Put Yourself First

Trigger warning: This episode talks about grief, death and end of life care.Ladies, I haven't come on here for a proper chit chat in a while. So grab a coffee (or a glass of wine, no judgement) because this one is a catch up.2026 has been the best and worst year of my life. I married Adam on 20 June. On 31 July, his mum Diane passed away after a brutal, fast battle with cancer. Same summer. Same year. The duality of life is real.In this episode, I'm sharing what the last 2 months have actually looked like.What we talk about:The highest high and the lowest low in the same summerThe story of coming home from Italy to see Diane, and why I believe she held on until we got backWhat it was like to be there in her final moments, and why it felt like a portalEasing back into work in September and finding the balance in grief (there is no right way to do it)The women in my community who showed up with voice notes, cards and flowers, and what that kinship in grief meant to meRunning my first half marathon on 4 October for The Christie, the cancer centre that treated Diane earlier in her lifeHow the race really went: under trained, quad cramps at 16.5km, electrolyte mistakes and hyperventilating over the finish line like a toddler mid tantrumRunner's flu, the lessons running has taught me about self belief and rest, and why I'm going back to parkrun for the next 6 monthsWhy the hardest moments can be fertile soil for what comes nextThe feeling I had in 2019 when I launched my first group programme, and why I'm feeling it againBig news: Something major is changing in my business in 2027. It feels like a fresh start. I'll announce it properly on the podcast next week. If you follow me on Instagram, you'll hear before then.If this episode hit home, go and listen to:My episode on entering your rebuilding season and getting your spark backMy episode on supporting a loved one through anticipatory griefSupport The Christie: If you'd like to donate to the charity I ran for, you can do that here: https://www.justgiving.com/page/kat-horrocksConnect on IG: https://www.instagram.com/kat_horrocks/If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a girl who needs it. And if you've got a minute, leave a rating and review. It helps more women find the show.I'll chat to you next week. Big, big announcement.

In September, I hosted my 5th annual Put Yourself First Live, and this week I'm sharing the 3 biggest takeaways from the women in the room.In this episode, I cover:Knowing your season: why the season you're in (growth, rest, recovery, whatever it is) determines your capacity, your boundaries, and what you can realistically expect from yourself right nowThe power of guided reflection: why I'll keep banging on about looking back and celebrating how far you've come for decades to come, and how you can create that space for yourself even without an event to go toThe value of real community: what it means to be in a room (or an online space) full of women who just get it, and why putting yourself out there into new communities, even when it's uncomfortable, is so worth itI also share a little hint about something new coming in my world in 2027. Head to Instagram to be the first to know more.Connect with me:https://www.instagram.com/kat_horrocks/

This week I'm talking about the gap between understanding something and living it. Why that lightbulb moment feels so good, why it can leave you more frustrated when nothing changes, and the question I'm happy to be unpopular for asking every client.In this episodeWhy awareness feels so good (hello, dopamine) and why it's not the same as a shiftMy teacher's pet confession, and why even I'm not immuneHow the hardest working women can still get caught in thisWhy understanding your patterns can leave you more resentful and more stuckThe difference between knowing you're a people pleaser and embodying a woman who puts herself firstWhat a client told me about why she keeps coming back to work with meWhat women need instead of more to consumeWhy even I block out study days a month in advanceHow your habits decide what your life looks like in six monthsThe question to sit withOnce you've had the reflection and the understanding, ask yourself: and now what are you going to do about it?Something big is comingI'm building something new, and it comes straight from everything in this episode. Sisterhood members will hear first. Everyone else, I'll announce it here at the end of October. Instagram is where you'll see it in real time, so make sure we're connected on there - https://www.instagram.com/kat_horrocks/

This one's for the woman rebuilding herself right now. Maybe you're coming out the other side of grief, a breakup, a job loss, or just a proper existential "what the hell am I doing" moment. Maybe it's not an ending at all, maybe it's a beginning: a new place, a new job, a new chapter you didn't see coming.I'm sharing this from the middle of my own rebuild. Adam's mum passed away this summer after a short and brutal battle with cancer, and life has looked nothing like what we thought this year would be. I've been in proper survival mode. But I've turned a corner, and I'm ready to get my spark back.In this episode I'm talking about:Why the instinct to fill your diary with admin and plans isn't actually rebuilding anythingThe one question I asked myself (and Adam asked me) that cut straight through the overwhelmWhy trying to be everything to everyone right now is keeping you stuckThe two simple rituals I've gone back to that ground me before I even open my laptopWhy your alone time deserves the same reverence you'd give your closest relationship, and what happens when you skip itThe "fuck it" permission slip I'm giving you to be a bit more selfish for a whileIf you've been the one doing the most, the over-giver, the over-functioner, this episode is your nudge to put yourself first and fill your own cup back up.Comment on Spotify or DM me @kat_horrocks and tell me what you're taking into your own rebuild. - https://www.instagram.com/kat_horrocks/

Here's something I say to almost every client I work with: you are so much more comfortable with your own discomfort than you are with someone else's.You'll stay late at work instead of protecting your evening. You'll hold space for a friend when you've got nothing left to give. You'll bite your tongue with your partner instead of rocking the boat. All so someone else never has to feel even a flicker of inconvenience.In this episode, I'm naming that pattern and asking the question that flips it on its head: can you get comfortable with someone else's discomfort for once, instead of always absorbing it yourself?What I cover in this episode:The pattern itself, and the three places I see it show up most: at work (staying late instead of holding your boundary), in friendship (holding space when you've got no capacity left), and in relationships (biting your tongue to avoid an argument, instead of saying the true thing).Why this isn't noble. It's self-abandonment. You're not being kind, you're managing everyone else's comfort at the expense of your own needs, your yes, your no, your truth.Why boundaries feel so hard to hold. At the root of it, a boundary asks someone else to inconvenience themselves in some way, and most women would rather sit in their own exhaustion than let someone else sit in that discomfort, even briefly.The reframe I want you to sit with: inconvenience is the price of community. Reciprocal relationships need both people to be inconvenienced sometimes. If you're always the one absorbing it, that's not community, that's imbalance, and it will eventually break.The question I leave you with: why do you let others receive that ease and reliability from you constantly, but won't let yourself receive it back from them when you genuinely need it?My challenge for you this week: find the one relationship in your life where you're always the one absorbing the discomfort, and get curious about what it would feel like to let someone else carry a bit of it instead.If this episode stirred something up in you, or felt like a bit of a call-out, DM me on Instagram and let me know - https://www.instagram.com/kat_horrocks/And if you're ready to look at this pattern inside your own relationship specifically, doors to Cherished are open now. Twelve weeks to feel more supported, more seen, and more like yourself again. - https://www.khorrocks.com/cherished