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Please Send Dick Pics

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A podcast hosted by April Walterscheid with an emphasis on female comedians and LGBTQ+ comedians. Each guest offers insight into different aspects of the comedy world. We also touch on dick pics. Send us stuff at pleasesenddickpics@gmail.com
51 Episodes
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This week’s special guest is Comedic Impressionist and Lover of Foreign Crime Shows, Kristen Van Nest!April Walterscheid and Kristen discuss News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also delve into the following hot topics:○ gay snails as pets
○ visiting 40+ countries○ how a pedophile saved her life○ OHIO○ why Swedish crime shows have great physical acting○ her addiction to watching “Swedish Dicks” on PopTV○ the difference between French crime shows vs. American crime shows○ finding an old cosplay acquaintance on True Crime Daily who happened to go on a murder spree○ spending a portion of her life living in China○ the character she plays on “Chunky Zeta” on Amazon Prime○ her poignant sketch "People's Republic of America" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihnspyuPTH8)○ what it’s like to actually visit North Korea (did she actually know Otto Warmbier?)○ her UCB improv troupe Pinup Squirrels○ she also explains the phrase Bernie Bro
Kristen’s Instagram: www.twitter.com/kristenvannest
Checkout her Match.com parodies too!Gary: https://www.instagram.com/p/BtJXpNMg8Gr/Trixie: https://www.instagram.com/p/Btt07X2AWeZTina: https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt3yJisAJAH“Someday I'll Grow To Be As Tall As The Giant” by Animal CollectiveIf you're an avid listener of Please Send Dick Pics, support the podcast on PayPal: PayPal.me/apriloneilThank you for listening! April hosts/produces this free podcast for you every week. She hopes you're not only entertained, but also learning something new about comedy.
This week’s special guest is Comedian and One Woman Show, Diana Dinerman!
April Walterscheid and Diana discuss News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also delve into the following hot topics:
○ working on your comedy from an internal place within yourself instead of where you think you should be○ her experience starring as Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz○ The Ghost Sonata○ Christopher Durang plays○ comedy is all about being a professional noticer○ dating guys who look like melting candles○ dick pics through the centuries○ Civil War era dick pics○ 12-year-olds drinking coffee in Lima, Peru○ Valentine’s Day-themed Would You Rathers○ why wearing a red dress is insane now○ oiling up in grapeseed instead of baby○ growing up in Washington DC○ dates pulling out velcro wallets means having no bed frame○ how to pronounce her last name and why
Diana’s Twitter: www.twitter.com/ddinerman
Detour is the title of Diana's one-woman show. Please check it out!“Quick Canal” by Atlas Sound ft. Lætitia Sadier
If you're an avid listener of Please Send Dick Pics, support the podcast on PayPal: PayPal.me/apriloneilThank you for listening! April hosts/produces this free podcast for you every week. She hopes you're not only entertained, but also learning something new about comedy.
This week’s special guest is Former Government Survey Spy and Comedian, Jessica Abrams!April Walterscheid and Jessica discuss News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also delve into the following hot topics:○ government shutdown○ trickle down economics is more like trickle up economics○ marginalized groups who enjoy being republican○ government surveys as a day job○ numbing society○ growing up in North Carolina○ performing comedy in New York○ being a writer in Los Angeles○ her web series “Knocking On Doors”○ how to avoid the Super Bowl by podcasting in your parents abandoned shed○ how human connection can’t be replaced by inanimate objects○ dating wins and losses○ hating on dick pics○ plus, a brief interview with her character from “Knocking Doors,” Louise BiceJessica’s Twitter: www.twitter.com/jessicaabrams3Jessica’s Website: www.jessicaabrams.comJessica’s Web series: www.knocking-on-doors.com“Mr. Bad Guy” by Freddie MercuryIf you're an avid listener of Please Send Dick Pics, support the podcast on Venmo or Patreon: venmo.com/april-walterscheid // patreon.com/aprilwalterscheidThank you for listening! April hosts/produces this free podcast for you every week. She hopes you're not only entertained, but also learning something new about comedy.
This week's guest is MTV Writer and Olympic Comedian, Lisa Curry!
April Walterscheid and Lisa discuss News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also delve into the following hot topics:○ The Beatles○ Lisa Maria Presley○ Walk of Shame Tour○ growing up amongst lifejackets○ being in a lifejacket gang at a marina○ visiting her very Republican parents○ her parents not knowing how planes work○ her Grandma’s expensive doll collection○ hoarders and collectors scrounging for money○ hoarders and collectors not knowing how to sell their expensive stuff on eBay○ being the first female comedian at a comedy festival in the UK○ essentials for touring○ pure emotional exhaustion from living the dream as a comedian○ hosting the PBS documentary “Angeleno”○ being single for 10 glorious years○ sitting next to empty chairs at restaurants○ families who makeout with each other○ other Lisa Curry’s she has read about onlineShoutouts and mentions:Comedian Erik Griffin, The Mystery Hour in Springfield, Missouri, and all the Lisa Curry's of the worldLisa’s awesome EPK:http://lisa-curry.squarespace.com/new-page-2Lisa’s Twitter: twitter.com/lisa_curry
Lisa’s Website: www.lisacurry.net“Keep Yourself Alive” by QueenIf you're an avid listener of Please Send Dick Pics, support the podcast on Venmo or Patreon: venmo.com/april-walterscheid // patreon.com/aprilwalterscheidThank you for listening! April hosts/produces this free podcast for you every week. She hopes you're not only entertained, but also learning something new about comedy.
This week's guest is Amazon's Danger & Eggs Writer and Reality Bytes Show Host, Courtney Kocak!April Walterscheid and Courtney discuss News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also delve into the following hot topics:○ Minnesota○ sledding into a world of cockleburs (spikey balls)○ small town abductions and murders○ how winning a 2nd Place mug as a child in a writing contest changed everything○ creating more dynamic women roles just by switching from actor to writer○ how everyone seems to live near Cafe 101 in Los Angeles○ buying her own article in the LA Times○ John Stamos on TV show poster as a guest role○ being a writing assistant on the former TV show Necessary Roughness○ being reprimanded for pitching ideas in the writer's room○ how her pitch got used for an entire season on a TV show○ why dating apps make us lie about our height○ how New Zealand is the Minnesota of the Southern Hemisphere○ why she was happy to have her writing rejected 212 times in one year○ how rejection can turn into a YES so don't burn any bridges○ why guys who send her dick pics feel skeptical○ cliches are the bestShoutouts and special mentions:Sofiya Alexandra, Helsinki Finland, Shadi, Petosky, Courtney's little brothers (Jordan, Matt & Ben), Kate Berlant, Rhea Butcher, Cameron Esposito, and Whitney Bell the Dick Pic Expert (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbUWYnV6d4I).Courtney's 212 Rejections in One Year Article:https://contently.net/2019/01/10/voices/why-rejections-were-the-best-thing-to-happen-to-me/Courtney's Twitter: www.twitter.com/courtneykocakCourtney's Website: www.courtneykocak.com"Killer Queen" by QueenIf you're an avid listener of Please Send Dick Pics, support the podcast on Venmo or Patreon: venmo.com/april-walterscheid // patreon.com/aprilwalterscheidThank you for listening! April hosts/produces this free podcast for you every week. She hopes you're not only entertained, but also learning something new about comedy.
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2019!This week's guest is NBC Temp Worker and Professional Sketch Comedian, Janet Quinonez!April Walterscheid and Janet discuss News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also delve into the following hot topics:○ Norman Lear, Carol Burnett, Mel Brooks, & Benny Hill○ The Jeffersons○ Houston, Texas born and raised○ growing up with Catholic parents○ female bullies in elementary school○ Yo Mama jokes○ Danielle + Janet = BFFs○ her cat named Fee #PhishSong○ her biggest regret involving George Carlin○ working for an oil company○ top skill she learned from the UCB Sketch Writing Program○ Conan O'Brien performing at her comedy show Drunkalogue○ Charles Manson's autopsy○ drinking wine out of a Pringles can while riding around Walmart○ Pringles Chip wine pairings○ why she's the first woman ever to not receive a dick pic○ how to land that Hollywood job you want○ why "Live and Let Die" by The Wings still tortures her today○ Kelsey Grammer's pretentiously puzzling accentShoutouts and special mentions: Upright Citizens Brigade, Jackie Kashian, Justin Michael, Conan O'Brien, Brigid Kelley of Pussies Grab Back, George Carlin, Rhea Butcher, The Internet Read Aloud, Clint Eastwood, Margot Robbie, Saturday Night Live, and Karen Kirkland and her Palm Springs writing retreat "The Breakk" (www.thebreakk.com).News article source:https://nypost.com/2019/01/13/walmart-bans-woman-for-riding-electric-cart-guzzling-wine-from-pringles-can/If you're a sober or non-sober comedian and would like to be a guest on Janet's Los Angeles Comedy Show DRUNKALOGUE, mention April and email the show at: drunkalogueshow@gmail.comJanet's Twitter: twitter.com/janetqpriceJanet's Website: www.janetquinonez.com"Elevator Music" by BeckIf you're an avid listener of Please Send Dick Pics, support the podcast on Venmo or Patreon: venmo.com/april-walterscheid // patreon.com/aprilwalterscheidThank you for listening! April hosts/produces this free podcast for you every week. She hopes you're not only entertained, but also learning something new about comedy.
THE WHITE ELEPHANT EPISODE!This week’s guest co-host is One-Liner Queen, Comedian Kirsten Alberts!April Walterscheid and Kirsten talk about News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also talk about... Listen and find out! Happy Christmas Eve and don't forget to leave carrots out for the reindeer tonight please. If you have a cool parent, they'll eat half the carrots and create sleigh tracks in the grass with their tennis shoes while you're sleeping to blow your kid mind in the morning.Kirsten's Twitter: https://twitter.com/DirtyHippyComic“The Nutcracker Suite (Baz Kuts Breaks)“ by Berlin Symphony Orchestra (April has been waiting 11 years to use this song in something)“Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town” by Mariah CareyRunner Up Song: "Let It Snow (JustFurKiks Remix)" by Frank Sinatra https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-sOAnwh7MAIs that a banana in your pants? Yes, and MONEY. Donate to this BIG podcast on Patreon or Venmo: www.patreon.com/aprilwalterscheid // venmo.com/april-walterscheid
This week’s guest cohost is VERY VERY Serious Actor and Accidentally Funny Person, Melissa Neiger!April Walterscheid and Melissa talk about News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also talk about The Milk Corner, improv galore, the dominatrix woman of every girls' group bathroom visit, sex hotlines that make everything sound like a question, how it’s important to ALWAYS lose your keys in an espresso machine situation, how warm places feel like a hug, Jessica Simpson, Natalie Portman, Blueberry Farm, divorcée, SouljaGame Console, copying everything out there and selling it for a much lower price, Robin Hood for Youuuu, SouljaBoy Food Stamps, Kevin Hart, Nintendo, Meme Spam, cheap Dre Beats, BRACES, the immense joy of keeping you whole life one big secret from social media because you’re too cool for everyone, and legally lowering your age by 20 years.Melissa’s Instagram: instagram.com/melissa.lavonneApril's introduction based on a brace-face character Melissa does!“Thank You For Being A Friend“ by Andrew GoldIt's a BANANA! It's a PLANE! It's BIG donation in your name! Donate to this BIG BANANA of a smashcast on Patreon or Venmo: www.patreon.com/aprilwalterscheid // venmo.com/april-walterscheid
THE SUMO GIRL EPISODE!This week’s guest co-host is Jewish-American Princess and Comedian, Kazu Kasano!April Walterscheid and Kazu talk about News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also talk about Japanese memories, being married to a Jewish magician, pigtails, how the average person will interact with 16 murderers in their lifetime, how to spot a liar, police interrogations, Karate Chop Teriyaki Comedy, The Drifters (Japanese improv sketch group), Egyptian Courtroom, being put on trial for wearing a 1950s bathing suit to an award show, Rania Youssef, being 50-years-old but looking like a 20-year-old, when people pass their own limitations as “good advice” to you, accidentally getting thousands of followers on YouTube, San Francisco, TimeWarp Records, how violence is a no-no in France, cheating on Little House On The Prairie, creepy asian girl fetishes, wishing your own husband would send you a dick pic, and April accidentally offends Kazu but what else is new?Kazu’s Awesome Website: http://kazukusano.com“Bicycle Race“ by Queen“Bohemian Dicksody” by April (64 tracks in GarageBand, smartphone earbuds microphone, her voice only, recorded from the convenience of her bed)Lyrics:I see a little silhouetto of a dickScarame, Scarame, why you senda me a dick picThunderdicks of lightning, very very frightening!(Hungileo) Hungileo, (Hungileo) Hungileo, Hungileo jigalo penisico...(I’m just a poor dick, nobody loves me)He's just a poor dick from a poor familySliding his pics into DM’osityEasy come, easy go, are you a man ho?Richardson! No, we will not let you ho(Let him ho) Richardson! We will not let you ho(Let him ho) Richardson! We will not let you ho(Let him ho) Will not let you ho(Let him ho) Will not let you ho(Let him ho) Ah, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho(Oh call me daddy, call me daddy) Call me daddy, let me hoBeelzebub put a devil in his scrotum, for pee, for pee, for peeeeeee!!So you think can jerk off into my eyeSo you think you can glove me and leave me to dieOhhhh babyWon’t you dick pic me babyJust gotta get outJust gotta right into email…Is that a banana in your pants? Yes, and MONEY. Donate to this BIG podcast on Patreon or Venmo: www.patreon.com/aprilwalterscheid // https://venmo.com/april-walterscheid
THE IMPROV THEATRE EPISODE!This week’s guest co-host is Phoenix Upright Citizens Brigade Equivalent and Undisputed Improv Royalty of the World, Jacque Arend!April Walterscheid and Jacque talk about News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also talk about Jacque's improv troupe Mail Order Bride, feeling lost, waitressing, what it’s like starting an improv theatre from scratch, traveling to different countries to do improv, Ireland, hitting a dead end even though everyone thinks you're awesome, Cynthia Nixon, New York, Second Beat Improv Theater, iO Chicago, Michigan, ballsy improvisor Carrie Benton (RIP), and April and Jacque improvise scenes based on recent news headlines! #SkewedNewsHourJacque’s Instagram: www.instagram.com/goldtoothe“Broken Hearts Are For Assholes“ by Frank Zappa(Runner-ups: "Hot Poop" and "Bow Tie Daddy" by Frank Zappa)Is that a banana in your pants? Yes, and MONEY. Donate to this BIG podcast on Patreon or Venmo: www.patreon.com/aprilwalterscheid // https://venmo.com/april-walterscheid
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