Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

Katie Hendricks, PhD, is known for helping people use their body’s innate intelligence. She shares some of her most powerful tools and teachings, including: Her fear-melters for when we get caught in fight, flee, freeze, or faint mode. How to play with your pace so that you’re able to get present, instead of just feeling at the effect of everything coming at you. The loop of awareness, which is a tool for shifting your attention and getting the nourishment of somebody else’s aliveness. Why she sorts life into two files every day. How to incrementally start spending more time in your zone of genius. And persona work. These are potent (and often fun) ways to, as Hendrick puts it, be filling your reservoir so that you don’t have to feel victim to overwhelm, or sacrifice yourself to the world. I’m including a lot in the show notes, including links to the movements for each fear-melter. You’ll find everything on my Substack.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“I don't think anybody manages to go through their experience incarnated in human form and not have chapters of your life that are like, what literally just happened?” says Elizabeth Gilbert. “How did I end up here and who am I? And where did the ground go beneath my feet?” Today, Gilbert shares the story behind her new memoir, All the Way to the River: Love, Loss, and Liberation. She rightly describes it as the most excavating and the most searching thing she’s ever written. The book, and this conversation, are full of lessons for all of us about what we might search for, and find, in ourselves, in our relationships, and in love. For the show notes, head over to my Substack.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“This waiting for approval from daddy—all of that is so antithetical to actually living your own existence,” says psychotherapist Satya Doyle Byock. Today, Byock returns for a conversation about the ego, why it gets a bad rap, and why we need a strong sense of self to be in relationship with anyone. Also: our culture’s ascension myth, and why we have a tendency to misinterpret Jungian psychology and overemphasize the importance of individuation and the drive to transcend. Then, Byock shares something poignant about how life, for her, stays beautiful and bountiful, even in the extreme difficulty of things. For the show notes (including links to my previous conversations with Satya Doyle Byock and our I Ching video workshop), head over to⁠ my Substack⁠.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“What does it mean to make change in my life—not from a place that there was something wrong with me?” asks my coauthor Courtney Smith. “But I made choices that have gotten me here. I respect and value those choices. I understand I wouldn’t be here without them. And I'm also choosing to do something a little bit different going forward.” Courtney is a coach, group facilitator, and Enneagram expert. Today, we’re taking you through the seven tools that form the core process of our new workbook Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness: A Process for Reclaiming Your Full Self. If you want to go deeper, I’m including a lot of interconnected material in the show notes (per usual, though)—including links to my past conversations with Courtney.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today it’s just me, sharing a few revelations I’ve had this summer around: The set ages we seemingly get stuck at. Emotions I’m connecting to for the first time in my life (and how certain codes of anger have helped me). How busyness impacts our physical patterns and the way we hold our bodies, or clench our weight. And practicing rejection and building our capacity to hear no, while simultaneously building our capacity to say no. (In this month’s solo episode, I also get into some life-altering experiences I’ve had with different healers, and the new list I compiled of my favorite healers.) For the show notes, links to all the resources I mention in the episode, and my new workbook Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness—head over to my Substack.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“We’re not empty containers just being filled up with fear and terror and trauma,” says psychotherapist Francis Weller. “We’re also medicine carriers.” Many of you will know Weller from his moving conversations about grief with Anderson Cooper, or his beautiful book The Wild of Edge of Sorrow. Weller’s new book, In the Absence of Ordinary, is exactly what we need now. Today, we talk about the wisdom and vitality that our grief can bring forth if we resist the impulse to go numb. Weller talks about what happens when we keep our grief company, when we allow it to keep moving, when we give ourselves what we’ve so been needing. He invites us, in this time of uncertainty, to move toward imagination, and what he calls the long dark—a space where we can connect with our own immensity, and collectively receive the medicine that is waiting there for all of us. For the show notes (including links to the new edition of The Wild Edge of Sorrow and In the Absence of Ordinary, which was just released), head over to my Substack.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“If we stop transforming, and we try to hold ourselves back, we’re effectively stagnating and killing the life that’s ahead,” says psychologist and author Sharon Blackie, PhD. Today, we talk about what Blackie has learned from studying myths and fairy tales, and working to reimagine the stories that currently define women’s lives. She shares a much-needed, wise, and beautiful perspective on the rebirth that can happen around menopause—when the layers that once defined us are peeled back, to reveal a deeper core, and a chance to transform once more. For the show notes, head over to ⁠my Substack⁠.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“We can’t change what’s happened, but we can change what it looks like inside of our mind-brain-body network,” says neuroscientist Caroline Leaf, PhD. Here, Leaf shares what she’s learned about how our minds work, and how we can change a thought, a habit, a pattern. And we get into the compelling 63-second intervention from her new book, Help in a Hurry: Simple Tips for Finding Peace When You're Overwhelmed, Anxious, or Stressed.      For the show notes, head over to ⁠my Substack⁠.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thomas Hübl (a frequent guest here) is a renowned teacher whose work has focused on resilience and healing trauma. In this conversation, we explore: Some of our biggest fractured interpretations of the world, and how we can gain more clarity and connection. The impulse to become very certain about something very quickly, and our tendency to see other people in 2D—and the consequences of doing so. Using our own energy to temper, or shift, a larger energy that feels overwhelming. Different ways to approach conflict. Letting go of our commitment to having the most extreme reaction. And some of our judgments around wellness and self-care. For the show notes, more on Thomas Hübl, and links to all our previous conversations together, head over to my Substack.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this month’s solo episode, I’m sharing some thoughts on why everyone seems to want a book under their belt, why that may or may not be the right move for you, as well as concrete tips and takeaways about what to think through before you begin putting words on paper. Most importantly, I share some tips and frameworks for getting you through the creative process once you begin. For the show notes (and so many links if you want to go deeper), head over to my Substack.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, I’m talking to Meggan Watterson—theologian and author of The Girl Who Baptized Herself—about the importance of being embodied, the search for self, where we derive power, and the way that culture is edited and passed down to us. Watterson tells the incredible stories behind the Gospel of Mary (and what happened to Mary Magdalene), and the Acts of Paul and Thecla (and what happened to Thecla). We also explore where my work meets hers, and the birth of the seven powers, which become the seven cardinal vices, or the seven deadly sins.   For the show notes, head over to my Substack.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Rutger Bregman is the New York Times–bestselling author of Moral Ambition. Today, he shares his model for living a more meaningful life. It’s not about being an idealist, or following your “passions.” It is, in many ways, about effectively solving the problems in our lives using the talents we already have. For Rutger Bregman’s work (including that amazing viral Davos clip, in case you missed it), head over to my Substack.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“What matters is: Are you free?” asks Elizabeth Ralph. “Do you feel free?” Ralph is a former finance trader, and the founder of the Spiritual Investor, where she now helps people reach financial freedom in less traditional ways. Together, we explore some of my own (self-limiting) stories around money, and how our ego and identity gets wrapped up in our relationship to money. Ralph coaches us through moving toward a place of money neutrality, where it feels like money doesn’t have such a tight grip on us. And she explains why she believes the spiritual world “has to wake up to money.”   For links to Elizabeth Ralph’s programs and the show notes, head over to my Substack.    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“The midlife crisis is not a dark night of the soul,” says Chip Conley, founder of the Modern Elder Academy. “It’s a dark night of the ego.” Conley, who is also the author of Learning to Love Midlife, outlines the main myths that we’re led to believe about midlife—and some optimistic data about what actually happens during this chapter of our lives. He shares different frameworks for navigating the transitions that come in midlife. We talk about how in the early parts of our lives, we’re often naturally focused on constantly accumulating knowledge—and how it can be such a relief, and a gift, to be able to shift into distilling it all into wisdom.   For links to Chip Conley’s work and the show notes, head over to my Substack.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this month’s solo episode, I’m sharing: The tools and people helping me to manage my fear right now. Thoughts on growing up versus waking up. The most important things I’ve learned from the Spiral Dynamics theory of human development, and Ken Wilbur’s concept of holarchies. What makes me believe there is a way for many of us to expand our worldviews and push up the spiral now. And more.   For the show notes (and so many links if you want to go deeper), head over to my Substack.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In her new book, The Genius Myth, journalist Helen Lewis explores how and why we label certain people geniuses; and the impact this has on said geniuses, us, and culture at large. Today, we talk about our perception of the exceptional, and some of our more pernicious and dark misperceptions.   For the show notes, head over to my Substack.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“Living on fire is really a metaphor for figuring out two things,” says Shannon Watts. “What is limiting you. And what is calling you.” Watts spent 11 years as the full-time volunteer lead of Moms Demand Action, which she founded. Now, as she puts it, Watts continues to summon the audacity of other women. Today, she shares so many useful life nuggets from her new book, Fired Up: How to Turn Your Spark Into a Flame and Come Alive at Any Age.   For the show notes, head over to my Substack.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“You're going to find a lot of people doing their best, revealing how beautiful and strange we are, and how remarkable we can be,” says Peabody Award-winning broadcaster and founder of On Being Krista Tippett. In this conversation, Tippett shares where we might turn for more hope and pleasure, and how she thinks about what shapes our presence in the world. For the show notes, head over to my Substack. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In her new memoir, The Dry Season, Melissa Febos (award-winning author of Girlhood) examines her (and our culture’s) relationship to love, to falling in love with someone, to being in love with someone. Today, we talk about why she decided to spend a year celibate after a particularly rough breakup, and what more she wanted from a relationship, from herself, and for her life. We talk about being conditioned to be codependent, the lovely things that have happened in our own long-term relationships when we’ve gone off script, what it actually means to be a people pleaser—and more. For links to Melissa Febos’s books and the show notes, head over to my Substack. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Okay, this is a wild one. Danielle Gibbons is not a psychic, but she is a channel—she channels messages from Mother Mary. Today, she’s sharing her origin story, and a message from Mother: about how to create something sustainable and meaningful, adapt to these ever-evolving times, and find a little bit of beauty right now.  For the show notes, head over to my Substack. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.