Phaedra's Hi-Desert Transgender Blues

An accounting of the early days of my return to the hi-desert... I apologize for the rather bland narrative, but I'm such an airhead I can barely recall the details of last week, let alone 3½ years past. Besides, one of the greatest successes of my "transition" has been my ability to sublimate the identity that formerly called this body home. On account of my sun and moon signs being in opposition at the time of my birth, each day that passed until I started HRT I day dreamed of the moon rising full and huge as the sun dimmed and set. The last line of Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon took on a special significance: "Everything under the sun is in tune, but the sun is eclipsed by the moon..." I'm certain the day will come when some serious shadow work is called for, but until that time, puny, petty, pugnacious Ares will remain all but forgotten, sulking under the supersupersuper moon of his lover, obtusely unaware of the irony of his situation, their moonlighting gone wrong.... I might as well admit that my distaste for men/masculinity is directly related to my distaste for the man I'm rapidly forgetting I ever was.

This extemporaneous introduction sets the stage for the tittilating tale of this woebegone transwoman's trials and triumphs in the wake of a sudden ill-considered return to the hi-desert which has always symbolized the fairy-tale fantasy playland of her BOYhood.

There are so many little things looking back, that I knew as a child but forgot along the way, to my ultimate detriment. This is one.

This, my very first podcast, is basically just the podcast version of my very first episode on YouTube, which I published on July 7th of this year.  I introduce my audience to my life in broad brush strokes, touching on Determinism, my broken heart, (amongst the other trials and tribulations) "Phaedra 101" my first-ever real effort to self-analyse, diagnose and do away with all the thought-vomit that  was sloshing around in my head, so as to give myself the best possible chance at truly becoming a new person from the ground up, not just just focusing solely on my "transition". I intended the video (and thereby this podcast) to be an amouse-espirit, a teaser for the mind of what's to come, so no deep dives...yet!