Please Send Dick Pics

This week's guest is Existential Engineer and Comedian, Alyssa Poteet!
 April Walterscheid and Alyssa discuss News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also delve into the following hot topics:

 ○ is air horn officially obsolete because our comedy mouths took over? ○ why being NOT self-conscious as a comedian could get you 75 million dollars ○ as soon as you're 100% self-conscious - YOU'RE DONE 
○ why having an engineering degree plastered on your wall feels spooky
 ○ how to disappoint your mom by doing comedy 
 ○ why society is one BIG junkie
 ○ what it’s like to have a decent soul that is ruined by greed
 ○ 15 ways to turn-on your man when all you need is ANAL ○ democratic debates getting the snapchat filter treatment
 ○ Jeffrey Epstein and how Louis CK is actually scraps for the big dogs 
○ how to accidentally turn a 2-minute joke into a 12-minute joke nightmare of anxiety
 ○ when your 3-year-old nephew hits on you and gets away with it
 ○ finding your calling card as a comedian based on the jokes you write
 ○ Kathy Griffin ○ everyday people who want to be the leader of their own divisive group that thinks exactly like they do
 ○ giving up on ALL self-help articles to find your inner voice and confidence again ○ ups and downs of manifestation ○ does this podcast description read like a cosmopolitan magazine cover? does it make you want to listen?
 ○ how the world becoming one giant improv troupe would fix everything 
○ PLUS! other things to overthink about PROUDLY Alyssa’s Twitter: www.twitter.com/potweet901
 Alyssa's Instagram: www.instagram.com/complete_poteet Shoutout to comedians KJ Samora and Ali Musa. "Oops!... I Did It Again [Instrumental]" by Max Martin and Rami Yacoub "Dear Diary [Instrumental]" by Timmy Allen and Barry J. Eastmond * * * * * * * Lyrics: Oops!... I’ve been dick pic’d again It came through my Hotmail Got lost in the spam Oo crabby crabby Oops!... you think that I love it Because it’s sent from your pants I’m not that into it * * * * * * * Dear Diary Today I saw a dick pic And I wonder if it noticed me It made me go gay-ay-ay

 Dear Diary I can't get it off my mind And it scares me Cause I've never felt this way 

No one in this world Knows me better than you do So Dick Diary 
 I'll confide in you
 Dear Diary I saw his dick in person As it swung by I thought it smiled at me And I wondered
 Does he know I’m currently HARD !?! I tried to smile, but I could hardly breathe Should I tell it how I feel Or would that make me gay? Diary, tell me what to say (Please tell me if I’m gay?) * * * * * * * Recorded in Garage Band from my own bed - thank you technology for making these parody songs possible. 🖤

This week's guest is Physician Assistant and Comedian, Michele Taylor Paden! April Walterscheid and Michele discuss News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also delve into the following hot topics: ○ growing up in Colorado ○ moving to San Francisco ○ seeing comedian Ali Wong before her Netflix specials ○ working in a hospital emergency room on Thanksgiving ○ being mistaken for a Mormon or cult member everyday ○ texting a guy 159,000 times ○ how women get prosecuted for things less worse than murder or rape ○ how men get away with rape ○ children overdosing on edibles ○ drugs expediting psychosis in all ages ○ generalized phobia of snakes ○ finding a snake on a canoe Michele's Instagram: www.instagram.com/michele.c.paden "Gold Skull" by Miniature Tigers

This week’s special guest is Comedic Impressionist and Lover of Foreign Crime Shows, Kristen Van Nest! April Walterscheid and Kristen discuss News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also delve into the following hot topics: ○ gay snails as pets
 ○ visiting 40+ countries ○ how a pedophile saved her life ○ OHIO ○ why Swedish crime shows have great physical acting ○ her addiction to watching “Swedish Dicks” on PopTV ○ the difference between French crime shows vs. American crime shows ○ finding an old cosplay acquaintance on True Crime Daily who happened to go on a murder spree ○ spending a portion of her life living in China ○ the character she plays on “Chunky Zeta” on Amazon Prime ○ her poignant sketch "People's Republic of America" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihnspyuPTH8) ○ what it’s like to actually visit North Korea (did she actually know Otto Warmbier?) ○ her UCB improv troupe Pinup Squirrels ○ she also explains the phrase Bernie Bro 
Kristen’s Instagram: www.twitter.com/kristenvannest
 Checkout her Match.com parodies too! Gary: https://www.instagram.com/p/BtJXpNMg8Gr/ Trixie: https://www.instagram.com/p/Btt07X2AWeZ Tina: https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt3yJisAJAH “Someday I'll Grow To Be As Tall As The Giant” by Animal Collective

This week’s special guest is Comedian and One Woman Show, Diana Dinerman!
 April Walterscheid and Diana discuss News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also delve into the following hot topics:
 ○ working on your comedy from an internal place within yourself instead of where you think you should be ○ her experience starring as Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz ○ The Ghost Sonata ○ Christopher Durang plays ○ comedy is all about being a professional noticer ○ dating guys who look like melting candles ○ dick pics through the centuries ○ Civil War era dick pics ○ 12-year-olds drinking coffee in Lima, Peru ○ Valentine’s Day-themed Would You Rathers ○ why wearing a red dress is insane now ○ oiling up in grapeseed instead of baby ○ growing up in Washington DC ○ dates pulling out velcro wallets means having no bed frame ○ how to pronounce her last name and why 
 Diana’s Twitter: www.twitter.com/ddinerman
 Detour is the title of Diana's one-woman show. Please check it out! “Quick Canal” by Atlas Sound ft. Lætitia Sadier

This week’s special guest is Former Government Survey Spy and Comedian, Jessica Abrams! April Walterscheid and Jessica discuss News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also delve into the following hot topics: ○ government shutdown ○ trickle down economics is more like trickle up economics ○ marginalized groups who enjoy being republican ○ government surveys as a day job ○ numbing society ○ growing up in North Carolina ○ performing comedy in New York ○ being a writer in Los Angeles ○ her web series “Knocking On Doors” ○ how to avoid the Super Bowl by podcasting in your parents abandoned shed ○ how human connection can’t be replaced by inanimate objects ○ dating wins and losses ○ hating on dick pics ○ plus, a brief interview with her character from “Knocking Doors,” Louise Bice Jessica’s Twitter: www.twitter.com/jessicaabrams3 Jessica’s Website: www.jessicaabrams.com Jessica’s Web series: www.knocking-on-doors.com “Mr. Bad Guy” by Freddie Mercury

This week's guest is MTV Writer and Olympic Comedian, Lisa Curry! 
April Walterscheid and Lisa discuss News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also delve into the following hot topics: ○ The Beatles ○ Lisa Maria Presley ○ Walk of Shame Tour ○ growing up amongst lifejackets ○ being in a lifejacket gang at a marina ○ visiting her very Republican parents ○ her parents not knowing how planes work ○ her Grandma’s expensive doll collection ○ hoarders and collectors scrounging for money ○ hoarders and collectors not knowing how to sell their expensive stuff on eBay ○ being the first female comedian at a comedy festival in the UK ○ essentials for touring ○ pure emotional exhaustion from living the dream as a comedian ○ hosting the PBS documentary “Angeleno” ○ being single for 10 glorious years ○ sitting next to empty chairs at restaurants ○ families who makeout with each other ○ other Lisa Curry’s she has read about online Shoutouts and mentions: Comedian Erik Griffin, The Mystery Hour in Springfield, Missouri, and all the Lisa Curry's of the world Lisa’s awesome EPK: http://lisa-curry.squarespace.com/new-page-2 Lisa’s Twitter: twitter.com/lisa_curry
 Lisa’s Website: www.lisacurry.net “Keep Yourself Alive” by Queen

This week's guest is Amazon's Danger & Eggs Writer and Reality Bytes Show Host, Courtney Kocak! April Walterscheid and Courtney discuss News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also delve into the following hot topics: ○ Minnesota ○ sledding into a world of cockleburs (spikey balls) ○ small town abductions and murders ○ how winning a 2nd Place mug as a child in a writing contest changed everything ○ creating more dynamic women roles just by switching from actor to writer ○ how everyone seems to live near Cafe 101 in Los Angeles ○ buying her own article in the LA Times ○ John Stamos on TV show poster as a guest role ○ being a writing assistant on the former TV show Necessary Roughness ○ being reprimanded for pitching ideas in the writer's room ○ how her pitch got used for an entire season on a TV show ○ why dating apps make us lie about our height ○ how New Zealand is the Minnesota of the Southern Hemisphere ○ why she was happy to have her writing rejected 212 times in one year ○ how rejection can turn into a YES so don't burn any bridges ○ why guys who send her dick pics feel skeptical ○ cliches are the best Shoutouts and special mentions: Sofiya Alexandra, Helsinki Finland, Shadi, Petosky, Courtney's little brothers (Jordan, Matt & Ben), Kate Berlant, Rhea Butcher, Cameron Esposito, and Whitney Bell the Dick Pic Expert (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbUWYnV6d4I). Courtney's 212 Rejections in One Year Article: https://contently.net/2019/01/10/voices/why-rejections-were-the-best-thing-to-happen-to-me/ Courtney's Twitter: www.twitter.com/courtneykocak Courtney's Website: www.courtneykocak.com "Killer Queen" by Queen

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2019! This week's guest is NBC Temp Worker and Professional Sketch Comedian, Janet Quinonez! April Walterscheid and Janet discuss News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also delve into the following hot topics: ○ Norman Lear, Carol Burnett, Mel Brooks, & Benny Hill ○ The Jeffersons ○ Houston, Texas born and raised ○ growing up with Catholic parents ○ female bullies in elementary school ○ Yo Mama jokes ○ Danielle + Janet = BFFs ○ her cat named Fee #PhishSong ○ her biggest regret involving George Carlin ○ working for an oil company ○ top skill she learned from the UCB Sketch Writing Program ○ Conan O'Brien performing at her comedy show Drunkalogue ○ Charles Manson's autopsy ○ drinking wine out of a Pringles can while riding around Walmart ○ Pringles Chip wine pairings ○ why she's the first woman ever to not receive a dick pic ○ how to land that Hollywood job you want ○ why "Live and Let Die" by The Wings still tortures her today ○ Kelsey Grammer's pretentiously puzzling accent Shoutouts and special mentions: Upright Citizens Brigade, Jackie Kashian, Justin Michael, Conan O'Brien, Brigid Kelley of Pussies Grab Back, George Carlin, Rhea Butcher, The Internet Read Aloud, Clint Eastwood, Margot Robbie, Saturday Night Live, and Karen Kirkland and her Palm Springs writing retreat "The Breakk" (www.thebreakk.com). News article source: https://nypost.com/2019/01/13/walmart-bans-woman-for-riding-electric-cart-guzzling-wine-from-pringles-can/ If you're a sober or non-sober comedian and would like to be a guest on Janet's Los Angeles Comedy Show DRUNKALOGUE, mention April and email the show at: drunkalogueshow@gmail.com Janet's Twitter: twitter.com/janetqprice Janet's Website: www.janetquinonez.com "Elevator Music" by Beck

THE WHITE ELEPHANT EPISODE! This week’s guest co-host is One-Liner Queen, Comedian Kirsten Alberts! April Walterscheid and Kirsten talk about News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also talk about... Listen and find out! Happy Christmas Eve and don't forget to leave carrots out for the reindeer tonight please. If you have a cool parent, they'll eat half the carrots and create sleigh tracks in the grass with their tennis shoes while you're sleeping to blow your kid mind in the morning. Kirsten's Twitter: https://twitter.com/DirtyHippyComic “The Nutcracker Suite (Baz Kuts Breaks)“ by Berlin Symphony Orchestra (April has been waiting 11 years to use this song in something) “Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town” by Mariah Carey Runner Up Song: "Let It Snow (JustFurKiks Remix)" by Frank Sinatra https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-sOAnwh7MA

This week’s guest cohost is VERY VERY Serious Actor and Accidentally Funny Person, Melissa Neiger! April Walterscheid and Melissa talk about News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also talk about The Milk Corner, improv galore, the dominatrix woman of every girls' group bathroom visit, sex hotlines that make everything sound like a question, how it’s important to ALWAYS lose your keys in an espresso machine situation, how warm places feel like a hug, Jessica Simpson, Natalie Portman, Blueberry Farm, divorcée, SouljaGame Console, copying everything out there and selling it for a much lower price, Robin Hood for Youuuu, SouljaBoy Food Stamps, Kevin Hart, Nintendo, Meme Spam, cheap Dre Beats, BRACES, the immense joy of keeping you whole life one big secret from social media because you’re too cool for everyone, and legally lowering your age by 20 years. Melissa’s Instagram: instagram.com/melissa.lavonne April's introduction based on a brace-face character Melissa does! “Thank You For Being A Friend“ by Andrew Gold

THE SUMO GIRL EPISODE! This week’s guest co-host is Jewish-American Princess and Comedian, Kazu Kasano! April Walterscheid and Kazu talk about News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also talk about Japanese memories, being married to a Jewish magician, pigtails, how the average person will interact with 16 murderers in their lifetime, how to spot a liar, police interrogations, Karate Chop Teriyaki Comedy, The Drifters (Japanese improv sketch group), Egyptian Courtroom, being put on trial for wearing a 1950s bathing suit to an award show, Rania Youssef, being 50-years-old but looking like a 20-year-old, when people pass their own limitations as “good advice” to you, accidentally getting thousands of followers on YouTube, San Francisco, TimeWarp Records, how violence is a no-no in France, cheating on Little House On The Prairie, creepy asian girl fetishes, wishing your own husband would send you a dick pic, and April accidentally offends Kazu but what else is new? Kazu’s Awesome Website: http://kazukusano.com “Bicycle Race“ by Queen “Bohemian Dicksody” by April (64 tracks in GarageBand, smartphone earbuds microphone, her voice only, recorded from the convenience of her bed) Lyrics: I see a little silhouetto of a dick Scarame, Scarame, why you senda me a dick pic Thunderdicks of lightning, very very frightening! (Hungileo) Hungileo, (Hungileo) Hungileo, Hungileo jigalo penisico... (I’m just a poor dick, nobody loves me) He's just a poor dick from a poor family Sliding his pics into DM’osity Easy come, easy go, are you a man ho? Richardson! No, we will not let you ho (Let him ho) Richardson! We will not let you ho (Let him ho) Richardson! We will not let you ho (Let him ho) Will not let you ho (Let him ho) Will not let you ho (Let him ho) Ah, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho (Oh call me daddy, call me daddy) Call me daddy, let me ho Beelzebub put a devil in his scrotum, for pee, for pee, for peeeeeee!! So you think can jerk off into my eye So you think you can glove me and leave me to die Ohhhh baby Won’t you dick pic me baby Just gotta get out Just gotta right into email…

THE IMPROV THEATRE EPISODE! This week’s guest co-host is Phoenix Upright Citizens Brigade Equivalent and Undisputed Improv Royalty of the World, Jacque Arend! April Walterscheid and Jacque talk about News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also talk about Jacque's improv troupe Mail Order Bride, feeling lost, waitressing, what it’s like starting an improv theatre from scratch, traveling to different countries to do improv, Ireland, hitting a dead end even though everyone thinks you're awesome, Cynthia Nixon, New York, Second Beat Improv Theater, iO Chicago, Michigan, ballsy improvisor Carrie Benton (RIP), and April and Jacque improvise scenes based on recent news headlines! #SkewedNewsHour Jacque’s Instagram: www.instagram.com/goldtoothe “Broken Hearts Are For Assholes“ by Frank Zappa (Runner-ups: "Hot Poop" and "Bow Tie Daddy" by Frank Zappa)

THE TEQUILA SHOTS EPISODE! This week’s guest co-host is Classically Trained Italian Opera Singer and Comedian, Angela Merkin Haines! April Walterscheid and Angela talk about News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also talk about (and do) tequila shots, boujee basil and Angela's boujee basal cell cancer, Seattle, preferring cocaine over weed, best marriage advice, best one-liner to say to a heckler EVER, horror movies, The Dolls, Queen of Karaoke, blocking mom from seeing Facebook posts and ruining Christmas, hypothetically dating a deaf guy, Macaroni Grill, Pickle Rick, cats getting asthma from themselves, wining and dining, wax talk, Taurus’s wearing sweaters all the time, fondue, Sauvignon Blanc, and one of them feels up the other’s faux tits. Can you guess which one? We also play the "Guess Where Angela Got Cancer?" game. Angela’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/angbangs Thank you to The Vig Restaurant! Shoutout to Gorky the band and John Higbee the comedian! And Angela's boujee basal cell cancer. "Hanasakajijii Four: A Great Wind, More Ash" by Anathallo

THE MAD SCIENTIST EPISODE! This week’s guest co-host is Wicked Cool Lab Scientist and Comedian, Pallavi Gunalan! April Walterscheid and Pallavi talk about News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also talk about San Francisco, Sinead O’Connor, Islam, therapists, comedy ego, Surely, You’re Joking Mr. Feynman, growing up in Utah, how everyone is on their own path in life, taking a break from egotistic comedy scenes by dropping into other cities to do comedy, working in science labs since 13 years of age, The Craft, drinking blood, getting a PhD in computational neuroscience, OCD, butt jokes, losing your wallet or smartphone so many times that a backup plan is implemented, and how feeling the joke instead of writing it down is the worst advice ever. By the way, this year for Halloween Pallavi is going as “cool with her ex.” Pallavi’s Twitter: http://twitter.com/pallavigunalan Pallavi runs a badass comedy show called Facial Recognition at West Side Theatre! Check it out! http://www.facialrecognitioncomedy.com "The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror Theme" by Richard Bellis and Marious Constant "Grim Grinning Ghosts Instrumental" by Buddy Baker "Monster Mash" by Bobby Pickett & The Crypt-Kickers

This week’s special guest cohost is Dick Expert and Comedian, Barbie Dahl! April Walterscheid and Barbie talk about News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also talk about The Comedy Cellar, meeting Andy Dick in Los Angeles, how everyone has probably met Andy Dick in Los Angeles, growing up on the New York-New Jersey state border, working at a bank in Manhattan, how the most exciting part about working at a bank is the potential for getting robbed, Kanye West-Trump, royalties for music artists, Kristen Bell, Disney Princesses, children’s book author, ghost dicks, where Rosie O’Donnell lives, Rockland County, being interviewed by the Associated Press about Louis CK, Nyack NY, and super old guy interrupting our podcast because he still lives in a time where women were brainwashed into having no career goals or ambition. Yay!! We also answer the age-old question: Does the dick pic resemble the man its attached to? Kind of like how pets or cars resemble their owners. Barbie’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/BarbieBurd9
 Barbie’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Barbiedahlcomedy Dress your dicks up for Halloween and send the photos to pleasesenddickpics@gmail.com by October 28th, 2018! Thank you! Also, April is currently starring in a movie playing in actual movie theaters right now! Buy tickets here: https://www.harkins.com/movies/pocketman-and-cargoboy-84884-0 “You Don’t Own Me” by Lesley Gore

This week’s special guest cohost is Trucker and Comedian, Tara Shakespeare! April Walterscheid and Tara talk about News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also talk about truck driving across the USA, Kanye West at the White House, mental health, friend with benefits, 30-year-old grandmas, loving a clean house, Colin Kaepernick, Chicago Bears, football, police brutality, bend the knee, The Green Mile, Pretty Woman, food stamps, last meal, shitting in hats, two hotdogs in one bun, Kevin Hart, how real true friends don’t seem to exist anymore, seeing friends naked being the new requirement for friendship, Tiffany Haddish, delivering the food to a store then going and shopping at that same store, comedians tactfully reacting to criticism from other comedians, apple season, what it’s like to take 5 kids to Costco, and kids living off of cheesecake samples from the cheesecake lady. Tara’s Instagram: instagram.com/mrssuge Tara's Facebook: facebook.com/Tara-Shakespeare-Laughs-157934698368364/ “Put A Light On” by Generationals

THE SPOT THE MISOGYNY EPISODE! This week’s special guest cohost is Gang Banger and Comedian, Leslie Barton! April Walterscheid and Leslie talk about News and Celebrity Dick of the Week (all Republican Senators who voted for Brett Kavanaugh). They also talk about what Mishka Shubaly's penis looks like, how Lindsey Graham is Leslie’s friend from school, Michael Jackson, Blue Whale, mad libs, famous feminists, Elizabeth Taylor, Cleopatra, Aileen Wuornos, Monster, Spot the Misogyny: The Home Game (they find one misandrist thing), The New Yorker, Charlize Theron, Andy Warhol, The Scum Manifesto, Camille Puglia, Sexual Personae, anti-feminist feminist, Diane DiMassa, cartoonist, Cashmere Mist, vegan cookouts are all about the sauce, jackfruit, making your own chorizo, people who ask vegans if they can eat caviar, Superman, Dr. Oz eating a horse heart, college debt including rape cases, what astrological signs they have dated, reading Cosmopolitan magazine confessions in different voices, family members criticizing Facebook posts back in the day, Lizzie Borden, how to create your own rave music, conartist mascara ads, dissing on brunch, how to be "cartoon deep", feeling the sexiest when taking a shit, expensive vegan popsicles, Trump causing rampant divorces other than his own, and they perform a live smelling of perfumes in a Cosmopolitan magazine. They also read sexually graphic horoscopes. #cuminmyeye Leslie’s Twitter: twitter.com/yorbeautfl “Time Bomb” by The Format

This week’s special guest cohost is Night Owl and Comedian, Janae Burris! April Walterscheid and Janae talk about News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also talk about The Pussy Bros, Denver comedy scene, Gaston, how to book big names on your comedy show, opening for Michael Che, performing in Elizabethan plays, orange juice, Lo-Dough vs. Hi-Dough, boyfriend dick, Cyrano de Bergerac, Brett Kavanaugh, Christine Blasey Ford, wigs named Sally and Morgan, motor boating dicks, bras for balls, Comedy Works, being in two different months at once, Josh Blue, comedian get-togethers in the park, goodbye free lunch program, secret sausage biscuits on Sausage Biscuit Day, Ms. Pat, Kanye West, SNL, and watching German Porn with the sound ON. Janae’s Twitter: twitter.com/negativenegro “Murphy’s Song” by Kevin Devine (Runner Up Song Choice: https://youtube.com/watch?v=UxwnTAwUMJg #kevindevine #manchesterorchestra)

THE GERMANY EPISODE! This week’s special guest cohost is a Yelp Salesperson and Comedian, Hannah Tighe! April Walterscheid and Hannah talk about News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also talk about dick pics as silhouette portraits, steins, Bert KreiSCHer, when someone sends a dick pic before their face pic, doing comedy in Des Moines Iowa, people throwing rocks through bus windows, Noah Cyrus, $12,000 bottle of tears, Twilight Zone, Jordan Peele, mayonnaise on french fries, Germans, eating hot fries off a train, Bumble, Sex and the City, IMITATION CHICKEN, California Adventure, John Mulaney being a perfect antique lamp (because his wife makes lampshades), why Hannah shoved her best friend in the face after they flew out to surprise her, Hannah driving her friends around on her own fucking birthday, Natasha Leggero, that 1989 Batman Movie with The Penguin, witnessing a Trump son look-a-like lead a girl on, how men need to book more females on comedy shows (like all the females on this podcast!), LOVING Mondays, and how Hannah almost shit her dress in front of Tom Segura. Hannah's Twitter: https://twitter.com/hanny_tie Female comedians you should book on your next show or podcast, compiled by our previous podcast guest, Hattie Hayes: https://medium.com/@Hattastrophe/women-you-should-book-phoenix-comedy-f59a605a7fc1 "Possum Kingdom” by The Toadies (April obsessed over this song at age 12 for some disturbing reason... oh and because she likes drums)

THE IT CROWD EPISODE! (not the TV show exactly but in the motherboard of that) This week’s special guest cohost is a Game Programmer and Comedian, Shelby Gonzales! April Walterscheid and Shelby talk about News and Celebrity Dick of the Week. They also talk about Saved by the Bell the Board Game, Clarissa Explains It All, mean moms, SEINFELD, working in information technology, Nick Burns: Your Company's Computer Guy, pizza tattoos, Selena, falling in love in a Domino's Pizza place, non-tech savvy customers who say "uh yeah..." 100 times in one conversation, and the power of simply asking "IS IT ON?" Shelby's Twitter: https://twitter.com/shelbsterina "Bridges and Balloons” by Joanna Newsom (runner up "Sawdust and Diamonds")