Really Good Conversations

Summary What could change if we stopped hesitating and started more conversations? Nick Bendel challenged himself to have lunch with 500 strangers, transforming from someone who preferred staying home with a book into an advocate for social courage. In this conversation, Nick shares what six years of lunches taught him about rejection, confidence, listening and genuine human connection, and why we do not need to feel ready before we take action. Guest Nick Bendel is an author, speaker and social courage expert. His book, The 500 Lunches Effect: How Social Courage Changes Everything, explores the lessons he learnt from meeting 500 strangers over six years. Overview Nick shares how the project began with a flight from Sydney to Melbourne to meet his very first stranger and why approximately 95 per cent of the people he approached never responded. He explains how repeated rejection changed his relationship with fear, why confidence usually follows action rather than preceding it, and what his lunches revealed about listening, insecurity and the difference between being interesting and being genuinely interested. Nick also reflects on the lunches where the chemistry simply was not there, the difference between a connection and a friendship, and the emotional moment he realised lunch number 500 was complete. Key Outtakes Confidence often comes after taking action, not before it Rejection can become something we learn from rather than avoid Good conversationalists focus on being interested Dominating a conversation can sometimes come from anxiety or insecurity We do not need to turn every connection into a friendship for it to have value   For more information on Nick Bendel:  https://www.nickbendel.com/ The Book: The 500 Lunches Effect How Social Courage Changes Everything https://www.nickbendel.com/book/   Transcript Amy (00:02) Welcome to the Really Good Conversations podcast. Today's guest, Nick Bendel, is an author, speaker and social courage expert who set himself the challenge of having lunch with 500 strangers. Last year, I was lucky enough to be one of them. Nick has now turned the lessons from those conversations into his new book, The 500 Lunches Effect: How Social Courage Changes Everything. Today, we're talking about connection, confidence, curiosity and what can happen when we have the courage to start the conversation. Welcome to the podcast, Nick. Nick (01:07) Thank you for having me, Amy. Amy (01:09) It is so good to reconnect properly. I looked back and realised it was July last year that I became part of your challenge as one of your stranger lunches. It's amazing to see that you've now reached the 500 mark and beyond, and that it has all come to life in a book. We'll talk first about our experience and then get more into your world. Can you remember our lunch, any of our conversation or what your perception was when you met me last year? Nick (01:52) I do remember. You were lunch number 491 out of 500, and we met at a Thai restaurant about 500 metres from where I live. I've been there a few times since and I even remember the table where we were sitting. I remember you telling me about growing up in the UK and then moving to Australia. You were back in the UK during the pandemic, and it was while you were there that you came up with the Really Good Conversations cards. I'm lucky enough to be a proud owner of some of those cards, and I've used them with various friends. You also have a wonderful branding agency. Amy (02:40) I did put you on the spot there, didn't I, just to see what you might say? Even when we had our lunch, I remember being amazed that when I asked you about other people you had met and experiences you had had along the way, you could recount the number of every person you'd spoken to, their name and what they did. I thought it was amazing that you still had all of that knowledge. Was there anything about our lunch that aligned with what you were hoping would come out of this experiment? Nick (03:20) That's an interesting question. There were a few broad things I was hoping to get from the lunches. I'm an introvert. My idea of a good time is staying at home on my own with a cup of tea and a good book, so having these 500 lunches was very out of character. I wanted to improve my social skills, change my mindset, become more comfortable putting myself out there, become more emotionally open and build a great network. Apart from those things, I was very open-minded about how the lunches would develop. I didn't really have any rules other than wanting to meet a diverse range of people of all ages, backgrounds and professions, which I was able to do. When we had lunch, I was simply looking to meet someone different. One thing I noticed from the lunches in general, and from you in particular, was that most of the people I invited never replied, which of course is a no. The minority who did reply tended to be more positive, open-minded and proactive than the average person, and you are that sort of person. There are very few people who would have the social courage to create the conversation cards you created or to start a podcast. I would say the same social courage, positive spirit and open mind that leads a person to do those things is probably what leads them to want to meet a stranger for lunch at a Thai restaurant. Amy (05:13) That's amazing to hear. If you think back to the start of this six-year challenge in 2019, can you recall those first lunches? What were you most nervous about before lunch number one, and what actually happened? Nick (05:34) Lunch number one is an interesting story because I actually borrowed the idea of having lunch with strangers from a woman in Melbourne named Kaylee Chu. She had 100 lunches and published a book about it in 2019. I discovered the book just before she published it, pre-ordered a copy and was really impressed. I was inspired by the positive changes that had come into her life as a result of those 100 lunches, so I thought I should do something similar. I ended up doing 500 rather than 100. I contacted Kaley and said, "I've just read your book. It's amazing, and you've inspired me to have 500 lunches. Would you do me the honour of being my very first lunch? I'm based in Sydney and you're in Melbourne, so if that's okay with you, I'll fly to Melbourne to have lunch with you." To my delight, she sent me a very friendly reply and said she would like to have lunch. I remember that day very well. It was 27 August 2019. I woke up at 5.00 am at my home in Sydney and left at about 5.15 am. I walked roughly two kilometres to the train station, caught the train to the airport, flew to Melbourne and then took a bus into the centre of the city. I walked into the restaurant where she was waiting for me, and we had lunch for about two and a half hours. She was very confident and poised because she'd had a lot of these lunches. I was nervous and wasn't really sure what was going on, but she was very kind and helped me through it. After our wonderful lunch, I caught a bus back to the airport, flew to Sydney, took the train back towards home and then walked the rest of the way. I walked through the door at 9.00 pm. It was a really intense day and one I'll never forget. Amy (07:29) When you describe yourself as an introvert whose idea of a good time is staying home with a cuppa and a book, that sounds like quite a mammoth day. Nick (07:40) That's a very good point. I hadn't thought about it that way, but yes, flying 1,000 kilometres to have lunch with someone is a mammoth day. Amy (07:50) For people listening, it's worth remembering that you genuinely didn't know Kaylee Chu. You travelled across the country to have lunch with a complete stranger, which many people would find incredibly daunting. You must have approached a lot of people to secure those 500 lunches. How did people tend to respond when you invited them? Did you receive more rejections than acceptances? Nick (08:29) Absolutely. Probably 95 per cent of the people rejected me, and almost all of them said no by not replying. In six years, I think only three, four or perhaps five people replied to say no. I don't hold it against the people who weren't interested. You only need one reason to say no. They might have been busy, thought it was some sort of scam, or assumed I was trying to sell them something or convert them to my religion. Who knows? If someone had invited me to lunch before I started this challenge, I would have said no. I was the introvert who liked being at home on his own. There's no way I would have had lunch with a stranger, so I don't hold it against anyone for not wanting to meet. But the overwhelming majority of people who said no did so by not replying. Amy (09:28) What did that teach you about rejection? Did it knock your confidence at first, and did it become easier to deal with over time? Rejection is something a lot of people fear. Nick (09:47) I'm really glad you brought that up because it was one of the most profound lessons I could have learnt and became transformative in my life. It ultimately led to this concept I became so passionate about: social courage. Social courage means doing something when you don't feel ready, or when you feel you might be judged, criticised, mocked or rejected. There are so many things in life that we want to do, but we hesitate because we're worried about the reaction. When I started sending invitations and people didn't reply, I remember telling myself, "Nick, don't take it personally. It's not personal." That helped, but part of you still feels bad, especially when someone seems really interesting and you hope they want to meet you, but they don't reply. That can be deflating. Through being rejected so many times, I won't say I became immune to rejection, but I developed a different relationship with it. I stopped seeing rejection as the enemy and started seeing it as a friend. I now think rejection isn't something to avoid;

Summary How much of our health starts with what's happening in the gut? In this episode, Amy speaks with Lee Holmes, clinical nutritionist, bestselling author and founder of Supercharged Food and Supercharge Your Gut. Lee shares her own health journey, from autoimmune symptoms and fibromyalgia to discovering the role food, gut health and lifestyle can play in healing. They discuss the connection between trauma, chronic stress, the nervous system and inflammation, as well as the food marketing myths we're sold, what to watch out for in supermarkets, and why healing isn't always about having the perfect diet.   Guest Lee Holmes is a clinical nutritionist, yoga and meditation teacher, wholefoods chef, bestselling author and founder of Supercharged Food and Supercharge Your Gut. After experiencing autoimmune symptoms and fibromyalgia, Lee began exploring food as medicine and went on to build a global wellness platform, product range and collection of health-focused books. Her latest book, Eat to Heal, explores the connection between trauma, the nervous system, inflammation and chronic illness.   Overview Lee Holmes joins Amy to discuss her latest book, Eat to Heal, and the bigger conversation behind it: how food, stress, gut health and the nervous system all connect. Lee shares why symptoms such as bloating, tiredness, inflammation and brain fog shouldn't always be dismissed as "normal", and why the body often gives us clues long before we listen. The conversation also dives into misleading supermarket labels, the low-fat myth, ultra-processed "health" foods, children's food marketing, and why Lee would remove protein bars from the health food aisle. Lee also reflects on building Supercharged Food across Australia, the UK and the US, and shares the wisdom she wishes she had known sooner.   Key outtakes Why gut symptoms such as bloating, constipation, diarrhoea and tiredness after eating can be signs your body is trying to communicate with you How chronic stress, trauma and nervous system dysregulation may contribute to inflammation and long-term health issues Why "low fat", "natural", "heart healthy" and "high protein" labels can sometimes be misleading The supermarket section Lee would cull first Why healing isn't about perfection, and why food fear and self-criticism can become part of the problem   Find out more:  Lee Holmes Supercharged Food https://www.superchargedfood.com/ Eat to Heal - https://superchargedfood.myshopify.com/collections/books/products/eat-to-heal-book-by-lee-holmes Supercharge Your Gut - https://www.superchargeyourgut.com/     Transcript  Welcome to the Really Good Conversations podcast. Today I am joined by Lee Holmes, a clinical nutritionist, bestselling author and founder of Supercharged Food and Supercharge Your Gut. After her own experience with autoimmune symptoms and fibromyalgia, Lee built a career around helping people use food, gut health and lifestyle tools to support healing. Her latest book, her 12th, Eat to Heal, explores the connection between trauma, the nervous system and inflammation. It asks whether chronic illness needs to be understood not just through the body, but through our stress responses, our microbiome and our lived experiences.   In this conversation, we'll go beyond the book and speak to Lee about the wellness myths we're sold, the supermarket habits that are keeping us stuck and what she wishes more people understood about healing.   Welcome to the podcast, Lee.   Lee (01:32) Thank you so much for having me. It's great to be here.   Amy (01:36) Thank you so much for your time. I've already been diving into the book and I've been loving it. This particular topic of gut health and inflammation is something I've been keen to learn more about.   For anyone listening who perhaps doesn't know your work, how would you describe what you do today?   Lee (01:57) I'm a qualified clinical nutritionist, as you mentioned. I'm also a yoga and meditation teacher, and I run a business with a product line of 20 different products.   My work sits across the holistic side of health and wellness. I love talking to people about the gut and food as medicine. How do you use food as a healing instrument in your life? That's the basis of it. My work cuts across clinical nutrition, gut health, the brain and the nervous system.   Amy (02:32) Brilliant. There was a quote in the book that jumped out at me. You said your kitchen is your best form of medicine, without needing a prescription. This is now your 12th book, so where did this journey begin for you? This wasn't your previous career.   Lee (02:53) No, it wasn't. Previously, I worked at the ABC in Sydney. I was in the music department, working with The Wiggles and Bananas in Pyjamas, helping to make their albums and videos. I worked in the children's music department, which I really loved.   During that time, I was a single mum and I became really sick. I was going in and out of hospital. At the beginning, I wasn't listening to my body. I kept working and pushing myself, but my symptoms were getting worse. My hair was starting to fall out, I had hives all over my body, I was achy, I was exhausted and I lost a lot of weight.   Eventually, when the symptoms were really screaming at me, I went through what I found to be a very complex medical system. I was trying to get answers and going from doctor to doctor to figure out what was wrong. I had lots of needles, scans and tests, and it took a long time. Eventually, I was diagnosed with a non-specific autoimmune problem and fibromyalgia, which is where you feel really tired and achy.   I was put on a combination of medications, and those medications also came with side effects. It became hard to differentiate between the symptoms of what was going on and the side effects of the medication I was taking.   I spoke to my doctor and said, "Do you think this has anything to do with my diet or my gut?" I had noticed that when I ate certain things, my symptoms would really flare up. They said, "No, nothing to do with what you're eating. It has no relevance." I asked if I could change my diet and give it a go, and they said, "Yes, certainly. It won't make a difference, but you can try."   I had to leave work, which was my dream job, so I was really sad about that. But after coming in and out of hospital, I went back into my kitchen and started experimenting at home.   For some reason, I knew my tummy needed gentle foods. When I was working full-time as a single parent, I had been putting ready meals in the microwave, not knowing I was reacting to MSG, preservatives and other ingredients in those meals.   I went back to basics and started to discover that some of the things I was eating were making my symptoms worse. I changed my diet and started eating very real, gentle, simple foods. I documented it on a blog called superchargedfood.com.   From there, I started writing, and writing about it really helped me. Social media had just started, so I began writing little blogs and putting them on Facebook.   It was amazing because people from all over the world would contact me and say, "That happened to me. I was put on steroids. I blew up like the Michelin Man. I had the same symptoms as you. Then I changed my diet, my tummy got better, the hives stopped and my hair started to grow back."   It was really interesting. From there, I started to write my first book. That's how it all started and how I got into health and wellness.   Amy (06:22) Wow. It makes me think that many of us are brought up to believe you go to the doctor and the doctor has the answers. Different generations can have different views on this. My own parents in the UK might say, "I'll go to the doctor for a prescription," and I'll ask, "Have you considered other things, like diet?"   As humans, we've been trained to want the quick fix. In some health systems, it can become, "Go and get some medication and that will fix it." But often, for people, that can be masking something deeper.   Lee (07:02) Yes, I think it can. When I started looking into food and ingredients, I realised there were certain foods that gave me similar relief from symptoms to the medications I had been given.   For example, things like curcumin and turmeric. The curcumin within turmeric is powerfully anti-inflammatory, and it helped a lot of the inflammation in my body without all the side effects from the medication.   Then I learnt about garlic. I was exploring different ingredients and how garlic is antiviral and antibacterial. Instead of relying only on the antibiotics that were affecting my gut microbiome, I started to lean more into real foods. They really are quite powerful, and they did help.   Obviously, I'm not against medication. If you need medication, I'm not against it. But for this chronic condition, I wanted to find things I could use that felt less damaging in the long run. That's how I looked at it.   Amy (08:06) Your latest book, Eat to Heal, explores the connection between trauma, the nervous system and inflammation. In simple terms, what is that connection?   Lee (08:18) There is a connection. I didn't learn this at the beginning. I went through years of practising clinical nutrition and studying to become a qualified clinical nutritionist. Over time, I saw more and more patients in my clinic and started to put together the link between trauma, chronic stress and the body.   Trauma and chronic stress are not just emotional experiences. They can affect the body and lead to inflammation through a rise in cortisol, blood sugar dysregulation and changes in the gut. Chronic stress can affect the gut lining, the gut microbiome and the vagus nerve, which is part of the communication between the gut and the brain.   These things work together and can keep your nervous system in fight or flight. You could take the best supplements in the world and eat the best food in the world, but in clinic we were noticing that people with nervous

Summary What does it really take to stop making excuses and become someone you can trust? This conversation isn't just about blindness, sport or breaking records. Matt Formston AM joins Amy to explore identity, trust, accountability and what it really takes to stop making excuses and become someone you can trust. Guest Matt Formston AM is a world champion surfer, world champion cyclist, Paralympian, Guinness World Record holder, business leader, keynote speaker, husband and father of three. Overview Matt Formston AM has built an extraordinary life across elite sport, business and leadership. Diagnosed with macular dystrophy at the age of five, Matt was told he would lose most of his sight and face a life of limitation. Instead, he went on to become a world champion athlete, business leader and author. In this conversation, Amy and Matt explore why blindness was never his biggest fight, how bullying and anger shaped his early years, and what it took to rebuild himself through trust, accountability and what Matt calls his hard standards. They discuss the difference between genuine limitations and inherited excuses, why "standards without consequences are just wishes", and how self-trust is built one small promise at a time. Key outtakes Why blindness can be deeply isolating, and what people often misunderstand about it The difference between genuine limitations and inherited excuses How Matt's parents helped shape his "Why Not?" mindset Why standards, consistency and time are essential to building trust How one small non-negotiable helped Matt rebuild self-trust   For more information:  Matt Formston https://www.mattformston.com/ Pre-order the book 'Why not?' https://www.mattformston.com/books/why-not-pre-sale   Transcript  Amy: Welcome to the Really Good Conversations Podcast. Today I am joined by Matt Formston. Matt is a world champion surfer, world champion cyclist, Paralympian, Guinness World Record holder, business leader, keynote speaker, husband and father of three. At the age of five, Matt was diagnosed with macular dystrophy and told he would lose most of his sight. He now has less than three per cent peripheral vision and no central vision, but has gone on to build an extraordinary life across elite sport, business and leadership. His story is featured in the Netflix documentary The Blind Sea, and his new book Why Not? explores what he calls his eight Hard Standards: the principles that helped him rebuild his life from the inside out. This conversation isn't just about blindness, sport or breaking records. It's about identity, trust, accountability and what it really takes to stop making excuses and become someone you can trust. Welcome to the podcast, Matt. Matt: Thank you, Amy. That was a bit of a mouthful, so I appreciate you getting through all that. Amy: There is certainly a lot to include in your bio, across life, work and sport, so thank you for joining me. People hear about your achievements, the Guinness World Record and the Netflix documentary, but in your book Why Not? you have the opening line: "Blindness was never my biggest fight." So we'll start there. What was? Matt: People often assume that because I'm blind, that is my biggest challenge in life. And there can be an excuse for that. But actually, I went through school and got bullied a lot. Kids would say, "How many fingers am I holding up?" I was one of the first kids in Australia to have a laptop, and I'd write stuff on my laptop, walk away, come back, and they'd highlight everything and delete all my work. It was endless bullying. It escalated to the point where, if I was running after someone, they'd run under a tree branch and duck, and I wouldn't see it, so I'd run straight into it. It was full on. Because of all that, I found that the way to resolve bullying was through physical altercation. If someone bullied me, I would end up fighting them. I learnt that if I hurt someone, they would not bully me again. So I had this learned behaviour that if you fight someone, you get an outcome. Talking never got an outcome. The teachers would say, "It's okay, Matt, they only just did this," because they didn't see the mountain of little things that built up to the absolute destruction of my psychology. I took that behaviour out of school and into early adulthood. I would get into pub fights. I played elite sport through school: representative rugby league, ice hockey, full-contact sports. Against all the odds as a blind kid, I played these sports, but then I lost sport and I basically lost my identity. I went into this spiral. I had bad relationships with women. I had bad behaviour. So my biggest challenge was getting out of that learned behaviour and thinking the whole world was out to get me. That was my biggest challenge: getting my way out of that bad behaviour and getting back to being the kid who was able to be selected in rugby league, rugby union and ice hockey over sighted kids because he put the hard work in. Amy: Gosh. So many of us listening cannot even relate to that experience. School can be hard enough, never mind with a disability and the bullying as well. What do you think most people misunderstand about blindness? Matt: There are so many things, but one thing I would say is that blindness is a very isolating disability. For example, if you go into a pub environment and it's loud, most sighted people start lip-reading without realising they're doing it. If you go into a loud environment one day, put your hand over your mouth and try to communicate with your friends. You'll realise how much you're using your eyes to lip-read. I'm not able to use that skill, so I go into a pub environment and I'm isolated. I'm there by myself. At school, if my mates left the classroom and the teacher said, "Matt, can you just stay back for a bit to make sure you understood the lesson?", they were actually isolating me. I would never find my friends at lunch and I'd spend lunch by myself. Blindness creates a lot of isolation. Obviously, you can't drive, so you're not able to get to places. It really creates a lot of isolation. The other thing I'd say is to do with any sensory disability. People say, "When you lose one sense, your others get stronger." I'm sure you've heard that phrase. Amy: I have, yes. Matt: Because of the amount of times I've told my story now, in interviews and media, I've worked out my take on it. I've spoken to doctors about this and I believe it's accurate. It's not that the sense gets better; it's that your ability to capture the data gets better. You live in a visual world where most of the data you trust, you see with your eyes. That data is supported by things you hear, smell and sense in other ways. I'm not able to trust my eyes, so I don't trust that data. I use data from my ears, for example. I can hear in a courtyard, or I can hear things that will tell me where a certain type of food is. Then I can use my nose to smell and verify that that's what it is. I can smell a chemist. The reason I know my hearing definitely isn't better is because I'm a husband, and I'll always not hear my wife when she asks me to unpack the dishwasher. Amy: I think that's a common husband trait. Matt: Exactly. But it's not about the hearing. It's more about the data not being captured. So the misconception is that when you lose one sense, the others get better. I don't think they do. You just get better at capturing data from those other senses. Amy: That makes a lot of sense. You're tuning into it more and verifying if that's a trustworthy source or not. You were told from a young age that there were things you wouldn't be able to do. How did you learn the difference between a genuine limitation and an inherited excuse? Matt: This is where I have to give credit to my parents. At the age of five, my parents were told at Sydney Eye Hospital by a professor, one of the heads of ophthalmology in Australia, that I was going to go blind. I had full vision until I was five, we believe. They were basically told that the son they had all these aspirations for — getting married, having a job, playing sport — that was all gone. He won't be able to play sport. He won't really get an education. He'll never get a good job. He won't have many friends in life. That was the prognosis. My parents believed the diagnosis: yes, he is going to go blind. But they didn't believe the prognosis. They never told me all that. They protected me from that information. When discrimination happened behind the scenes with my parents, they didn't tell me, "We've been told you can't do this." They just said, "Get on with it. Go and do this." They would deal with the "you're not welcome" conversation until they got to, "Okay, we'll let him have a crack." In the first rugby league team I played on, parents were saying, "You're bad parents for putting your child with a disability in harm's way," rather than, "You're great parents for giving him an opportunity." The other part is that we were brought up in a household where we weren't allowed to use the word "can't". That's where the name of my book, Why Not?, comes from. A lot of people say, "My dad said that too — there's no such thing as can't." But my dad didn't stop there. He would say, "Why not?" It was the worst idea you could ever have to say, "I can't do my homework," or "I can't do something," to my dad, because he would say, "Why not?" And he would keep asking. "Explain more. Explain more." As you start explaining your "can't", you actually start explaining the solution. Then he'd say, "Right, so it's not a 'can't' problem. It's an 'I'm not able to do this yet' problem, or 'I don't have this capacity yet', or 'I need X to help me get to this.'" Then he'd say, "Okay, you've now found what you need to do, so go and do it." Amy: That is amazing. Credit to your parents, because what the medical professionals were saying was a limiting prognosis. That can be such a big problem for people who go through some sort of

What is one piece of wisdom you want to pass on to future generations? In this special compilation episode, Amy shares how a family loss helped inspire Really Good Conversations and why it is so important to ask meaningful questions while we still have the opportunity. Hear the varied responses from this year's podcast guests as they reflect on the lessons, values and advice they hope future generations will carry forward. It may leave you considering the wisdom you have received, the stories you still want to hear and the answer you would give yourself. Key takeaways: Why meaningful questions can unlock stories that may otherwise go untold The importance of learning from people across different generations Wisdom and life lessons from this year's podcast guests Why we should not wait to ask those closest to us about their experiences A question to consider and share with your own friends and family   Guests include:  Maz Farrelly Isiah McKimmie Jodie Whelan and Jodie de Vries Andrew Sloan Phillip di Bella  Maku Fenaroli  Kylee Dennis  Dara Simkin Nova Eden   Trancript:  Amy Welcome to the Really Good Conversations podcast. Today, I'm going to invite you to consider one question: What is one piece of wisdom you want to pass on to future generations? It is a question from our first edition pack of Really Good Conversations cards, and one I have been asking all of our podcast guests this year. It has been fascinating to hear the different answers people have shared, so in this special compilation episode, I'm bringing those responses together. This is a shorter episode, but it is centred around a question that has been on my mind quite a lot recently. I have seen a growing amount of content online, particularly on social media, where people stop strangers in the street and ask them questions such as what advice they would give to their younger selves, what they would do differently if they were in their twenties again, or whether they have any regrets. It is amazing to hear the responses from people of different ages, backgrounds and walks of life. Seeing these conversations has reminded me why we started Really Good Conversations in the first place. Many of you will already know our story, but for those who do not, the idea began after Alex's grandad passed away in 2019. He was in his nineties, from the north of England, lived in Leeds and had served during the war. After he passed away, we found ourselves talking about how, when older generations are no longer with us, we lose the opportunity to ask them questions, hear their stories and learn from their experiences. For Alex in particular, it raised the question of how much he had ever really asked his grandad. It made us realise how easily we can move through life without having these deeper conversations with our friends and families. At different stages of life, we naturally have different priorities. When you are a teenager, you often want to spend most of your time with your friends rather than your parents or grandparents. Then, perhaps, you go to university, move away, travel or begin meeting people from different parts of the world. We were fortunate enough to travel and meet people from all sorts of places. It was incredible to hear their stories and learn about their lives. But sometimes, while we are busy learning about new people, we do not always take the opportunity to hear the stories of those closest to us. My great-grandad started our family business in 1920, and I remember wondering what it must have been like to start a business at that time compared with today. Why did he start it? What was he hoping to achieve? I asked my dad, who has been involved in the business himself since he was ten years old, whether he had ever asked his grandad those questions. He said no. I think that is often the case. These conversations do not always arise naturally. Sometimes, we need to make a conscious effort to ask. That is why I wanted to share this episode now, in the middle of the year, and bring together the wisdom our guests have shared so far. It is clearly a topic that is resonating with a lot of people, and I would encourage you to ask this question of the older people in your own family. But I would also invite you to consider your own answer. What wisdom would you want to pass on? Right now, we are in what is sometimes called the sandwich generation, with young children on one side and ageing parents on the other. The reality is that we can learn from every generation around us, from young children through to those who have lived long and varied lives. I hope you enjoy hearing how our guests answered this question, and I would love to know what your answer would be too.

Summary What's disappearing from childhood & why children need an analogue childhood in a digital world In this episode, Amy speaks with Nova Eden from One Collective Power and the Smartphone Free Childhood movement about how smartphones, social media, iPads, EdTech and AI are reshaping modern childhood. They explore what children may be losing to screens, from boredom and play to imagination, attention and real-world connection, and share practical ways families can build healthier digital habits at home.   Guest Nova Eden is a leadership and systems change advocate, founder of One Collective Power, and a campaigner with the Smartphone Free Childhood movement. Her work focuses on children's wellbeing, digital habits, smartphone-free schools and parenting in the digital age. Nova works with parents, schools, organisations and policymakers to help create healthier relationships with technology, and has presented her work in Parliament as part of the growing conversation around children, smartphones, social media and digital wellbeing. Overview Smartphones, social media and digital devices are now woven into childhood, family life and education. But did we move too quickly? In this conversation, Amy and Nova Eden explore the impact of screens on children's wellbeing, development, attention and relationships. Nova shares the personal moment that led her into this work, why she believes children are living through a global digital experiment, and how parents, schools and policymakers can start to rethink the role technology plays in modern childhood. The conversation covers smartphone-free schools, EdTech, early years screen use, social media safety, dopamine, sleep, boredom, analogue childhood and the emerging risks of AI. It is a thoughtful and practical discussion for parents, educators and anyone interested in what children need to thrive in the digital age.   Key Outtakes • Why children are living through a digital experiment • What screens are replacing in childhood • Why boredom, play and imagination still matter • Why "digital literacy" isn't the same as digital wellbeing • Simple ways families can build healthier screen habits • Why AI may change the conversation again More Information Collective Power https://onecollectivepower.co.uk/ Smartphone Free Childhood https://www.smartphonefreechildhood.org/   Transcript  Amy Welcome to the Really Good Conversations podcast. Today, I am joined by Nova Eden, who has been at the centre of one of the biggest conversations facing parents right now: children, technology and modern childhood. Through her work with One Collective Power and the Smartphone Free Childhood movement, Nova has been working with parents, schools and policymakers to rethink how and when children engage with smartphones, social media and digital life. This isn't just about screen time. It's about what kind of childhood we're designing and what role we as adults, parents and educators need to play in that. Welcome to the podcast, Nova. Nova Thank you so much, Amy. It's lovely to be here this morning. Amy Even before we've hit record, we have already been talking about so many elements of this. It's been a busy year in the UK as well with this topic of conversation around social media, phones and bans. But what I first wanted to ask you was how you got into this space of digital awareness, digital wellness, education, and the use of devices for children and in education. Nova I've always worked with children, and my speciality has been children's mental health and wellbeing. A few years ago, my eldest son came to me and said, "Mum, everyone's getting a smartphone. I'm the only one without a phone." Of course, like every parent, I felt that pressure to conform to the social norm of giving my son a smartphone. I was worried about him being socially isolated during that crucial stage of his development. So I gave in to the peer pressure and realised very quickly I had made a mistake, because I saw him change. I saw that he didn't want to play anymore. All he wanted to do was look at his phone. Around the same time, I was having conversations with parents and friends, and everybody kept saying, "These phones and kids, it's such a nightmare." I started hearing all these horror stories about this child sending this naked picture or that child being bullied. I started hearing one too many awful stories about what was happening with phones, with kids, online. It was around the time when I read an article about a young girl called Molly Russell, who sadly and tragically took her own life because she was pushed harmful content into her newsfeed. So I realised that I wanted to do something about it and I really wanted to get involved. It was just when the Smartphone Free Childhood campaign first took off. I was very aware that I wanted to make different decisions with my younger children, and I wanted to help other parents really understand what they were getting themselves in for. Years ago, when I first started campaigning, there wasn't the awareness that there is today. This wasn't a big national conversation. So I was very passionate that I wanted to protect other parents and other children, and it snowballed. It became a big national campaign very quickly with Smartphone Free Childhood. It became a big conversation. I started working with head teachers and schools, and really trying to raise awareness. I remember people telling me back then, "Nothing's going to change." I'm delighted to say they were wrong. Things have changed. I've presented my work in Parliament, in Scottish Parliament and with the Department for Education. People really are listening. We now have legislation to make all schools smartphone-free here in the UK, and we are working towards raising the age for social media for under-16s, which is a fantastic step. There's still a lot of work to do, but we are definitely moving in the right direction. Amy Fantastic. Do you feel it is a bit like we've been living through, and still are in, a social experiment with all of this? Perhaps at the beginning, we adopted social media and phones before anyone really understood the consequences. Nova Absolutely. Our children and Gen Z are living through an experiment. I think it's time for us to advocate that our children are not the test subjects anymore. We now know the harm that's being done to children via smartphones, social media and excessive screen time. It's time for meaningful, accelerated change. We need to start challenging these norms that are no longer serving our children, and we need to make real behaviour change. We need education. We need policymakers to step up and implement legislation. Parents are struggling and children are suffering, and this can't continue. I think that not only is this now a big national conversation, it is a global movement. Amy Absolutely. As you know, I'm sitting here in Australia, originally from the UK. Australia went ahead with the social media ban. I think the jury is still out on the effectiveness of these things because, as we've touched on before, children are tech savvy these days and they sometimes find ways around these mechanics. But when we talk about screen time, is it no longer actually just about screen time, but also what else these children are missing out on in their childhood? Nova Yes, that's exactly right. I think there has been some negative press about what Australia is doing not working. But actually, we do know that it's working. It's just going to take a long time to see the results. We know that five million children have come off social media. We know that book sales have increased, which is brilliant and exactly what we want. Of course, the tech companies are making it very easy for these children to get around it. But what we really need to look at is not just the fact that these children are having excessive screen time, but what they're missing out on. We know they are no longer outside as much as they used to be. They're not socialising face to face as much as they used to be. It's the interactions and healthy activities that they need at this critical stage in their development. I think if we are going to tackle screen time in our teenagers, we need to look at what's happening in the early years, because digital wellness and healthier digital habits need to start in those early years. We've just had some recent government guidelines come out in the UK where they are saying that under-two-year-olds shouldn't have screen time, which I completely agree with. As little screen time as possible for under-fives, an hour a day, is what we should be aiming for. But I think it should be more than that. I think we should be advocating for no iPads for under-fives. We now know that excessive interactive screen time in the early years is causing developmental delays and speech and language delays. We know that children who have excessive screen time in the early years often find it more difficult to regulate their emotions. It's about what they're missing, because if a child has a choice between a toy and a screen, the screen will always win. What they need at that crucial stage in their development is free play, time, space, creativity and imagination. That's what we're really lacking. There's been a sharp rise in children going to school not being able to read, and not having basic life skills. So we need to raise awareness. I think everybody knows about smartphones and social media now, but we need to really look at iPads. If Steve Jobs, who was instrumental in creating iPads, didn't give them to his own children, we need to reconsider why we are handing out iPads to our young children. Amy Absolutely. That totally hits a nerve when you hear that about Steve Jobs. Everything you're saying resonates because we've got a four-and-a-half-year-old and, in his life, we had at times succumbed to him having the phone here or there and watching things. At times, you could then see that