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Pillow Talks
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Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!
183 Episodes
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Do you want more emotional intimacy in your relationship? In today’s episode, we’re covering what emotional intimacy actually is, how to get more of it in your relationship, and even what to do if your partner doesn’t understand what you want.
Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow
Get started today with 15% off using code PILLOW at oneskin.co
What happens when you have a fantasy that your partner is just not into?
When your “yum” is their “yuck” if you will.
We asked our IG community for stories about times when their partner wanted to try something they weren’t into, or vice versa. Now, we’re sharing our best advice on how to handle the differences.
Links & Resources:
Sign up for our email list: vmtherapy.com/subscribe
Thanks Cozy Earth. Go to cozyearth.com/pillowtalks and use code PILLOWTALKS for an exclusive discount for up to 40% off.
Thanks StoryWorth. Get $10 off your first purchase at StoryWorth.com/pillow
Thanks Jack Black. Go to GetJackBlack.com/PILLOW and use code PILLOW for 10% off your order.
How are we really doing?
We had a plan to talk about a different topic, but once we sat down in front of the mics, we decided to go rogue and talk about what life has really been like recently.
In today’s episode, we’re getting extra personal and sharing some of our ups and downs from the year so far. We’ve got details about all the tough decisions we’ve been making about the future of our company, personal updates about the state of our relationship, and even a behind-the-scenes look at the state of this podcast…
Links & Resources: Our Courses & Guides
Thanks Chewy. Take advantage of amazing holiday savings and shop your personal favorites at Chewy.com/pillows.
It’s time for another edition of one of our most popular series, Smash or Pass! This is where we try out the internet’s weirdest sex tips, so you don’t have to! (We even recorded audio of ourselves trying out a lot of the tips…)
Today’s theme is sex tips from 90’s and 00’s women’s magazines. Do these tips about “driving your man wild” actually work? Tune in to find out!
Links & Resources:
Guide: The Sexual Mastery Package
Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow.
Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor.
Thanks Jack Black. Go to GetJackBlack.com/PILLOW and use code PILLOW for 10% off your order.
1What’s the difference between a clitoral orgasm, g-spot orgasm, and cervical orgasm? What’s squirting? How common is it for women to orgasm multiple times in 1 session?
Today we’re taking it back to the very first topic Vanessa became known for - female orgasm (Buzzfeed even called her The Orgasm Whisperer)!
In this episode, Vanessa is answering some of the most commonly asked questions about female pleasure and giving you top-tier advice on how to start having the best orgasms of your life.
Links & Resources:
Course: Finishing School
Thanks Cozy Earth. Go to cozyearth.com/pillowtalks and use code PILLOWTALKS for an exclusive discount for up to 40% off.
We’re bringing one of our favorite Instagram games to the podcast, Tie-Breakers!
We asked our community to share some of the things that they just can’t agree on with their partner. We break the tie for them!
We’ve got some interesting relationship stand-offs to dig into for this episode, like who is responsible for chores if only one of you works, if you should charge rent to in-laws, who are living with you, and are you too old for hand jobs?
Links & Resources:
Book: Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life
Guide: The Ultimate Foreplay Guides
Guide: Mental Load Workbook
Thanks OneSkin. Get started today with 15% off using code PILLOW at oneskin.co.
Mutual masturbation is one of the sexiest things you can do in the bedroom! But when we asked our audience if they had ever mutually masturbated with their partner, only 36% said yes.
in today’s episode, we break down what mutual masturbation is, how to get comfortable and confident doing it, and how to take it to the next level!
Links & Resources:
Guide: The Ultimate Foreplay Guides
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
Thanks OneSkin. Get started today with 15% off using code PILLOW at oneskin.co.
Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow
Is it cheating to keep nudes from past relationships? Have an Only Fans account? Have a “work wife”?
For this episode, we asked our community to tell us about a situation they’re in that has left them wondering, “Does this count as cheating?” The answers were fascinating, and we had a blast giving our hot takes.
This is a great episode to listen to with your partner, to make sure you’re on the same page about what counts as cheating in your relationship.
Links & Resources:
Check out our courses
Instagram: @vanessaandxander
Tiktok: @vanessaandxander
Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor.
Thanks Flure. Check out the Flure Dating App at www.flure.com
Is there something your partner does in the bedroom that you’re not sure you should put up with?
This episode was inspired by a message we got from a woman whose husband wears headphones and listens to podcasts while they have sex. She wanted to know if it was OK for her to be upset by this behavior.
Minds blown, we turned to Instagram to ask people what other confusing or unusual behaviors they were putting up with. In this shocking (and honestly pretty unhinged) episode, we’ll give you our hot takes on what you should and shouldn’t put up with.
Links & Resources:
Guide: Dirty Talk 101
Thanks Zocdoc.Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor.
Thanks Horoscope Weekly. New episodes release every Monday, wherever you get your podcasts. Just search for “Horoscope Weekly with Aliza Kelly”.
Thanks Flure. Check out the Flure Dating App at www.flure.com
Does Vanessa wear the pants in the relationship? Are we skipping out on meetings to have sex in the middle of the day? Are we rich??
It’s time for another round of Ask Us Anything, and we’re answering all your nosiest assumptions. We’re covering the most personal topics involving our relationship, our business, and even our sex lives.
Links & Resources:
Course: Your Best Week Ever
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow.
Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS
Thanks Chewy. Save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to chewy.com/PILLOWS
Thanks OneSkin. Get started today with 15% off using code PILLOW at oneskin.co.
Ever found yourself feeling attracted to someone else despite being in a committed monogamous relationship? Maybe someone cute you saw at the gym. Or a college. Or even your partner’s best friend??
Don’t worry, you aren’t the only one.
Today we’re digging into real stories from our community about times they were attracted to someone else, and giving our best advice on how to handle attraction to other people while in a relationship.
Links & Resources:
Free Guide: 20 Great Compliments To Give Your Partner
Subscribe here
Instagram: @vanessaandxander
Thanks MarleySpoon. Experience the most personalized meal kit today with Marley Spoon. Head to MarleySpoon.com/OFFER/PILLOW and use code PILLOW for up to 25 FREE meals!
Thanks Marimur. Visit MARIEMUR.com and use the promo code ‘PILLOW’ for 15% off.
Have you wanted to bring a sex toy into the bedroom but been worried about your partner’s response?
It can be a scary ask! Maybe you’re worried about hurting your partner’s feelings, maybe you don’t even own one yet.
Well, we think sex toys can be an incredibly useful way to balance the orgasm gap and increase pleasure! So in this episode, we’re going to help you introduce sex toys into the bedroom (but without making it weird)!
Links & Resources:
Recommended Products
Guide: Ultimate Foreplay Guides
Guide: Next Level Intercourse
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
Thanks HelloFresh. For FREE breakfast for life go to HelloFresh dot com slash freepillow.
Thanks OneSkin. Get started today with 15% off using code PILLOW at oneskin.co.
“When mommy and daddy lock the bedroom door…”
We’ve all been there at some point in our childhood when someone sat us down and talked to us for the first time about sex. Odds are it was probably awkward, uncomfortable, and maybe left you with more questions than before.
In this episode, we’re digging into all of your true stories about how “The Talk” was given to you, and we’re sharing our stories too.
So if you’ve ever wondered how similar your first conversation about sex is to someone else, this is an episode you can’t miss.
Links & Resources:
Course: How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow.
Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor.
We’re back with Part 2 of our “What Do Women Really Think About…?” series. We turned to our instagram community again and asked for a new batch of topics.
We’re diving into women’s real thoughts about spitting vs swallowing, their partners watching porn, and some (pretty crazy) wild cards.
Links & Resources:
Ultimate Foreplay Guides
Next Level Intercourse
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS
Thanks MarleySpoon. Experience the most personalized meal kit today with Marley Spoon. Head to MarleySpoon.com/OFFER/PILLOW and use code PILLOW for up to 25 FREE meals!
Ever had a frustrating situation with a partner that left you wondering, “Is this your problem to fix? Or mine?”
Whether it’s disagreeing on parenting choices or your partner having a fetish that you’re not into yourself, it’s completely normal to be confused about who needs to make a change.
Today we’re bringing back “Is This Your Shit Or Mine?” for part 2. Get ready for some fascinating stories from other couples and our best advice for how to move forward!
Links & Resources:
Our Courses & Guides
Thanks Chewy. Save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to chewy.com/PILLOWS
Thanks OneSkin. Get started today with 15% off using code PILLOW at oneskin.co.
Long distance relationships are hard! About 14 million people are in long distance relationships in the US alone, and most of them report struggling to keep the spark alive. In this episode, we’re going to help you stay connected and keep it spicy with hacks, techniques, tips, and tricks.
Links & Resources:
Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life
Dirty Talk 101
Ultimate Foreplay Guides
Next Level Intercourse
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow.
Have you ever considered opening your relationship? Or just ever felt nosy about why other people open theirs?
For today’s episode, we asked our Instagram audience to let us know if they were considering opening their relationship. We weigh in on what they should do and give them (and you!) our best advice.
Links & Resources:
Art Of Initiation
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
Does a lack of privacy get in the way of your sex life? You’re not alone. 62% of our audience say they wish they had more privacy, and 92% of them say they’d be having more and better sex if they had more privacy. If you don’t have privacy, you may find it difficult to get in the mood, relax in the moment, make any noise, or even allow yourself to have sex in the first place.
In this episode, you’ll get access to practical tips taken straight from one of our paid courses, Rediscovering Us!
Links & Resources:
Rediscovering Us: Intimacy And Sex for Parents
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor.
Did you know that only 24% of people said they’re happy with the level of vulnerability in their relationship?
We asked our community why they struggle to be vulnerable, and heard things like:
-I didn’t grow up being vulnerable, so I don’t know how to do it
-We’ve been together for so long without being vulnerable; it would feel weird to try to start now
-What’s the point of vulnerability?
Our hot take is that without vulnerability, you don’t have a real relationship. So in this episode, we’re breaking down your barriers and helping you and your partner get more vulnerable!
Links & Resources:
Simple Daily Check-In
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS
Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow.
Your partner wants you to flirt with them more!
But the majority of us feel like we don’t know HOW to flirt. It feels awkward or cheesy... Or we don’t know what our partner will actually like.
Get your notebooks out because today we’re going to teach you how to flirt with your partner! We’ll cover why flirting is so important in long-term relationships, how to get over your resistance to it, and dozens of specific examples of how to flirt.
Pro-tip: this is a fantastic episode to listen to with your partner!
Links & Resources:
Art Of Initiation
Dirty Talk 101
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
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This is such an important topic! Introducing sex toys can definitely feel daunting, but open communication is key. Start by discussing your desires and how toys can enhance your shared experience, making it a positive exploration rather than a daunting request. Click here to visit https://betterlovedoll.com/ for more information. It might help to frame it as a fun adventure you can embark on together. Sharing information about the benefits of sex toys can also alleviate any concerns your partner might have. Remember, it’s all about mutual pleasure and connection. I'm excited to hear more tips from this episode!
even though this episode is about women with a higher drive, I say you can swap the genders and the emotions and experience is the same when it's the man with the higher drive
what can be an uncomfortable conversation to have, either with your spouse or with just yourself, is your phone getting in the way of your relationships in life
now I want to go take this personality test to learn more about myself and my wife
women hopefully this will help you to have compassion towards your man
I believe that gaming can be quite damaging for some relationship, that's true. I can say that I enjoy sites from https://bstcasinos.com/ from time to time to enjoy gambling, and for me, it's highly entertaining. And since I have a responsible approach, I've never had any problems in my personal life related to gaming, so I'm glad that I don't take it that seriously.
cannot play the newest episode. can you reboot it. lol. thanks. you guys are the best and we have your sex talks book!!!
I cannot play the butt stuff episode.
I cannot play this episode, could you re-upload it please?