Real Talk The Movement

Tonight, Real Talk the Movement speaks with Holistic Healer, Intuitive Reader, Author and Soul Guide, Esther Austin of the UK.  I had the pleasure of speaking with her when Dr. Kathleen Walls informed me that she would be on the show.  I said, I would listen in as a form of support but boy oh boy, was I in for something more..... she read me and read me well!  This evening, we are opening up the lines to let you speak with her.  Her goal is to empower individuals to understand themselves better and to hopefully bring about a deeper sense of awareness of self and that then of healing.  Esther Austin,  being highly intuitive and  sensitive to energies and people's pain, coupled with her own painful life experiences she has the ability to enrich peoples lives with the awareness of how to create different realities in their life experiences in order to enjoy more fulfilling, loving, balanced lives because now in my life, I certainly have found that. Join us for this hour long conversation as we speak with her and allow her to speak into you...

Is it true?  People have to be cautious now when dating because most people are looking for help, not love?  We live in a society now where love has been watered down to the words of "I'm here aren't I?" or "I'm not with anyone else so I must love you!"  That does not mean you love.  It could just mean that it is convenient, you are an opportunist or you have nothing else to do right now and this helps me out. We are relational beings, we were created from love so shouldn't love exude from our very pores?  Life, divorce, faulty relationships have made a many people cautious in their next relationship.  In that caution, are people simply looking at what can the other person do for me as opposed to what can I do for you?  What are the right steps we need to take in order to ensure we are not trapped in the "help syndrome"?  Are there signs to look for and if so, how does one develop the courage to step away from it? Love is a leap of faith.... it simply is. You're either in it all the way or you're not at all.  Talk to us tonight!

We've been talking for the past few weeks about doing what's best for the children as adults.  If you have an ex in your life and you have children in the union or children from a previous relationship, you will be called to co parent which can, if allowed, cause tension between the new person in the picture.  The ideal situation would be for all parties to live in perfect harmony, right? However, we don't live in a perfect world and if selfishness, wrong motivations or strife exist, "Houston, we are going to have a problem."  The reason second time around relationships fail, many times is because we have not set boundaries with the previous.  As a woman, one thing I know is that if the other woman feels she has the upper hand on you because of what the man does, it will cause conflict.  How does one get through?  Do you discuss what goes on in your current relationship with your ex? When it comes to the children, how is our discussion?  Should you always be available for frivolous conversation?  How does one make the ex realize that they are going to have to deal with the current person you're in a relationship with? When is it okay to be honest with the ex and let them know you are in a new relationship?  It is important when there are children involved to maintain a good healthy balance in your relationship with the ex and the current. It’s never an easy transition, but many times we create our own defaults and downfalls, which often lead to epic fails. Many people deal with the X-factor so we want you to talk to us tonight..this is Real Talk the Movement

I've seen people in relationships that you can tell no love exists.  As a matter-of-fact, they don't even talk.  Could it be that relationships have taken a turn to us staying there due to obligation as opposed to authentic love?  Why do many jump in in the first place?  Mind you, when you make a decision to be in a committed relationship, does that make you obligated to the other individual?  Is that a difference from being accountable?  I believe partners become accountable because they are committed and because they want to and it allows trust to grow.. .you communicate because you want to... you love because you feel free and its simply natural to do with that person.  To be obligated means you are morally or legally bound; you are committed or here we go...you feel a debt of gratitude for a service or favor.   I feel there lies the problem...feeling indebted!   Because a person has been there for you financially, physically due to sickness, let you have a place to stay, etc., you may feel you owe them for it.  In the end, it doesn't always turn out right.  Please don't start the madness and be honest and true from the beginning. A void lies and one may begin cheating, both are not happy, the children see the stress.  We need to assess the foundation to any relationship.  Faking it in a relationship not only hurts the other person, it hurts YOU in the long run.  The only proving you have to do is prove to yourself that you can always find the courage to do what is the absolute best for YOU, in spite of what society, your parents, your friend, your colleagues, and your church says! At the end of the day, being in an obligatory relationship is self-serving because you are trying to meet your own personal needs. Let's talk about this tonight because we don't want to see anyone get into one or be on the other end of it!

By all means, we are advocates of marriage, we believe in love and relationship.  We do know, because of unforgiveness, hardness of heart, infedility, etc., many marriages fail...and our children suffer.  Tonight, we want to discuss "should people stay in an unhealthy relationship for the sake of the children and try to work it out?"  Is that possible? In loving environments, we know that we not only thrive, but our offspring thrive as well.  So if there is no love, no trust, no respect, what does that show the children?  Kids are not crazy, they can feel what goes on in an atmosphere.  So what do we do to maintain structure in a family?  I learned from my parents what a marriage looks like and I tried to recreate just that.  It just so happened that it did not work out.  Could it have worked...maybe?  But it takes two and the circumstance always arises.  So for the sake of the kids, do we stay together?  Understand that kids tend to do what we do.  Some will feel it is okay to stay in a loveless marriage as it preserves some sort of structure while others learn if it is not working, to get out!   Don't think for a minute that your kids don't pick up on any of this, that you hide it from them, or that you teach them to "do as I say, not as I do". They are learning how to make relationships by watching what you do in yours.  Let's talk about this tonight!

Breaking up IS hard to do. There’s pain, tears, possibly even anger.  So to soften the effect of the words, what we do is say, "but let's stay friends." In a civil world, this may seem like a good idea. Mind you, you were in a relationship with this person for some type of good reason, it is evident you like them as a person, you had fun together and shared a lot together. It's just now, things changed.  If both individuals are emotionally mature, and completely lacking in romantic feelings for each other, then a jump straight to the friend zone might be possible. However, this very rarely happens. Mutual breakups are usually not mutual, and the breakee is holding on. So the question is:  Can you easily turn off the romantic feelings when relationships end?   Deep down inside, if you still have feelings for that person do you still have the "hope" that you will get back together? How about those mixed messages? One of the worst things that can happen to your dating life is getting hung up on someone who doesn’t love you. You pine, and they move on. Each new person that comes your way and expresses interest is swiftly blown off, because you are desperately hoping you can rekindle the flame with your ex. You can’t meet someone new because your old love is still in your life — hanging around being your pal and reminding you how great they are. I believe everyone needs a cooling off period but that can get very tricky if the other party still has not let go!  Serving walking papers.. Staying Friends – is it a good idea?

It has been said that to be drunk in love or "love drunk" is when you miss the other person so much that you simply cannot get them out of your mind and you become a mess constantly thinking about them.  You're facebooking them, calling, texting trying to get a hold of them, and going crazy when you can't reach them. Some people said they zone out, become anxious and can't think straight, sounds like "drunk to me."  Real Talk, when you love someone, don't you think about them constantly, love to be around them and if you were to break up, heartbreak would occur?  So what's the difference?  Let's talk about this Love Drunken State.... is it healthy or dysfunctional?

The older we become, the more people come into our lives with issues and baggage.  No one is exempt, you just need to know what you're getting and if you are able to handle those issues and that baggage; the negotiables and nonnegotiables as Dr. Ryeal Simms mentions often.  Could you be in a relationship with a person that doesn't seem quite right?  A psychopath, a sociopath, etc?  You need to know the signs so cra cra does not enter the building.  We want to see all people successful in life and relationship, so let's pay attention. Psychopaths can be extremely charming so unless you know the signs, you will get sucked in.   Some times they will do what is called "crack in the mask"....  he/she will blurt out, "you know I'm crazy" or "I'm cheating on you" but then they play it off as a joke.  Of course, nobody is perfect, and some people are just immature and go through periods of giving the silent treatment, try to create jealousy because they're insecure or bored or don't even quite realize they're doing it. Let's talk tonight!

Ask yourself:  Do you discriminate based on sex?  Do you stereotype the opposite sex because of something you experienced, heard or simply look for the negative?  We've all had bad experiences with those of the opposite sex but do you yet categorized into the following:  "women are hoes and men are dogs".  Since women's lib, women have been afforded the opportunity to work in a so called "man's world" and are doing it.  But has it cost us relationship?  Many of our men are incarcerated, have lost their jobs and some carry "the momma's boy syndrome..  Has that effected the way men deem themselves as the man of the house or the bread winners in the household? I believe we have work to do in order for neither of the sexes to judge, put down, stereotype, etc... why?  because many things are individualized though we have been effected in a genera sense.  Let's talk tonight about Sexism, feminism and chauvinism on Real Talk Radio!  We're ready...  LET'S GO!

When hearing the term alpha male, women see him as powerful, a "man's man," possesses the qualities of a leader, protector, territorial.  Women now possess these same qualities due to career choice, having to take on the responsibility of mom and dad in the household or business owners.  She is then known as the "alpha female."   Being an Alpha Female should be looked at as a good thing, but most bold women are sometimes recognized as high-maintenance, controlling, strong, harsh at times.   At the end of the day, a woman is a woman and the feminine qualities are there, it is just many of us have to find them again.  At the end of the day, a woman wants a man to take charge, protect, lead and respect her.  So now, how does a woman get back to her feminine ways or learn how to turn off the alpha rhythm?  Tonight we will speak with Dr. Darnise Martin on "Leading with the Feminine".   We're excited about it!

We just experienced the Oscar's last week and saw so many smiles, hugs and kisses amongst couples.  Couples in love, couples on their way to love and friends just being with friends.   I look back at Denzel and Pauletta Washington,  how before Denzel came to fame and fortune, there was Pauletta by his side, the same goes for Samuel L. Jackson and Latonya Jackson and so many others.  These couples proved the test of time.  But with the fame, has come other distractions in the form of people, more stardom, money and I'm sure things we could only imagine.  Though they are on the big screen, what about those not on the big screen and are climbing the corporate ladder or in the limelight?  Can love and fame co-exist?  If so, what has to happen for it to sustain?  Do people really grow apart or is it that one simply gets caught up? Let's talk tonight!

In life, there are many lessons we will learn.  During some of those lessons, we will become frustrated, hurt, saddened, thoughtful and hopefully grow.  The most important lessons seem to be those that frustrate or hurt us the most.  In those, you may be in a relationship that may not necessarily be the right relationship for you, but then again...it could be.   At that moment, you have to begin to ask the right questions.  The problem for many people is that we get into a rush or believe a relationship will never happen so we jump in to a thing and stay in it even though it does not feel right.  There is a lesson here and you can learn more about you in it.  Tonight, we will talk about the following: How do you know this is the wrong person for youHow to know what a healthy relationship looks likeCan one maintain friendship with the "lesson"Do you have the willingness to know when it is right to stay devoted and committed Join us for the conversation...

In lieu of it being Black History Month, we are going to face the elephant in the room!  Do black women tear each other down?  It amazes me as to when I hear of someone's success, there are others who find the slightest crevice to tear it down with little words like, "she ain't all that!"  "Honey I remember when!".  Are we bitter towards one another and if so, why?  Is it because we are not happy where we are or simply don't respect one another?  We are some of the most intelligent people I know, are creative and can take the impossible and make it possible with the help of God!  Somebody tell me what's really going on!  I can't wait to hear from my sistas!!

The older you become, the more apt you will run into "potentials" who have children.  The question is, would you be willing to date someone with kids?  The reality!  When people have children, those children will require time, it's a must.  You may vy for your partner's attention on a daily basis or should you really vy for time?  Many factors can come into play that you will have to begin to ask yourself before moving further.  It could be monetary, it could be the number of children involved, were they out of wedlock, does it matter?  Let's go there tonight because let's face it, most relationships going into will be blended.

We hear about sticking together, looking out for one another and embracing the concept of “Black love." Why is this so important to us?  Noted in Essence Magazine.  When it comes to African-Americans, it is mentioned that love is a very complicated and often an evasive concept. Our enslaved ancestors had to fight for love and sneak it in when our captors were not looking. As Bell Hooks says in "Salvation: Black People and Love," post-slavery movements to secure true freedom often made our men feel like they needed to be “fighters, not lovers." They did not always see that it was possible to be tender and romantic with love in the home, at the same time that they were strong and battle-ready when dealing with the enemy outside of it. And while women contributed a great deal of nurturing, they also struggled with balancing the demands of work and love. We have often experienced forced separation from our partners and our families that has made love an even more traumatic concept. Is this what has been tangling us up?  Let's talk!

Why do men say a good woman is hard to find?  Could it be they are looking for a mother, a stay-at-home wife, a woman who is so submissive that she can't think for herself?  You tell me?  What is their definition of a good woman? Is a woman's independence a problem for men that makes her less desirable as a woman?  Could it be that they feel women are not emotionally stable and don't know how to treat a man?  I'm looking forward to hearing from our men tonight!  I mean we all come with baggage so are good men hard to find as well?  Wallk it out!  Let's all be open tonight! WE'RE LOOKING FOR SPONSORS:  If you have written a book, have product or have a business that you would like promotions for, please inbox me at latonya@latonyawashington.com.

We've seen it time and time again on the television screen, heard it on the radio or through the grapevine that a leader or Pastor has gotten caught up in a scandal, their little secrets have come out the closet or they've been caught in a lie. Are our leaders to be held accountable by our "sanctified" standards and should they be obligated to "tell us everything about their past and there thorns in the flesh?  "Preachers of LA"...oh yes, let's talk about it!  We know they're human and as a human, we have flaws, but should a leader show that much transparency? Tonight, we speak with Author and Pastor Sherman Dumas of Kingdom Culture Worship Centre, in Southern California. His impact reaches thousands through outreach, television, and radio broadcast appearances. He established Renaissance School of Ministry, in 2011 to further educate leaders and create a space for exponential growth and development for emerging world changers. Let's Talk about the Secrets, Lies & the Leadership!  amazon.com.  I want to know....IS ANYONE CLEAN?  Host and Founder of Real Talk the Movement, LaTonya WashingtonCo-Host:  Tshombe TshantiConsultant/Clinical Psychologist:  Dr. MonicaChat Room Moderator:  Juacclyn Nikol WE'RE LOOKING FOR SPONSORS!   If you are a business owner, have written a book or have product and would like promotions through Real Talk the Movement, do inbox me at latonya@latonyawashington.com.   We have great things in store!

"Man, I saw him, he spoke to me and I got chills up and down my spine plus my stomach was doing flips!."  What does it mean?   Michael Jackson said in his song..."you give me butterflies"!! What about those people who say "when I first met my man/woman, I wasn't necessarily into them that way."  Do the butterflies come? You tell me?  we know butterflies play a role, but is it an important role?  Does that mean there is chemistry?  What happens when the challenges come?  We know that butterflies are not easy to come by and if they are still there after a lengthy period of time, is must mean something...the question is what is that something? So let's talk: A few questions that will be posed tonight will be: If the butterfly affect is there initially, does that mean it's a spiritual connection?Can butterflies come later if they were not there in the beginning or are we kidding ourselves?If  we share with one another and get to know one another better, does that generate the butterfly affect? You ready?  Get out the popcorn!  WE'RE LOOKING FOR SPONSORS:  If you are an author, speaker, business owner and would like us to be part of your promotions, please inbox me at latonya@latonyawashington.com.

We've all experienced them or have been them ourselves.  Serial daters don't necessarily see things long term, but week to week, or as the term goes... "we're just kicking it for now and I date other people...you okay with that?"   The mentality can be if that one does not perform or give me what I want another one will so "deuces."  OR I like my cookies and ice cream over here, but I like that conversation over there... and I'm liking that one too!   Serial daters are mindful of the options out there and normally are confident though may have other issues. Serial dating or daters is not necessarily a bad thing or are bad people, they're just not ready for committment.  So what is one to do if ready for relationship and come across a serial dater?  Pay attention because it can be a sneak attack!   In this session, we are going to talk about the following: What are the signs of a serial dater?Are most serial daters afraid of comittment?If I want to be a relationship and dating a serial dater, should I hold on with hopes of them changing? Get the notpad and paper out, let's converse!  There are some things you simply need to know.  WE'RE LOOKING FOR SPONSORS!  If you have a business, have a book, are a speaker and want to be part of our promotions weekly, do inbox me for details on sponsorship.  email is latonya@latonyawashington.com

We work 10 to 12 hour days, receive endless e-mails and texts throughout the day and evening.  The you know we are working on stuff over the weekend.  The pressure of doing the work to stay relevant in the career and wanting a lasting relationship or maintaining a relationship can be tough on you and your partner.  So now what is one to do?  Can you have a fabulous career and relationship simultaneously or is that impossible?  A many marriages and/or relationships have fallen apart because one put career over the family.   Real Talk!  It is what it is... women are making drastic moves in career and becomeing entrepreneurs.  Men are moving up the ladder too so where is the compromise?  How do we make it work?  Tonight, we'll talk about it!  Join me, your host, LaTonya Washington; Co-Host Tshombe Tshanti; Doc on Hand, Dr. Monica; Chat Room Moderator, J Nikol!   If you would like to be a sponsor of Real Talk the Movement Radio, do send an e-mail to pr@realtalktm.org.  We will be glad to have you.  If you are an entrepreneur or small business, you will receive advertisement rights throughout the show and with our marketing campaign.