Profiles in LGBTQ+ Courage

In the prolonged, often contentious battle for marriage equality in the United States, it can truly be said that Linda and Gloria Bailey-Davies are pioneers. Together now for over 50 years, the happily married Cape Cod couple, both former therapists, were among the seven couples who were litigants in the Massachusetts same-sex marriage case (Goodrich vs Department of Public Health) that led to the landmark legalization of same-sex marriage in the Bay State in 2004. Victory in that case helped create momentum for the eventual legalization of same-sex marriage throughout the U.S. in June of 2015. In this moving and wide-ranging interview with PFLAG Cape Cod’s Rick Koonce, recorded just before the 2024 presidential election, Linda and Gloria, who never imagined they’d become social activists, describe how they got involved as key players in one of the most important social movements of the last 50 years. On a personal level, they also describe how they found each other, the role ping-pong played in their early relationship, what their journey toward committing themselves to one another has been like, and what they see as the secrets to anyone forming and sustaining a healthy and loving long-term relationship. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For more information, visit the PFLAG Cape Cod website: https://www.pflagcapecod.org/podcasts.html © 2020 - 2024 PFLAG Cape Cod

Sarah Messeck and Avery Condon are a young couple very much in love. The two met at a Cape Cod Pride event in June 2022 and soon afterwards began dating. Eventually they plan to marry. Sarah, an animal welfare advocate and horse riding enthusiast, identifies as a cisgender woman and uses the pronouns she and her. In the past, she had relationships with people of different genders. Avery, who’s passionate about environmental and social justice issues, and was previously married to a woman, today identifies as transgender and non-binary and uses they and them pronouns. In this fascinating interview with PFLAG Cape Cod’s Rick Koonce, Sarah and Avery talk in depth about their relationship – how they met, and the basis of their attraction to one another on many levels… They offer illuminating insights into how the dynamics of physical and emotional attraction, gender identity, and gender presentation operate for them in the context of a non-traditional relationship… But that relationship is traditional in at least one sense, as the two plan to tie the marriage knot – most likely in the fall of 2025 - with both their families and friends lovingly looking on. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For more information, visit the PFLAG Cape Cod website: https://www.pflagcapecod.org/podcasts.html © 2020 - 2024 PFLAG Cape Cod

Dr. Jane Fleishman is an accomplished sexuality educator, writer, program developer, and researcher. In 2016, at the age of 62, she received her doctorate in Human Sexuality from the Widener University Center for Human Sexuality Studies after a successful career as a consultant for a large public mental health system. In this fascinating interview with PFLAG Cape Cod’s Rick Koonce, Fleishman delves deeply into the challenges LGBTQ+ seniors face as they navigate the passages of advancing age, and must deal with issues of health and wellness, self-esteem, companionship and intimacy, and continued sexual vitality and identity. Fleishman has long believed that it’s important for members of the LGBTQ+ community to redefine their ideas of sexual vitality, beauty, and desirability, and to debunk old but enduring myths about sexuality and aging. “Wrinkles and gray hair are as beautiful as a face without wrinkles,” she says, adding, “I’m a campaign to invite people to love their aging queer bodies and to upend the narrative that the only kind of beauty is associated with youth.”  "That," she says, "is a binary way of looking at the world that doesn’t serve you, me or anybody else in the LGBTQ+ community.” Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For more information, visit the PFLAG Cape Cod website: https://www.pflagcapecod.org/podcasts.html © 2020 - 2024 PFLAG Cape Cod

Brett Smiley is the married, gay mayor of Providence, Rhode Island, the first in the city's 400-year history. Elected to office in 2022 on his second try for the job, Smiley got his start in Rhode Island politics years before, serving as Chief Operating Officer for Providence and Director of Administration for the Ocean State, as well as Chief of Staff to former Rhode Island Governor Gina Raimondo. In this revealing interview with PFLAG Cape Cod’s Rick Koonce, Brett talks about coming out as a gay man, and about being a political science and public policy nerd, even as a teenager, who developed an early passion for politics. He talks, too, about the mark he hopes to make on Providence as mayor, and about the high school teacher and coach who helped him believe in himself. Finally, he talks about being an uncle to his nephews, his love of running, his recovery from alcoholism in his early 20’s, and about meeting his husband, Jim, a prominent real estate agent in Rhode Island, and now the first First Gentleman of Providence. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For more information, visit the PFLAG Cape Cod website: https://www.pflagcapecod.org/podcasts.html © 2020 - 2024 PFLAG Cape Cod

Rick Miller is a psychotherapist who works extensively with gay men. Gay himself, he has pioneered the use of mind-body experiential therapy to assist gay men, and other members of the LGBTQ+ community, in dealing with early life trauma. Through doing such work, Rick has helped many in the community discover inner strength, build personal resiliency, embrace self-love, and build strong and healthy relationships with others. In this thought-provoking interview with PFLAG Cape Cod’s Rick Koonce, Rick talks about where his motivation to do this work comes from ... about the challenges gay men still face in today’s world ... And, how therapy can help anyone to overcome pain and find happiness and self-empowerment in the process. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For more information, visit the PFLAG Cape Cod website: https://www.pflagcapecod.org/podcasts.html © 2020 - 2024 PFLAG Cape Cod

Mara Betti is a successful, 50-something architect, working for one of the leading architectural firms in Boston. She’s also a transwoman and biological father of two sons, ages 18 and 22. In this deeply personal interview with PFLAG Cape Cod’s Rick Koonce, Mara talks emotionally about coming out and accepting herself as trans; a journey that has taken her decades, and which has put tremendous strain on her heterosexual marriage to her wife – whom she met in college and still describes as “my best friend.” She talks about the dark times she’s lived through and the steps she’s now taking, with the help of a therapist, to build a new identity, and to navigate a personal and social world she never imagined she’d be encountering at this stage of her life. And finally, she talks lovingly about her relationships with her two boys, with whom she wants to remain close, though she understands that this will take time, patience, and love on everyone’s parts. Especially, as her boys focus on discovering their own identities as young adults. As this intimate interview reveals, Mara, like other transgender people struggling to be themselves, displays tremendous resolve and resilience; qualities that indeed make her a compelling profile in LGBTQ+ courage. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For more information, visit the PFLAG Cape Cod website: https://www.pflagcapecod.org/podcasts.html © 2020 - 2023 PFLAG Cape Cod

Assigned female at birth, Jake Wanamaker is a 2023 graduate of Nauset High School on Cape Cod who today identifies as a Transman. For Jake, the awareness that he was born into a body of the wrong-gender for him came early, when he was only a few years old. But he didn’t have the knowledge or vocabulary with which to understand the feelings and emotions deep within him. So, he went online, at an early age, to learn more about the Transgender world and later found help from both a sensitive guidance counselor and a gifted therapist – who helped him better understand and claim his true gender identity. In this intimate and revealing interview with PFLAG Cape Cod’s Rick Koonce, which took place just weeks before his scheduled top surgery in July of 2023, Jake talks about the struggles he endured as a child and adolescent, trying to come to terms with who he is. He reveals the challenges he faced coming out to his parents, and how, with the help of friends, supportive and caring teachers, and healthcare professionals he began to fully embrace his gender identity. Jake also talks about the enthusiasm he feels today for the future… his excitement about attending college in the fall… and his desire to pursue a career as a scientific illustrator, combining his deep interests in both art and nature. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For more information, visit the PFLAG Cape Cod website: https://www.pflagcapecod.org/podcasts.html © 2020 - 2023 PFLAG Cape Cod

Ann Burke is a registered nurse and long-time advocate for Transgender people who live on Cape Cod, Nantucket, and Martha's Vineyard. She serves as a board member of the Cape and Islands Transgender Resource Fund, and also acts as a counselor and facilitator of Transgender social support meetings, held twice monthly on he Cape, under the auspices of Fenway Health of Boston. In this insightful interview with PFLAG Cape Cod's Rick Koonce, Ann, who is NOT Transgender herself, explains why she took on a role as a committed advocate for Transgender people. With a Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology, Ann shines a critical spotlight on the many challenges Transgender people face -- be it in navigating the legal and healthcare systems of Massachusetts, or dealing with discrimination in housing and employment. "When a Transgender person comes out, they often lose their entire support system," says Ann. "This often includes a person's family, partner, friends, neighbors and job." Despite those challenges, Ann says,"I have found Transgender people to be incredibly resilient in navigating legal, financial and healthcre obstacles as well as a modern world that is often hostile, intolerant, and ignorant about who they REALLY are. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For more information, visit the PFLAG Cape Cod website: https://www.pflagcapecod.org/podcasts.html © 2020 - 2023 PFLAG Cape Cod

Rikki Bates is a rock and roll drummer who has struggled much of her life with gender dysphoria. For years, like many Transgender people, she lived with deep depression, and a lack of adequate employment.  Then, she managed to get gender reassignment surgery which changed her life.  In the process, she also brought about precedent-setting changes in how Transgender health care is provided to people in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. In this fascinating and wide-ranging interview with PFLAG Cape Cod’s Rick Koonce, Rikki describes the bullying she encountered as a kid, the internal psychological confusion that she experienced as a child and adolescent, her struggles with depression as she entered adulthood, and the turn-around in her life that began to occur following gender affirming surgery and personal therapy.  She also reveals the fascinating components of gender-affirming surgery itself, the challenges of dating as a Transwoman, and offers advice to others who may think they are Transgender. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For more information, visit the PFLAG Cape Cod website: https://www.pflagcapecod.org/podcasts.html © 2020 - 2022 PFLAG Cape Cod

Transgender activist and first-time state legislator Zooey Zephyr made national headlines in April 2023 when she spoke out in support of Transgender rights in the Montana state legislature and was banished from legislative debate on the topic as a result. Courageous leadership is often defined by four compelling traits: Confidence in oneself, commitment to one’s values and beliefs, the ability to persist, and a warrior spirit! By those metrics, Transgender activist and first-time state legislator Zooey Zephyr is a rare leader with few peers in the social justice arena. The first-ever Transgender member of the Montana state legislature, Zooey, a newcomer to politics in 2022, made national and international headlines in April 2023 when she stood in opposition to Montana state legislation that would prohibit gender-affirming healthcare for Transgender youth. Her statements in support of Transgender people caused her to be banished from the statehouse floor, denied the opportunity to debate, and forced to operate, as a duly elected representative of her state, from a public bench in a hallway of the Montana statehouse. In this moving interview with PFLAG Cape Cod’s Rick Koonce, Representative Zephyr talks about the furor her presence caused on the statehouse floor, the passion she brings to her advocacy of transgender people, and how her experience as a champion high school wrestler helped prepare her for the nasty rough and tumble world of partisan politics. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For more information, visit the PFLAG Cape Cod website: https://www.pflagcapecod.org/podcasts.html © 2020 - 2022 PFLAG Cape Cod

At the age of 23, Felice Cohen was, like many other college graduates, hesitant about entering the real world, and at the same time, uncertain about her sexuality. Focused on landing her first job as a writer, falling in love was the last thing on Felice’s mind. But fall in love she did -- with her boss, Sarah, a woman 34 years older than she. It was a relationship that lasted 9 years. And for Felice, it was the first taste of true love and deep intimacy. But the affair took place in secrecy and ultimately ended in heartbreak. Now, Felice has written a book about her experience called Half In: A Coming of Age Memoir of Forbidden Love. When it was released in late September 2022 Felice’s book raced to the top of Amazon’s best seller lists in six categories. As Felice tells PFLAG Cape Cod’s Rick Koonce in this moving interview, writing this memoir proved a therapeutic experience that helped Felice to mend her hurting heart, and bring her deep love for Sarah out of the closet for the first time. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For more information, visit the PFLAG Cape Cod website: https://www.pflagcapecod.org/podcasts.html © 2022 PFLAG Cape Cod

Jere Mahaffey is a 35-year-old former Evangelical Christian. He’s also an out, married gay/bisexual man who has retained many of the tenets of his early Christian faith, while leaving other elements of evangelical doctrine behind him. As an adolescent, Jere was drawn initially to girls, and even had girlfriends while he was in junior high school. But eventually he discovered he found boys attractive as well. Today, he and his partner, Jesse, have been together for nine years and married for four. In this fascinating interview with PFLAG Cape Cod’s Rick Koonce, Jere talks about growing up in an Evangelical Christian household, about his love of God, his journey toward embracing his bisexual identity, and about being both Queer and Christian. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For more information, visit the PFLAG Cape Cod website: https://www.pflagcapecod.org/podcasts.html © 2022 PFLAG Cape Cod

Connor Ryan is an 18-year-old transgender male and 2022 graduate of Bourne High School in Bourne, MA. He’s also one of three recipients of the 2022 Anne Toran scholarship, an award given annually by PFLAG Cape Cod to high school seniors from the Cape in recognition of their courage and work on behalf of LGBTQ+ rights. In this insightful interview with PFLAG Cape Cod’s Rick Koonce, Connor talks about the time during his high school career when he boldly confronted a school committee member at a school board meeting about her transphobic remarks on social media. He also talks about his gender identity “journey of discovery” that has taken him, in his words, from “one end of the LGBTQ+ spectrum to the other.” Assigned female at birth, Connor thought, at one point in his life, that he was a “demi-girl” – somewhat like a girl, but not entirely. He later determined he felt more like a “demi-boy” who identifies mostly with things masculine. As he prepares in the fall of 2022 to go off to college at the University of New Hampshire, Connor describes himself as a Transman and says he’s focused these days on keeping a sense of humor about his gender identity and learning to be his own best friend in the process! Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For more information, visit the PFLAG Cape Cod website: https://www.pflagcapecod.org/podcasts.html © 2022 PFLAG Cape Cod

Lilith Rose is a twenty-something individual who identifies as transgender and non-binary. At the time of this interview, they had also just been named executive director of PFLAG San Francisco. Lilith grew up in what she describes as a toxic home environment. Born anatomically male, they first came out as gay before eventually discovering they are transgender. Today, Lilith is committed to educating others about the LGBTQ+ world. A professional speaker and blogger, they speak frequently on topics of social justice and teenage mental illness before audiences of educators, students, faith leaders, and others. In this wide-ranging interview with PFLAG Cape Cod’s Rick Koonce, Lilith talks about their own struggles with mental illness, with anxiety, ADHD, and depression. And all that came before confronting their challenges with sexual orientation and gender identity. Lilith also talks about the challenges of coming out to friends and family as a transgender person, developing healthy self-esteem and self-acceptance, and living and dating as a transgender person in what is still largely a sexually binary world, even in San Francisco. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For more information, visit the PFLAG Cape Cod website: https://www.pflagcapecod.org/podcasts.html © 2022 PFLAG Cape Cod

In October 1998, Matthew Shepard, a 21-year-old student at the University of Wyoming, was brutally attacked and tied to a fence outside of Laramie, Wyoming. Five days later he died of deep wounds inflicted in one of the most vicious anti-gay attacks in American history. In this wide-ranging interview with PFLAG Cape Cod’s Rick Koonce, Jeff Mack, a personal friend of Matt’s and today the Executive Vice President of the Matthew Shepard Foundation, talks movingly about Matt, his life, and the Foundation started by his parents, Judy and Dennis Shepard, just months after Matt’s gruesome death. Jeff talks about the foundation’s ongoing work to combat hate and prejudice. He talks, too, about the Laramie Project, a now famous play by Moises Kaufman about the city and its residents that was produced after Matthew’s murder. And finally, Jeff talks about the day, in 2018, 20 years after his death, when Matthew was finally laid to rest in the safe sanctuary of Washington DC’s National Cathedral. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For more information, visit the PFLAG Cape Cod website: https://www.pflagcapecod.org/podcasts.html © 2022 PFLAG Cape Cod

Alex Hagler is a Latin and history teacher at a prestigious private school outside Boston. They’re also the recent co-founder of their school’s first Gay Straight Alliance. GSA’s (also known as Genders & Sexualities Alliances) operate in many school systems across the country today. As clubs, they’re intended to serve as safe spaces for LGBTQ+ youth in middle schools and high schools. Increasingly, however, they’re also serving as catalysts for social, racial, and gender justice. In this interview, conducted just after they founded their school’s GSA Chapter, Alex talks with PFLAG Cape Cod’s Rick Koonce about the valuable role GSAs can play in schools today. Not just as safe places for young people to be affirmed in their sexual orientation and gender identity, but also as resources for educating entire communities about human sexuality, sexual orientation, and gender diversity. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For more information, visit the PFLAG Cape Cod website: https://www.pflagcapecod.org/podcasts.html © 2022 PFLAG Cape Cod

Imagine being in a traditional heterosexual marriage for many years and then discovering that your husband or wife is gay or lesbian. What would you think? How would you react? What would you do? And where would you go to get help and find understanding in dealing with your situation? In the late 1980s, Kimberly Brooks Mazella found herself in this very situation, after being married to her husband Rob for less than three years. Today, she is a McLean, VA-based counselor and therapist who specializes in working with individuals and couples who find themselves in “mixed sexual orientation” marriages. In this fascinating interview with PFLAG Cape Cod’s Rick Koonce, Kimberly describes the complicated psychological dynamics at play within mixed sexual orientation marriages. She explains the challenges for both the gay partner and the straight spouse in navigating these situations. And, she talks about why it’s so important that the pain and perspectives of both parties in such relationships be respected, acknowledged, and seen as valid in their own respective ways. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For more information, visit the PFLAG Cape Cod website: https://www.pflagcapecod.org/podcasts.html © 2022 PFLAG Cape Cod

“Vernon Diannah Porter” is probably not a name you readily recognize. But that’s because he’s much better known by his stage name and alter ego, “Lady Di”, host of the popular Friday evening radio show, Leggs Up and Dancing, on WOMR-FM in Provincetown, Massachusetts. Lady Di has been a popular fixture at WOMR for the last 22 years. Each week, she hosts her show from her home in Sandwich, MA, playing music -- mostly from the 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s, -- all the while presiding over a one-person house party that she enthusiastically invites all her listeners to attend. And her fans? They’re both numerous and diverse. Young and old, they include lots of members of Provincetown‘s LGBTQ+ community but also legions of loyal straight listeners, as well as veterans, active-duty military, and fans who live as far away as Spain and Guam. During her show, Lady Di makes her audience feel very much at home, calling listeners “Honey” and “Darling.” And more often than not, when on air, she can be heard singing along – often off key – with the likes of Connie Francis and Anne Murray, the latter of whom was a childhood friend back in their hometown of Spring Hill, Nova Scotia. But Lady Di is much more than her on-air persona might imply. Besides being one of P’town’s most recognizable public figures, she’s also a life coach, a prodigious fundraiser for local causes, and a minister who’s officiated at over 900 straight and same-sex weddings. In this wide-ranging interview with PFLAG Cape Cod’s Rick Koonce, Lady Di talks not only about the public personality all of her listeners know, but also about more private matters … How she was bullied and made fun of as a kid. Why she’s been described by others as “gender-gifted.” Why she finds such a strong sense of purpose in helping members of the LGBTQ+ community embrace their true identity. And finally about her battle with cancer. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For more information, visit the PFLAG Cape Cod website: https://www.pflagcapecod.org/podcasts.html © 2022 PFLAG Cape Cod

Some life partners first spot each other from across a crowded room. But not Helen Malone. With a piece of birthday cake in hand, she literally bumped into her future wife, Jane Martin from behind, at a birthday party for a mutual friend back in 2002. From the moment they met, the lives of both women changed rapidly. And while their lives today on Cape Cod -- with three dogs – seems like the picture of domestic bliss, their back stories include marriages by both women to former husbands... three kids of Helen’s – one by artificial insemination... Jane’s journey to becoming a parent, and even a child custody battle that, at one point in their relationship, tested Helen and Jane’s collective mettle. In this interview with PFLAG Cape Cod’s Rick Koonce, Jane and Helen, together now for over 19 years, describe what they say are the secrets to creating and sustaining a loving, long-term lesbian marriage. What matters most, they say, are good communication, patience, compromise, and the courage and confidence to be yourself.   Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!   For more information, visit the PFLAG Cape Cod website: https://www.pflagcapecod.org/podcasts.html   © 2022 PFLAG Cape Cod

Dr. Joan Beilstein is a Lesbian Episcopal Priest, and Rector of the Church of the Ascension in Silver Spring MD. Today, though a senior, well-respected pastor in the Episcopal Diocese of Washington, DC, there was a time when Joan was rejected by her own priest for being gay. And even after being ordained a priest herself in 1994, Joan struggled to find employment, because no one wanted to hire an openly lesbian priest. In this revealing interview with PFLAG Cape Cod’s Rick Koonce, Joan looks back on a storied career that has spanned nearly 30 years. And she talks movingly about how, for her, human sexuality, sexual orientation, gender identity, and spirituality are all beautifully and inextricably intertwined. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For more information, visit the PFLAG Cape Cod website: https://www.pflagcapecod.org/podcasts.html © 2022 PFLAG Cape Cod