Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon

In this two-part series, Dr. Alexandra will be taking you through how to take care of yourself and your relationship when your partner is struggling. Perhaps your partner is struggling with a job loss, a health diagnosis, a mental health challenge, the loss of a loved one, family drama, co-parenting with an ex, or something else entirely. Whatever it is, the theme is that there is some scenario that is taking up more of your partner’s bandwidth than usual, leaving less bandwidth for you and your relationship.In this first part, Dr. Alexandra is going to be contextualizing this scenario and providing lots of validation for the struggle that comes with having a struggling partner. She is also going to discuss factors that shape how your partner’s struggle impacts you. Hard things are just hard, but the ways you’re getting activated in the wake of your partner’s struggle also have a lot to do with your specific wounds, as well as the role you played in your family of origin. The insights shared in this episode lay the groundwork for a two-part series designed to equip you with effective coping strategies to maintain your well-being while fostering intimacy and connection, even in challenging times.You’ll come away from this conversation with:A deeper understanding of what Dr. Alexandra calls the Recursive Relational Framework (RRF).Research examples that demonstrate that your partner’s struggles affect you and that how you respond can influence their outcome.Strategies for recognizing and managing your emotional triggers in response to a partner's distress.Practical tips for fostering personal growth while supporting a partner through their challenges.Resources worth mentioning from the episode:Get the FREE Family of Origin Roles Workbook: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/rolesworkbook/Family of Origin Series Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/58WZg044gbmGsL6iPNxXJy?si=bajzkF-kRxG3WL76yJL-qwTake the Family of Origin Role Quiz: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/rolesquiz/Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschoolLinks to research articles mentioned: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/what-to-do-when-your-partner-is-struggling-part-one/Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What if the key to deeper intimacy lies in understanding the echoes of our past? Dr. Alexandra Solomon sits with Christine Hassler, a Master coach, podcast host, and author, to discuss how our family of origin roles shape our present connections, emphasizing the importance of inner child work and relational self-awareness. Christine shares her journey through the unhealthy patterns that surfaced in her own relationship with her partner, Stef, offering a raw look at the necessity of self-reflection in cultivating healthier dynamics.You'll come away from this episode with:A deeper understanding of how family of origin influences shape your current relationships.Practical strategies for engaging in inner child work to enhance self-awareness and relational dynamics.Insights into the importance of self-advocacy (especially as women!) and authentic communication in intimate partnerships.Perspective on how our professional roles and work offer yet another arena for us to notice and tend to old pain and create new ways of relating to ourselves and the world around us.Resources worth mentioning from the episode:Podcast - Life Coaching with Christine Hassler: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-coaching-with-christine-hassler/id1050321415Christine Hassler's The Women's Retreat in San Diego, Oct 17-19, 2025: https://christinehassler.com/womensretreat/“Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschoolCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: http://pesi.com/dralexandraContinue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Anxiety is one of the most common emotional struggles today. Whether you have a formal diagnosis or are simply experiencing the symptoms, you are not alone. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra is joined by anxiety expert, therapist, and author Noelle McWard Aquino to talk about the three distinct root causes Noelle has identified and written about in her book Anxiety Unpacked. Together, they discuss which characteristics each type has and what core needs drive them. And most importantly, they discuss practical tools and strategies to help you find relief and peace, regardless of your anxiety type.You’ll come away with this conversation with:A thorough overview of anxiety, with answers to questions that often come up such as: -What’s the difference between anxiety and intuition?-Is it okay if I just avoid the things that make me anxious?-How am I possibly going to change my behaviour when I feel as anxious as I do?-Why do we have to deal with anxiety in the first place?The three root causes of anxiety, characteristics to identify each type, and strategies to manage each typeTips on what to do if you’re struggling with anxiety in your intimate partnership, and what to do if your partner is struggling with anxietyValidation on the experience of anxiety and a mindset shift to provide hope that you can find peace and calm Resources worth mentioning from the episode:Learn more about Noelle McWard Aquino:https://noellemcwardaquino.com/Anxiety Unpacked by Noelle McWard Aquino:https://bookshop.org/p/books/anxiety-unpacked-noelle-mcward-aquino/a60a608d74e71afb?ean=9781960876904&next=t&“Your Anxiety Toolkit” on MasterClass:www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkitCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: http://pesi.com/dralexandraContinue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Have you ever felt like your resilience is being pushed to its limits, especially in the chaotic and complex world we live in today? Dr. Alexandra sits down with organizational psychologist, researcher, and New York Times best-selling author Dr. Tasha Eurich to delve into the insights from her new book, Shatterproof: How to Thrive in a World of Constant Chaos (and Why Resilience Alone Isn’t Enough). In this conversation, they discuss the myths of resilience, as well as what a “resilience ceiling” is and how to identify when we’ve hit it. Most importantly, they talk about how to understand the limits of resilience so that we don’t, as Dr. Tasha would call it, “grit gaslight” ourselves when our usual coping strategies don’t work the way they used to.You'll come away from this episode with:A clearer understanding of the limitations of resilience and how to identify when you’ve reached your 'resilience ceiling’.A renewed perspective on the importance of acknowledging struggles as part of personal growth and healing (stoicism isn't the answer here!).Practical strategies and tools to enhance your self-awareness and well-being, such as Dr. Tasha’s self-assessment for determining how much of our self-definition is about our work and ambition, and her 2-2-2 tool for managing overwhelm.Insights into the essential emotional needs that foster deeper connections in your relationships.Resources worth mentioning from the episode:The Resilience Ceiling Quizhttps://resilience-quiz.com/Shatterproof: How to Thrive in a World of Constant Chaos (And Why Resilience Alone Isn't Enough) by Tasha Eurichhttps://bookshop.org/p/books/shatterproof-how-to-thrive-in-a-world-of-constant-chaos-and-why-resilience-alone-isn-t-enough-tasha-eurich/9f0e6a8876113ed0Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschoolCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: http://pesi.com/dralexandraContinue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

There are a few things we likely can all agree on: (1) we are living in a very polarizing time, (2) it’s hurting us, and (3) the way that we talk about politics is broken, given that we are all living in different information orbits. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra sits down with Mónica Guzmán who offers us some hope for the relationships in our lives that have suffered as a result of this polarization. She also offers us the perspective we need to help us stay grounded, even as the structures all around us fiercely demand our attention and invite our reactivity. The goal is not necessarily to seek to change each other’s view on the issues but to change our view on each other. And to see that “engagement is not endorsement”, as we work to enter into curious dialogue with the people in our lives and to perhaps notice the ways that we are not as divided as we believe we are.You’ll come away with:Strategies on how to approach the conversations with the people in your life that have historically gone sideways due to ideological misalignmentsInsights on maintaining curiosity and connection in the face of divisionTips for navigating the online dating landscape without compromising your values or limiting yourselfResources worth mentioning from the episode:Mónica Guzmán’s Reclaim Curiosity Newsletter: https://www.moniguzman.com/subscribeI Never Thought of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times by Mónica Guzmán: https://bookshop.org/p/books/i-never-thought-of-it-that-way-monica-guzman/22293096?ean=9781637740323&next=t&next=t&affiliate=4380Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschoolCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: http://pesi.com/dralexandraContinue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

We’re living in a time of information abundance (sometimes information overload!) and lots of that information is about mental health, wellness, and relational health! But there’s a difference between consuming content and integrating it. When we consume, the information might just pass through us. Whereas when we integrate, the information weaves its way into our unique story or situation. This creates insight and the potential for a shift in mindset, in emotion, in belief, and in behavior.Reflect and journal with Dr. Alexandra to integrate core lessons from the podcast, continuing with today’s conversation from the archive. Originally released in September 2022, Dr. Alexandra and Dr. Thema Bryant discuss the importance of resting and of tapping into the things that make you feel truly alive. They also recognize that the ways the system impacts our sense of identity may hinder us from experiencing ease in rest or leisure. They invite us to incorporate these essential self-care acts into our lives little by little.Get out your favorite pen and journal to reflect on these perspectives:Many of your struggles are influenced by systemic issues and are not as personal as you might think. Acknowledging this makes a lot of the negative voices in our heads related to our worth less of a mystery - often, they did not come from us.Rest is a radical act of self-compassion and connection (and not selfish or lazy!), although many people find it very difficult to slow down for a variety of reasons, particularly those from historically excluded identities.While slowing down can feel overwhelming because it brings up avoided emotions, integrating this practice gradually, and slowly noticing the information our emotions provide us can allow us to tap into our truth.Journaling Prompts:How ​do ​the ​macro ​issues ​of ​the ​world ​shape ​your ​sense ​of ​yourself ​in ​this ​moment ​today? ​What ​do ​the ​voices ​in ​your ​head ​tell ​you ​about ​your ​worth? Did ​that ​voice ​come ​from ​you? ​How ​might ​you ​show ​up ​differently ​if ​you ​rejected ​what ​the ​voices ​told ​you ​when ​they ​told ​you ​negative ​things ​about ​your ​worth? ​What's ​your ​relationship ​with ​rest and ​stillness?  Is ​there ​some ​discomfort ​there? What, ​perhaps, ​keeps ​you ​from ​feeling ​at ​ease ​while ​resting? What ​does ​it ​feel ​like ​in ​your ​body ​to ​be ​still, to ​do ​nothing, ​to ​not ​be ​productive? What ​does ​doing ​something ​just ​for ​the ​sake ​of ​doing ​it, ​not ​as ​a ​means ​to ​an ​end, but ​just ​to ​be ​in ​the ​moment - what ​does ​that ​feel ​like? ​What's ​coming ​up ​for ​you ​as ​we ​sit ​here ​together ​right ​now? ​What ​comes ​to ​mind ​when ​you ​are ​being ​invited ​to ​reconnect with ​​some ​neglected ​parts ​of ​yourself? ​What ​are ​you ​doing when ​you ​feel ​the ​most ​alive? What's ​the ​setting? ​What's ​the ​context? ​What ​time ​of ​day ​is ​it? What ​are ​you ​up ​to? What ​are ​the ​constraints ​to ​entering ​that ​space ​that ​makes ​you ​feel ​most ​alive? ​   What, ​perhaps, keeps ​you ​from ​feeling ​entitled ​to ​make ​space for ​that which ​makes ​you ​come ​alive? ​What ​is ​a ​pledge ​that you ​can ​make ​to ​yourself ​this ​week ​to ​carve ​out ​even ​the ​tiniest ​bit ​more ​space ​for ​rest, for ​stillness, for ​doing ​that ​which ​makes ​you ​feel ​alive? And ​if ​and ​when ​you ​carve ​out ​a ​little ​tiny ​bit ​more ​space, ​can ​you ​just ​notice ​and ​land ​and ​savor how you ​feel when ​you ​enter that ​space ​of ​rest and ​stillness?Resources worth mentioning from the episode:Reimagining Love episode, Coming Home to Ourselves: The Path to Thriving with Dr. Thema Bryanthttps://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/coming-home-to-ourselves-learning-to-thrive-with-dr-thema-bryant/Homecoming: Overcome Fear and Trauma to Reclaim Your Whole, Authentic Self by Dr. Thema Bryant:https://bookshop.org/p/books/homecoming-healing-trauma-to-reclaim-your-authentic-self-thema-bryant/20204100?ean=9780593418321&next=tThe Homecoming Podcast:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-homecoming-podcast-with-dr-thema/id1471604689Dr. Thema’s Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/dr.thema/Tricia Hershey’s The Nap Ministry (Healing via the REST IS RESISTANCE framework):https://thenapministry.wordpress.com/about/Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschoolCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: http://pesi.com/dralexandraContinue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The fourth and final mailbag episode of the summer is here! Dr. Alexandra has advice for three listeners with three relationship dilemmas related to infidelity and rebuilding trust, both relationally and within themselves.Start healing together with these listener challenges:Our first listener question concerns shame upon discovering an extramarital affair.The second question deals with jealousy in the wake of some boundary-breaching behavior that is impacting the relationship.An affair partner asks our third question, as she struggles with honesty and clarity within the affair from her married partner.Resources worth mentioning from the episode:Can I Trust You Again? e-course: https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/can-i-trust-you-again-rebuilding-after-betrayal-or-deceitReimagining Love episode, When Shame Blocks Repair: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/when-shame-blocks-repair/Reimagining Love episode, When You’re the Affair Partner: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/when-youre-the-affair-partner/Your Midyear Refresh on MasterClass: http://masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: http://pesi.com/dralexandraContinue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Dr. Alexandra sits down with Case Kenny – creator, mindfulness expert, host of the podcast New Mindset, Who Dis? and author of That’s Bold of You and The Opposite of Settling: How to Get Everything You Want Out of Love and Life Without Losing Your Spark – to discuss how societal “shoulds” around dating and relationships can create rigid expectations and fear-based decisions. Instead, they invite us to lean into curiosity, optimism, and self-awareness to get what we want out of love and dating.Together, they dive into:Why the concept of “settling down” needs an upgrade—and what it means to “settle up” instead How understanding your “why” of dating shifts your whole approach Using the peak-end rule to reframe past dating experiences How showing up enthusiastically and with trust as the default right from the start can amplify your dating and relationship experiences            And so much more!“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandraThe Opposite of Settling: How to Get Everything You Want Out of Love and Life Without Losing Your Spark by Case KennyInstagram @case.kennyLearn more about Case Kenny: https://www.casekenny.com/Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubmit a Listener Question Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

First-generation children of immigrants often struggle with bicultural straddling, impacting their sense of identity, their mental health, their priorities and values, and their relationships. They can also find it difficult to be understood and loved by their parents in a way they can truly feel. Dr. Alexandra is joined by Sahaj Kaur Kohli, founder of Brown Girl Therapy and author of But What Will People Say: Navigating Mental Health, Identity, Love and Family Between Cultures to discuss how we can develop more capacity to love across differences and make shifts within ourselves to change our relationships for the better.You will come away from this conversation with:Validation for identity tensions you may carry as the child of immigrant parents (or more perspective on these identity tensions if you are not!)Insight into balancing personal boundaries with cultural expectations, especially when dealing with clashing priorities - plus a fresh perspective on how to approach healingTips on finding the right therapist and how to ensure you’re receiving culturally-attuned care given the mental health field’s bias toward a Eurocentric and individualized approach Strategies for building healthier relationships - with yourself, your family, and romantic partners - while honoring your heritage“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandraBut What Will People Say: Navigating Mental Health, Identity, Love and Family Between Cultures by Sahaj Kaur KohliBrown Girl Therapy Instagram Culturally Enough SubstackLearn more about Sahaj Kaur KohliOrder Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubmit a Listener Question Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When grappling with aspects of ourselves that we deem less good, less productive or less loveable, it may be tempting to completely write those parts off, or to hide them away in shame.  Today’s guest, Britt Frank, sits down with Dr. Alexandra to make a compelling case for why it is essential to use the power of parts work to embrace these aspects of ourselves so that we can make better sense of the full range of the human experience and show up more fully in our important relationships.  You will come away from this episode with:Inspiration to embrace all parts of yourself, good and “bad”Know-how to A.L.I.G.N your mind, using this acronym to work with your partsGreater “parts literacy” to navigate your relationships with more skill, understanding, and compassionA new perspective on Attachment Styles in relation to our parts“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandraAlign Your Mind: Tame Your Inner Critic and Make Peace with Your Shadow Using the Power of Parts Work by Britt FrankLearn more about Britt Frank at https://www.brittfrank.com/Reimagining Love Episode, Finding The “Self”: Exploring Family Systems Therapy With Dr. Richard C. SchwartzOrder Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubmit a Listener Question Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Welcome to R&R: Revisit & Reflect, a new episode format here on the podcast. We’re living in a time of information abundance (sometimes information overload) and lots of that information is about mental health and relational health! But there’s a difference between consuming content and integrating it. When we consume, the information might just pass through us, whereas when we integrate, the information weaves its way into our unique story or situation, creating insight and the potential for a shift in mindset, in emotion, in belief, and in behavior. With these R&R episodes, you’ll reflect and journal with Dr. Alexandra to integrate core lessons from the podcast, continuing with today’s conversation from the archive with the esteemed Drs. John & Julie Gottman. The Gottmans share some of the most groundbreaking findings to ever come out of their Love Lab and discuss with Dr. Alexandra the relationship principle of “Small Things Often.” So, get out your favorite pen and journal and join in this summer reflection. You’ll come away from this episode with:A deeper understanding of how 'small things often' can create lasting bonds in your intimate partnerships.An opportunity to identify and appreciate the positive moments that contribute to your relationship's health.A framework for self-reflection with actionable journaling prompts to enhance intimacy.Journaling Prompts:What messages did you receive growing up, either from your family, your culture, or from media you consumed, about HOW to express love? In what ways were those messages limited, and how might you update them based on what you heard in this clip?What keeps you from making small gestures of love towards your partner / toward your past partner? What keeps you from ACCEPTING bids for connection from partners? Is it discomfort? If so, what specifically feels uncomfortable? Is it fear? If so, what specifically is the fear? Is it a feeling of unworthiness? If so, what do you want to remember about who you are?In the clip, the Gottmans remind us that our PERCEPTION of our partner can play a huge role in the dynamic, and that we might actually be missing positive moments and bids for connection that are already happening. Write down a commitment you want to make this week to help you to keep an eye out for the positive.What’s something you find beautiful about your partner, either inside or out? What would it be like to share this with them, without any agenda, but just because it might light them up?“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandraReimagining Love Episode, “How to Love Well: The Little Things that Change Everything with Drs. John & Julie Gottman”Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Welcome to another summer mailbag episode, in which Dr. Alexandra digs into recent listener questions so that we can all grow, together. Two of the questions today follow a general shape of a question that comes across Dr. Alexandra’s desk quite often. Something like: “Everything’s perfect in my relationship…BUT….” There’s some challenge, incompatibility, or roadblock that feels outside of our control—or, something within *US* that’s holding us back from taking things to the next level, even though everything feels so right—and we can’t get unstuck. Dr. Alexandra speaks to two listeners in this spot, as well as answering a unique question from a listener who is wanting to reclaim a special place for herself and her daughter, a place that holds both “pain and potential,” in her words, in the wake of the end of her marriage. Listen to hear Dr. Alexandra’s tips on how she can reclaim her paradise.“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandraTake the Family of Origin Roles QUIZ Previous summer mailbag episodes: Mailbag 1, Mailbag 2Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Sex isn't always easy to talk about, but today, you're going to hear from someone who is bringing the sexy back to sex ed. Dr. Alexandra is joined by Shan Boodram, a sexuality educator and certified sexologist, known for her work on Netflix’s Too Hot To Handle, The Marriage Pact on The Roku Channel, and Ex-Rated on Peacock, as well as her MasterClass, “The Art of Seduction,” which leads folks through the fundamentals of flirting, intimacy, and how to foster deep physical and emotional connections. Shan’s approach to sex education is welcoming and approachable, and she has a reverence for this topic that is oh-so central to our humanity and aliveness. From re-defining the way we draw wisdom from the ancient Kama Sutra text, to even designing jewelry that encourages folks to reclaim their pleasure in the bedroom, Shan & this conversation will inspire you to see your and your partner’s sexuality with fresh eyes. And if you’re looking for practical advice on the art of seduction, you’ll get that in this episode, too (enter Shan’s iconic “sexy eye triangle” tip). There’s so much to glean from this episode, whether you’re looking to spice things up with your partner in the bedroom, move past sexual shame, or just see sex in a new way.You’ll come away from this episode with:A refreshed perspective on the “intimate self” and a reminder of how central our sexuality is to our humanityPractical tips for how to use flirting and seduction to connect with others, and even more importantly, with yourself New ideas for how to bring novelty, improved communication, and playfulness into the bedroom“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandra“The Art of Seduction on MasterClass: masterclass.com/shanKäma, Shan's jewelry collaboration with SurmeyiShan’s websiteLOVERS by shan, Shan’s podcastOrder Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Dr. Alexandra sits down with author and speaker Jennifer Pastiloff for a heartfelt conversation centered on vulnerability, new beginnings, and embracing joy through trying times. Jen’s candid sharing of her personal journey reminds us that we're constantly given opportunities to evolve ourselves, heal, and step more deeply into our authenticity. Jen and Dr. Alexandra also discuss navigating the "messy middle" after a breakup or divorce, and how we can begin again in life after facing bumps in the road. Jen's new book, Proof of Life: Let Go, Let Love, and Stop Looking for Permission to Live Your Life, is out today and explores all of these topics and many more.You'll come away from this episode with:Hope & permission to live a bigger and more beautiful lifeReminders for how to cultivate emotional safety in your intimate partnerships, which will pave the way for deeper connectionA deeper understanding of the importance of "I Got You" people—the supportive folks in your circle who reflect your best self back to you—and clues for how to find themEmpowerment to feel joy and search for beauty even in the most difficult or heartbreaking chapters of your life“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandraProof of Life: Let Go, Let Love, and Stop Looking for Permission to Live Your Life by Jennifer PastiloffOrder Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Welcome to R&R: Revisit & Reflect, a new episode format here on the podcast. We’re living in a time of information abundance (sometimes information overload) and lots of that information is about mental health and relational health! But there’s a difference between consuming content and integrating it. When we consume, the information might just pass through us, whereas when we integrate, the information weaves its way into our unique story or situation, creating insight and the potential for a shift in mindset, in emotion, in belief, and in behavior. With these R&R episodes, you’ll reflect and journal with Dr. Alexandra to integrate core lessons from the podcast, starting with today’s conversation from the archive with the inimitable relationship expert Esther Perel. They explore relational ambivalence and how to reignite the spark inside your relationship, and within yourself, inspired by a listener’s question. So, get out your favorite pen and journal and join in this summer reflection. You’ll come away from this episode with:A deeper understanding of the importance of rituals in maintaining connection amidst life's challengesA new perspective on the impact of external circumstances on anxiety in your relationships.The ability to recognize and respond to your partner's bids for connection.A framework for self-reflection with actionable journaling prompts to enhance intimacy.Journaling Prompts:How do the macro issues of the world shape your love life today? To what degree are you able to give yourself permission for play and pleasure, even as the world feels so hard? What allows you to do that?In the clip, Esther reminds us that if you don’t know how to turn yourself on, there’s nothing your partner can do to turn you on. How are you finding ways to connect to your own aliveness? What are some things you can do this week, just for you, that could reinvigorate your internal spark? This could include engaging with nature, art, food, movement, or play.In this clip, Esther and Dr. Alexandra talk about how for a couple to create an experience together, one partner is the initiator and one is the responder. These roles aren’t fixed, but which role do you do you tend to find yourself in more? What do you like about being in each position, and what’s hard about each of them?“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandraOrder Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.