Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon

This conversation revolves around the nervous system and its impact on the way that we connect. Dr. Alexandra is joined by Deb Dana, the leading translator of Dr. Stephen Porges’ scientific work on Polyvagal Theory to the public and mental health professionals. As just one example of her huge impact, a term she coined, glimmers, has gone viral on TikTok. You’ll hear Deb take us through Polyvagal Theory, explaining the three principles of neuroception, hierarchy of response, and coregulation. You’ll learn about the states our nervous systems go between - how those states feel and the types of thoughts and sensations that go alongside each state. You will learn that our ability to connect with the people around us is dictated by our biology. It’s not cognitive. And it’s certainly not random.  Through the lens of Polyvagal Theory, helping our nervous systems and the nervous systems around us feel safe becomes the goal, and you’ll learn how that perspective has shaped Deb Dana’s life and how it can shift how you approach your relationships, as well. And of course, you’ll hear about glimmers, including how to integrate a simple glimmer practice into your routine, in order to further help the nervous system feel safe and primed for connection, curiosity, and creativity.Resources worth mentioning from the episode:Read Deb Dana’s “A Beginner’s Guide to Polyvagal Theory”: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/Beginners-Guide-Presentations-1.pdfLearn more about Deb Dana and her work: https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory by Deb Dana: https://bookshop.org/p/books/anchored-how-to-befriend-your-nervous-system-using-polyvagal-theory-deb-dana-lcsw/2dcb315349927ae6Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn from Dr. Alexandra (E-courses: Intimate Relationships 101 or Can I Trust You Again?): https://dralexandrasolomon.com/learn-from-alexandra/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

On Reimagining Love, we've done several solo episodes where Dr. Alexandra takes a seemingly simple and straightforward statement that folks are making about relationships. Then she pulls it apart to try to find more shades of grey, to add more complexity and layering to a phrase that she finds has gotten too simplistic. In today’s episode, we are going to look at what it means when people say they've outgrown their relationship*. First, Dr. Alexandra will talk you through what she thinks people are saying when they say they've outgrown the relationship. Then she is going to look at the internal stuff - what might be going on inside of you that's shaping this feeling that you've outgrown the relationship that you're in. Then she is going to look at the relational stuff - what might be going on in the space between you and your partner that's shaping this feeling that you've outgrown the relationship. And then finally, she will talk about some strategies that you can use to bring clarity to the situation. *This episode often uses the language of intimate partnerships but much of it can be applied to other relationships, like friendships, as well.Other Solo RL Episodes that do a deep dive on a too-simplistic phrase:“I Love Them, But I’m Not In Love With Them” https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/i-love-them-but-im-not-in-love-with-them/“Right person, wrong time” https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/right-person-wrong-time/“If They Wanted To, They Would.” https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/if-they-wanted-to-they-would/Resources to support the episode:Reimagining Love episodes, Relational Ambivalence: Should I Stay or Should I Go? Part 1 https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/relational-ambivalence-should-i-stay-or-should-i-go-part-1-rerelease/Relational Ambivalence: Should I Stay or Should I Go? Part 2 https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/relational-ambivalence-should-i-stay-or-should-i-go-part-2-rerelease/Inviting a Reluctant Partner Into Relationship Work https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/inviting-a-reluctant-partner-into-relationship-work-re-release/Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn from Dr. Alexandra (E-courses: Intimate Relationships 101 or Can I Trust You Again?): https://dralexandrasolomon.com/learn-from-alexandra/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This episode is brought to you by Activations. Head to activations.com/love for an exclusive offer.One critical component of any relationship equation is You. When you embody your best self - the self with the most clarity, motivation, aliveness - you bring your most important self to your relationships.Dr. Alexandra sits down with Mimi Bouchard, an entrepreneur and author, who reveals her transformative journey to her best self across the important pillars of her life: financial, mental, physical, spiritual, and social.As a result of her work, she created the Activations app to help others embody the person they want to be. Listen in to learn how to bounce back when you slip away from your relationship goals. (Which is inevitable because we are not perfect - but perfection is not the goal!) We can show up in our lives with more confidence and clarity, whether that’s for a first date, an important meeting, a therapy session, a difficult conversation, your wedding day, or a weekday walk in the park. Resources worth mentioning from the episode:Mimi Bouchard’s book, Activate Your Future Self: https://bookshop.org/p/books/activate-your-future-self-the-secret-to-effortlessly-becoming-the-happiest-healthiest-and-wealthiest-you-mimi-bouchard/06a64f6f35e11628Learn more about Mimi Bouchard: https://mimibouchard.com/Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this conversation, Dr. Alexandra totally nerds-out with Dr. Allison Daminger about the division of work in couples, particularly in an often overlooked domain: the mental space. In her research, Daminger found that even when couples approximate parity around “time use”, there are still huge gaps in what she calls “mind use” or cognitive labor… even for modern couples who believe in what she calls the Myth of Mutuality, an equal partnership where both partners evenly share the load.You will hear about the gendered disparities in cognitive labor in the home in a gentle, blame-free way. When it comes to gender roles in family life, we tend to overestimate the effects of individual differences and underestimate the effects of bigger social forces. So if the load is feeling unequal in your partnership, Daminger wants you to move away from guilt and blame and toward strategies that move you closer to your ideals. In this episode, you’ll hear about:What constitutes cognitive labor and why women tend to carry the lion’s share. Experiences from couples in Allison’s research who successfully created shared systems for cognitive labor, and the approaches and conditions that made that possible. The narratives couples use to justify how they divide labor, especially when trying to avoid recreating gendered patterns (while often recreating them anyway). How to spot cognitive labor disparities in your own home and use that awareness to divide responsibilities more fairly based on skill rather than “personality” (i.e., gendered expectations). The pressure that broader societal structures place on individual households, and how reframing the issue can support calls for systemic change. How to start small and make meaningful shifts toward parity in cognitive labor.Resources worth mentioning from the episode:Dr. Allison Daminger’s book, What’s On Her Mind - The Mental Workload of Family Life: https://bookshop.org/p/books/what-s-on-her-mind-the-mental-workload-of-family-life-allison-daminger/585e2aa7eac0a0eaLearn more about Dr. Allison Daminger and sign up for her newsletter The Daminger Dispatch: https://www.allisondaminger.com/Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Dr. Alexandra is in-studio with her husband, Todd, for this special two-part conversation about loving across potentially dealbreaking differences. Inspired by the Netflix show, Nobody Wants This, starring Kristen Bell and Adam Brody, Dr. Alexandra and Todd reflect on navigating a faith difference, with Dr. Alexandra ultimately converting to Judaism in preparation for their marriage. They discuss the larger question: how can a couple go about navigating ANY potentially dealbreaking difference? In this second part of their studio conversation, Dr. Alexandra and Todd talk about scorekeeping, with gender roles, attachment styles and general disposition/worldview in mind, best practices for the “winner” and “loser” in a change/sacrifice scenario, how to approach making sacrifices to stave off resentment…and then the REAL juicy stuff: does Todd hate that Dr. Alexandra is now a Swiftie like him? Plus, hear her hot take on shelving conversations for later.Resources worth mentioning from the episode:Reimagining Love Episode, Nobody Wants This: How to Love Across Potentially Dealbreaking Differences (Part 1) with My Husband, Todd https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/nobody-wants-this-how-to-love-across-potentially-dealbreaking-differences-with-my-husband-todd/Watch the FULL IN-STUDIO CONVERSATION on YouTube: https://youtu.be/4R40kazeU4Q?t=9Reimagining Love Episode, Love Stories: Toddcast https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/love-stories-toddcast/Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschoolContinue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Dr. Alexandra is in-studio with her husband, Todd, for this special two-part conversation about loving across potentially dealbreaking differences. Inspired by the Netflix show, Nobody Wants This, starring Kristen Bell and Adam Brody, Dr. Alexandra and Todd reflect on navigating a faith difference, with Dr. Alexandra ultimately converting to Judaism in preparation for their marriage. They discuss the larger question: how can a couple go about navigating ANY potentially dealbreaking difference? You’ll hear their reflections on Dr. Alexandra’s decision to convert to Judaism, as they discuss the implications of being the 'sacrificing partner' versus the one being 'sacrificed for’. You will also hear how attachment differences and family of origin dynamics impacted their relationship and what they’ve learned from it all over the years. You’ll come away from this episode with:A deeper understanding of how interfaith dynamics can enrich or challenge relationships.Insights into the importance of communication in overcoming differences.Practical advice on navigating family of origin roles and attachment styles to enhance relationship intimacy.Resources worth mentioning from the episode:Reimagining Love Episode, Love Stories: Toddcast https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/love-stories-toddcast/Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschoolContinue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Dr. Alexandra’s conversation with Dr. Kristin Neff is all about self-compassion, an essential tool for your emotional well-being toolkit (and that’s scientifically proven!). Dr. Kristen Neff, a trailblazer in the field of self-compassion research, introduces the three foundational pillars of self-compassion, illustrating how integrating all three of these elements empowers individuals to confront their inner critic and cultivate healthier connections.   The discussion delves into the biological and family of origin influences that shape our self-criticism, while also addressing the grief that may surface when embarking on a self-compassion journey.  You will also learn about Fierce Self-Compassion, and how we can lean into this action-oriented facet to be ambitious and to fulfill our life’s purpose.You’ll come away from this episode with:A deeper understanding of the three pillars of self-compassion and their impact on relationships. Insights into how practising self-compassion can cultivate self-love, foster connection, enhance intimacy, and reduce anxiety, shame, and isolationA new perspective on some common myths of self-compassion, such as:Are self-compassion and self-esteem the same thing? Is “self-compassion” just “self-pity” rebranded? Does practising self-compassion encourage people to not take personal accountability?Does embracing self-compassion mean we can’t be ambitious or want to come in first place?Strategies for integrating self-compassion into your routine, with a simple starting point that Dr. Kristin Neff herself practices dailyResources worth mentioning from the episode:Learn more about Dr. Kristin Neff and Self-Compassion: https://self-compassion.org/Join the Self-Compassion Community: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-community/Fierce Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff: https://bookshop.org/p/books/fierce-self-compassion-how-to-harness-kindness-to-speak-up-claim-your-power-and-thrive-dr-kristin-neff/76d3f59a98e08da8?ean=9780062991065&next=tSelf-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff: https://bookshop.org/p/books/self-compassion-the-proven-power-of-being-kind-to-yourself-dr-kristin-neff/a22f80fa1a9efa3b?ean=9780061733529&next=tManaging Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschoolContinue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

“The cost of that is courage, to live for love, in truth. It takes a lot of guts and the rewards are indescribable.”Dr. Alexandra sits down with bestselling author and coach Dr. Martha Beck to explore what it means to live “for love, in truth”, a mantra that can redefine the way we experience love and relationships. In a world filled with societal pressures and expectations, Martha shares her wisdom on how embracing authenticity can unlock profound joy and lead to fulfilling connections. Martha reflects on her unconventional journey through relationships, and the life-changing lessons learned from a spiritual experience she had while under anesthesia and from being shunned by her community in her young adulthood. Together, Dr. Alexandra and Dr. Martha Beck tackle a listener's poignant question about experiencing doubt in her relationship that’s full of “emotional complexities and longing”, leading her to question if her needs are being met.In this episode, you’ll learn:What Martha Beck means by her mantra, “For love, in truth,” and how to recognize when you’re living out of alignment with your truth.How to hold love and truth through moments of doubt and loss, and how to embrace doubt and loss as necessary aspects of growth.How to come back to peace when life feels overwhelming.How to balance compassion for your partner with holding your own truth, telling your own story, and tending to your personal needs. Resources worth mentioning from the episode:Learn more about Martha Beck: https://marthabeck.com/Beyond Anxiety: Curiosity, Creativity and Finding Your Life’s Purpose by Martha Beck: https://bookshop.org/p/books/beyond-anxiety-curiosity-creativity-and-finding-your-life-s-purpose-martha-beck/6741d02da06f0869Martha Beck and Rowan Mangan’s Wilder Community: https://wildercommunity.com/Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschoolContinue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this two-part series, Dr. Alexandra will be taking you through how to take care of yourself and your relationship when your partner is struggling. Perhaps your partner is struggling with a job loss, a health diagnosis, a mental health challenge, the loss of a loved one, family drama, co-parenting with an ex, or something else entirely. Whatever it is, the theme is that there is some scenario that is taking up more of your partner’s bandwidth than usual, leaving less bandwidth for you and your relationship.In this second part, Dr. Alexandra is going to take you through five internal strategies to cope with the situation at hand – strategies designed to help you tend to and take care of yourself. Then she will take you through nine relational strategies that will help you and your partner maintain or restore your relationship even as your partner struggles. You’ll come away with this conversation with:A toolkit of five internal strategies to support your own emotional health while caring for your partner.Nine actionable relational strategies to enhance communication and understanding in your relationship.Insights on the significance of self-care for the non-struggling partner and how it contributes to relationship health.Food-for-thought on resentment, grieving, high-functioning co-dependency, celebrating small victories, and rebuilding after a dark period (and so much more!)Resources worth mentioning from the episode:Terri Cole’s Too Much: https://bookshop.org/p/books/too-much-a-guide-to-breaking-the-cycle-of-high-functioning-codependency-terri-cole-msw-lcsw/077213db5957f23e?ean=9781649631862&next=t&Reimagining Love episode, High-Functioning Codependency: From Managing to Loving with Terri Cole https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/high-functioning-codependency-from-managing-to-loving-with-terri-cole/Reimagining Love episode, Why Self-Compassion is an Essential Practice with Dr. Kristin Neff https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/why-self-compassion-is-an-essential-practice-with/id1588419386?i=1000733838918Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschoolContinue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this two-part series, Dr. Alexandra will be taking you through how to take care of yourself and your relationship when your partner is struggling. Perhaps your partner is struggling with a job loss, a health diagnosis, a mental health challenge, the loss of a loved one, family drama, co-parenting with an ex, or something else entirely. Whatever it is, the theme is that there is some scenario that is taking up more of your partner’s bandwidth than usual, leaving less bandwidth for you and your relationship.In this first part, Dr. Alexandra is going to be contextualizing this scenario and providing lots of validation for the struggle that comes with having a struggling partner. She is also going to discuss factors that shape how your partner’s struggle impacts you. Hard things are just hard, but the ways you’re getting activated in the wake of your partner’s struggle also have a lot to do with your specific wounds, as well as the role you played in your family of origin. The insights shared in this episode lay the groundwork for a two-part series designed to equip you with effective coping strategies to maintain your well-being while fostering intimacy and connection, even in challenging times.You’ll come away from this conversation with:A deeper understanding of what Dr. Alexandra calls the Recursive Relational Framework (RRF).Research examples that demonstrate that your partner’s struggles affect you and that how you respond can influence their outcome.Strategies for recognizing and managing your emotional triggers in response to a partner's distress.Practical tips for fostering personal growth while supporting a partner through their challenges.Resources worth mentioning from the episode:Get the FREE Family of Origin Roles Workbook: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/rolesworkbook/Family of Origin Series Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/58WZg044gbmGsL6iPNxXJy?si=bajzkF-kRxG3WL76yJL-qwTake the Family of Origin Role Quiz: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/rolesquiz/Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschoolLinks to research articles mentioned: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/what-to-do-when-your-partner-is-struggling-part-one/Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What if the key to deeper intimacy lies in understanding the echoes of our past? Dr. Alexandra Solomon sits with Christine Hassler, a Master coach, podcast host, and author, to discuss how our family of origin roles shape our present connections, emphasizing the importance of inner child work and relational self-awareness. Christine shares her journey through the unhealthy patterns that surfaced in her own relationship with her partner, Stef, offering a raw look at the necessity of self-reflection in cultivating healthier dynamics.You'll come away from this episode with:A deeper understanding of how family of origin influences shape your current relationships.Practical strategies for engaging in inner child work to enhance self-awareness and relational dynamics.Insights into the importance of self-advocacy (especially as women!) and authentic communication in intimate partnerships.Perspective on how our professional roles and work offer yet another arena for us to notice and tend to old pain and create new ways of relating to ourselves and the world around us.Resources worth mentioning from the episode:Podcast - Life Coaching with Christine Hassler: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-coaching-with-christine-hassler/id1050321415Christine Hassler's The Women's Retreat in San Diego, Oct 17-19, 2025: https://christinehassler.com/womensretreat/“Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschoolCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: http://pesi.com/dralexandraContinue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Anxiety is one of the most common emotional struggles today. Whether you have a formal diagnosis or are simply experiencing the symptoms, you are not alone. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra is joined by anxiety expert, therapist, and author Noelle McWard Aquino to talk about the three distinct root causes Noelle has identified and written about in her book Anxiety Unpacked. Together, they discuss which characteristics each type has and what core needs drive them. And most importantly, they discuss practical tools and strategies to help you find relief and peace, regardless of your anxiety type.You’ll come away with this conversation with:A thorough overview of anxiety, with answers to questions that often come up such as: -What’s the difference between anxiety and intuition?-Is it okay if I just avoid the things that make me anxious?-How am I possibly going to change my behaviour when I feel as anxious as I do?-Why do we have to deal with anxiety in the first place?The three root causes of anxiety, characteristics to identify each type, and strategies to manage each typeTips on what to do if you’re struggling with anxiety in your intimate partnership, and what to do if your partner is struggling with anxietyValidation on the experience of anxiety and a mindset shift to provide hope that you can find peace and calm Resources worth mentioning from the episode:Learn more about Noelle McWard Aquino:https://noellemcwardaquino.com/Anxiety Unpacked by Noelle McWard Aquino:https://bookshop.org/p/books/anxiety-unpacked-noelle-mcward-aquino/a60a608d74e71afb?ean=9781960876904&next=t&“Your Anxiety Toolkit” on MasterClass:www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkitCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: http://pesi.com/dralexandraContinue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Have you ever felt like your resilience is being pushed to its limits, especially in the chaotic and complex world we live in today? Dr. Alexandra sits down with organizational psychologist, researcher, and New York Times best-selling author Dr. Tasha Eurich to delve into the insights from her new book, Shatterproof: How to Thrive in a World of Constant Chaos (and Why Resilience Alone Isn’t Enough). In this conversation, they discuss the myths of resilience, as well as what a “resilience ceiling” is and how to identify when we’ve hit it. Most importantly, they talk about how to understand the limits of resilience so that we don’t, as Dr. Tasha would call it, “grit gaslight” ourselves when our usual coping strategies don’t work the way they used to.You'll come away from this episode with:A clearer understanding of the limitations of resilience and how to identify when you’ve reached your 'resilience ceiling’.A renewed perspective on the importance of acknowledging struggles as part of personal growth and healing (stoicism isn't the answer here!).Practical strategies and tools to enhance your self-awareness and well-being, such as Dr. Tasha’s self-assessment for determining how much of our self-definition is about our work and ambition, and her 2-2-2 tool for managing overwhelm.Insights into the essential emotional needs that foster deeper connections in your relationships.Resources worth mentioning from the episode:The Resilience Ceiling Quizhttps://resilience-quiz.com/Shatterproof: How to Thrive in a World of Constant Chaos (And Why Resilience Alone Isn't Enough) by Tasha Eurichhttps://bookshop.org/p/books/shatterproof-how-to-thrive-in-a-world-of-constant-chaos-and-why-resilience-alone-isn-t-enough-tasha-eurich/9f0e6a8876113ed0Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschoolCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: http://pesi.com/dralexandraContinue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

There are a few things we likely can all agree on: (1) we are living in a very polarizing time, (2) it’s hurting us, and (3) the way that we talk about politics is broken, given that we are all living in different information orbits. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra sits down with Mónica Guzmán who offers us some hope for the relationships in our lives that have suffered as a result of this polarization. She also offers us the perspective we need to help us stay grounded, even as the structures all around us fiercely demand our attention and invite our reactivity. The goal is not necessarily to seek to change each other’s view on the issues but to change our view on each other. And to see that “engagement is not endorsement”, as we work to enter into curious dialogue with the people in our lives and to perhaps notice the ways that we are not as divided as we believe we are.You’ll come away with:Strategies on how to approach the conversations with the people in your life that have historically gone sideways due to ideological misalignmentsInsights on maintaining curiosity and connection in the face of divisionTips for navigating the online dating landscape without compromising your values or limiting yourselfResources worth mentioning from the episode:Mónica Guzmán’s Reclaim Curiosity Newsletter: https://www.moniguzman.com/subscribeI Never Thought of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times by Mónica Guzmán: https://bookshop.org/p/books/i-never-thought-of-it-that-way-monica-guzman/22293096?ean=9781637740323&next=t&next=t&affiliate=4380Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschoolCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: http://pesi.com/dralexandraContinue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

We’re living in a time of information abundance (sometimes information overload!) and lots of that information is about mental health, wellness, and relational health! But there’s a difference between consuming content and integrating it. When we consume, the information might just pass through us. Whereas when we integrate, the information weaves its way into our unique story or situation. This creates insight and the potential for a shift in mindset, in emotion, in belief, and in behavior.Reflect and journal with Dr. Alexandra to integrate core lessons from the podcast, continuing with today’s conversation from the archive. Originally released in September 2022, Dr. Alexandra and Dr. Thema Bryant discuss the importance of resting and of tapping into the things that make you feel truly alive. They also recognize that the ways the system impacts our sense of identity may hinder us from experiencing ease in rest or leisure. They invite us to incorporate these essential self-care acts into our lives little by little.Get out your favorite pen and journal to reflect on these perspectives:Many of your struggles are influenced by systemic issues and are not as personal as you might think. Acknowledging this makes a lot of the negative voices in our heads related to our worth less of a mystery - often, they did not come from us.Rest is a radical act of self-compassion and connection (and not selfish or lazy!), although many people find it very difficult to slow down for a variety of reasons, particularly those from historically excluded identities.While slowing down can feel overwhelming because it brings up avoided emotions, integrating this practice gradually, and slowly noticing the information our emotions provide us can allow us to tap into our truth.Journaling Prompts:How ​do ​the ​macro ​issues ​of ​the ​world ​shape ​your ​sense ​of ​yourself ​in ​this ​moment ​today? ​What ​do ​the ​voices ​in ​your ​head ​tell ​you ​about ​your ​worth? Did ​that ​voice ​come ​from ​you? ​How ​might ​you ​show ​up ​differently ​if ​you ​rejected ​what ​the ​voices ​told ​you ​when ​they ​told ​you ​negative ​things ​about ​your ​worth? ​What's ​your ​relationship ​with ​rest and ​stillness?  Is ​there ​some ​discomfort ​there? What, ​perhaps, ​keeps ​you ​from ​feeling ​at ​ease ​while ​resting? What ​does ​it ​feel ​like ​in ​your ​body ​to ​be ​still, to ​do ​nothing, ​to ​not ​be ​productive? What ​does ​doing ​something ​just ​for ​the ​sake ​of ​doing ​it, ​not ​as ​a ​means ​to ​an ​end, but ​just ​to ​be ​in ​the ​moment - what ​does ​that ​feel ​like? ​What's ​coming ​up ​for ​you ​as ​we ​sit ​here ​together ​right ​now? ​What ​comes ​to ​mind ​when ​you ​are ​being ​invited ​to ​reconnect with ​​some ​neglected ​parts ​of ​yourself? ​What ​are ​you ​doing when ​you ​feel ​the ​most ​alive? What's ​the ​setting? ​What's ​the ​context? ​What ​time ​of ​day ​is ​it? What ​are ​you ​up ​to? What ​are ​the ​constraints ​to ​entering ​that ​space ​that ​makes ​you ​feel ​most ​alive? ​   What, ​perhaps, keeps ​you ​from ​feeling ​entitled ​to ​make ​space for ​that which ​makes ​you ​come ​alive? ​What ​is ​a ​pledge ​that you ​can ​make ​to ​yourself ​this ​week ​to ​carve ​out ​even ​the ​tiniest ​bit ​more ​space ​for ​rest, for ​stillness, for ​doing ​that ​which ​makes ​you ​feel ​alive? And ​if ​and ​when ​you ​carve ​out ​a ​little ​tiny ​bit ​more ​space, ​can ​you ​just ​notice ​and ​land ​and ​savor how you ​feel when ​you ​enter that ​space ​of ​rest and ​stillness?Resources worth mentioning from the episode:Reimagining Love episode, Coming Home to Ourselves: The Path to Thriving with Dr. Thema Bryanthttps://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/coming-home-to-ourselves-learning-to-thrive-with-dr-thema-bryant/Homecoming: Overcome Fear and Trauma to Reclaim Your Whole, Authentic Self by Dr. Thema Bryant:https://bookshop.org/p/books/homecoming-healing-trauma-to-reclaim-your-authentic-self-thema-bryant/20204100?ean=9780593418321&next=tThe Homecoming Podcast:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-homecoming-podcast-with-dr-thema/id1471604689Dr. Thema’s Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/dr.thema/Tricia Hershey’s The Nap Ministry (Healing via the REST IS RESISTANCE framework):https://thenapministry.wordpress.com/about/Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschoolCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: http://pesi.com/dralexandraContinue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The fourth and final mailbag episode of the summer is here! Dr. Alexandra has advice for three listeners with three relationship dilemmas related to infidelity and rebuilding trust, both relationally and within themselves.Start healing together with these listener challenges:Our first listener question concerns shame upon discovering an extramarital affair.The second question deals with jealousy in the wake of some boundary-breaching behavior that is impacting the relationship.An affair partner asks our third question, as she struggles with honesty and clarity within the affair from her married partner.Resources worth mentioning from the episode:Can I Trust You Again? e-course: https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/can-i-trust-you-again-rebuilding-after-betrayal-or-deceitReimagining Love episode, When Shame Blocks Repair: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/when-shame-blocks-repair/Reimagining Love episode, When You’re the Affair Partner: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/when-youre-the-affair-partner/Your Midyear Refresh on MasterClass: http://masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: http://pesi.com/dralexandraContinue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Dr. Alexandra sits down with Case Kenny – creator, mindfulness expert, host of the podcast New Mindset, Who Dis? and author of That’s Bold of You and The Opposite of Settling: How to Get Everything You Want Out of Love and Life Without Losing Your Spark – to discuss how societal “shoulds” around dating and relationships can create rigid expectations and fear-based decisions. Instead, they invite us to lean into curiosity, optimism, and self-awareness to get what we want out of love and dating.Together, they dive into:Why the concept of “settling down” needs an upgrade—and what it means to “settle up” instead How understanding your “why” of dating shifts your whole approach Using the peak-end rule to reframe past dating experiences How showing up enthusiastically and with trust as the default right from the start can amplify your dating and relationship experiences            And so much more!“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandraThe Opposite of Settling: How to Get Everything You Want Out of Love and Life Without Losing Your Spark by Case KennyInstagram @case.kennyLearn more about Case Kenny: https://www.casekenny.com/Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubmit a Listener Question Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

First-generation children of immigrants often struggle with bicultural straddling, impacting their sense of identity, their mental health, their priorities and values, and their relationships. They can also find it difficult to be understood and loved by their parents in a way they can truly feel. Dr. Alexandra is joined by Sahaj Kaur Kohli, founder of Brown Girl Therapy and author of But What Will People Say: Navigating Mental Health, Identity, Love and Family Between Cultures to discuss how we can develop more capacity to love across differences and make shifts within ourselves to change our relationships for the better.You will come away from this conversation with:Validation for identity tensions you may carry as the child of immigrant parents (or more perspective on these identity tensions if you are not!)Insight into balancing personal boundaries with cultural expectations, especially when dealing with clashing priorities - plus a fresh perspective on how to approach healingTips on finding the right therapist and how to ensure you’re receiving culturally-attuned care given the mental health field’s bias toward a Eurocentric and individualized approach Strategies for building healthier relationships - with yourself, your family, and romantic partners - while honoring your heritage“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandraBut What Will People Say: Navigating Mental Health, Identity, Love and Family Between Cultures by Sahaj Kaur KohliBrown Girl Therapy Instagram Culturally Enough SubstackLearn more about Sahaj Kaur KohliOrder Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubmit a Listener Question Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When grappling with aspects of ourselves that we deem less good, less productive or less loveable, it may be tempting to completely write those parts off, or to hide them away in shame.  Today’s guest, Britt Frank, sits down with Dr. Alexandra to make a compelling case for why it is essential to use the power of parts work to embrace these aspects of ourselves so that we can make better sense of the full range of the human experience and show up more fully in our important relationships.  You will come away from this episode with:Inspiration to embrace all parts of yourself, good and “bad”Know-how to A.L.I.G.N your mind, using this acronym to work with your partsGreater “parts literacy” to navigate your relationships with more skill, understanding, and compassionA new perspective on Attachment Styles in relation to our parts“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandraAlign Your Mind: Tame Your Inner Critic and Make Peace with Your Shadow Using the Power of Parts Work by Britt FrankLearn more about Britt Frank at https://www.brittfrank.com/Reimagining Love Episode, Finding The “Self”: Exploring Family Systems Therapy With Dr. Richard C. SchwartzOrder Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubmit a Listener Question Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Welcome to R&R: Revisit & Reflect, a new episode format here on the podcast. We’re living in a time of information abundance (sometimes information overload) and lots of that information is about mental health and relational health! But there’s a difference between consuming content and integrating it. When we consume, the information might just pass through us, whereas when we integrate, the information weaves its way into our unique story or situation, creating insight and the potential for a shift in mindset, in emotion, in belief, and in behavior. With these R&R episodes, you’ll reflect and journal with Dr. Alexandra to integrate core lessons from the podcast, continuing with today’s conversation from the archive with the esteemed Drs. John & Julie Gottman. The Gottmans share some of the most groundbreaking findings to ever come out of their Love Lab and discuss with Dr. Alexandra the relationship principle of “Small Things Often.” So, get out your favorite pen and journal and join in this summer reflection. You’ll come away from this episode with:A deeper understanding of how 'small things often' can create lasting bonds in your intimate partnerships.An opportunity to identify and appreciate the positive moments that contribute to your relationship's health.A framework for self-reflection with actionable journaling prompts to enhance intimacy.Journaling Prompts:What messages did you receive growing up, either from your family, your culture, or from media you consumed, about HOW to express love? In what ways were those messages limited, and how might you update them based on what you heard in this clip?What keeps you from making small gestures of love towards your partner / toward your past partner? What keeps you from ACCEPTING bids for connection from partners? Is it discomfort? If so, what specifically feels uncomfortable? Is it fear? If so, what specifically is the fear? Is it a feeling of unworthiness? If so, what do you want to remember about who you are?In the clip, the Gottmans remind us that our PERCEPTION of our partner can play a huge role in the dynamic, and that we might actually be missing positive moments and bids for connection that are already happening. Write down a commitment you want to make this week to help you to keep an eye out for the positive.What’s something you find beautiful about your partner, either inside or out? What would it be like to share this with them, without any agenda, but just because it might light them up?“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandraReimagining Love Episode, “How to Love Well: The Little Things that Change Everything with Drs. John & Julie Gottman”Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.