REFS NEED LOVE TOO

<p>An honest perspective from the 3rd team on the pitch... the referees. Through humor, analysis and education, we are slowly changing how people view referees and officials in all sports. We care and have a love for the game as much as any player or coach. Sometimes even more. Youth soccer (proper football) is a multi-billion $ industry in the US. Tremendous money is spent on players, competitions, travel etc., but almost nothing spent on developing the next generation of referees. I hope that this Podcast inspires, educates and humanizes the next generation of referees for their own development and appreciation from the players, coaches and spectators they need to work alongside. </p>

A Young Ref Stands Up To Abuse And Finds Her Voice: Special Guest Mia Clark

Send us a text The whistle isn’t the hard part. It’s the noise around it—sidelines boiling over, subtle bias that undermines authority, and those early games where one bad interaction can end a career before it starts. We sit down with rising official Mia Clark to talk about staying in the game, building real confidence, and why supporting women on the whistle changes everything. Mia traces her path from a 14-year-old assistant learning the lines in the rain to assignments in the USLW and hi...

10-25
42:17

My Dad's Legacy: Kindness, Integrity and LOVE

Send us a text Grief has a way of focusing the lens on what actually matters: how someone lived, how they treated those who couldn't fight back, and what they stood for even when it was unpopular. My dad never reffed, but he taught me everything about making life’s hardest decisions—kindness first, integrity always, and the courage to do the hard right thing when it counts. We trace a life well lived: European trips, science missions to Alaska and Hawaii, a deep love of national parks, and a...

10-12
24:00

From Corporate Burnout to Passion Project: New Career and New Referees

Send us a text Landing my dream job as Director of Referee Programming and Development at SoCal Soccer League marks the culmination of a four-year journey that began when I started the Refs Need Love Too channel as a joke in 2021. What started as an escape from corporate burnout has transformed into a full-time opportunity to improve referee development across the largest soccer league in America, with over 4,400 teams and 40,000 players. This career shift represents everything I've been wor...

09-06
44:15

From Georgia to the World Cup: Referee Matthew Conger Shares Lessons Learned on the Biggest Stage

Send us a text What does it take to officiate at the highest level of world soccer? Matthew Conger, who refereed at both the 2018 and 2022 FIFA World Cups, pulls back the curtain on the journey from grassroots to elite officiating in this fascinating conversation. Growing up as a goalkeeper in Georgia before eventually representing New Zealand on the international stage, Conger's unique path provides rare insights into what truly separates good referees from great ones. "Positioning and move...

08-16
39:13

Crazy Soccer Parents! The Path to Healthier Youth Sports

Send us a text What if the secret to transforming youth soccer wasn't silencing parents, but engaging them properly? In this eye-opening conversation, Skye Eddy, founder of SoccerParenting.com and "The Sideline Project" challenges the conventional wisdom about "crazy soccer parents" and reveals a path forward that benefits everyone in the youth sports ecosystem. The narrative that parents are the worst part of youth sports has dominated for too long. Skye argues that while the truly problema...

08-02
49:19

Why Referees Need to Master the Art of Letting Go

Send us a text What separates great referees from good ones isn't just knowledge of the laws—it's emotional intelligence. This deeply personal episode explores the challenging balance of life as a sports official while introducing a powerful mental framework called the "Let Them" theory from Mel Robbins." We begin with an intimate look at the struggle to balance a demanding marketing career, family transitions, and referee responsibilities. As my two oldest children prepare to leave fo...

07-29
34:42

You're Not the Bad Guy: Why People Get Angry at Refs and What to Do About It

Send us a text Ever wonder why soccer fields seem to ignite emotions like few other places? In this eye-opening conversation, Dr. Ryan Martin – known as the Anger Professor – reveals the perfect psychological storm that makes pitches emotional pressure cookers. Dr. Martin challenges our fundamental understanding of anger, explaining it's not inherently negative but rather a signal of perceived injustice or goal-blocking. On the soccer field, this manifests when calls feel unfair or when some...

07-01
47:03

Navigating the 2025-2026 Laws of the Game with Leland Grant

Send us a text Soccer's law book undergoes a mini-revolution with the 2025-2026 Laws of the Game, and referee Leland Grant, National Referee Coach and Umpiro founder, breaks down the four most significant changes poised to transform how matches unfold across all levels of play. The first major change introduces a powerful new tool for match officials: the captain-only zone. When surrounded by multiple players, referees can now signal for a four-meter exclusion zone where only the designated ...

06-21
47:12

Life Lessons and Pregame Checklists: Finding Joy On and Off the Pitch

Send us a text Ever wonder how to stay passionate while juggling multiple demanding roles? This candid episode dives into the reality of balancing life as a referee, business professional, content creator, and parent during an especially hectic season. David shares his journey through a particularly intense period—working full-time in sales and marketing for Hip Hues, running Refs Need Love Too, and preparing for his daughter's high school graduation while managing to referee challenging mat...

05-25
45:21

The Path to NCAA College Soccer Officiating: A Conversation with John Collins

Send us a text Ever wondered what it takes to officiate at the collegiate level? John Collins, the National Coordinator of Men's and Women's Soccer Officials for the NCAA, pulls back the curtain on a world that represents both challenge and opportunity for advancing referees. With college soccer now boasting the largest officiating pool in NCAA sports—over 5,380 registered officials—Collins reveals the pathways to breaking into this level. "If you're working at the top youth level and at the...

05-17
52:37

From Center Back to Life Coach: Soccer's Mental Game with MLS Legend Michael Parkhust

Send us a text What does it take to excel as a defender when you don't fit the physical prototype? Michael Parkhurst, who captained Atlanta United to their 2018 MLS Cup victory, reveals how his mind became his greatest strength on the soccer pitch. "My brain was my biggest asset," Parkhurst explains, detailing how he compensated for lacking the traditional center back qualities of height, strength, and aerial prowess. This mental approach not only fueled his remarkable professional career bu...

05-02
48:38

Passport to the Pitch with TravelRef: A Guide to Traveling as a Referee

Send us a text Have you ever wondered how the best soccer referees reach the pinnacle of their profession? For national referee Bowen Taylor, the answer lies in stepping out of your comfort zone and traveling to officiate matches across the country. At just 25 years old, Bowen has already achieved what many referees dream of – earning his national badge and working professional matches in leagues like USL Championship and MLS Next Pro. His secret weapon? Using travel as a catalyst for growth...

04-25
41:07

Protecting Refs: Safety vs. Traditional Uniform Standards

Send us a text The soccer referee uniform has become an unexpected battleground where tradition, practicality, and safety collide. Drawing from over 11 years and 1,300 matches of experience, I share my frustration with the often unreasonable uniform standards imposed on grassroots referees that sometimes compromise their health and wellbeing. Despite US Soccer officially approving hats as part of the referee uniform, many senior officials still pressure referees to forego this essential sun ...

04-20
42:05

Changing the Game: The Renegade Lawyer Referee Ben Glass on Soccer's Culture Problem

Send us a text What happens when we normalize abuse toward the most vulnerable members of our sports community? David Gerson, host of Refs Need Love Too, joins attorney Ben Glass on the Renegade Lawyer podcast to tackle one of youth sports' most pervasive problems—referee abuse and its devastating impact on officiating retention. This raw, revealing conversation explores the alarming statistics: we've lost over 30% of certified soccer referees since 2019, with 80% of new officials quitting w...

04-12
56:03

Untold Sacrifice: Balancing Life, Career and being a Pro Referee with Melisssa Gonzalez

Send us a text What does it really take to officiate at soccer's highest levels while maintaining a corporate career?Pro assistant referee Melissa Gonzalez pulls back the curtain on the demanding reality behind the flags and whistles. "The perception is this is my full-time job, but it's not," Gonzalez reveals, describing her meticulous scheduling between IT project management responsibilities and professional refereeing commitments. Unlike many officials who map out deliberate career paths,...

03-16
38:55

Mastering Game Management: Insights from FIFA Referee Ismail Elfath

Send us a text Join us for a captivating conversation with Ismail Elfath, a FIFA International Referee who has officiated matches on the world stage. Throughout the episode, Ismail outlines the critical skills of game management and the significance of body language and authority in establishing respect from players. He shares personal stories and advice that showcase what it means to be not just a referee, but a figure of stability on the pitch. Listeners will gain insight into the balance ...

03-02
37:45

From World Cups to Grassroots: Kari Seitz's Vision for Refereeing at U.S. Soccer

Send us a text Kari Seitz, one of the most distinguished figures in soccer officiating, unravels the secrets of her trailblazing career in our latest episode. As the Vice President of Referees for US Soccer and the former FIFA head of refereeing for women, Kari's insights are a treasure trove for anyone passionate about the beautiful game. With her unparalleled experience at four World Cups and three Olympic Games, she has a one-of-kind perspective as she shares her strategies for advancing r...

02-22
48:57

Understanding Referee Challenges: Empathy, Personal Struggles, and Youth Sports Dynamics

Send us a text Michael Oliver's controversial red card decision during the Arsenal vs. Wolves match has ignited debates far beyond the pitch, demanding a closer look at the high-stakes world of refereeing. Join us as we unpack the intense scrutiny faced by officials in the English Premier League, emphasizing the importance of empathy and understanding for their challenging roles. We also dive into David Coote's candid revelations about his journey through personal struggles, painting a poigna...

01-30
43:48

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