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Pillow Talks

Author: Vanessa & Xander Marin

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Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!
10 Episodes
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Everyone wants to know what the magic amount of sex is to keep their relationship healthy. So many of us think that if we hit a certain quota, it means out relationship is successful. So we decided to do a little experiment to see what the sex lives of our followers really look like. We created a sexual frequency and satisfaction survey, and we've now had 12,000 people respond!
Did you grow up in Purity Culture? Purity Culture teaches that it's important to wait until marriage to have sex, because people who wait are more pure, wholesome, and desirable. It also has a lot to say about dressing modestly (especially for girls), pleasure being sinful, & masturbation being evil. In this week's episode, we're breaking down the effects Purity Culture can have on your sex life- and what you can do to counteract it. For full show notes: https://vmtherapy.com/episode8
When was the last time you had a truly amazing kiss? The sad reality is that most couples just don't really kiss anymore! A lot of us, if we're really honest with ourselves, feel a little insecure about our kissing technique. And if we're even more brutally honest, a lot of us don't really like the way our partner kisses. There's a lot of sex advice out there about oral sex technique and sex positions, but you rarely hear discussions of kissing technique. In this episode we're back to basics and talking all things kissing. For full show notes: https://vmtherapy.com/episode7
Do you think that relationships should be effortless? Or that having to work on your relationship means there's something wrong?   Or does your partner think these things?   A lot of people think that they should only need to put effort into their relationship to solve serious problems. Or they wait until things are bad to start putting in effort.   But your relationship CAN NOT survive without effort.   In this episode, we reframe work in a completely different - and much more helpful, effective, and fun! - way.   For full show notes: https://vmtherapy.com/episode6
What’s keeping you from letting go in the bedroom?   People we polled said that body image, kids, and to-do lists all contributed to having a difficult time staying present during sex.   People tend to feel that “letting go” is the main thing that could make sex better and more pleasurable. But for many of us, just letting go is a lot harder than it sounds!   In this episode, we talk about what “letting go” during sex could look like, and whether that’s actually something we should be striving for in the bedroom. For full show notes, head over to www.vmtherapy.com/episode5
Do you secretly keep score of who does what in your relationship?    Do you feel like your partner gets to be carefree and happy while you’re stressed out trying to hold it all together?   In today's episode, we talk about one of the most popular topics we’ve ever talked about: mental load.   If you’ve never heard the term before, mental load refers to the invisible mental burden of keeping track of household and family needs.    Seriously, people go bananas whenever we talk about mental load, so this is an episode you don’t want to miss!   Get full show notes and resources mentioned in this episode here: www.vmtherapy.com/episode4     GIVEAWAY ALERT! If you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts before June 20, we'll enter your name into a drawing to win any one of our courses for free! That’s up to a $1,000 value!    (Just make sure to take a screenshot of your review and DM it to us at @vanessamarintherapy. Apple doesn’t like to show every review, so we want to make sure you get added to the giveaway.)   Thank you in advance for taking the time to leave us a quick review!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
Should sex happen naturally? This is one of the most common questions we get asked, and it can cause some serious tension in relationships. You may want to work on improving your sex life or making changes, but your partner refuses because they think it should just happen naturally.  In this episode, we're going to uncover the truth about how sex really works in a long-term relationship. We think you’re going to be pretty surprised... Get full show notes and resources mentioned in this episode here: www.vmtherapy.com/episode3   GIVEAWAY ALERT! If you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts before June 20 and we'll enter your name into a drawing to win any one of our courses for free! That’s up to a $1,000 value!  (Just make sure to take a screenshot of your review and DM it to us at @vanessamarintherapy. Apple doesn’t like to show every review, so we want to make sure you get added to the giveaway.) Thank you in advance for taking the time to leave us a quick review!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
Has this phrase ever been uttered in your home: “We’ve talked about this a million times before”? So many of the arguments we get into with our partners are different versions of the same argument we've already had. And it can feel exhausting and demoralizing to keep having the same conflict over and over.  In today’s episode, we’re introducing you to the concept of unresolvable conflict. According to research, 69% of conflicts in long-term relationships are unresolvable. What does that even mean? And what are you supposed to do if you can’t resolve a conflict? Tune in to find out! Get full show notes and resources mentioned in this episode here: www.vmtherapy.com/episode2   GIVEAWAY ALERT! If you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts before June 20 and we'll enter your name into a drawing to win any one of our courses for free! That’s up to a $1,000 value!  (Just make sure to take a screenshot of your review and DM it to us at @vanessamarintherapy. Apple doesn’t like to show every review, so we want to make sure you get added to the giveaway.) Thank you in advance for taking the time to leave us a quick review!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
How comfortable are you talking about sex with your partner? If you’re like most people, your face is already bright red! You need to be able to talk about sex if you want to have an extraordinary sex life. So to kick off the Pillow Talks podcast, we’ve got your back with a step-by-step process for talking about sex in your relationship - even if you never have before.  In this episode, we’ll walk you through five steps you need to take to get comfortable talking about sex. We’ll share funny stories of our own communication mishaps, and give you the courage to open up!  Get full show notes and resources mentioned in this episode here: www.vmtherapy.com/episode1   GIVEAWAY ALERT! If you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts before June 20 and we'll enter your name into a drawing to win any one of our courses for free! That’s up to a $1,000 value!  (Just make sure to take a screenshot of your review and DM it to us at @vanessamarintherapy. Apple doesn’t like to show every review, so we want to make sure you get added to the giveaway.) Thank you in advance for taking the time to leave us a quick review!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had! Whether you’re looking to learn how to orgasm, skyrocket your confidence, or rekindle the spark with your partner, Vanessa & Xander can help you identify and overcome your blockages around, and learn how to have more fun in the bedroom. Head over to vmtherapy.com
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