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Pirates: Totalus Rankium

Author: Rob and Jamie

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Lighthearted history podcast ranking all of the Golden Age Pirates. Brought to you by the same people who created Roman Emperors Totalus Rankium and American President Totalus Rankium
23 Episodes
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17.2 Charles Vane

17.2 Charles Vane

2025-09-1701:07:04

Last time we saw what he got up to under Henry Jennings. But now he is on his own leading a pirate faction against all the leading pirates. Oh, and Woods Rogers is on his way!
17.1 Charles Vane

17.1 Charles Vane

2025-09-0301:21:45

In a change to the schedule, we are looking at one of the most notorious pirates this week: Charles Vane! In part one we look at his life under one of the father's of golden age piracy - Captain Jennings. 
16 Howel Davies

16 Howel Davies

2025-08-2001:27:10

Howel Davies is here. He may not be a popular as Bonnet or Blackbeard, but he has a story! Join us as we review the con man of the seas.
15 Richard Whorley

15 Richard Whorley

2025-08-0641:19

After the heights of Blackbeard and Bonnet we have the story of Whorley. Will he go down as one of the greats? No. Did we have fun talking about him? Yep!
14 Stede Bonnet

14 Stede Bonnet

2025-07-2501:34:01

We have met Blackbeard - the most notorious pirate in history. But now let's meet the man behind the man. The gentleman in a dressing gown and bunny rabbit slippers. It's time to look at Stede Bonnet!
Last time we covered the life of Blackbeard before he was famous. This time? Well, it's time to understand why he is the most famous pirate of all time!
13.1 Edward Blackbeard Teach

13.1 Edward Blackbeard Teach

2025-06-2501:23:221

It's the big one! Or at least the first half of the big one! Find out just why Blackbeard is the only pirate Jamie has heard of. We cover his early career under the notorious Captain Hornigold!
12 John Martel

12 John Martel

2025-06-1101:18:58

We are still in the Golden age! So does that mean more Sam Bellamy level antics? ... well, no. But we cover the history of Nassau. so that's good. 
11 Black Sam Bellamy

11 Black Sam Bellamy

2025-05-2901:46:20

Oh, we have hit the Golden Golden age now! This is what we signed up for. Black Flags, Skull and cross bones, parrots! Levels of nudity that would ensure HBO would have to make the TV version! Black Sam has it all. 
10.5 Woods Rogers

10.5 Woods Rogers

2025-05-1401:11:20

This week we go off script. We are not coving a pirate from the General History - but instead we are coving a man who will be popping up a lot in the future: None other than the pirate hunter Woods Rogers! And we try and answer the simple question: Woods Rogers?
10 Nathaniel North

10 Nathaniel North

2025-04-3001:30:15

We come to the end of the Pirate Round. North is perfect as he Forrest Gumps his way around the Indian Ocean. Let's do one last round before the Golden Age really begins!
09 David Williams

09 David Williams

2025-04-1601:03:54

What happens when a Welsh farm boy is abandoned naked on the shore of Madagascar? Probably piratey shenanigans! Probably.  
08 Samuel Burgess

08 Samuel Burgess

2025-04-0201:07:58

After having the good man of piracy with Halesy last time, we now go to the bad man of piracy. Was he a pirate? Was he a slaver? Find out!
07 John Halsey

07 John Halsey

2025-03-1901:28:39

Who is John Halsey? Is he the nice man of piracy? Does he have a plan? Where did all the dragons come from? Find out in this episode!
06 Thomas White

06 Thomas White

2025-03-0501:21:29

What to do with a pirate we are not 100% sure was real? Cover him anyway and hope for the best! Check out Bluesky and facebook to see the images connected to this episode. https://bsky.app/profile/totalusrankium.bsky.social/post/3ljl7gf5k2c24 https://bsky.app/profile/totalusrankium.bsky.social/post/3ljl7iflrb224  
05 John Bowen

05 John Bowen

2025-02-1901:52:19

Our pirate from last episode had a fellow pirate captain that he worked with. But was Bowen better than Howard? Did he take more ships? Did he instil more fear? Why should he look out for red fish? And does anyone know how to make a Tom Collins around here? Find out all the answers to these questions!
04 Thomas Howard

04 Thomas Howard

2025-02-0501:35:04

We enter the dark ages of our series where the names are not so well known. We have only the general history to rely on but does this mean Howard will be dull? Or is he a hidden gem? Find out!
03 William Kidd

03 William Kidd

2025-01-2201:45:56

Our third pirate is one of the most famous pirates of the time. He may not be too well known now, but back in pirate times he was up there with the best of them. But why? What makes Kidd so special? And more importantly, do we finally have a good ship name?
02 Thomas Tew

02 Thomas Tew

2025-01-0801:26:01

Our second pirate is the aptly named Thomas Tew. We saw Tew in Avery's episode when Avery took command of the pirate fleet. But how did Tew do on the attack? And just how friendly was his ship? Find out!
01 Henry Avery

01 Henry Avery

2024-12-2601:21:251

So it begins! Join us as we look at the first pirate we will be covering. The pirate all other pirates wanted to be, the Robin Hood of the seas, it's Henry Avery! (or Every. or Everie. or... never mind, spelling was optional back then)
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Comments (3)

Katie Louise Tyers

what is going on with Rob's audio on this episode?

Jul 10th
Reply

Rosco

I love this series of pirate biogs.

Feb 24th
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Michael Bogin

I listened!

Jan 24th
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