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Author: Toni-Ann Mayembe from Real Happy Mom

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Real Happy Mom Podcast will help moms in different stages through inspiration and practical advice from interviews and discussions with other moms from all walks of life and all parts of the world.
57 Episodes
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Adenomyosis and pregnancy loss are two very painful things to experience.  On this episode of the Real Happy Mom Podcast Que is back to talk about how to support someone that has experienced pregnancy loss and more about her story and recent diagnosis of adenomyosis. To find the links and show notes go to realhappymom.com/36
On this episode of the Real Happy Mom Podcast, I'm rewinding back to episode 17. I am talking to Katie Kahvo. Katie is a wife, mother to a three-year-old and a life coach. We talking about how you can lose yourself in motherhood. With the simple steps that Katie mentions in this episode, you will get back to feeling like you again instead of lost in motherhood. To find all of the links and show notes, head over to realhappymom.com/17 Links mentioned in this episode Coloring Book February Giveaway Katie's blog post on affirmations Jen Sencero Katie's website True You Facebook group Katie's Facebook page Katie on Instagram
Do you ever find yourself struggling with an abundance of toys or trying to figure out activities for your child? It's easy to get overwhelmed, but the truth is it doesn't have to be difficult. In this episode of the Real Happy Mom Podcast my guest shows how to enjoy your child more by doing less. Listen to the full episode above or check the previously published post below. This post contains affiliate links. This means I will make a commission at no cost to you if you make a purchase using the links. About Jenny Jenny is a journalist and mother that teaches about parenting from a different angle. Jenny has taken time to research and find parenting practices that allow parents and children to have more peace. By looking at history Jenny has found basic principles for parenting that allow parents to do less and enjoy their child more. Evolution of parenting Humans have evolved over the last 200,000 years without toys, without any stores that had toys, or Pinterest that had activities for kiddos. We have thrived without toys. So when did this need for toys start? When Jenny looks back on her research she finds that at the start of the industrial revolution is when toys became available. Jenny also notes that happiness started to decrease at the same time as well. This is also around the time that many parenting books came out that encouraged self-soothing and the thought that children need to be ignored so that you don’t spoil them. And so in place of that, we actually stopped honoring the most important thing that a child needs, which is a secure attachment to their parent or to their primary caregiver. And we started to give them toys and materials in place of that, which is the lousiest replacement. An Alternative Parenting Style  Jenny has been working hard to let parents know that you don’t have to stress yourself with purchasing toys and finding activities for your kids. News flash. Jenny doesn’t set up any activities for her daughter. And her daughter is learning and having fun every day. What she does is utilize RIE parenting. RIE parenting stands for Respectful Infant Educarer Parenting. RIE Parenting was created by Magda Gerber in the 1980s but was inspired by a Hungarian pediatrician, Emmi Pikler. He observed children thrive when they just played freely and unstructured in their environment. He also found that kids learn casually not testing by testing. Children were learning their alphabet by singing songs versus testing them with posters on the wall. So if we look inside of our houses, we have measuring cups. Those are stacking toys, right? And most of the things we see on Pinterest, putting balls in the holes, stacking color, sorting, all of these things. But our natural environment gives us those opportunities for free every day without ever getting to buy a toy and without ever needing to set up an activity. Our natural environment gives children toys and the opportunity to play without setting up activities or buying toys. All you need to do is allow your children to explore the world freely. This means that you can allow them to play with the pots in the kitchen or paper in your office. All you have to do is sit back and watch your child do their magic with the things around them. Children are very capable Our bodies naturally know what’s safe and what isn’t. Unfortunately with many parenting styles, this natural instinct is dulled. This happens when a child is repeatedly over time told that something is not safe and we don’t give them the opportunity to explore it.  As a result, the child doesn’t trust their own intuition. The Continuum Concept In the book, The Continuum Concept, the author, Jean Liedloff, was able to live with a tribe for two years and made observations and then wrote the book. She noticed that there weren’t any tantrums, terrible twos or sibling rivalry. You know. All of the things that we struggle with so much in modern society. The author started compiling what the parents were doing and not doing. One of the things that she noted was up until the time a baby could crawl, they're in their mother's arms. The mothers carry them in a baby carrier for the first six months of life or until they can crawl. So that entire time they're up at adult eye level, they're understanding how conversations work, seeing how the mother works and goes about their daily work. Essentially they are learning how the world works. Then after the child can crawl, they're put down on the floor and they start to go along with their mother about the day as she works. They're crawling around her feet and they start to play with everything. Including the big machetes. The kids would pick them up and never hurt themselves because they knew it was delicate. The same thing with fires. I will be honest. My first instinct is to remove my child from anything that is hot. But the children instinctively knew that the fire was hot because they could feel the heat on their body as they got closer. Basically, the author recommended after her observation, that parents needed to sit back and quietly and lovingly observe their child. By doing this, your trust will build in them and their trust will build in themselves. Children are actually capable of doing more than what we think. Capable of using a sharp knife For instance, Jenny started her daughter with a knife at 15 months old. She allowed her to use a crinkle knife. The knives used to cut crinkle fries that is stainless steel and has a handle on top. This knife allows her daughter to learn how to use a knife. Then by 20 months, her daughter was chopping carrots, banana, and broccoli. Don’t believe me? Check out Jenny’s Instagram page.  Now Jenny’s daughter is 28 months and is using a serrated knife and doesn’t cut herself. Now if you are like me and aren’t ready to let your little one hold a sharp knife, you can start with a nylon knife. Your child can cut through cucumbers and zucchini without you needing to watch them. The difference between child-friendly home and childproofed home How many times have you walked into your house with the kids and allowed your kids to go free without the feeling that you need to run behind them to make sure that they don’t get into something or do something unsafe? It’s really hard to have peace in your home when you can’t allow your child to be free. You deserve to be able to walk into your home and have time to decompress without worrying about your little one. By having a child-friendly home you can do this. This is different from childproofing. Childproofing your home involves modifications so that your child is less likely to injure themselves. Jenny learned about setting up a child-friendly home on the Montessori Notebook. Here are a few steps to get you started. Setting up a child-friendly home First, get down at the eye level of your child. Experience what the home looks like from their level. You can start to see that there is not much going at their level. Start by bringing enriching things to their eye level by adding artwork. Instead of strapping your child in a high chair, try using a weaning table. As soon as your child can sit up you can start them in this chair. Your child can easily get in and out of the chair without your assistance. You want to avoid strapping your child in because as Jenny explains it is the kind of basic respect to never strap someone into something and make them feel like they can get out. Of course, we need to strap our kids in the car seat when we are driving, but at home avoid strapping your child into a seat. Next, try to get child-size furniture. You don’t have to go out and buy new furniture for your child. But make amendments to the furniture that you do have. You can cut the legs off of chairs. Instead of using a playpen, use a baby gate in front of doors you don’t want your child going through. Like the front door for instance. Instead of locking the kitchen cabinets, take out anything toxic and replace it with non-toxic products so that your child can roam freely in the kitchen. So instead of making underneath the kitchen sink the place for products, you know, I have a small squirt bottle filled with water for her in it and a little rag so she can open underneath the cabinet and she can spray the floor and clean the floor or clean her table. Risky Play How many times have you seen your child playing and you know that they could do something to get hurt? Our immediate reaction is to prevent our kids from getting hurt. But Jenny shares that there is a need for risky play. There are so many studies on what is called in the child development world risky play and the importance of it. Actually, the earlier we allow risky plays, this is playing with knives, climbing up on high structures, falling over, the more capable their body is going to be. So the more that we shield them from risky play and trying things, actually the opposite happens. The more you shield your child the more fear they will develop in their adult life and the more anxiety they suffer from as adolescents. Next time, instead of stopping your little one from climbing on the sofa, let them go. You might be surprised at how well they do. Doing less, but modeling good use of electronics I will admit, I am on my devices a lot. Between the blog and trying to keep up with social media, I spend a great deal of time on my phone and laptop. I talked to Jenny about how I could help make sure that my kids didn’t end device junkies. So the first thing to ask ourselves is what do we want? How do we want our children to use technology? What would make you comfortable? What are your boundaries with your child? How frequently do you want them on a device? What do you want them doing on a device? And then you can kind of make your own boundaries based on that. If it makes you uncomfortable that your child is on the computer for a long length of time, it’s time to designate times that your child can be on the computer or their tablet. Tablets and laptops are very useful tools, but we don’t want our kids addicted to devices. One thing that is helpful, is to talk to your child about what you are doing on your device while you are using it.  For instance, the next time you are looking up a recipe to cook for dinner, read the recipe out loud. Or when you are trying to get directions to a party, you can show your kids how you are using your phone to get directions to your destination. Jenny does this when she is writing a blog post. I'll say, I just wrote this blog here and this is my work that I do. I get to educate about respecting babies and children and so now so people can read it. I'm going to type it into the computer. So I'll be right here doing that. While you're playing and then I'll be finished soon. Basically you want to make sure that you are modeling the behavior and habits you want your child to heave.   Did you love these tips from Jenny on how to enjoy your child more by doing less? Let me know in the comments what you think about this parenting technique. Check out everything Jenny is doing and to learn how you can incorporate RIE parenting, follow her on Instagram. Links Mentioned The Continuum Concept- Jean Liedloff Crinkle Knife Nylon Knife The Montessori Notebook RIE Parenting Risky Play Unconditional Parenting - Alfie Kohn Jenny on Instagram  Additional Resources  Free Play Instead of Structured Play Toddler Knife progression Jenny's 20-month old chopping The Continuum Concept Setting up a Child-Friendly Home The Importance of Risky Play Helping Kids Succeed at the Playground Unconditional Parenting   The post #54 - How to Enjoy Your Child More By Doing Less appeared first on Real Happy Mom
Have you search for healthy eating tips and still found that you weren't eating the best foods? The bad news is manufacturers are making it harder to eat truly healthy foods. But there is good news. I have a special guest Mira Dessy, also known as the Ingredient Guru, that will help you understand what to look for when purchasing foods at the grocery store. To find the links and show notes, head over to realhappymom.com/53 This episode is sponsored by Marianne with Lilla Rose. Meet the Lilla Rose Flexi! The only clip that works in baby fine to super thick hair. It comes in 7 sizes, one for every hair type. The Flexi can be used to do a large variety of hairstyles; from half-ups and ponytails, to French twists, buns and braids. They are incredibly comfortable with no pulling or headaches. Make sure to pick out your correct size on the styling page. Then go here to order today! Links mentioned in this episode: The Dirty Dozen theingredientguru.com Ingredient Guru Support Group Lean Green Box - a subscription box Are Plastics Making you Fat and Anxious - get it for FREE here.
Get productivity hacks for moms from a productivity ninja. Cara from A Purpose Driven Mom,  shares productivity tips for moms so that you can get more done. She also shares how to make time for yourself as a mom. Because we all know that we could use more time for ourselves. To find the show notes, go to www.realhappymom.com/52 Links mentioned in this episode Losing Yourself in Motherhood with Katie Kahvo The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy The 12 Week Year by Brian Moran Trello Our Deepest Fear By Marianne Williamson Andy Mineo Cara on Instagram - @purposedrivenmom Cara on Facebook A Purpose Driven Mom Community - Facebook group A Purpose Driven Mom - Cara’s Blog A Purpose Driven Mom Show - Cara’ Podcast
Juggling starting a business and a family is a job itself. But there are ways that you can simplify how things get done so that you get more done while enjoying your family. You deserve to be able to pursue your dreams and be an awesome mom. I've got Kerryn to help with this. Kerryn is productivity and system strategist that helps mompreneurs to organize their businesses so that they can work part-time hours, do the nap time hustle and earn a really great income for the family now. This is a conversation that you want to hear if you are just starting out your business or you are seasoned in your business. To find the complete show notes go to www.realhappymom.com/51 Key takeaways from this episode: Make the most of your time by prioritizing tasks. Take the next step. Then the next step. Use time blocking to be intentional with your time. Stay connected with the reason you started your business or side hustle. Links mentioned in this episode: Kate Northrup’s book, Do Less Jordanna Levin website Jordanna Levin on Instagram Kerryn’s website Kerryn on Instagram
It is tough juggling work, home and finding time for yourself. There is a wat to get it all done. I have my virtual bestie, Julie from Fab Working Mom Life to share how she streamlines her life so that life is easier as a working mom. To find the complete show notes go to realhappymom.com/50 Key Takeaways: Learn to say no. You shouldn't be everywhere, doing everything. If an activity doesn’t fulfill you and isn’t vital to be done by you, delegate! Put everything on a calendar with a reminder.  Links mentioned in this episode: Fab Working Mom Life Amazon Prime Wal-Mart Grocery Evernote If This Then That (IFTTT) Affirmations for Working Moms  Put the ME Back in Mommy Summit is a FREE 5-day long virtual summit that will help you learn how to reclaim your passion, pursue your purpose, and live your dream while still being a great mom. This virtual conference provides you with the best tips and strategies from the leading industry experts. The summit has already started. So claim your FREE seat now.
You've watched others get the most done as a busy mom and wondered how do they do it all? It's not easy for sure. But there are some working mom tips that can help you be more productive and get more done during the day. If you're ready, check out this episode and go to realhappymom.com/49 for the show notes. Key Takeaways: A brain dump in categories to get everything out of your head. Use batching to minimize multitasking and to get the most done as a busy mom. Use time slots to race against the clock to get a task done. Ask for help. One of the best working mom tips ... Overestimate how long it will take to complete a task. Links mentioned in this episode: Famlee of Four Darlene on Etsy Darlene on Facebook Darlene on Instagram Put the ME Back in Mommy Summit Put the ME Back in Mommy Summit is a FREE 5-day long virtual summit that will help you learn how to reclaim your passion, pursue your purpose, and live your dream while still being a great mom. This virtual conference provides you with the best tips and strategies from the leading industry experts. The summit begins on October 21st. So claim your FREE seat now.
Open enrollment is coming up and there are some things that you need to know to make the best choice for health insurance. My Guest on the podcast is Lorena from MALM Life and Health Insurance Agency. She shares ways to maximize your insurance so that you can make the best decisions for open enrollment. To find the show notes head over to realhappymom.com/48 and to learn more about the Put the ME Back in Mommy Summit go to realhappymom.com/summit   Links mentioned in this episode: Lorena's website Get in touch with Lorena via phone at +1-786-236-1792 Lorena on Facebook Put the ME Back in Mommy Summit (this is an affiliate link - this means that I may make a commission at no cost to you if you make a purchase)   Put the ME Back in Mommy Summit is a FREE 5-day long virtual summit that will help you learn how to reclaim your passion, pursue your purpose, and live your dream while still being a great mom. This virtual conference provides you with the best tips and strategies from the leading industry experts. The summit begins on October 21st. So claim your FREE seat now.  
I know the struggle of trying different diets with the promise of losing weight and feel great. Restrive diets can help in some situations but are not meant for long term use. So what are you supposed to do to long term? I've got Jen Wright, a Mayo Clinic certified wellness coach and a nationally board-certified health and wellness coach, to tackle this question and so much more. To find the links and show notes, head over to realhappymom.com/47 Links mentioned in this episode: NPR Podcast - Life Hack - Episode on Intuitive Eating Noom Wellness Wheel Mel Robins - Take Control of your Life
I don't have time is a common phrase used by busy moms. But is it really that you don't have time? Many times we are overwhelmed and feel like we can't even take care of our selves let alone do anything fun. This does not have to be your reality. I have a special guest who is an expert in psychology that will help you eliminate I don't have time from your vocabulary. And start doing the things that you enjoy more often. Check out this episode now. To find the links and show notes head over to https://www.realhappymom.com/46 Key takeaways Rephrase the way you talk about time. When mom guilt creeps in, identify if its justified or unjustified guilt Be careful how you talk to yourself. Especially when it comes to time. Instead of saying I don't have time try saying it's not a priority. Links mentioned in this episode Jessica's website Jessica on Instagram Jessica on Facebook
You probably have had an idea of what is a good mom for a long time. After becoming a mom you have tried to live up to the vision that you had and found that you are not fulfilled or truly happy. You are not alone! My guest, Alisha, helps us to uncover how to define what we think is a good mom. Not what has been ingrained in us through society, social media or our family. Check out the podcast to learn more. For the links and the show notes, go to www.realhappymom.com/45 Key take aways Every woman was created to be a certain woman. Be you! What is a good mom to you? Take time to define what the best version of a mom looks like to you. Take time to journal Links mentioned in this episode Alisha on Instagram Alisha on Facebook Alisha’s website
A morning self care routine is more than pampering and making yourself feel good in the morning. Incorporating the morning self-care routine is going to help you to feel more energized, prepared, and ready for the day because as moms who we need to make sure that we are ready for anything. Check out this episode to learn important things to incorporate in your morning self care routine. To find the show notes, make sure that you go to https://www.realhappymom.com/44 Key takeaways Morning exercise can wake you better than a cup of coffee. Yoga has many health and mental benefits even if you do 10 minutes a day. You are what you think. Think good things with affirmations. Stop rushing and slow down. Do not look at your phone first thing in the morning. Links mentioned in this episode Episode 37 with Naomi - This is why self-care is a necessity Episode 43 with Kimberly - 4 cups for self-care Episode 25 with Valeria - Yoga for sustainable self-care Headspace for mediation Mommy affirmations Guided meditation on YouTube Mommy affirmations
You have probably heard, you can't pour from an empty cup. This is why self-care for moms is so important. Kimberly from Cherished Wives shares her perspective of self-care using the 4 cups for self-care - self-care for you physical, mental, spiritual and emotional wellbeing. Check this episode out to learn more! To get the complete show notes head over to realhappymom.com/43 Links mentioned in this episode Kimberly's blog post that inspired me to write one of my popular posts My popular post inspired by Kimberly Kimberly's post that talks about the benefits of crying Cherished Wives Kimberly on Facebook Kimberly on Instagram
Have you ever found it difficult to truly learn how to forgive yourself or others and move on? Whether it was something hurtful done a long time ago or an action you took that you regret, forgiveness will allow you to let go of the emotional baggage that will prevent you from being the best mom and woman you can be. My guest, Karen, shares her story about forgiveness and steps you can take to begin the process of forgiveness today. To find the links and show notes go to www.realhappymom.com/42
Are you looking to find new mom friends? Check out this short episode on making new mom friends. Check out https://realhappymom.com/41 for the show notes.
There's nothing worse than starting the week in panic mode. Taking time to prepare for the week on Sunday will help ensure a productive week. Check out this list for Sunday prep for the week. Plus get the checklist to make your week easy! Make sure to go to realhappymom.com/40 to get the links and show notes. Links mentioned in this episode Sunday prep checklist plus meal planner Meal prep planner Organizer for the purse Spend quality time
Parenting can be tough. But with gentle parenting, you will find that you and your child are calmer than ever. Forget the yelling and fussing. Gentle parenting requires a different approach that is effective and less stressful. So what is gentle parenting? And how do you start implementing gentle parenting? My guest Amber from Look What Love Made answers these questions and so much more. Make sure to head over to realhappymom.com/39 for the complete blog post, links and show notes. Links mentioned in this episode: Amber's blog - Look What Love Made Amber on Instagram Amber on Facebook Rest Play Grow by Dr MacNamara  Calm Down Center Kit Checklist
On this episode, I am talking to Chari about moms losing their identity.  This is a common problems that many moms have experienced. If you are finding yourself devoting all of your time and energy to your kids and leaving nothing for yourself there is a chance that you will lose your identity. Then you will struggle with simple questions like what's your favorite food? Or, what do you like to do for fun? Check out Chari's tips to getting back to the lady before she became a mom. Chari also shares how she got started with making jewelry and how you can do the same. To find the links and the show notes, go to realhappymom.com/38 Links mentioned in this episode: Chari's website Chari's Etsy Shop Chari on Instagram Mommy affirmations
On this episode I am talking to Naomi Gottlieb-Miller from Conscious Healthy Mama about self-care. She breaks down what self care really is and why it is a necessity. Did you know that self care benefits you and your kids. Listen to this episode to find out how. Check out realhapppymom.com/37 for the show notes. Links mentioned in this episode: Conscious Healthy Mama website Naomi on Instagram Naomi on Facebook Naomi on Youtube
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