and rootlessness. The work she did with a coach was so profoundly successful in enabling her to settle and find peace that she retrained to become a coach herself. Jen works with adult TCKs, to help them leverage their TCK journey and find their place in the world. For almost two decades, Amanda Bates has provided clients with a solution-focused approach to design, develop and execute their professional goals. As a career counselor and consultant, she utilises her creative blend of experience and skills to help clients intentionally design the careers of their choice. Amanda is also the founder of The Black Expat, where she leads and creates content focused on the Black and Brown experience abroad. She is a frequent speaker on expat topics related to diversity & inclusion, third culture kids and career development. Michael Pollock, son of the late Dr. David Pollock, is an ATCK educator, speaker, author, trainer and coach who grew up mobile in the US and Kenya. With a Masters in education he and his family relocated from the US to China where he served as a principal and then created Odyssey, a TCK development organization, for the ISC schools. Michael returned to the US in 2012 to create Daraja, an adult TCK (ATCK) focused non-profit and for two and a half years brought it under Interaction International which he directed.  He continues to direct Daraja, which separated from Interaction in 2021, to focus on training, coaching and consulting collaborations with local and global TCK care initiatives. Co-author of Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds 3rd Ed., Michael envisions a world where TCKs thrive, discovering unlimited potential.

Born to American parents, Mark McElroy moved to Malaysia when he was one year old and went back to the USA to go to university. Having attended international schools in Malaysia he grew up with the comings and goings of other students while he had a more stable base. He later moved to China and then Korea which is where he currently resides with his wife and son. Listen as Mark discusses his thoughts around whether to raise his child as a TCK. Mark appreciates the positive aspects of his culturally diverse upbringing provided him with three traits: tolerance, adaptability and an ability to live in the moment, so much so that he has delivered a TEDx talk: Power of TCKs which you can watch on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTSmPne279c.

Vanessa Callari is of mixed heritage – American and Filipino and spent her formative years between the two countries.  Vanessa describes how what feels like home is not a static concept to her and how Covid has had an impact on this. She is very aware of and appreciates the opportunities that her TCK childhood has provided her. Vanessa talks about her growing family and her thoughts around the lifestyle she would like her children to have. She also describes the differences between she and her sister’s adult lives, having both had the TCK upbringing.

Anna H is a former triathlete who currently resides in San Francisco. She spent her first 11.5 years in Germany then moved to the USA with her parents but not her older siblings.  She describes what it’s like to feel German and also Californian. Whilst wanting to keep an international element to her daughter’s upbringing, Anna also wishes for her child to have a deep sense of belonging.

Chloé Donohue was born in Ecuador, her mum being Venezuelan and her dad American and Canadian. She moved to Romania, Thailand, Indonesia, Switzerland and Ghana before making her first solo move to the United States to go to university. Chloé’s globally mobile upbringing encouraged her sense of adventure in cycling the length of New Zealand then decided to make another solo move, this time to Japan. She discusses how to embrace your difference and to be ok with it and talks about what home and belonging mean to her, highlighting that these are often different to the meaning attached by non TCKs.

It's Wednesday podcast day! People Like Us is a collection of interviews with TCKs about their TCK journey and where they are now. Ibtihal Ahmed grew up the daughter of her diplomat dad, being raised in 6 countries – USA, Algeria, Sudan, Japan Malaysia and India. She talks about being the girl with the American accent and describes how locals in your native country just know that you’re not a local, despite you thinking that you look like one. Ibtihal writes about her TCK experiences, both in Arabic and English. Here is a sample of her work, on being a TCK: Crossing oceans was quite the experience. I hid every piece of my being underneath the promising tide lines. I was here and there, but neither here nor there. I was fascinated with arrival signs the same way departure tunnels propelled me with the exhilaration of make-believe presence. I have always been excited to leave and arrive at the same time. It’s like my identity was tied to in-betweenness and a fog that surrounded my soul whenever I was asked where I was from.

Amanda Bates grew up between the USA and Cameroon. Moving to Cameroon when she was 9 saw her move from being in the minority to the majority, at least from a physical perspective. She describes living in several places within the USA and the vast contrasts across the country, likening it to nine different countries. Amanda is fascinated in navigating cross-cultural spaces and identity and is the founder of The Black Expat – a multimedia platform focused on Black identity and international living.

Nurly Yusof grew up as the daughter of a diplomat. She was born in Morocco then moved as a baby to Russia. This was followed by Malaysia (her passport country) then Hungary, Qatar then back to Malaysia. Then her parents moved to Singapore for her father’s last posting and she finally moved back to Malaysia. Nurly describes what it was like to have so many moves growing up, what belonging means to her, nostalgia and the concept of home. When she meets a TCK by chance she gets a giddy, childlike feeling with “the wall having been lifted” and she can just “relax and be”.

Amanda Mulder was born in The Netherlands to a Dutch mother (who was born and spent her early years in Australia) and an Indonesian father. She moved to Brazil at 10 years old then Belgium at 15, followed by university in Great Britain. Amanda followed in the footsteps of her mother, moving to Australia as an adult. She has made many moves since! Listen as Amanda describes reclaiming her Dutch identity, her creative response to “Where are you from” and discusses the advantages of having grown up as a Third Culture Kid.

Somare Nicole Peyton was almost born in the Philippines like her brothers, but was actually born in Texas, USA. She did move to the Philippines at a very young age and moved again, within the country, before going to high school in Texas. Somare describes the difficulties of her moves, both international and local, for both she and her parents. She also talks about what it means to be a TCK screamer or wallflower and how she discovered that she is a TCK. Listen to Somare’s long held desire and plans to work with and help other TCKs.

Galindo Aliyo was born in Uganda then when she was almost 3, her family moved to what was then called Swaziland, now Eswatini. She lived amongst different cultures in Swaziland until she was 15 and then moved back to Uganda. Galindo talks about what it is to feel settled (in Uganda), patriotism and her identity when it comes to her culture in Uganda. She was drawn to humanitarian work and her TCK background enables her to empathise with the refugees that she helps in her role as a lawyer.

Aman Singh was born into an Indian diplomat family and despite being Indian he doesn’t feel like an Indian and describes experiencing reverse culture shock in India. He spent his TCK upbringing in Spain, Bulgaria, India, Mexico and Myanmar then went to the USA for college. Mexico evokes mixed emotions for Aman since it was the first place that felt like home, but he also incurred a profound loss there. Aman also talks about the classic TCK conundrum of stability versus travelling (to stay or not to stay…)

I am delighted to announce that as the 25th episode of the second series, this is the 50th episode!! In this episode I had the pleasure of chatting with a former coaching client, Frank Nilsen. Frank grew up between Norway and the USA (moving between the two many times during his upbringing). He talks about the many changes that he has experienced in his life (relationships, career, locations). Listen as he describes how coaching helped him calm his “three year itch” and take control of the choices available to him. And in Frank’s words: The coaching sessions with Jenny helped me recognize that a nomadic TCK (third culture kid) background is a platform to build upon rather than a "swamp" to get us stuck. Jenny's calm demeanor and thoughtful observations lead me to consider how I can harness my rootlessness and restlessness energies to become part of purposeful decision-making rather than drivers of my decisions. Working with Jenny—a TCK herself—meant that I could forego a lot of time that might otherwise be spent with background explanations. We were able to “cut to the chase” since her starting point is an understanding of what it means to grow up on-the-go. The sessions with Jenny allowed me time to examine my TCK liabilities while exploring ways of converting those into constructive focus going forward.

MaryAnne Camaiani is a Norwegian, Filipino, Canadian who grew up in Ethiopia and Nigeria and has Italian children. She was adopted at 9 ½ months and went to boarding school at the tender age of 6 years old.  MaryAnne resisted one of her childhood moves by not boarding the plane to leave. Listen as MaryAnne talks about what home means to her, with 30 moves under her belt, and describes the adventure of getting to know people and seeing beyond the visual differences.

Marion Lougheed grew up in Canada (where she was born), West Africa, Belgium and Germany. She describes how it can be easier to be a foreigner in a country than a “local” (ie having been born in Canada, lived there for a few years, then returned later.) She also talks about how hard it is to explain life in Africa to those who haven’t lived there!