Really Useful Conversations

October hosts both World Mental Health Day and Menopause Awareness Day and is indeed Menopause Awareness Month. The theme this year is Lifestyle Medicine and so I am focussing in this podcast episode on the impact that menopause can have on our mental health, and sharing a basic understanding of what is going on that is causing the low mood, anxiety, brain fog and other cognitive and mental health challenges that some women experience during perimenopause.  During the hormonal transition, our brain is doing it's best to function without the steady hormonal chemistry that it is used to working with, the fluctuation of hormones during this chapter seems to be the issue - the rise and fall that changes day by day - and not forgetting that those hormones do not work in isolation but impact on other hormones and the work that they do too.  I've tried to explain what is happening in a straightforward way, as a midlife woman who has experienced this transition, and as someone who has done lots of research and learning, but not as a medical professional might. I think we need to understand what is happening and why that is the case, but we don't need a science heavy biology lesson that confuses us further, so I've tried to keep it simple and easy to understand. Over the next few weeks I am going to be looking at the 6 Lifestyle Levers that we can all tweak and learn more for ourselves how that lifestyle medicine can help, whether you are taking HRT or not.  I'm also offering a free online Masterclass that you are welcome to register for too - details can be found on the website Hope this helps!

In the last episode, recorded for World Suicide Prevention Day, I spoke specifically about the risk of suicidal thoughts and behaviours for midlife women, given the statistics show that the most female deaths by suicide tend to occur in midlife. I promised that I would follow up to talk about how when navigating perimenopause we might be at more risk and more importantly, what we might do to keep ourselves safe.  As a qualified suicide intervention tutor I am aware of evidence based research which shows protective factors that can help - basically the things we can do for ourselves, and others, to help keep them safe from the Edge of Enough. Life happens and events can cause us to wobble, we probably cannot do a lot about that, but there are things that we CAN do to help us stay safe, and I am talking about them in this episode. Navigating this chapter of menopause with low mood, anxiety and depression can be challenging, and whilst many people talk about the physical symptoms that might affect us, fewer are aware of the potential impact to our mental health during the hormonal shift.  I hope you find this episode useful and maybe you will join my free Masterclass in October where I focus on lifestyle medicine for improving mental health during menopause - it's so important that we talk about these issues so that women know how to help themselves if things are getting a bit much.  Take good care!

This week is World Suicide Prevention Day and hopefully there will be lots of media coverage in encouraging a "Change in the Narrative" - to make conversations about this issue more commonplace. This in turn helps to reduce the stigma and smash the silence and makes it easier for people to ask for help.  You may have seen media coverage in recent times talking about the high number of male suicide deaths and men's mental health in general, which is definitely something that needs attention, but we have not seen anywhere near the same attention given to midlife women and the challenges that they might be silently struggling with during midlife; the chapter of peri menopause, becoming the sandwich generation, caring for ageing parents and other elders, whilst still keeping an eye on adult children and even grandchildren.  Once you stop and look at the research you will see some shocking statistics - indeed the majority of deaths by suicide are male, but what about the significant number of suicide attempts made by women all over the world? Do attempts not matter so much? Should we not be paying as much attention to PREVENTION for everyone seeing as suicide does not discriminate?  In this episode I am exploring the intersectionality of factors for midlife women that might explain the statistics behind sucide thoughts and attempts in midlife. I hope you will find it thought provoking and informative and that through conversations like this learn that we can ALL  make a difference - for a person in crisis as well as for ourselves as women.

*This episode talks about suicide and I hope will be useful to women, their friends, family, support network AND their employer* The coronor confirmed that the lady had indeed taken her own life, following perimenopause then menopause causing her mental health condition to have worsened - and tragically this situation is more common than you might think.  Often people think of menopause symptoms as just the hot flushes or night sweats when actually more women find the cognitive impact far more debilitating and as many as 1 in 10 women will have suicidal thoughts during this transition.  Sadly women often feel isolated, alone, misunderstood, misdiagnosed and even mistreated - this can worsen their situation and significantly impact an already troubled mind - we MUST get this message out there - you are not alone, you are not being dramatic, you are NOT making it up and you are NOT alone.  Donna Mann took her own life and this tragic loss should be prompting us all to get better informed, better educated, more aware and able to have conversations that matter - those conversations could be the difference between life and death.  Please do share this episode with friends, colleagues, HR professionals so that women like Donna get the help they need, before it is too late.  For more details visit my website and again please do with anyone else who might need it.

Yesterday I received the devastating news of the loss of an incredible woman - strong, confident, bold, kind, wise, caring and funny as heck! I thought she was invincible and when she got her cancer diagnosis I would have bet my house on her surviving.  Yesterday made me realise that tomorrow is not guaranteed. I know we say it all the time that life is too short but sometimes when you lose someone who really was so amazing, you realise that there is a sad truth in that. Today's episode is not polished or scripted or offering downloads for learning - it's from the heart and a reminder that we need to stop putting things off, quit losing time in perfectionism, being paralysed by not good enough, waiting for the perfect moment and we just need to make space.  I'm not being flippant, I have two ageing parents and my carenting responsibilities are heavy and very real, but I need to stop and look for even the tiniest glimmer of space for me to top up my cup too.  This episode is a tribute the the force that was an incredible influence in my life and she listened to my podcast too so I hope she hears this, wherever she has landed now.  For all midlife women who are doing a LOT and struggling with the juggle, and in memory of Anne-Marie, here's your reminder xxx

Values - those things that we all have, often no idea where they came from, but tend to reflect the things that matter most to us. Are you living in alignment with yours? We all have a little internal book of rules - rules that we have been creating for ourselves since we were first born and my little book will be different to yours. Those rules then guide our lives, our decisions and the people that we choose to be around - these are our values - and although they might change over time, they always matter.  If we are operating in a way that is not aligned with these values, we can feel frustrated, angry, annoyed or even sense a little internal tension, perhaps causing anxiety, and for true wellbeing we are best working in places, living with people, spending time doing things where our values are indeed aligned. Like a little internal GPS system that helps point the way and reroute when the path feels wrong for us. Often as midlife women we are so busy with juggling all the stuff that we might not hear our values whispering - perhaps we are doing a job because the hours "fit around the family" or we are putting other people's preferences first - "anything for a quiet life" - or we might even find ourselves in relationships that are just not right for us, but we feel unable to walk away?  This week's episode is all about values and why they matter and what can happen to us if we are not listeing to them when they call out to us.  Let me know if this episode resonates with you and don't forget to share with anyone else who you think might value from this little reminder?

Having recently been nominated in the Merseyside Women of the Year awards I suddenly found my little inner critic throwing a party - as I read through the bio's of the other women who are also finalists, I could hear that little voice getting louder - "Who are you to be included in that? Look at what she has done! Oh she is amazing! Achieved so much more than you!" and before I knew it, the joy had dissolved into doubt and shame ... who am I indeed? I don't think it is unusual for midlife women to dip into comparing themselves unfavourably and many on the Midlife Reboot programme often talk, with envy, about their social group, colleagues and family who have "done so much better than me" ... so I thought an episode where we have a Really Useful Conversation about the comparison trap would be a good idea!  Other people's brilliance does not dim ours, and there is space for us all to shine - but how do I convince that little inner critic to STFU and allow me to enjoy the joy that such a prestigious nomination had brought?  In this episode we will talk about the comparison trap, why we fall into it, and more importantly how to get ourselves back out again - comparison cannot be allowed to continuously steal our joy ladies!  Oh, and you can vote for me every day until 1st June if you would like to? I'd LOVE your support! Many thanks x

This week in the UK is Mental Health Awareness Week and the theme this year is "Community" and in this episode I am talking specifically about the importance of community for those of us who are midlife women. A chapter in our lives when hormones are shifting, which can indeed negatively impact our mental health, but often also a very busy chapter with lots of juggling of priorities, perhaps older children or grandchildren needing us, or as my world caring for ageing parents has become a new challenge, so it is no surprise that the number of women diagnosed with anxiety, depression and low mood increases during this life stage - and sadly the number of deaths by suicide too. However, I don't think it is ALL about our hormones, and in this episode we talk about what else is shifting and changing and potentially causing us to feel less than great - and how community, amongst other factors, can really help. If you enjoy this episode, please do feel free to share with others who might also benefit, and if you are a midlife woman looking for a Midlife Reboot - ready to ditch the quick fix surface deep solutions and choose to invest your limited time and energy in RADICAL self-care, why not pop your name on the wait list for the next opening?  Either way up, hope you enjoy this episode, which is very much dedicated to my Tribe who kept me upright and mobile through the divorce that kept on giving!  A x

Back in February I hosted "Actually, she can!" - which was a fantastic day of personal growth and professional development, by women, for women, fundraising for future female talent in Halton Borough and it was an absolutely amazing day!  With over 200 women in the audience and 12 professional speakers, authors and coaches taking to the stage and hosting workshops, sharing insights and expertise that had the audience scribbling notes furiously and nodding as they recognised their own traits, laughing as we talked about the humourous side of habits and cheering as we announced the incredible amount we raised that day for young girls locally.  But I feel there was a missing thread. Whilst encouraging women to set goals with soul, to overcome imposter syndrome, to smash their own ceiling, release their inner rebel through good girl deconditioning, we also needed to let them know to take care of their wellbeing too. Not from a candles and sandals perspective, but deep down radical self-care, the stuff that leads to meaningful change.  Tune into this episode to find out more about those Missing Threads and learn about the Midlife Reboot on offer!

Before Christmas I really enjoyed chatting to another one of our guest speakers, Valerie J Ritchie, who is hosting a workshop for us at Actually, she can! in February to help people harness their inner strengths and turn challenges into opportunities.  Valerie is a midlife empowerment coach, an advocate for the crone goddess, and helps women to step into the wise, powerful, authentic self so that they can live life to the full.  In our conversation she talks about us embracing who we are, playing to our natural strengths, and encourages us to be authentic - You do You - and to not take our strengths for granted and just brush them off but to utilise them to their fullest and make the most of them. Valerie's workshop at Actually! next month will be highly interactive, helping us to explore practical strategies to overcome both personal and professional challenges with resilience and confidence and create an actionable plan that we can take away to use in our day to day lives. Maybe you are questionning your own worth, maybe you are not sure where your strengths lie, or perhaps you are ready to step out of your comfort zone - Valerie's session will be perfect for you! If you have not already got your ticket for Actually! it's time to get your act together or you are really going to regret it! We have 13 fabulous professional speakers, authors and coaches coming together to offer a real personal development day for women, by women, and it's going to be a cracker!  More details about all our speakers and tickets are available at so take a moment to enjoy my conversation here with Valerie and then go grab your ticket QUICK!

Meeting up with someone that you instantly have a connection with and knowing they share your values in wanting to make a positive difference is not something that happens every day and so when Michelle Atkinson, HRD from Suttons International and I chatted about Actually, she can! and the difference we want to make in our local community, I could see she was as enthused and keen to make that difference too!  We are very grateful indeed to Suttons for agreeing to be our main event sponsor for Actually, she can! and even MORE impressed by their attitude and desire for positive change, when they asked us to introduce them to people in Halton Borough where they really can make a difference. Since that meeting they have supported local children who otherwise would have woken up to no presents on Christmas Day and are engaging with Halton People into Jobs to see how as an employer in the Borough, they can offer work experience, apprenticeships, mentoring and even career opportunities to young people.  We could not be happier to have found a large corporate business to partner with, working locally as part of a huge global network, and in this episode you will get to hear what is was about the project that captured Michelle's attention and why it fits so beautifully with the culture and ethos of this business that prides itself on supporting employee growth, driving engagement and creating opportunties for career progression. Thank you to everyone at Suttons for supporting us and for wanting to make a difference too - we really appreciate you!

Ex corporate girl Susie Sprigg believes that connection, communication and conversation are critical to all of us, and that we can build relationships with cheerleaders and people who will check in on us too, all through the power of networking. Networking is not just for people who run a business looking to sell their services to others, but also for people who work within an organisation who might need to build their network for career progression and promotion prospects. Building a strong network, especially as a woman, is so important and Susie is going to share with us the do's and do not's of networking in the workshop she is running at Actually, she can! on 27th February in Runcorn.  Debunking the myths of networking and making sure we create the impression we want to is what her workshop is all about and if you listen in to this episode you will get a sense of Susie's down to earth, honest and authentic approach, allowing you to decide whether you will choose her workhshop from the range that are being offered as part of our amazing event.  If you have not got your ticket yet, please hurry as we have sold more than 65% and I would hate you to miss out!  For more details about all of our speakers and what to expect please take a look at our simple website actuallyshecan.co.uk - the link to then buy tickets is available from there too.

A favourite guest on the podcast Michelle Minnikin joins me again this week but to talk this time about her contribution at Actually, she can!  There is no way we could have organised a day of personal growth and professional development for women, by women without including the powerhouse that is Ms Minnikin!  A professional speaker, author of the fabulous "Good Girl Deprogramming" and workshop facilitator, Michelle helps women to break free from the constraints of the conditioning that girls grow up with and encourages them to unleash the rebel within, and I am delighted that she agreed to travel to Runcorn for our event on 27th February where she will address the conference AND run a workshop for those who want a deeper understanding of the work we good girls need to now do in order to live an authentic, rebelloious life!  Have a listen to our conversation and then make sure you have booked your ticket to be in the room with us in February - it is going to be an amazing day with Michelle offering her expertise along with another 12 speakers sharing insights and inspiration. Tickets are availble while they last from actuallyshecan.co.uk and you need to RUN don't walk and grab yours NOW!

Kerry Lockyer joins me this week to talk about her contribution to Actually, she can! on 27th February in Runcorn and it is a really useful conversation well worth listening to! I managed to catch up with her before Christmas when she was busy running around the country facilitating sessions to help leaders build awesome teams.  Her expertise lies in helping people understand themselves AND each other at a much deeper level using a range of behavioural tools, with over 25 years experience in Learning & Development, she is an accomplished trainer, consultant and coach as well as an amazing TEDx Speaker.  People development is the stuff that lights her fire and at Actually, she can! she will be offering everyone an incredible opportunity for greater self-awareness AND a chance to complete one of the behavioural tools that she uses in her consultancy practice. Thanks to the generous folk at Clarity 4D, everyone who attends will have chance to complete a personal profile, completely free of charge, and Kerry will be delivering two sessions that will bring that learning to life both on the main stage and in a smaller, more intimate workshop setting. This value alone more than covers the cost of the ticket to attend so we do hope you will support our charity fundraising efforts by coming along to hear more from Kerry, to do your own Clarity 4D profile, and to generally invest in your own personal effectiveness to kickstart 2025. Tickets are available from actuallyshecan.co.uk for general admission as well as the Pay it Forward tickets we are offering to make the event as inclusive as possible. Please invite everyone you know to get involved! Great event for a great cause!

I am joined on this episode by the most wonderful person that is Helen Frewin of Totem Consulting. Helen is one of the most generous people I have had the good fortune to meet in the business world and am delighted that she is going to be sharing her expertise freely by delivering a session with us at Actually she can! on 27th February. Helen is a Business Psychologist, Executive Coach, Professional Speaker and Author of the book "Better than confidence" and with the team at Totem Consulting works with organisations to help them have their people performing at their best, positively engaged with their work and delivering high standards, through coaching, training and facilitating at all levels. Helen's session at our fundraising event will be a very popular one, I am sure, and if you have not yet got your ticket, tune in and hear why you need to RUN DON'T WALK and get your ticket today!  Helen's session at Actually! is entitled "Why everyone wins with more women in leadership and how we can get there. Get powered up with a reminder of the business case for having women at the top, and a challenge and guide for all genders to make this possible." Definitely going to be a popular one and this session alone is probably worth the ticket price for the whole day!  We have 13 professional speakers, authors and coaches giving their time and talent for free so that we can create bursary opportunities for young girls in Halton Borough and YOU could be a part of that! Whether you want to attend the event in person OR sponsor a place for a women who could not otherwise afford to be there, hurry along to the actuallyshecan.co.uk website now.

If you are curious to hear about "Actually, she can!" and to know exactly what is on the agenda that day, then this brief, basic and straightforward episode is for you! No music, no guests, nothing more than a simple description of the topics being covered and the value on offer - it'll take about 8 minutes but will give you a taste of what the whole event is all about and help you decide how many tickets you need to buy!  Tickets are selling well and can be purchased online or if you need an invoice then just drop me a note and I can organise that for you. Whatever you do, do NOT miss out on this opportunity! It's a total one-off, never to be repeated event offering more value than you can imagine! Promise!

What can we learn from a woman who took a wrong turn and had a bloke pull a gun on her, but eventually sorted and paid for a taxi to take her back to her hotel?  Well, she might be a black belt in 4 Martial Arts, but she only ever went because her mate did, and she still cannot catch a bullet in her teeth - even though both her sons are stuntmen in the movies! This can only be the wonderful (and hilarious!) Heather Wright, talking to me about the session she will be running for us at "Actually, she can!" next February in Cheshire. Heather is a seasoned expert in neuropsychology and will help us delve into the science behind self-discovery to unblock our true potential.  She promises and enlightening and inspiring speech where we can learn strategies to overcome the barriers to confidence and authenticity and build the "us" that we really want to be.  At "Actually, she can!" Heather will be bringing the day to a close with valuable insights that blend science with personal empowerment and set us up to use the learning to break habits that no longer serve us and help us develop new habits that will help us to be the version of ourselves that we want to be. It promises to be a powerful conclusion to an amazing day, and if you haven't got your ticket yet, you really need to get a wiggle on before they sell out!  ActuallySheCan.co.uk is a great place to check out the whole line up and follow the link to get your tickets but please, run don't walk! Time is ticking!

Actually, she can! is all about encouraging and inspiring women to do, be and achieve whatever their heart so desires, but is it realistic to expect happiness every day in that life?  This week's guest Jo Howarth says that indeed it is possible to make that choice, and in our conversation she explains more about what she means by that.  Jo is another of the amazing speakers, authors and coaches that is giving her time and expertise free of charge on 27th February to help raise funds for young women in Halton who might need a hand overcoming financial challenges into higher education or vocational apprenticeships, and I hope that when you listen to this episode that gives you another really good reason to be rushing off to buy your ticket!  Did you know, if you cannot attend the event to support us, you can still PAY IT FORWARD by sponsoring a ticket for a woman who otherwise could not afford to be there?  The day really is a win win win win win at every level! By women, for women, fundraising for future female talent and Jo Howarth and her "Choosing Happiness Every Day" session might be just the inspiration you need to achieve fabulous things, and authentic happiness, going forward. Please do share the episode and help us spread the word and pop along to actuallyshecan.co.uk to grab your ticket before they sell out. But for now, sit back and enjoy our conversation! Thanks Jo!

Kate Trafford is a Master Coach, author and TEDx speaker and am delighted to say is our opening speaker at Actually, she can! next February.  With over 20 years of experience helping people drive for big results AND love the journey, Kate will be encouraging us to take a moment to pause and consider the road ahead, asking us some powerful questions and helping us think about our own authentic happiness and success.  Her highly acclaimed book "Get there, love here" can help you become the person you want to be, with the career you want to have, whilst staying true to yourself and Kate will bring that magic to the Actually, she can! line up next year.  If you haven't yet got your ticket, hurry up and grab it before we sell out - Kate's session and workshop could be just the opportunity you need to set your sights on your future and make 2025 the year you start to enjoy rather than endure the journey!  Tickets and details of all our speakers can be found at - run!

This week I am chatting to another one of the "Actually, she can!" line up - the wonderful Soulful Stylist Kate Harrison who will be running a workshop on the 27th February "Styling for confidence - inside and out".  Kate started her career in the fashion industry, later moving into image consultancy and co-founded the first UK High Street Advice Studio, welcomging thousands of women over the years for personal styling and corporate events, and realised just how much the colours we wear and surround ourselves with affects our energy, and indeed also our confidence. Kate has a wealth of experience in this arena and chats to me in this podcast episode about her background and the value that she is brining to the Actually, she can! agenda. Honestly, you will be spoilt for choice in the workshops that we have on offer - personally I want to attend them ALL!  Actually, she can! takes place next February 27th in Runcorn, Cheshire and offers an inspirational day of personal growth and professional development by women, for women, fundraising for future female talent and we have already sold over half of the tickets with 3 months still to go - don't miss out! Tickets are available from the actuallyshecan.co.uk website or if you are an organisation wanting your own table, drop me a note and I can arrange that for you!  But for now, sit back, listen and enjoy as Kate and I chat about the fantastic opportunity she is offering to those who are attending - it's a fabulous listen!