Proxy with Yowei Shaw

It’s the knot you can’t untangle - the problem so unique, it makes you feel alone. But what if someone is out there who gets it? On Proxy, we find that person. The perfect stranger to offer the insight to demystify the feelings that shape us all. Yowei Shaw (formerly of NPR’s Invisibilia) and her team of emotional investigative journalists, at your service. To help this independent show that could exist and get exclusive bonus episodes, consider becoming a member of our Patreon: patreon.com/proxypodcast. Thank you for our co-conspirator in this experiment. We feel so lucky getting to make this show for you. Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Presenting: I felt too seen. Um, dragged. (from Basket Case), Plus an Update

Basket Case is a new show about mental health. In this episode, host Nicole Kelly (NK) takes on perfectionism, an issue that Yowei has personally struggled with. Plus, some breaking news about Proxy.   Listener survey: bit.ly/proxysurvey   To help this independent show exist, consider joining our Patreon: patreon.com/proxypodcast. You’ll get access to our newsletter and exclusive monthly bonus episodes.    This month, Yowei talks to NK about their relationships with perfectionism and how having forced fun and a punk rock attitude have helped them creatively survive.   Episode credits:  Basket Case is a show from Molten Heart and iHeart Podcasts, created and executive produced by Jasmine (JT) Green, and hosted by Nicole Kelly (NK)   You can listen to Basket Case on all podcast platforms: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-basket-case-217055280/   Proxy is produced by Kim Nederveen Pieterse. Nik LeBlanc, and Yowei Shaw, mixed by Kyle Pulley

02-06
40:49

Presenting: An Evil Man (from Little Devils), Plus a Year-End Recap

When Yowei heard about the new podcast Little Devils, she was like: finally, someone being honest about a thing we all do. On Little Devils, Jasmin Bauomy interrogates the snap judgments she makes of other people, to find the story behind that annoying thing they do.    In this episode, we share a story from Little Devils and we toast 2024 with a year-end recap.    From the episode:  Listen to the full season of Little Devils on all platforms: https://pod.link/1783097137 Support their Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/littledevils  Follow @littledevilsshow and @jasminbauomy on Instagram and BlueSky   Episode credits:  Produced by Yowei Shaw, Kim Nederveen Pieterse,and Nik LeBlanc Mixed by Kyle Pulley   To help this independent show exist, consider joining our Patreon: patreon.com/proxypodcast. You'll get exclusive monthly bonus episodes, our newsletter, and other goodies.   Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw   Get in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com    

12-30
47:43

The Group That Gets It

The story of someone who suffered alone in secret for 8 years with a problem he was too afraid to Google -  and then he stumbled into a support group. In this episode, we dive into the emotional dynamics of support groups with Jason Yu. Why did support groups help him, when nothing else did?   From the episode:  Fidget Podcast - Jason Yu's support group in podcast form for people who compulsively pick their skin, pull their hair, bite their nails Follow the Fidget Podcast on Instagram The TLC Foundation - an organization for body-focused repetitive behaviors The Art of Gathering and How We Show Up: Jason’s book recs for learning how to build community and gather   Episode credits:  Produced by Yowei Shaw Edited by John DeLore Mixed by Kyle Pulley   To help this independent show exist, consider joining our Patreon: patreon.com/proxypodcast. You’ll get access to our newsletter and exclusive monthly bonus episodes.   This month, Yowei talks to Jason about the lessons from support groups that he's applied to other parts of his life.    Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw   Get in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

12-03
01:05:14

Is there anything we can actually do about polarization?

Whoever wins the election, Americans will still want to rip each other's heads off. Social psychologist Jay Van Bavel helps us understand why we should care about polarization, how we got here, and what, if anything, we can do about it.    From the episode:  Jay Van Bavel is a social psychologist at New York University and the author of The Power of Us: Harnessing Our Shared Identities to Improve Performance, Increase Cooperation, and Promote Social Harmony: https://www.powerofus.online/ The paper on political sectarianism Jay co-wrote: https://www.jayvanbavel.com/_files/ugd/9c6579_b289e58eb65b461aa67c03f4cc5d4804.pdf Follow Jay on X and Instagram: @jayvanbavel   Episode credits: Produced by Yowei Shaw, with help from Anakaren Santana Edited by Tim Howard Mixed by Kyle Pulley   Proxy is a completely independent production. To support the show and get exclusive bonus episodes and our newsletter, consider joining our Patreon: patreon.com/proxypodcast.    Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw   Rate and review us on Apple Podcasts! That stuff matters apparently.

10-29
43:47

So many tears but what do they say?

We all know that moment - when you feel like you need to cry in front of other people, but don't want to cry. In this episode, Yowei talks to Heather Christle, the author of The Crying Book, to parse what’s happening in that moment, what tears are saying and how we should respond to them.      From the episode: Heather Christle is a poet and professor at Emory University. She has a new book coming out in March called In the Rhododendrums: A Memoir with Appearances by Virginia Wolf. It's available for preorder in all the usual places. You can follow Heather on Twitter and Instagram @heatherchristle.  The Thai Life insurance commerical from our crying experiment     Episode credits: Produced by Yowei Shaw and Kim Nederveen Pieterse Edited by John DeLore Mixed by Kyle Pulley     Proxy is a completely independent production. To support the show and get exclusive bonus episodes and our newsletter, consider joining our Patreon: patreon.com/proxypodcast.    Follow us on Instagram @proxypodcast and @yoweishaw.   Rate and review us on Apple Podcasts! That stuff matters apparently.

09-26
24:27

Presenting: The Art of Vulnerability and Connection with Mae Martin (from ReThinking)

Recently, Yowei noticed a pattern among new friends she's making. These friends all make her feel lighter, more playful, and listened to... and they all have a background in improv comedy.    Today, we're sharing an interview that gets inside the head of an improv comedian to see how they connect with other people.    This episode comes from ReThinking, a podcast where organizational psychologist Adam Grant has lively discussions and debates with people about new thoughts and new ways of thinking.    In the interview, Adam talks to comedian Mae Martin about the value of vulnerability in connection and life lessons from the art of improvisation.   Listen to more episodes of ReThinking, here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rethinking/id1554567118

09-20
37:28

Did we make our goal???

Finally, a campaign reveal. Did we get additional funding to hire Kim for more hours? Plus, some updates for what’s in store for Proxy.    Episode credits: Produced by Yowei Shaw and Kim Nederveen Pieterse Mixed by Kyle Pulley   Proxy is a completely independent production. To support the show and get exclusive bonus episodes and other goodies, go to patreon.com/proxypodcast.     Other ways you can support: Rate and review us on Apple Podcasts! That stuff matters apparently. Follow us on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and Twitter for updates, BTS, and shenanigans. Subscribe to the podcast on your favorite podcast platform. Sign up for our free newsletter at patreon.com/proxypodcast. Share with loved ones and spread the word! We don't have a marketing budget and rely on word of mouth.

09-05
08:06

The Mechanics and Magic of Ritual

The final installment of Yowei's quest to solve the mystery of proxy converations.    In this episode, Yowei talks to a ritual expert and tries explaining what she's learned about proxy conversations to her mom.    From the episode: Michael Norton is a behavior scientist, Harvard Business School professor, and the author of The Ritual Effect: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Ritual-Effect/Michael-Norton/9781982153021 Yowei's unhinged grieving ritual for her layoff: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHHQK9ooNqc    Episode credits: Produced by Yowei Shaw and Kim Nederveen Pieterse Mixed by Kyle Pulley   Proxy is a completely independent production. To support the show and get exclusive bonus episodes and our newsletter, go to patreon.com/proxypodcast.    Follow us on Instagram @proxypodcast and @yoweishaw   Get in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

08-21
26:01

Psychodrama: The 2nd Oldest Psychotherapy You've Never Heard Of, But Have Definitely Tried

Part 3 of Yowei's extremely meta quest to solve the mystery of proxy conversations.    In this episode, Yowei learns about psychodrama, a psychotherapy that has similarities to proxy conversations and used to be a dominant modality in the U.S. and then died. Dr. Scott Giacomucci breaks down the mechanics of proxy conversations and tries his psychodrama techniques on Yowei.    From the episode:  Dr. Scott Giacomucci is an expert in psychodrama and the director of the Phoenix Center for Experiential Trauma Therapy: www.phoenixtraumacenter.com Download Scott's textbook about psychodrama for free: www.phoenixtraumacenter.com/social-work-sociometry-psychodrama-book/ Follow Scott on YouTube: www.youtube.com/@PhoenixTraumaCenter   Episode credits: Produced by Yowei Shaw and Kim Nederveen Pieterse Mixed by Kyle Pulley   Proxy is a completely independent production. To support the show and get exclusive bonus episodes and our newsletter, go to patreon.com/proxypodcast.    Follow us on Instagram @proxypodcast and @yoweishaw   Get in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com    

08-15
41:30

Connor Ratliff's Dead Eyes

Part 2 of Yowei's quest to solve the mystery of proxy conversations. Why do they work?  How? Can Yowei figure out how to explain the show to people who don't get it?   In this episode, Yowei gets advice from actor, comedian, and proxy conversation expert Connor Ratliff.    Over 20 years ago, Tom Hanks fired Connor from a small role in the HBO mini-series Band of Brothers - apparently for having "dead eyes." But is that really what happened? Connor made a podcast to investigate, and had 30 episodes worth of proxy conversations before talking to Tom Hanks himself.    Check out Connor Ratliff's work: Dead Eyes podcast: https://headgum.com/dead-eyes Tiny Dinos podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tiny-dinos/id1742662792 The George Lucas Show: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCH1XwfxXB--rl_Nqxvun8zQ   Episode credits: Produced by Yowei Shaw and Kim Nederveen Pieterse Mixed by Kyle Pulley   Proxy is a completely independent production. To support the show and get exclusive bonus episodes and our newsletter, go to patreon.com/proxypodcast.    Follow us on Instagram @proxypodcast and @yoweishaw   Get in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

08-06
37:43

The incredible healing powers of vicarious restorative justice

Yowei has a problem. She's having trouble explaining the show to people who don't get it. She knows proxy conversations work. But why? How?   Part 1 of a 4-part quest to solve the mystery of proxy conversations. Yowei learns about a proxy conversation happening in a completely different context: restorative justice with proxy survivors and offenders.    From the episode: Alissa Ackerman is a criminal justice professor at California State University and the co-founder of Ampersands Restorative Justice: www.ampersandsrj.org Alissa Ackerman's book Healing from Sexual Violence: https://safersociety.org/bridging-divides-dr-alissa-ackerman-honored-with-the-2024-gail-burns-smith-award/   Episode credits: Produced by Yowei Shaw and Kim Nederveen Pieterse Mixed by Kyle Pulley     Proxy is a completely independent production. To support the show and get exclusive bonus episodes and our newsletter, go to patreon.com/proxypodcast.    Follow us on Instagram @proxypodcast and @yoweishaw   Get in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

07-24
01:02:35

Exploding the Myth of Meritocracy with Ofer Sharone [TEASER]

Teaser for full-length exclusive bonus episode on Patreon. An in-depth interview with UMass Amherst sociologist and professor Ofer Sharone about the stigma trap that laid off workers can fall into and how the myth of meritocracy impacts even people who don't think they believe in it. For the full bonus episode, go to patreon.com/proxypodcast.   From the episode: Ofer Sharone's book The Stigma Trap: https://global.oup.com/academic/product/the-stigma-trap-9780190239244?cc=us&lang=en&   Proxy is a completely independent production. To support the show and get exclusive bonus episodes and our newsletter, go to patreon.com/proxypodcast.    Follow us on Instagram @proxypodcast and @yoweishaw   Get in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

06-07
10:11

The Layoff Trilogy 3: HR by Proxy

With every layoff, there's the blackbox of what's really going on behind the scenes. Why did it go down the way it did? Was it really not about your performance, like they told you? How does the layoff list get made anyway?   In our inaugural proxy conversation, we connect Miles and Elliot with a proxy HR professional to answer their layoff questions.   From the episode: Gold Star: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHHQK9ooNqc Thank you to Catie Maillard for being our proxy HR professional. You can find out more about Catie's work at somehowimanagehr.com and  https://www.linkedin.com/in/catiemaillard   Episode credits: Produced by Yowei Shaw Edited by John DeLore Mixed by Kyle Pulley Research and reporting support by Kim Nederveen Pieterse   Proxy is a completely independent production. To support the show and get exclusive bonus episodes and our newsletter, go to patreon.com/proxypodcast.    Follow us on Instagram @proxypodcast and @yoweishaw   Get in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

05-23
50:52

The Layoff Trilogy 2: Danger Day

Please note: This story contains brief mention of suicidal ideation. If you or someone you know may be considering suicide, contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing 9-8-8, or the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.   Elliot and Miles loved working at the same company, until the spectre of layoffs came to haunt them.   From the episode: Ofer Sharone's book The Stigma Trap: https://global.oup.com/academic/product/the-stigma-trap-9780190239244?cc=us&lang=en&   Episode credits: Produced by Yowei Shaw Edited by John DeLore Mixed by Kyle Pulley Research and reporting support by Kim Nederveen Pieterse   Proxy is a completely independent production. To support the show and get exclusive bonus episodes and our newsletter, go to patreon.com/proxypodcast.    Follow us on Instagram @proxypodcast and @yoweishaw   Get in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com  

05-23
44:00

The Layoff Trilogy 1: Layoff Girl

When Yowei Shaw got laid off from NPR, she didn't just feel bad. She was confused by how bad she felt and how long the bad lasted. So Yowei does what she usually does in a situation like this - she reported on her feelings. Then things go left.   From the episode: Ofer Sharone's book The Stigma Trap: https://global.oup.com/academic/product/the-stigma-trap-9780190239244?cc=us&lang=en&   Episode credits: Produced by Yowei Shaw Edited by John DeLore Mixed by Kyle Pulley Research and reporting support by Kim Nederveen Pieterse   Proxy is a completely independent production. To support the show and get exclusive bonus episodes and our newsletter, go to patreon.com/proxypodcast.    Follow us on Instagram @proxypodcast and @yoweishaw   Get in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

05-22
43:41

Welcome to Proxy

Sometimes in life, you have an emotional question that no one in your life can relate to. Maybe you’re an introvert who wants to stop feeling resentful of the extroverts in your life? Maybe you’ve survived prostate cancer and have questions around sex? That’s where Proxy comes in. Host Yowei Shaw (formerly of NPR's Invisibilia) connects you for a frank conversation with experts and strangers who have shared experience. In other words, the "proxies" you need. The show launches on May 22 with a 3-part series on the emotional and mental health toll of layoffs. It's the prologue to Proxy. Episode credits: Produced by Yowei Shaw Edited by John DeLore Mixed by Kyle Pulley Research and reporting support by Kim Nederveen Pieterse   Proxy is a completely independent production. To support the show and get exclusive bonus episodes and our newsletter, go to patreon.com/proxypodcast.    Follow us on Instagram @proxypodcast and @yoweishaw.   Rate and review us on Apple Podcasts! That stuff matters apparently.

05-15
05:34

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