A description of the daily reflections feature on the UU A Way Of Life blog.
Attachment styles, secure, anxious, and avoidant are formed early in life during the formation of the parent infant bonding. They are manifested in their more essential forms during long term committed relationships like marriage. The attachment style relationship which most often appears in marriage counselor's offices are anxious/avoidant.
Most people are confused about what love is. In this episode love is defined not as what one feels but as what one does. As Tina Turner's great song asks, "What's love got to do with it? It's just a second hand emotion."
What is forgiveness and how does it work? There are two types of forgiveness: spiritual, and psychological. Psychological forgiveness takes four steps: having your say, an explanation, a genuine apology, and amends.
With our expanded life expectancy in contemporary times, people are faced with two adulthoods: the period of 20-50, and 50 - 80. The first adulthood we are biologically programmed by Mother Nature to mate and procreate and assure the continuation of our species. The second adulthood engenders all kinds of existential anxiety because Mother Nature doesn't help us at all. How have you, are you, or will you negotiate this transition from adulthood number one to adulthood #2?
Narrative therapy is a powerful model for mapping the process of psychotherapy. In this episode, an introduction to Narrative therapy is provided describing the landscapes of action, meaning, and identity. Also the definition of intimacy from the Narrative Therapy model is provided.
Nobody should get married or have children until they are 40. We first need to achieve a sufficient level of our own happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment and not expect our partner or children to do this for us.
Infidelity and boundary issues describes the mutual task of couples to define what infidelity is for their relationship. Long term committed relationships create a "sacred space" which third parties have little, if any knowledge of.
Reactivity and responsiveness are important phenomenon in our emotional functioning. These phenomenon are a product of individual awareness and skill in emotional expression and also a sign and symptom of the functioning of emotional systems. The goal in life is to always be responsive and never reactive but few human beings achieve this high bar of emotional functioning.
Geographical solutions describes the desire to run a way when we feel overwhelmed. The question is not what are we running from but what are we running to. Geographical solutions do not address the social, psychological, and spiritual problems that the individual is experiencing. Like turtles who take their shells wherever they go, we humans take our baggage.
A fundamental psychotherapy principle is to take the person where (s)he is at, not where the therapist would like them to be, thinks they ought to be, thinks they should be. Carl Rogers called this "unconditional positive regard." This idea is also called a "nonjudgmental attitude." The principle often is helpful in therapist's personal life, and everybody's personal life, not just in professional relationships.
Episode 3, "The distancer and the pursuer" describes the dance of intimacy. One partner wants more closeness and the other partner wants more distance. How do couples come to understand this isn't about love but the desired level of attachment?
Self disclosure is the key activity which allows relationships to grow.
This overview of the Psychotherapy Stories podcast describes the purpose, mission, vision, goals, resources, and evaluation of this podcast.