Regulated & Relational

Julie and Ginger welcome ATN friend Guy Stephens into the studio.  Guy is a lifelong Marylander, a father, a husband and a child advocate.  He began by advocating for appropriate accommodations and supports for his neurodivergent son, which led him to found the Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint. He is working to change policy and practices around the use of seclusion and restraint at the local, state, and federal levels. Guy says, “The biggest thing you have to change is the culture. You have to get buy-in from superintendents, school administrators, and others.” We do have a lot of paradigm shifting to do. The website for the Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint is www.EndSeclusion.org. The organization also has a presence on FaceBook, Instagram, LinkedIn and YouTube.  You can email Guy directly at guystephens@endseclusion.org Join us on Friday, October 14 for Compliance to Compassion, a virtual learning event for teachers, paraprofessionals and all educators needing support and ideas in these challenging times. Click to register: https://events.zoom.us/e/view/vSrc1zKiSR2VoOCQ9NDobg

Today Julie and Ginger talk about praise and how to use it effectively in the home and in the classroom.  They also discuss some of the challenges of praise, especially with children from a history of trauma. Why do our children often reject praise? How does encouragement differ from praise?  What are some techniques you can use?  First and foremost, praise MUST be sincere and sometimes you must approach praise from a counter intuitive lens.  Our hosts share some ideas of how to do this, specifically by using drive by praising and indirect praising. Listen in for examples. Visit ATN’s on-line store and view our Connected Messages Post It Notes at https://www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org/product/post-it-notes/.  These notes pack a powerful punch. And … Be sure to leave us feedback because we can always use a little praise (or constructive feedback)  ourselves!

In this episode, Julie and Ginger talk about their latest book study, Atlas of the Heart, by Brene Brown.  ATN’s Team R&R, an online community for educators, is doing a weekly dive into this great book. One part of this book really stood out to Julie and Ginger, the chapter on Disappointment, Unmet Expectations and Regret.  They said that we all have movies running in our heads showing the outcomes we expect, however, since life doesn’t always play out as expected, that leads to disappointment.  Unexpressed expectations can lead to these disappointments.  Communication is one key to alleviate it. Ginger’s favorite quote in this chapter from Brene is, “There are too many people in the world today who decide to live disappointed, rather than risk the feeling of disappointment.” Wow.  What a quote that is! To order your copy of Brene Brown’s Atlas of the Heart, visit ATN’s bookstore at https://bookshop.org/shop/AttachmentTraumaNetwork. Here you will find the largest collection of trauma focused books. To learn more about Team R&R, go to https://www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org/teamrr/.  Click Join Team R&R to gain access to a library of Trauma Sensitive School resources.

In this episode, Julie and Ginger welcome Jack Hinman into the studio.  Jack is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and he has been providing mental health services to individuals and families for over 20 years. Jack specializes in Attachment Theory and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). He focuses on helping young adults launch into adulthood through an attachment focused lens. Jack says that, “Connection is both the outcome and the intervention.” In mid-June, the Engage Transitions facility will be opening in Cedar City, Utah. This is a therapeutic community that gives young adults the confidence to safely explore their environment.  The goal is to have the young adults create their own social networks using Engage as their secure base. To learn more about Engage, go to www.engagelifenow.com. You can also email Jack at Jack@engagelifenow.com.  Jack proudly proclaims, “Attachment is my language.”

In this episode, Julie and Ginger welcome Jethro Jones into the studio to discuss social media and its impact on traumatized children.  Jethro is the 2017 NASSP Digital Principal of the Year. He is a former principal and host of Transformative Principal.  He is the founder of the Center for Cyber Ethics, an independent nonpartisan educational institute. He is an author of 2 books: SchoolX: How Principals Can Design a Transformative School Experience for Students, Teachers, Parents – And Themselves and How to be a Transformative Principal.  Additionally, he works as a consultant in school systems. Jethro says. “We can’t expect children to do things that they aren’t ready for” and social media is one of those things. Jethro lays out some strategies for parents and teachers on how to help children navigate the social media world. You can reach out directly to Jethro and order his books at www.JethroJones.com.

In this episode, Ginger and Julie dive into Restorative Practices with Joe Brummer in the studio.  Joe is an expert in developing trauma-informed and restorative approaches in schools and organizations.  He is a consultant and author of the book, Building a Trauma-Informed Restorative School. This book can be ordered from ATN’s bookstore at Building a Trauma Informed Restorative School.  Joe is also a member of ATN’s PD Collaborative, a group of trauma-informed educational experts available to provide PD training, consultation and support to school districts and organizations embarking on becoming trauma-informed. Joe explains what Restorative Practices are and how these practices are implemented in schools. How do these practices differ from punitive practices and why do they work? Joe says, “The paradigm shift is the knowledge that the wrong-doing caused a break in relationships, not a break in rules.” To get more information, or reach out to Joe, go to JoeBrummer.com. For more information about ATN’s PD Collaborative, go here: https://www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org/atn-announces-new-pd-collaborative/.

In this episode, Julie and Ginger talk about the delicate balance between structure and nurture. What are the differences in punishment, consequences, accountability, and discipline?  These terms are defined and discussed to determine what works best when doing trauma informed, therapeutic parenting and why. We should always seek to understand what is underneath the child’s behaviors, and we need to ask why they are acting the way that they do. As Julie said, “None of this is easy. It’s all about establishing a connection. This cannot be done without a relationship.” Check out the new book by Dr. Mona Delahooke, Brain-Body Parenting: How to Stop Managing Behavior and Start Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids. Dr. Delahooke says, “Human beings don’t develop new strengths without some level of stretching, but it must be individualized.” This book can be ordered from ATN's bookstore at Brain-Body Parenting. This episode is dedicated to the trail-blazing trauma-informed and attachment-focused work done by Larry Smith, LCSW. (1951-2016)

In this episode, Julie and Ginger reflect on what our lives have been like dealing with Covid and building resilience throughout the pandemic.  Ginger says that “It’s important to recognize that we can be both overwhelmed AND hopeful at the same time.” What is meant by holding space for others in a time of chaos? In her book, The Art of Holding Space, Heather Platt says that holding space means “being willing to walk alongside another person on whatever journey they are on.” Julie and Ginger also point out that it is vital to accept that the only way to handle this is to take care of ourselves. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we can’t hold space for others.  Everything is relational! And remember, even in a time of grief, don’t forget to play! Play is a gift! To purchase a copy of Heather Platt’s book, go to: https://www.amazon.com/Art-Holding-Space-Liberation-Leadership/dp/1989603475.

In this episode, Julie and Ginger talk with Jessica Sinarski.  She is a renowned mental health professional and author, having authored Riley the Brave, Riley the Brave Returns to School, and What’s Inside Your Backpack.  Jessica’s superpower is making brain science accessible and entertaining for both children and adults.  Jessica says that she loves to take “her brain nerdy self and marry it with what everyone needs to know about the brain and attachment and development”. In this podcast, Jessica explains exactly what she means by “Reframing the Narrative”.  Find her books in ATN’s bookstore here: https://bookshop.org/shop/AttachmentTraumaNetwork. ATN is thrilled to have Jessica presenting a pre-conference workshop at our upcoming 5th Annual Creating Trauma-Sensitive Schools Conference, February 20-25, 2022.  There's still time to register!  Learn more at www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org/conference

In this episode, Julie and Ginger talk with Dyane Carrere, educator, author, counselor, and staff developer.  Dyane specializes in supporting students on the fringes.  Her book, The Re-Set Process: Trauma Informed Behavior Strategies can be found here: https://www.amazon.com/Re-Set-Process-Trauma-Informed-Behavior-Strategies/dp/1681254190.  Dyane describes the four steps of the Re-Set Process and explains how these steps can proactively help all students, not just those that are dysregulated.  She discusses what behavior plans actually work and which ones are downright harmful.  Visit her web site at https://dcarrereconsulting.wixsite.com/home.

In this episode, Julie and Ginger talk with Dr. Jenna Lichter, ATN’s Trauma-Sensitive Schools Coordinator. Listen in to learn more about trauma sensitive schools - what they are and what ATN does to support their creation. Dr. Lichter says, “It’s a culture shift. The school must realize the prevalence of trauma and its impact.  There needs to be a recognition of the signs of trauma and the schools must have trauma informed reactions and a resistance to re-traumatization."  For more information about ATN’s Creating Trauma-Sensitive Schools Conference happening in February 2022, visit our website at https://www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org/conference/.  If your school is looking for trauma-informed training or consultation, contact our PD Collaborative at https://www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org/atn-announces-new-pd-collaborative/.  To reach Dr. Jenna Llichter, email her at Jenna@attachtrauma.org. Learn how to be a leader in this movement!

In this episode, Julie and Ginger chat with Cissy White.  Cissy is a self-proclaimed Joy Stalker and Truth Teller, and boy, is she ever!  Her passion is to make trauma informed changes for survivors of trauma who are parenting with ACEs. With Julie and Ginger, Cissy discusses her path to healing. She says, “Trauma informed change must be led by survivors” and ATN could not agree more!   In 2013, Cissy began her blog, Heal Write Now. You can read more at https://healwritenow.com/.

In this episode Julie and Ginger acknowledge that the holidays are not always full of cheer for all families.  Children with traumatic experiences may not be able to embrace the joy of the season.  How can we manage? Julie and Ginger share tools that have worked for them, but Julie says, “Sometimes you just have to think outside of the box.” They reference Kathleen Benckendorf’s list of trauma-informed gift ideas. The list can be found here: https://www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org/wp-content/uploads/Gift-List.pdf Their best advice – Take care of yourself!  You must have something in your cup to be able to serve it up. If this podcast has helped you, please consider joining our Giving Tuesday campaign.  You can donate on Tuesday, November 30 or before/after.  Now more than ever, children, families, schools and communities need ATN.  Won’t you help us reach farther in 2022? -- www.attachtrauma.org/donate

In this episode Julie and Ginger discuss the New York Times bestselling book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. What is burnout?  How do you know when you are approaching burnout? Burnout is highly prevalent, and it needs to be talked about. They point out strategies to avoid burnout and relieve burnout. The authors, Emily and Amelia Nagoski, dedicated their book to all the givers, so if you are a giver, this podcast is for you!  To order your copy of Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle go to: https://www.amazon.com/Burnout-Secret-Unlocking-Stress-Cycle/dp/198481706X EXCITING NEWS!!!!!  Amelia Nagoski will be a keynote speaker at our 5th Annual Creating Trauma-Sensitive Schools Conference.  Her session is entitled:  "Burnout: What to do when you are overwhelmed and exhausted about everything you have to do and still worry that you aren’t doing enough."  She will be virtually presenting on Friday, February 24, 2022.  To learn more and to register, go to www.AttachTrauma.org/Conference.

In this episode, Julie and Ginger talk about the Window of Tolerance, specifically what level of stress can we tolerate and grow from and what we can do when we are outside those windows of tolerance? What are hyper-arousal and hypo-arousal states? Why is this important? Julie says, “Our healthy relationships play a major role in how wide our window can get.  To be seen and to be told that we matter are very powerful factors in helping us maintain our window of tolerance.” Be sure to watch these videos from Tracy Farrell to further understand the Window of Tolerance concept: The Window of Tolerance Reimagined: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVEDueyZ2C4 and The Panda’s Island of Regulation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXE8DIMiv8Y

Julie and Ginger discuss why rewards and punishments don’t work for traumatized children.  What are rewards? What are punishments? What are consequences? Why don’t they work and what should we do? Alternative methods, where relationships are primary, are presented.  They explore how to look underneath the behavior instead of simply punishing the behavior.  Ginger says, “We want our children to get back up when knocked down.  We want them to believe in themselves.” It’s important that children not see failure as an endpoint, but actually, a starting point to grow Registration is open for our 5th annual Creating Trauma-Sensitive Schools Conference - Feb 20-25, 2022.  There are both in-person & virtual options.  For more information about this conference go to: www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org/conference  This conference is for educators and all who work in schools and child-caring organizations. Here you can learn more about the conference and register. It's a fantastic gathering of those leading and growing the trauma-informed education movement.  We hope to see you there!

Today, Julie and Ginger explore a timely topic - how to support students and staff returning to school during this pandemic.   They are joined by Jen Alexander, a teacher, school counselor, trauma informed expert and author of Supporting Students and Staff after Covid 19.  Jen says, “It's our job to notice the need and meet the need.”  She explains how to do this in the classroom, school, family, and community. Visit Jen’s website www.MsJenAlexander.com for more of her resources and to order her books. Her books can also be found in ATN’s bookstore at https://bookshop.org/shop/AttachmentTraumaNetwork. Don’t forget about our upcoming virtual Standing Strong conference on September 13-15, 2021.  It’s an event for those parenting/caregiving children impacted by trauma.  Our focus will be on how to advocate for our children - at school and in other systems.  For more information or to purchase tickets: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/atns-2021-standing-strong-conference-tickets-162816002045.

Today Julie and Ginger partner with Michele Nigliazzo, ATN’s Court Advocacy Director.  They discuss the impact of discovering that your child needs Special Education services. They reveal that grief is a natural response. Listen to Julie, Ginger and Michele share how to best navigate IEP meetings. Michelle recommends two books on the subject: From Emotions to Advocacy and Special Education and the Law.  Visit the Wright’s Law website, https://www.wrightslaw.com/,  to  learn even more. Don’t forget about our upcoming virtual Standing Strong conference on September 13-15, 2021.  This is an incredible opportunity to learn more about special education advocacy for children impacted by trauma (and others as well).  Not to mention a great opportunity to experience the support and resources of ATN.  For more information or to purchase tickets: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/atns-2021-standing-strong-conference-tickets-162816002045.

Today Julie and Ginger talk with Stephanie Garde, ATN’s Operation Manager to discuss peer support. Parent-to-parent  support is the root of the foundation of the Attachment & Trauma Network. Stephanie explains that peer-to-peer support is so critical.  She says “Peer support becomes so life-changing that once you’ve received it and you’re no longer in crisis mode, there’s a pull to ‘pay it forward’.” Listen as Julie, Ginger, and Stephanie talk about the core competencies of good support and discuss the pitfalls that some support groups fall into. Are you a parent looking for tips on navigating the school system?  Join us for our virtual Standing Strong conference on September 13-15, 2021.  For more information or to purchase tickets: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/atns-2021-standing-strong-conference-tickets-162816002045.

What does it feel like as we start to get back to “normal”?  Ginger and Julie are exploring the emotional impact of the pandemic...the collective grief.  What is grief?  How do we handle change?  How do we help ourselves and others walk through these tremendous changes? We’d love to hear your thoughts on today’s episode.  Please email us at podcast@attachtrauma.org