Psychologists Off the Clock

Anxiety often feels overwhelming, but at its core, it’s your mind and body working hard to protect you.In this episode, therapist and author of Anxiety Unpacked, Noelle McWard Aquino, unpacks the complex nature of modern anxiety, from the body’s nervous system responses to the thought patterns that fuel it.Noelle introduces her framework of three root causes: catastrophizing, control, and distorted beliefs, and explains how these show up in daily life. You’ll learn how to tell the difference between anxiety and intuition, and why getting more comfortable with uncertainty can help you build real resilience.You’ll also pick up practical tools like breathwork, reframing distorted beliefs, and focusing on your values so you can navigate anxiety with more clarity and confidence.Listen and Learn: A fresh, accessible perspective on anxiety that goes beyond diagnoses, showing how it’s a universal human experience with practical tools to help anyone navigate itWhy anxiety is not a personal failing but an understandable response to today’s constant threats, information overload, and technology-driven pressuresHow to reframe anxiety, not as a flaw to eliminate but as a signal to honor, by creating space for it, discerning facts from “what if” stories, and guiding it toward purposeful action rooted in values, capacity, and connectionThe five universal truths of anxietyHow to tell the difference between anxiety’s fear-driven, questioning voice and intuition’s calm, steady, and certain inner knowingThe three root causes of anxiety: catastrophizing, control, and distorted beliefs, and how understanding these patterns helps address anxiety at its root for lasting changeResources: Noelle’s book, Anxiety Unpacked: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781960876898 Noelle’s Website: https://noellemcwardaquino.com/ Noelle’s Psychology Today article: When Anxiety Makes Sense: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/unpacking-anxiety/202506/when-anxiety-makes-sense  Connect with Noelle on Social Media: https://www.linkedin.com/in/noelle-mcward-192473b https://www.instagram.com/noellemcwardaquino/ About Noelle McWard AquinoNoelle McWard Aquino is a Chicago-based therapist who specializes in the treatment of anxiety disorders. She is the author of Anxiety Unpacked: Discover Your Type and Recover Your Peace, a bestselling book that helps readers identify and work with the specific patterns driving their anxiety. Her work has been featured in publications including Psychology Today and Psychotherapy Networker. Noelle speaks regularly to both clinical and general audiences, training therapists in her framework for understanding anxiety and helping individuals develop more effective, compassionate responses to it.  Related Episodes:334. Our Polyvagal World with Stephen & Seth Porges313. ACT-Informed Exposure for Anxiety with Brian Pilecki and Brain Thompson250. Anxiety and Perfectionism with Clarissa Ong177. Mind-Body Practices for Stress and Ovewrhelm with Rebekkah LaDyne188. Unwinding Anxiety with Judson BrewerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why do some groups spark energy and creativity while others feel draining and tense? Taking on this topic, we sit down with Colin Fisher, the author of The Collective Edge: Unlocking the Secret Power of Groups. We dig into what really sets groups apart from one-on-one partnerships, how social norms and psychological safety shape the way groups function, and why synergy can feel so unpredictable yet incredibly powerful.Colin shares stories and research from his book, busting some common myths about group dynamics, the risks of trying to “sort” people into roles, and how relaunching a team can reset unhealthy patterns. From jazz improvisation to Nobel Prize-winning teams, this conversation is packed with insights and practical takeaways for anyone who wants to get the most out of working and living with others.Listen and Learn: What makes a group different from a one-on-one relationship, and why does that difference matter?Why relying on “sorting hat” thinking like personality tests or rigid categories can limit group success and fuel unhelpful divisionsWhy we often overlook the power of groupsCan you spot the invisible norms shaping your group before they push you toward extreme or unhealthy behaviors?How can bringing in new perspectives or encouraging psychological safety keep your group balanced and open-minded?What is psychological safety?How can groups achieve that magical sense of synergy?Creating high-performing teamsRelaunching groups to reset unhealthy patterns and improve team dynamicsResources:Colin’s Book: The Collective Edge: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593715345 Colins Website: https://colinmfisher.com/ Colin’s Substack: https://colinmfisher.substack.com/Connect with Colin on Social Media: https://www.linkedin.com/in/colinmfisher?originalSubdomain=ukhttps://www.instagram.com/trumpetfisher/ Undoing Project by Michael Lewis: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780393354775 Work, Parent, Thrive by Yael Schonbrun: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781611809657  Social Intelligence Test: https://socialintelligence.labinthewild.org/mite/About Colin FisherSince his days as a professional jazz trumpet player, Colin Fisher has been fascinated by group dynamics. As Associate Professor of Organizations and Innovation at University College London's School of Management, Colin’s research has uncovered the hidden processes of helping groups and teams in situations requiring creativity, improvisation, and complex decision-making. He has written about group dynamics for media outlets including BBC, Forbes, Harvard Business Review, NPR, and The Times. Related Episodes215. How to Change with Katy Milkman234. The Power of Us with Dominic PackerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Think about the times you’ve assumed someone’s behavior revealed exactly what they were thinking. Nicholas Epley, our guest for this episode, explains this as correspondence bias and, through his book Mindwise, teaches us about the concept of correspondence bias and explains how we often believe that a person's actions correspond directly to their mental state. You’ll hear about his research into social cognition and how it reveals that while humans are generally adept at reading others, we frequently overestimate our accuracy. The episode also covers practical experiments on how engaging with strangers can significantly boost our happiness, despite our fears and misconceptions, and the importance of curiosity in overcoming social anxieties and making positive first impressions. Listen and Learn: How our unique “sixth sense” of mind reading, our ability to understand, predict, and connect with others’ invisible thoughts, shapes human connection and survivalWhy our ability to read other people’s minds is far less accurate than we think, and what makes understanding others such a difficult challengeWhy we often overestimate how well we understand those closest to us, and how even long-term partners are not as accurate at reading each other’s thoughts and feelings as they believeWhat drives our brains to form first impressions in an instant, how overconfidence shapes the way we read others, and why moment-to-moment cues like facial expressions play a bigger role in social interactions than we often realize?How can you make a great first impression without overthinking body language or tricks, simply by staying curious and genuinely interested in the person you’re talking to?How correspondence bias makes us assume people’s actions reflect their true thoughts and feelings, why this can lead to misjudgments, and how showing confidence, curiosity, or kindness can positively influence how others respond to youCan striking up a conversation with a stranger boost happiness more than staying to yourself, even though we usually expect the interaction to go badly?Resources: Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780307743565 Nicholas’ website: https://www.nicholasepley.com/About Nicholas EpleyNicholas Epley is the John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavior Science and Director of the Center for Decision Research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. He studies social cognition—how thinking people think about other thinking people—to understand why smart people so routinely misunderstand each other. He teaches an ethics and well-being course to MBA students called Designing a Good Life. His research has been featured by the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, CNN, Wired, and National Public Radio, among many others, and has been funded by the National Science Foundation and the Templeton Foundation. He has been awarded the 2008 Theoretical Innovation Award from the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, the 2011 Distinguished Scientific Award for Early Career Contribution to Psychology from the American Psychological Association, the 2015 Book Prize for the Promotion of Social and Personality Science, and the 2018 Career Trajectory Award from the Society for Experimental Social Psychology. Epley was named a "professor to watch" by the Financial Times, one of the "World's Best 40 under 40 Business School Professors" by Poets and Quants, and one of the 100 Most Influential in Business Ethics by Ethisphere. He is the author of Mindwise: How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want, and of a forthcoming book to be published in the fall of 2026 tentatively titled, Dare to connectRelated Episodes413. Validate with Caroline Fleck393. Supercommunicators with Charles Duhigg374. Developing and Deepening Connections with Adam Dorsay360. The Laws of Connection with David Robson329. The Power of Curiosity with Scott ShigeokaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sometimes saying “yes” too much can really take a toll on you. In this episode, Jill chats with Dr. Sunita Sah, a bestselling author and Cornell professor, about her book Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes. They break down how constant compliance can affect your emotions, mind, and body, and share strategies for recognizing when it’s time to push back. Sunita introduces the concept of a ‘Defiance Compass’ to help guide people in acting according to their values. You’ll also learn about the difference between going along with something and truly giving consent, how anxiety can arise in difficult situations, and why practicing small acts of defiance can prepare you for bigger, high-stakes moments. Listen and Learn: How can redefining "defiance" from a negative act of resistance to an alignment with true values help us better understand the balance between compliance, consent, and social pressure?Why is defiance better understood as a staged process on a continuum rather than a simple yes/no choice, and how does recognizing tension help us navigate compliance?Distinguishing between true expert intuition and bias-driven gut feelings when making decisions in uncertain situationsWhy is it so difficult for people to resist compliance and obedience in high-pressure situations, and how can practicing defiance help us prepare to say no and prevent harm?How can we recognize the difference between true consent and mere compliance, and what essential elements are needed to ensure a genuine "yes"?Navigating situations where we technically have the freedom to say no, but psychological pressures like insinuation anxiety or fear of consequences make it difficult to speak upHow do insinuation anxiety and the sales pitch effect interact to increase pressure to comply, even when consent is technically present?Overcoming the tension and fear of non-compliance to act in alignment with our values using tools like the Defiance CompassHow you can practice defiance as a skillResources:Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593445778Sunita’s Website: https://www.sunitasah.com/Connect with Sunita on Social Media:https://www.instagram.com/drsunitasahhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/drsunitasah/https://www.tiktok.com/@drsunitasah About Sunita SahDr. Sunita Sah is a national bestselling author, an award-winning professor at Cornell University, and an expert in organizational psychology. She leads groundbreaking research on influence, authority, compliance, and defiance. A trained physician, Dr. Sah practiced medicine in the United Kingdom and worked as a management consultant for the pharmaceutical industry. She currently teaches executives, leaders, and students in healthcare and business.Dr. Sah is also a sought-after international speaker and consultant, an advisor to government agencies, and a former Commissioner of the National Commission on Forensic Science. Her multidisciplinary research and analyses have been widely published in leading academic journals and media outlets, including The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Harvard Business Review, and Scientific American. She lives with her husband and son in New York.Related Episodes:211. Subtract with Leidy Klotz276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson305. The Power of Saying No with Vanessa Patrick311. Nobody’s Fool with Daniel Simons and Christopher Chabris394. Sunlight is the Best Disinfectant with Andrea Dunlop and Mike Weber399. Likable Badass with Alison FragaleSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Parenting often means walking a fine line between setting boundaries and showing warmth, all while managing your own feelings in the process. In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Emily chats with Dr. Alissa Jerud about her book Emotion-Savvy Parenting and how recognizing and working with both your emotions and your child’s can build stronger connections and a calmer home life.Dr. Jerud shares her approach, Emotion Savvy Parenting, which draws from evidence-based methods such as exposure-based treatments and dialectical behavior therapy skills. She breaks down what makes up our emotional experiences, offers tools like the CARE skills for navigating intense situations, and explores topics such as the limits of gentle parenting, why mid-meltdown logic usually falls flat, and how differing parenting styles between caregivers can create challenges.Listen and Learn: How can parents respond skillfully and effectively to their children while managing their own strong and uncomfortable emotions?Combining respectful parenting and evidence-based therapies to help parents manage their own emotions, maintain firm limits, and model emotional regulation for their childrenThe ways parents navigate the gray areas and overlaps between gentle parenting and autonomy-supportive parenting while avoiding the black-and-white thinking often seen on social mediaParents often step in to fix their child’s struggles, but noticing and accepting their emotions and behaviors as they are can help children build resilience and support more effective parentingThe primary and secondary ingredients of emotions, their triggers, how thoughts shape them, and how they show up physically and behaviorally, help parents regulate their own emotions by targeting these different aspects of feelingsQuick, practical ways to manage intense emotions by regulating the body’s physiological responseWhy rigid beliefs that children must always obey can create frustration and disconnect, while accepting their emotions and allowing authentic expression supports both kids’ and parents’ emotional well-beingThe importance of accepting and validating a child’s emotions during emotional storms rather than trying to immediately fix or suppress themRecognizing that each child’s emotional needs are unique, and effective parenting often means staying present and supportive without trying to immediately fix or validate the emotionResources: Alissa’s Website: https://www.alissajerud.com/ Emotion-Savvy Parenting: A Shame-Free Guide to Navigating Emotional Storms and Deepening Connection: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781032544946 Connect with Alissa on Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/emotionsavvydoc/?hl=enhttps://www.facebook.com/emotionsavvydoc/https://www.linkedin.com/in/alissa-jerud-210764174 Emily’s Articles:What’s Wrong with Gentle Parenting? Psychology TodayThe Truth About Parents Who Yell at Their Kids, Psychology TodayAbout Alissa JerudAlissa Jerud, Ph.D. is a mom of two kids, a licensed clinical psychologist, a Clinical Assistant Professor at the University of Pennsylvania, and author of Emotion-Savvy Parenting: A Shame-Free Guide to Navigating Emotional Storms and Deepening Connection. She has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Washington and completed her postdoctoral fellowship at the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for the Treatment and Study of Anxiety. In her private practice, Dr. Jerud specializes in exposure-based treatments for anxiety-related disorders, including obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social anxiety disorder, panic disorder, specific phobias, and generalized anxiety disorder. Additionally, she specializes in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills training and particularly enjoys helping other parents learn research-backed strategies for accepting, regulating, and tolerating their emotions, as well as their children's. Dr. Jerud also trains other clinicians in exposure-based treatments and frequently gives workshops on anxiety, stress, mental health, parenting, and social support to companies large and small.Related Episodes386. Parents Are Stressed: What Do We Do About It? 373. How to Stop Freaking Out with Carla Naumburg344. Differently Wired Kids with Deborah Reber241. Emotion Coaching Skills for Families with Mindy Solomon240. Talking to Kids and Teens About Big Feelings with Adele LaFrance149. How to Not Lose It with Your Kids with Carla Naumburg14. Mindful Parenting9. Children’s Emotions: Understanding and Responding to Your Child’s EmotionsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you’re stuck in an unhealthy relationship and wondering whether it’s right for you or you’re recently facing the pain and confusion of a breakup, we invite you to tune into this episode with John Kim, also known as the Angry Therapist, to explore his viewpoint on relationship endings. John lays out how breakups or ‘relationship expirations’ as he coins them, can serve as powerful catalysts to kickstart your own personal growth, and highlights the importance of self-reflection, healthy boundaries, and meaningful connection with yourself and others. Speaking from his own experiences, as well as insights and stories from his latest book, Breakup on Purpose, you’ll hear why John sees breakups as not just painful endings but meaningful rites of passage that can offer space to learn and evolve. Listen and Learn:Breakups, while painful, can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth when approached with reflection and ownershipShifting how we view breakups from failures to “expired relationships” helps us embrace healing and rewrite the narrative around endingsHow to balance knowing when to work through relationship challenges versus when it’s healthy to walk awayWhy breakups are a natural rite of passage and essential for personal growthWhy humility and self-reflection are essential but often difficult steps toward personal growthHealing from a breakup involves embracing the pain with compassion, finding purpose beyond the relationship, and transforming personal loss into growth and a greater meaningful journeyHow society places too much importance on romantic love as the sole source of meaning and fulfillment and elying on one romantic partner to fulfill all needs is unrealistic and sets people up for disappointmentBreakups have distinctive types that require different responses and healing strategiesHow to balance self-comfort with avoiding behaviors that hinder healing after a breakup by setting personal limits and gradually re-engaging with lifeThe importance of meaningful connection, whether through community, close relationships, or personal passions, as a vital part of recovery, especially for introvertsThe cycle of rupture and repair in relationships is essential, teaching us how to build deeper connection, resilience, and emotional safetyResources:John’s Website: https://www.theangrytherapist.com/John’s Books: Break Up On Purpose: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780063275331 Single On Purpose: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780062980731 Connect with John on Socials: https://www.facebook.com/john.kim.1650/https://www.linkedin.com/in/theangrytherapisthttps://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/Power of Discord by Ed Tronick and Claudia Gold: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780316488877 Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780807060100 About John KimJohn Kim, widely known as 'The Angry Therapist.' John is a licensed therapist, engaging speaker, fellow podcaster, and best-selling author whose works include 'It's Not Me, It's You,' 'Single. On Purpose,' and 'I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck.' What makes John's approach unique is how he shares therapeutic wisdom through his blog and Instagram, using authenticity and transparency to connect with and support people on their personal journeys.Related Episodes:117. Bearing Unbearable Loss: A Conversation about Grief with Joanne Cacciatore126. Surviving Break-Ups and Divorce: How to Mend a Broken Heart, with Debbie and Yael186. Set Boundaries Find Peace with Nedra Tawwab249. How to be Single and Happy with Jenny Taitz343. Heartbreak with Florence WilliamsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Could the stories you tell yourself be shaping how you see yourself? Sometimes those stories build us up, but other times, they are just quietly tearing us down. In this episode, Michael talks with Dr. Phil Lane, a licensed clinical social worker and the author of The Narrative Therapy Workbook for Self-Esteem, about how we can start to shift those inner stories in a healthier direction.Phil shares what led him to narrative therapy and why storytelling can be an incredibly powerful tool for healing. He talks about how many of us carry around dominant narratives, which are beliefs about ourselves that sometimes we may not even realize we’ve absorbed. And explains how you can learn to question and rewrite those beliefs, helping us reconnect with who we really are.You'll also benefit from the core techniques behind narrative therapy, like scaffolding and deconstruction, and explore what it’s like to share your personal story in different settings.Listen and Learn: How the power of storytelling in a safe space can transform self-perception and healingChanging the story you've been telling yourself and beginning to see who you truly are, more fully and clearlyUncovering hidden parts of your life story beyond the dominant narrative you've acceptedHow inherited beliefs shape your story and how to consciously rewrite it for yourselfIdentifying faulty beliefs and clarifying your values helps rewrite your personal story for self-acceptanceUnderstanding your past to shape your present story empowers your daily life choicesHow to rebuild your personal story by carefully scaffolding and deconstructing it for true self-accuracyEmbracing curiosity to uncover and challenge the beliefs you’ve always seen as trueHow acceptance and reframing your story can empower you to embrace life's challenges and thriveViewing your life story as multi-genre can bring richer healing and balanceHow narrative therapy reveals deeper meaning beyond surface explanationsWhen and how to share your sacred story meaningfully beyond small talk and surface talkResources: The Narrative Therapy Workbook for Self-Esteem: Rewrite Your Story, Overcome Imposter Syndrome and Feelings of Inadequacy, and Build Lasting Confidence: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781648485312Phil’s Website: https://www.phil-lane.com/You 2.0: Change Your Story, Change Your Life: https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/healing-2-0-change-your-story-change-your-life/Connect with Phil on Social Media:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100087891174326https://instagram.com/therapist_phil About Phil LanePhil Lane is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, psychotherapist in private practice and author of the books Understanding and Coping with Illness Anxiety, The Narrative Therapy Workbook for Self-Esteem and Overcoming Panic and Panic Attacks. Phil practices and writes from a humanistic point of view with a goal of normalizing and de-stigmatizing commonly experienced problems and challenges. Phil and his family live in the central part of New Jersey where he enjoys gardening, reading, writing, watching baseball, and model railroading. Phil can be found on Instagram at @therapist_phil and online at phil-lane.com. You can also find his author pages on Amazon and Goodreads. Related Episodes239. Edit Your Story, Change Your Life with Lori GottliebSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk has become a go-to book for understanding trauma, but not everyone agrees with its approach. In this episode, journalist and author of Acceptance: A Memoir, Emi Nietfeld joins us to talk about The Body Keeps the Score and how it influenced the world of trauma therapy. Bringing both her personal experience and sharp insight to the table, she enlightens us on trauma treatment and why popular narratives around resilience and recovery often miss the mark, especially when they lean more on storytelling than science.We get into where the book falls short, especially around science and why proven methods like CBT and prolonged exposure therapy deserve more attention. Emi also opens up about how those treatments personally changed her life.It’s an honest look at trauma, what really works, and how we can do better, both personally and as a society.Listen and Learn:Why true resilience isn't about toughness alone but about community, care, and real support systemsHow the mental health system often fails kids by ignoring family dysfunction and why real change starts with seeing the full context, not just labeling the childWhy positive thinking isn't enough for trauma recovery and how validating, supportive therapy makes all the difference when you're ready to speak your truthAvoiding trauma memories in therapy can cause more harm and what effective healing requiresHow popular trauma books like “The Body Keeps the Score” can fuel shameChallenging the "addicted to trauma" label and how oversimplified narratives can stigmatize survivors and ignore systemic causes of violenceHow trauma research can be misrepresented, especially about cognitive behavioral therapy’s real effectivenessUsing structured prolonged exposure therapy to help you safely face trauma and build resilienceWriting a memoir can unearth painful truths, but honest storytelling sparks real healing and self-acceptanceWhy popular trauma books feel like belief systems—and why we need solutions beyond therapyResources: Emi’s Book Acceptance: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593489499 Emi’s website https://www.eminietfeld.com/ and her Substack https://eminietfeld.substack.com/ Connect with Emi on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/emi-nietfeld/ and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/eminietfeld/ Mother Jones article: https://www.motherjones.com/media/2024/12/trauma-body-keeps-the-score-van-der-kolk-psychology-therapy-ptsd/ Slate article: https://slate.com/technology/2024/08/sexual-assault-treatment-talk-therapy-prolonged-exposure-recovery.htmlArticle mentioned on trauma theory as a belief system: https://beiner.substack.com/p/the-truth-about-trauma-bessel-vanAbout Emi NietfieldEmi Nietfeld is an author, journalist, and speaker. She is the author of Acceptance (Penguin Press ‘22), a memoir of her journey through foster care and homelessness, interrogating the true meanings of resilience, ambition, and success. After graduating from Harvard in 2015, she worked as a software engineer, an experience she wrote about in her viral New York Times essay, “After Working At Google, I’ll Never Let Myself Love a Job Again.”She’s passionate about mental health, helping young people navigate their careers, and the connection between engineering and creativity. A dynamic, sought-after speaker, she can be found on podcasts, leading conference keynotes, and speaking at universities and companies alike.Her essays have appeared in The New York Times, New York Magazine, The Atlantic,  and other publications, been nominated for the Pushcart Prize, noted in The Best American Essays, and taught in classrooms from high schools to MFA programs.Related Episodes: 416. Trauma and PTSD Treatment with Robyn Walser383. What My Bones Know: C-PTSD with Stephanie Foo279. ACT for Healing Black Racial Trauma with Jennifer Shepard Payne 313. ACT-Informed Exposure for Anxiety with Brian Pilecki and Brian Thompson355. What is EMDR with Jamie Marich 77. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with Jill Stoddard    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Trauma and PTSD leave a lasting imprint on how we see ourselves and navigate the world, which is why Debbie sits down with returning guest Dr. Robyn Walser for this episode, a clinical psychologist and expert in evidence-based treatment for PTSD, to explore the path to trauma recovery. Robyn unpacks the principles of exposure therapy, the importance of processing traumatic experiences, and insights from her new book, which she co-authored with Darrah Westrup, You Are Not Your Trauma. This conversation offers a deep understanding of PTSD, the wide-ranging effects of trauma, and how healing involves redefining one’s relationship to past events rather than being retraumatized by them. Listen and Learn:Breaking free from trauma’s grip and reconnecting with the deeper, fuller self beyond itWhy understanding the true meaning of trauma matters and how misusing the word can impact healingUnderstanding how trauma, whether single events or complex, can cause avoidance, disrupt life, and impact relationshipsHow trauma’s fear cycle traps you and how changing your relationship to thoughts frees you to live againReclaiming your life by embracing fear and living your values fully through trauma recovery in ACTEmbracing the natural flow of trauma memories helps you process and regain freedomUsing written exposure therapy helps you safely process trauma by revisiting and writing about itHow structured, flexible exposure therapy in Robyn and Darrah’s new book, You Are Not Your Trauma, helps you process trauma and build lasting resilienceResources: Coming Soon—You Are Not Your Trauma: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Guide for Healing from Within by Robyn Walser and Darrah Westrup: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781462557899Robyn’s Website: https://robynwalser.com/Connect with Robyn on Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/walser.robyn/https://www.facebook.com/theheartofacthttps://www.linkedin.com/in/robynwalser About Robyn D. WalserRobyn D. Walser, Ph.D., is an internationally recognized clinical psychologist, educator, and author. She is the Director of Trauma and Life Consultation and Psychology Services, Assistant Professor at the University of California, Berkeley, and Director of Research at Bay Area Trauma Recovery Clinical Services. Dr. Walser has contributed significantly to the dissemination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and holds a pivotal role in implementing ACT in one of the US's largest national healthcare systems. She also works at the National Center for PTSD, where her work focus is on trauma recovery, depression, and moral injury. A writer and scholar, Dr. Walser has co-authored nine influential books on ACT, including the widely respected The Heart of ACT: Developing a Flexible, Process-Based, and Client-Centered Practice Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Her research and clinical expertise have made her a sought-after voice in advancing the application of ACT to address a variety of complex psychological challenges. Since 1997, Dr. Walser has led ACT workshops worldwide, bringing her passion for process-based, experiential learning to therapists and clinicians. Known for her compassionate and client-centered approach, Dr. Walser’s teaching emphasizes the integration of evidence-based practices with human connection and flexibility. Whether through her books, articles, or live training, Dr. Walser continues to influence the evolution of ACT and inspire professionals in their pursuit of effective, transformative therapy. To learn more about her work, visit robynwalser.com.Book: You Are Not Your Trauma: An ACT Guide for Healing from Within by Robyn D. Walser and Darrah WestrupRelated Episodes: 383. What My Bones Know: C-PTSD with Stephanie Foo279. ACT for Healing Black Racial Trauma with Jennifer Shepard Payne 313. ACT-Informed Exposure for Anxiety with Brian Pilecki and Brian Thompson355. What is EMDR with Jamie Marich 77. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with Jill Stoddard   320. Anger and Forgiveness with Robyn Walser 106. Therapy from “The Heart of ACT” with Robyn Walser98. Narcissism with Avigail Lev and Robyn Walser  49. Empowering Women with Robyn Walser345. Writing for Personal Growth with Maureen Murdock See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you've been feeling like alcohol just doesn’t fit your life anymore, this conversation with Casey Davidson, a Life and Sobriety Coach, might really speak to you.  Casey opens up about her personal journey of becoming alcohol-free, talks you through the benefits and challenges of sobriety, and clears up some common myths along the way.You’ll come away with takeaways about the impact alcohol can have on your mental and physical health, how social norms and marketing can negatively influence drinking habits, and why approaching sobriety with curiosity and self-compassion can make all the difference in your journey. We hope the personal stories combined with practical insights in this episode will be an inspiring and relatable resource for anyone exploring a more mindful relationship with alcohol.Listen and Learn: How Casey broke free from nightly wine, ditched mommy wine culture, and found freedomHow high-functioning people can unknowingly rely on alcohol, and what waking up at 3 AM really meansAlcohol disrupts joy, sleep, and mood. See what changes when you give it up for just 30 daysNavigating sobriety without hitting rock bottom, plus mindset shifts, social fears, and partner dynamicsWhy the term "alcoholic" can be misleading, and how redefining sobriety empowers choiceHow non-alcoholic drinks can fit joyful routines without the triggersThe lasting benefits of 30, 60, and 100 days sober, like better sleep, mood, and self-careWhy trying to moderate drinking often traps you in a craving cycle, and quitting frees your mind and sparks new creativityResources: Casey’s website: Hello Someday Coaching - https://hellosomedaycoaching.com/The Hello Someday Podcast For Sober Curious Women - https://hellosomedaycoaching.com/podcast/ Good Morning America asked Casey how I saved $48,000 by not drinking alcohol!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyrfQMv5waU&authuser=0Connect with Casey on Social Media:https://www.linkedin.com/in/caseydavidson/https://www.instagram.com/caseymdavidson/https://facebook.com/hellosomedayAbout Casey McGuire Davidson: Casey McGuire Davidson is a Life & Sobriety Coach and the host of the Top 100 Mental Health Podcast, The Hello Someday Podcast for Sober Curious Women. As an ex-red wine girl who spent 20 years climbing the corporate ladder while holding on tightly to her love of wine, Casey’s passionate about helping busy women stop drinking and create lives they love without alcohol. Her work has been featured on Good Morning America, NPR, HuffPost, The New York Times and NBC News.Related Episodes176. Fair Play with Eve Rodsky202. The Addiction Inoculation with Jess Lahey206. Fair Play Part 2 with Eve Rodsky233. Dopamine Nation with Anna Lembke247. Find Your Unicorn Space with Eve Rodsky286. Not Drinking Tonight with Amanda White316. Understanding Addiction with Judith Grisel402. Harm Reduction for Addiction with Kristin DempseySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why do so many kids seem unmotivated at school, and what can we do about it? In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, we’re taking a look at what’s really going on with student engagement, especially during those tricky adolescent years. Our guests, Rebecca Winthrop and Jenny Anderson, co-authors of The Disengaged Teen, join Emily to break it all down. From the four types of learners—the Passenger, Achiever, Resistor, and Explorer—to how we can help kids tap into curiosity and motivation, this conversation is full of eye-opening insights for both parents and educators. They also unpack the pressures of today’s achievement culture, the influence of tech and AI, and most importantly, how parents and teachers can support teens in becoming more confident, engaged learners.Listen and Learn: Why Rebecca Winthrop and Jenny Anderson wrote a game-changing book to fix the student disengagement crisisWhy only 4% of teens feel truly engaged in school, and what you can do to change thatWhat true engagement looks like in your teen How boosting your child’s engagement in learning can improve grades, motivation, and mental healthWhy the “age of achievement” hoop-jumping is harming your child and how to shift toward true agencyHow your child can shift between four learning modes and how you can help them thriveSpotting if your child’s stuck in “passenger mode” and igniting their true learning sparkHow your neurodivergent or struggling child can unlock support and build resilienceHow your well-meaning expectations might be fueling your child’s harmful perfectionismTurning your child’s “resistor mode” into growth by truly understanding and supporting themWhy your child’s curiosity and choices spark real learning skills that grades and rules can’t teachHow your curiosity and relationship with your child can transform their learning mindsetResources: The Disengaged Teen: Helping Kids Learn Better, Feel Better, and Live Better:https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593727072Jenny’s website: https://www.jennywestanderson.org/ Rebecca’s website: https://www.rebeccawinthrop.com/Connect with Rebecca on social media: https://www.instagram.com/drrebeccawinthrop/?hl=enhttps://x.com/rebeccawinthrop?lang=enhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/rebecca-winthrop-b36b0617Connect with Jenny on social media: https://uk.linkedin.com/in/jennyandersonnythttps://x.com/jwestanderson?lang=enhttps://www.instagram.com/jennyandersonwrites/?hl=en About Rebecca Winthrop and Jenny AndersonRebecca Winthrop is a leading global authority on education, the director of the Center for Universal Education at Brookings and an adjunct professor at Georgetown University. She is dedicated to ensuring that every child has the opportunity to thrive in life, work, and as an engaged citizen. She leads cutting-edge research and initiatives aimed at transforming education systems around the world to better support children's learning and development. Rebecca is a trusted advisor to both school communities and national and international organizations. Her expertise is sought by many including parent networks, schools, district education leaders, the White House, the United Nations, and Fortune 500 companies. Rebecca's work is centered on developing and advocating for evidence-based strategies that bring people together—families, educators, policymakers, and companies—to help children maximize their potential. She holds a PhD from Columbia University’s Teachers College, an MA from its School of International and Public Affairs, and a BA from Swarthmore College.Jenny Anderson is an award-winning journalist, author, and speaker with more than 25 years of experience. Her work has appeared in some of the world’s leading publications, including The New York Times, where she was on staff for 10 years, TIME, The Atlantic, the Wall Street Journal and Quartz.Related Episodes:369. Good News About Adolescence with Ellen Galinsky344. Differently Wired Kids with Deborah Reber332. Middle School Superpowers with Phyllis Fagell324. Toxic Achievement Culture with Jennifer Wallace319. Autonomy-Supportive Parenting with Emily Edlynn272. Middle School Matters with Phyllis FagellSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What’s a skill that can instantly improve your relationships, communication, and even your influence? In this episode, Yael talks with Caroline Fleck, a licensed psychologist and author of Validation, to unpack exactly that. Caroline explains what validation really is, how it’s different from empathy or sympathy, and why it can be so powerful in both personal and professional relationships.  They walk you through how validation first gained traction in therapy, especially in dialectical behavior therapy, and Caroline shares simple techniques like attending, copying, and proposing that anyone can use. You’ll get Caroline’s take on the challenge of validating someone when you strongly disagree, the role of self-disclosure in connection, and how our understanding of emotions has shifted from classic microexpressions to a more nuanced view of emotional experience. If you’re looking for practical ways to build better relationships and truly connect, this episode is full of insight. Listen and Learn:  What is validation? Why feeling truly seen and accepted is the key to deeper trust, love, and real connection in your life How invalidation can be toxic to your relationships and how empathy and validation actually heal them Can validation help you connect with someone even if you don’t agree or relate to their situation? How accepting someone else's view first can actually boost your influence and get you heard more often The simple act of repeating exact words in conflict helps fights cool down and allows real conversations to happen Why messing up shows you’re trying to truly understand, and how that keeps the connection real Why you don’t have to agree with someone’s whole view to validate it; just find the part that makes sense How to be open, but balanced, to create space for real connection and trust to grow Resources:  Validation: How the Skill Set That Revolutionized Psychology Will Transform Your Relationships, Increase Your Influence, and Change Your Life https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593541210 Visit Caroline’s website: https://drcarolinefleck.com/ Connect with Caroline on social media:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolinefleck/ https://www.instagram.com/carolinefleckphd/ https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.CarolineFleck https://www.tiktok.com/@drcarolinefleck  Boogie Board Tablet on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/B551B3AA-1FD5-4BBA-AB25-58D0F67052FE?ingress=0&visitId=8be7808f-e257-437b-b72f-b8e79fd8fca9  Study on empathic effort versus accuracy How Emotions Are Made by Lisa Feldman Barrett The Autistic Brain by Temple Grandin About Caroline Fleck:  Dr. Caroline Fleck is a licensed psychologist, writer, and corporate consultant who has served as a supervisor and consultant for some of the most rigorous training programs in the country, including Dr. Marsha Linehan’s program at the University of Washington, the Department of Psychiatry at Stanford Medical Center, and the VA Palo Alto. She is a respected voice in psychology and has been featured in national media outlets, including The New York Times, Good Morning America, and The Huffington Post. Her new book, which we’re here to discuss, is the first of its kind to make the specialized validation skills therapists master to get through to anyone available to everyone. Related Episodes: Episode 120: Use DBT Skills to Regulate Emotions and Be More Effective in Relationships with Matthew McKay Episode 241. Emotion Coaching Skills for Families with Mindy Solomon Episode 282. Toxic Positivity with Whitney Goodman Episode 397. The Mindful Path to Intimacy with James Cordova Episode 408. Connecting like a Hostage Negotiator with Gary Noesner Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In a world constantly demanding our attention and energy, have you ever felt trapped between the crucial need to care for yourself and the undeniable urge to care for those around you?  Well, for this conversation, Debbie gets into that very dilemma with Dr. Jordan Quaglia, as he challenges us to move beyond the 'either/or' of self-care and explore his revolutionary 'We Care' approach.  Jordan, who is the author of Self-Care to We Care: The New Science of Mindful Boundaries and Caring From an Undivided Heart, gives his take on the research on balancing self-care with caring for others and emphasizes the importance of holding both self-care and compassion for others simultaneously and offers practical strategies for setting healthy boundaries and integrating self-care into daily life. Come join Debbie and Jordan to redefine what it means to care! Listen and Learn:  Why balancing care for others and self-care isn’t an either-or and the hidden choices in between When self-care crosses into avoidance or indulgence, it may signal disconnection rather than renewal Finding balance when caring for others overrides your own needs In moments of tragedy, do you become the superhero or collapse from the hurt? The We Care framework to transform self-care and caring for others into one balanced practice in everyday life Transform overwhelming empathy into sustainable compassion that fuels your action and protects your well-being How care-based boundaries protect your energy while deepening connection, not guilt Balancing self-care and caring for the world work together to fuel your resilience and action Resources:  From Self-Care to We-Care: The New Science of Mindful Boundaries and Caring from an Undivided Heart: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781645473473 Jordan’s website: https://www.jordanquaglia.com/ Connect with Jordan on LinkedIn and Instagram:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jordanquaglia  https://www.instagram.com/mindfulboundaries/?hl=en About Jordan Quaglia Jordan Quaglia, PhD, has spent over a decade researching and teaching on topics such as mindfulness, compassion, and boundaries. He is an associate professor of psychology at Naropa University, where he directs the Cognitive and Affective Science Laboratory and is research director for its Center for the Advancement of Contemplative Education. A recognized expert in the science of compassion, he has been designated as a research fellow by the Mind & Life Institute, a Contemplative Social Justice Scholar for Contemplative Mind in Society, and a panelist for multiple United Nations Day of Vesak conferences. In addition to his research, Jordan co-developed and regularly teaches an eight-week compassion training curriculum for hundreds of individuals. He lives with his wife in Boulder, Colorado. Book: From Self-Care to We-Care: The New Science of Mindful Boundaries and Caring from an Undivided Heart Related episodes:  374. Developing and Deepening Connections with Adam Dorsay  360. The Laws of Connection with David Robson  262. Hope and Values in Dark Times 254. Cultivating Compassion for a Lasting Connection with Michaela Thomas 234. The Power of Us with Dominic Packer  201. Fierce Compassion with Kristin Nef 105. The Self-Care Prescription with Robyn Gobin 75. Mindful Self-Compassion with Christopher Germer 65. Self-care, Kindness, and Living Well with Kelly Wilson  46. Altruism and the Flow of Compassion with Yotam Heineberg 32. Social Connection: Exploring Loneliness and Building Intimacy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

True strength and success lie in how well we can come together and support one another and how well we can stand side by side to move forward as a collective.  That powerful message comes straight from our guest, Dr. Lakeysha Hallmon, who is the author of No One Is Self-Made: Build Your Village to Flourish in Business and Life, and it perfectly sets the tone for this deeply honest and inspiring conversation with Jill. They talk about why we’re not meant to do life or business solo, the power of building your “village,” and how real success comes from community, not isolation. If you’ve ever wondered who you need in your corner, how to find your purpose, or how to stop carrying the weight alone, this one’s for you. Hit play on this conversation to find out what being “village made” really means and why it just might change the way you show up in the world. Listen and Learn:  Why the "self-made" myth is harmful and how being "village-made" redefines success How neuroscience proves we're wired for community and why it's vital for well-being Why being communal is especially critical for marginalized communities to overcome systemic barriers Are purpose and alignment the driving forces behind building a thriving community? "Life assignments" you can put into practice reveal your true purpose The six essential roles needed to build your "village" and how they contribute to collective success How to attract your "village" by showing up authentically and setting intentions in new spaces The crucial difference between individual and "village-made" values, and how they shape community Key "village-made" values like sharing space with those who shine and radical inclusivity When to keep grinding and when surrendering opens doors you never expected Channelling your anger into action and the "village verbs" that empower community building Resources:  Find Lakeysha and buy her book, No One is Self-Made, at https://drkeyhallmon.com/noism/ or get it at our POTC bookshop: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780063315891  Connect with Lakeysha on social media: http://www.linkedin.com/in/lakeysha-hallmon-ed-d-52680215a https://www.instagram.com/drkeyhallmon   Debbie’s article on asking for help: https://psyche.co/guides/how-to-ask-for-help-without-discomfort-or-apology About Lakeysha Hallmon Dr. Lakeysha Hallmon has transformed the lives of thousands of Black entrepreneurs across the world through her flagship brand The Village Market, and sister organizations The Village Retail, a storefront featuring premier Black-owned brands and nonprofit Our Village United, which revitalizes small businesses by providing funding and technical services. Her love of community, paired with her mantra, Support Is a Verb, inspires Black entrepreneurs everywhere and the communities who support them with intention. As an award-winning expert in education and business development, Hallmon’s innovative village model has become highly sought-after and has facilitated 8.3 million dollars in sales to Black businesses. Related Episodes 116. Building a Meaningful, Values-based Life with Jenna LeJeune 138. Exploring Existence and Purpose: Existentialism with Robyn Walser 234. The Power of Us with Dominic Packer 273. A More Just Future with Dolly Chugh 285. What Do You Want Out of Life? Values Fulfillment Theory with Valerie Tiberius 329. The Power of Curiosity with Scott Shigeoka 370. Freedom, Energy, and Power with Emma Seppälä 371. Uniting Toward a Better Future with Diana McLain Smith Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It’s easy to forget how much doing something creative can lift your mood. Whether you're painting, building something, or just doodling for fun, creating is good for your brain and your mental health!  In this conversation, Debbie interviews bestselling author Kelly Corrigan, along with her daughter and coauthor, Claire Corrigan Lichty. They talk about their new children’s book, Marianne the Maker, which highlights how creativity and hands-on making can support well-being for kids and adults alike. Listen in to hear about Kelly and Claire's experience working together as a mother-and-daughter duo, and learn how to incorporate everyday creativity to lift spirits, spark connection, and bond families! Listen and Learn: How can engaging in small creative acts help restore mental clarity and emotional balance during times of stress or uncertainty? Why is creativity not just a luxury but a scientifically backed, essential part of human well-being that can help both children and adults access better mental health? Actively supporting children's creativity by observing their interests and making space at home that reflects and encourages those passions Why is it valuable for families to create a home environment that normalizes creativity and engaged leisure, and how does this foster long-term cognitive and emotional development in kids? The benefits of creative hobbies as a form of active rest highlight their role in reducing mental fatigue, enhancing focus, and providing a healthy escape from cognitive overload How writing, even in imperfect or irregular ways, can serve as a powerful tool for mental clarity and emotional release during stressful times The importance of unstructured time and creative making in fostering self-entertainment, well-being, and resisting cultural pressures to constantly be productive The importance of sharing creative work for values-driven reasons rather than external validation Resources: Kelly’s website: https://www.kellycorrigan.com/  Podcast: Kelly Corrigan Wonders: https://www.kellycorrigan.com/podcast Book: https://www.mariannethemaker.com/ https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593206096  Social Media:  Kelly on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kellycorrigan/  Kelly on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kellycorrigan/  Claire on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/claire.lichty/ Kelly’s TED Talk, To Love Is to Be Brave: https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_corrigan_to_love_is_to_be_brave  Kelly’s New York Times Op Eds:  https://www.nytimes.com/2021/09/05/opinion/parenting-college-empty-nest-pandemic.html https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/13/well/family/advice-to-my-college-freshman.html https://www.nytimes.com/2021/11/24/opinion/thanksgiving-family-forgiveness.html https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/22/well/family/college-applications-parents-children-advice.html Your Brain on Art (book mentioned in this interview):  https://bookshop.org/p/books/your-brain-on-art-how-the-arts-transform-us-susan-magsamen/18580097  If you want to write and could use some writing prompts and guided writing exercises, check out Debbie’s Guided Journaling Substack here: https://guidedjournaling.substack.com/  Debbie’s article on letting kids be bored: https://www.drdebbiesorensen.com/blogposts/2020/5/15/parents-get-ready-for-the-summer-of-boredom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Raising grounded, thoughtful kids in today’s chaotic world is no small task. In this episode, Emily talks with award-winning journalist and author Melinda Wenner Moyer about her new book, Hello, Cruel World: Science-Based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times. Melinda shares practical, research-based tools to help parents guide their children through media influence, bias, and the challenges of social media and technology. It’s a powerful conversation filled with real-world strategies for raising compassionate, critical-thinking kids who can thrive, even when the world feels upside down. Listen and Learn: How can parents raise compassionate, resilient kids when the world feels increasingly chaotic and uncertain? Understanding how bias and polarization form in kids is key to raising thoughtful, inclusive humans Why kids develop biased thinking and how family conversations can counter social media's influence How listening to your kids can reduce extremism, build empathy, and shape a better future Ways to talk with your kid about bias and hate language, even if they don't open up easily The importance of getting your kids to team up with diverse friends on projects to help them see past biases Teaching kids media literacy helps them think critically Research often misrepresents social media harm, but parent-child bonds shape kids’ real tech experience Managing kids’ tech means by balancing connection, autonomy, and open talks, not just strict rules Melinda’s hope for parents embracing open talks and respect, shaping a stronger, kinder generation Resources: Hello Cruel World!: Science-Based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593719367 Melinda’s website: https://www.melindawennermoyer.com/ Melinda’s Substack: https://melindawmoyer.substack.com/  Connect with Melinda on social media:  https://www.instagram.com/melindawmoyer/?hl=en https://www.facebook.com/melindawennermoyer/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/melindawennermoyer  Emily’s Substack article about Netflix’s Adolescence: https://emilyedlynn.substack.com/p/the-two-problems-with-netflixs-adolescence?r=8nx18 About Melinda Wenner Moyer Melinda Wenner Moyer is an award-winning journalist whose work explores the intersection of science and everyday life. She’s known for her deep dives into subjects that have both scientific and societal implications, addressing issues that are relevant to parents, families, and the general public. Melinda is a contributing editor at Scientific American magazine and a regular contributor and former columnist at The New York Times. Her first book, How To Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes, was published in July 2021 and won a gold medal in the 2022 Living Now Book Awards. Her second book, Hello Cruel World!: Science-Based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times, will be published on May 27, 2025. She lives in New York's Hudson Valley.  Related Episodes: 390. Raising Empowered Girls in a Sexist World with Jo-Ann Finkelstein 381. Reimagining Boyhood with Ruth Whippman 382. The Anxious Generation? The Conversation We Should Be Having About Kids, Technology, and Mental Health 377. How to Raise a Citizen with Lindsey Cormack 317. Growing Up in Public with Devorah Heitner 256. Social Justice Parenting with Traci Baxley 214. How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Jerks with Melinda Wenner Moyer 398. Finding Joy in Your Relationship with Money with Elizabeth Husserl Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if the ability to negotiate with a hostage-taker was also a skill that could improve relationships in everyday life? Gary Noesner, who is a former FBI chief negotiator and author of 'Stalling for Time,' which deep dives into his experiences and the lessons he's learned about human nature and effective communication over his 30-year career, joins Yael for this episode. You’ll hear how patience, empathy, and active listening aren't just crisis tools; they're essential for everyday connection too. Gary also reflects on the evolution of negotiation tactics, the significance of emotional control, and the value of building genuine relationships. Listen and Learn:  How active listening transformed hostage negotiation, from trading demands to truly hearing the pain beneath Why most hostage-takers aren’t criminals but people in crisis, and how listening changes everything How sitting with uncertainty and leading with empathy defuses crises more than force ever could Why slowing down negotiations and investing in human understanding can save lives in high-stakes crises Understanding even the most difficult people can defuse conflict and open the door to real influence The Waco Siege and how it exposed a clash of FBI strategies and what it taught us about negotiation, power, and restraint What strategies do elite negotiators use to maintain composure in high-pressure situations and handle their emotions without assuming undue responsibility? How humility, likability, and relationship-building can defuse conflict at home, work, or in crisis Resources:  Stalling for Time: My Life as an FBI Hostage Negotiator https://garynoesner.com/ Yael’s newsletter post about connecting like a hostage negotiator Kate Murphy’s book with a profile of Gary: Why Won’t You Listen to Me? Jamie Holmes’ book with a profile of Gary: Nonsense Connect with Gary on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gary-noesner-1a2480b Connect with Gary on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Stalling-for-Time/148979708465038 Connect with Gary on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/garynoesner/?hl=en About Gary Noesner:  Gary Noesner retired from the FBI in 2003 following a 30-year career as an investigator, instructor, and negotiator. A significant focus of his career was directed toward investigating Middle East hijackings in which American citizens were victimized. In addition, he was an FBI hostage negotiator for 23 years of his career, retiring as the Chief of the FBI’s Crisis Negotiation Unit, Critical Incident Response Group, the first person to hold that position. In that capacity, he was heavily involved in numerous crisis incidents covering prison riots, right-wing militia standoffs, religious zealot sieges, terrorist embassy takeovers, airplane hijackings, and over 120 overseas kidnapping cases involving American citizens. He has written a book about his FBI negotiation career, which was published by Penguin Random House in 2010, entitled Stalling for Time: My Life as an FBI Hostage Negotiator.    The book is being used in part as the basis for a six-part mini-series on Waco that will air on the Paramount Network on January 24, 2018. Related Episodes: 255. Influence is Your Superpower with Zoe Chance 276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson 392. Outraged with Kurt Gray 403. Conflict Resilience with Bob Bordone and Joel Salinas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today’s episode is one you’re really going to want to lean into because Michael is talking all about radical listening with Robert V. Biswas-Diener. If you’ve ever felt like traditional ‘active listening’ just doesn’t cut it, this conversation is going to open your ears and your mind in a whole new way. They chat about key ideas from Robert and his coauthor Christian Van Nieuwerburgh's book, Radical Listening: The Art of True Connection, such as why traditional active listening often falls short and what it means to really show up for someone through listening with intention, how to adapt your listening style depending on the situation, how culture can shape communication, and why staying curious might be one of the most powerful tools in your toolbox. This conversation is for anyone who wants to have deeper, more meaningful conversations with friends, coworkers, or anyone you care about! Listen and Learn: Why does radical listening go beyond traditional active listening, and how does focusing on intention transform the way we pay attention in conversations? How does your listening intention, whether to validate, learn, or fix, shape what specific cues and details you focus on during a conversation? How can well-intentioned behaviors like comparing, competing, or offering advice become obstacles to effective listening and connection? The importance of aligning your listening intention with the speaker's intention to create a true connection in a conversation How you can use internal and external skills, like calming your mind or staying present, to become a better listener Noticing different types of silence to help you understand what's really happening in a conversation Understanding cultural differences, and letting go of the “awkward pause” to help you listen more openly How you can accept someone’s perspective without agreeing with it, and still create a more respectful and open conversation Why the way you ask questions matters, and why you want to ask ones that help the other person open up, not just satisfy your own curiosity How can interjecting, when done thoughtfully, show deep engagement in a conversation without being rude? Resources: Radical Listening: The Art of True Connection: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781523007196 Robert's LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/robert-biswas-diener-a860289/ Robert’s websites https://robertdiener.com/ and https://positiveacorn.com/  Christian’s website: https://coachonamotorcycle.com/ Parking Cars in America, 1910-1945: A History https://relationalriffs.substack.com/p/why-listening-is-a-superpower https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/are-you-listening/ About Robert Biswas-Diener: Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener is a researcher, author, and consultant with 75 peer-reviewed academic articles, and he has over 27,000 citations.  His previous books include The Upside Of Your Dark Side (New York Times bestseller, 2014) and the 2007 prose award winner, Happiness.  He has presented keynotes to Lululemon, Deloitte, Humana, AARP, The World Bank, and others.  In 2024, Thinkers50 named Robert one of the “50 most influential executive coaches in the world”.  He lives in Portland, Oregon, enjoying drawing and rock climbing. Related Episodes: 393. Supercommunicators with Charles Duhigg 353. Ask Great Questions with Jeff Wetzler 360. The Laws of Connection with David Robson 191. Conversations that Connect with AJ Harbinger Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Leadership so often comes with the pressure to appear strong, composed, and endlessly capable, but that version of leadership is no longer serving us. In this episode, Debbie sits down with Patricia Grabarek and Katina Sawyer, co-authors of Leading for Wellness, for a meaningful conversation about redefining leadership through the lens of wellness, authenticity, and vulnerability.  They share why it’s time to move beyond outdated ideals of stoicism and perfection and how embracing a more human-centered approach, through genuine connection, clear boundaries, and flexible team cultures, can lead to healthier, more productive workplaces. With real-life examples and research-backed insights, Patricia and Katina offer practical strategies leaders can use to show up more fully, support their teams more deeply, and lead with intention and care. Listen and Learn: How toxic workplaces don’t just harm employees, they drain communities, profits, and society as a whole How small acts of support from “generator” leaders can spark workplace wellness, even in hard times Can embracing authenticity over outdated leadership norms help teams connect, grow, and stay human? Why showing vulnerability and owning mistakes builds trust, safety, and real connection in leadership Building emotionally honest, flexible team cultures without slipping into toxic positivity How humane leaders bend rigid rules and protect their teams without crossing ethical lines The ways leaders break toxic overwork cycles and build teams that thrive without being always on Resources: Leading for Wellness: How to Create a Team Culture Where Everyone Thrives: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781394292011Connect with Patricia Grabarek and Katina Sawyer on social media: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patriciagrabarek/  https://www.linkedin.com/in/katina-sawyer-ph-d/  https://www.linkedin.com/company/workrbeeing/  https://www.instagram.com/workrbeeing/ https://www.instagram.com/patriciagrabarek/ About Patricia Grabarek and Katina Sawyer: Patricia Grabarek and Katina Sawyer are co-founders of Workr Beeing, and coauthor of Leading for Wellness: How to Create a Team Culture Where Everyone Thrives. Patricia Grabarek, Ph.D., is a seasoned industrial and organizational psychologist specializing in workplace wellness, organizational culture, employee engagement, diversity and inclusion, and leadership development. With a background in both consulting and internal roles, Dr. Grabarek has led people analytics and talent management initiatives for more than 60 organizations across various industries. Her work focuses on research-based strategies to improve well-being, retention, performance, and diversity efforts. She holds a Ph.D. and MS in industrial/organizational psychology from Penn State and a B.A. in Psychology from UCLA. Katina Sawyer, Ph.D., is an industrial and organizational psychologist and an Associate Professor of Management and Organizations at the University of Arizona’s Eller College of Management. A leading expert in work-life balance, leadership, positive workplace behaviors, and diversity, she has published more than 50 peer-reviewed studies, book chapters, and articles in outlets such as Harvard Business Review. She holds a B.A. in psychology from Villanova University and a dual Ph.D. and M.S. in industrial and organizational psychology and women’s studies from Penn State. Related episodes:  338. ACT for Burnout with Debbie!  265. The Power of Emotions at Work with Karla McLaren  299. Leadership and the Changing Workplace with Chris Shipley  378. The Happy High Achiever with Mary Anderson 357. Is Your Work Worth It? How to Think About Meaningful Work with Jennifer Tosti-Kharas and Christopher Wong Michaelson 290. Shared Sisterhood: Collective Action for Racial and Gender Equity at Work with Tina Opie and Beth Livingston  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Constantly battling that harsh inner voice that tells you you're not enough, that you’ll never measure up? It can feel like this voice is always lurking, trying to undermine your confidence and making it so much harder to move forward. The good news is that you can change your internal narrative. For this episode, Jill welcomes Shawn Costello Woolley and Holly Yates, coauthors of The Inner Critic Workbook, a fantastic resource that helps you transform your inner critic into a supportive, empowering voice. You’ll understand how shame fuels negative self-talk, but more importantly, how self-compassion, mindfulness, and connecting with shared humanity can help you to quiet your critic and start building a kinder, more confident inner dialogue. Listen and Learn: How your inner critic often sabotages your path toward what matters to you most Why your inner critic exists, how it hijacks your progress, and the ways it holds you back in life Is your inner critic pushing you to avoid discomfort, keeping you from the meaningful things you crave? Why self-compassion isn’t about letting yourself off the hook Why attempting to replace your inner critic with positivity frequently fails, and what works instead When your inner critic speaks, does it close doors or point you in the direction of values you care about? Using the CARE method for growth to turn your inner critic into a compassionate coach How shame isolates you, but sharing struggles helps you connect and turns our inner critic into a coach Transforming self-criticism into compassion by speaking to yourself the way you would to a friend Stepping back from your thoughts and reacting intentionally, not just based on emotional interpretations How observing your thoughts and actions in the present moment can help clarify your values and guide your choices Resources: The Inner Critic Workbook: Self-Compassion and Mindfulness Skills to Reduce Feelings of Shame, Build Self-Worth, and Improve Your Life and Relationships: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781648484292 Shawn’s website: https://www.drshawnwhooley.com/ More about Holly on: https://www.newharbinger.com/author/holly-yates/ Connect with Shawn and Holly on social media: https://www.linkedin.com/in/holly-yates-8a8055321 https://www.instagram.com/holly.yates.healing/ https://www.instagram.com/shawncostello19/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/shawn-costello-whooley-psyd-b181294 Related Episodes: 385. Oliver Burkeman on Embracing Your Limitations 346. Self-compassion Daily Journal with Diana Hill 341. Self-Forgiveness with Grant Dewar 301. Seven Daily ACT Practices for Living Fully with Diana Hill and Debbie Sorensen 201. Fierce Compassion with Kristin Neff 147. Extending Compassion with Janina Scarlet and Sara Schairer 145. Caring, Compassion, and Cooperation with Paul Gilbert 75. Mindful Self-Compassion with Christopher Germer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.