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Janet responds to several messages from parents who feel stumped as to how to respond effectively to their children's behaviors. A 4-year-old has been lashing out at his mom and schoolmates. A kindergartner calls her brother "stupid.” Another kindergartner can't pull herself together to get to school on time without her mother doing 95% of the work. Janet offers general guidelines for responding to unsettled children and, more specifically, how her suggestions can be applied to easing the behavior issues in each of these scenarios. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Acorns: Start saving and investing for your future today. Go to Acorns.com/unruffled.BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month of therapy by going to BetterHelp.com/Respect.Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
A parent writes that she's feeling helpless and desperate about her 3-year-old's frequent, intense meltdowns, which sometimes last up to an hour. This mom says they usually "relate to control and power struggles where he tells me or my husband to do something." And although she remains calm, responds with empathetic words, assures him that it's okay to be mad, offers hugs, and tries to acknowledge his feelings, nothing seems to help. Often her responses seem to make him angrier. Understandably, she eventually loses her patience. "I will likely end up screaming at him because I literally can’t handle his screaming at me any longer, and then I feel the weight of the guilt for yelling at him..." Janet offers a slight shift in the parents' perspective and subtle adjustments they can make to their approach that she believes will help their spirited son move through his emotional flare-ups more easily. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:K12 Powered Schools: Tuition-free online accredited public schools for kindergarten through 12th grade at: K12.com/UNRUFFLEDAcorns: Start saving and investing for your future today. Go to Acorns.com/unruffled.BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month of therapy by going to BetterHelp.com/Respect.Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Janet’s guest is Dr. William Stixrud, a clinical neuropsychologist and co-author of The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives. Bill Stixrud's decades of experience counseling children and their parents have led to conclusions that complement and support Janet's own parenting philosophy, especially topics such as encouraging self-confidence, intrinsic motivation, and inner-directedness. And since many of Bill's clients have been with him from childhood through adolescence and into adulthood, he has the benefit of seeing the results of his practice. Bill and Janet discuss the value of giving our kids opportunities to make choices, discover and pursue their passions, and the challenges and benefits of being a nonanxious presence (because our "calm is contagious").Dr. Stixrud is the founder of The Stixrud Group, a member of the teaching faculty at Children’s National Medical Center, and an assistant professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the George Washington University School of Medicine. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Acorns: Start saving and investing for your future today. Go to Acorns.com/unruffled.BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month of therapy by going to BetterHelp.com/Respect.Ritual: 30% off your first month of Symbiotic Plus at Ritual.com/respect.Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Janet responds to a parent with a toddler and four-year-old who struggles to connect with her kids individually, and neither reacts well when the other is getting mom’s attention. For instance, she says when she tries to give her older son some lap time, “my 18-month-old clearly gets jealous and starts squealing, attempting to climb on me, hitting his brother.” She’s wondering if it’s possible to really connect with either child when both are upset.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Go to K12.com/UNRUFFLED today to learn more and find a tuition-free K12-powered school near you.Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
As a teacher, Michelle Kenney used punishments and rewards to motivate and manage children's behavior in her classroom. Then she became a mom. When her second daughter was born, her first child began exhibiting the typical behavior of an older, displaced child. She talked back, threw tantrums, and at one point became dangerously rough with her little sister. Frustrated and worried, Michelle’s instinct was to discipline her daughter with yelling and punishments, but she soon found that this approach was having the opposite effect and only driving a wedge between them. Introduced by chance to a gentle parenting coach, Michelle was eventually able to see her daughter’s behavior through a more empathetic lens. That changed everything. “It’s such a beautiful thing,” she says, “Having these good, connected relationships… I know they feel safe, and I never felt that way when I was growing up.” Michelle is now a parent coach and shares her experience, inspiration, and knowledge in her new book Unpunished.  Michelle's contact information and parenting resources are available at peaceandparentingla.com.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Go to K12.com/UNRUFFLED today to learn more and find a tuition-free K12-powered school near you.The Lactation Network. Just because lactation is natural doesn't mean it's easy. Visit: TLN.care/unruffledOur Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Toddlers and preschoolers are driven to learn everything about their world, and they are particularly intrigued by the people in it: peers, family members, kids, grown-ups, and most of all their parents. A key aspect of their socialization is learning about personal boundaries, understanding how to assert theirs and respect those of others. They need our help with that. In her response to a parent's question about her 2.5 year old hitting children who invade his space, Janet explains how we teach these invaluable lessons and why they matter. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Go to K12.com/UNRUFFLED today to learn more and find a tuition-free K12-powered school near youRitual's Hyacera - Get 30% off during your first month. Visit ritual.com/RESPECT The Lactation Network. Just because lactation is natural doesn't mean it's easy. Visit: TLN.care/unruffledOur Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
A parent writes that her 5-year-old is afraid to start kindergarten. Though she’s sympathetic that this is a big transition for her son, as he’s never been cared for by anyone but his grandparents or a cousin, she’s recovering from breast cancer and also has a two-year-old, so she needs this to work. While she and her husband both try to validate his feelings and talk about the fun parts of school, he ends up whining and breaking down, saying he isn’t going to like it and doesn’t want to go. She’s struggling and admits, “I have no words and don’t know the right thing to do or say.”Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Ritual's Hyacera - Get 30% off during your first month. Visit ritual.com/RESPECT The Lactation Network. Just because lactation is natural doesn't mean it's easy. Visit: TLN.care/unruffledOur Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Parent Traps

Parent Traps

2023-08-0124:481

Kids seem to have a sixth sense when it comes to detecting our vulnerabilities as parents. And as adept learners and explorers, they can't help but keep pressing the buttons they discover in us. It can be easy for us to get stuck in an uncomfortable, unproductive cycle.Janet shares two recent interactions she's had with friends who are concerned about disconcerting new tendencies they've noticed in their children. One parent says her daughter is portraying herself as a constant victim, blaming others for every mishap, even for her own errors and misdeeds. Another writes that when her son is in tantrum mode, she gently stops him from hitting and kicking, but afterwards, he complains that she is “pushing him.” He remains angry and shouts, “I don’t love you!”Janet identifies the common thread that could be causing these parents to doubt themselves and describes several additional examples parents have shared with her that fit this pattern. She offers suggestions for understanding and approaching these situations in a manner that ultimately curtails them.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:The Lactation Network. Just because lactation is natural doesn't mean it's easy. Visit: TLN.care/unruffledOur Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Emma Nadler is a psychotherapist, author, and parent whose life was changed forever when doctors informed her that her second child, Eden, had a rare genetic condition. As she became familiar with the complexities of her daughter’s diagnosis, Emma had to confront her preconceptions of motherhood, self-judgment, and especially her tendency toward perfectionism. In her conversation with Janet, she describes her complex journey through grief, joy, and loneliness as she navigates her unexpected life. Throughout, she shares a powerful message of acceptance when life doesn’t go as planned.  Emma's memoir "The Unlikely Village of Eden" is available wherever books are sold, including Amazon.Please note: Listening to this episode in no way creates a client/therapist relationship with Emma Nadler. This is educational in nature. No legal, counseling, or other professional services are being rendered and nothing is intended to provide such services or advice of any kind. If you are having a mental health emergency, please contact 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. You can also text or call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (in the United States).Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:The Lactation Network. Just because lactation is natural doesn't mean it's easy. Visit: TLN.care/unruffledOur Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
When scientist Anya Dunham was expecting her first baby, she decided to take a deep dive into the science behind various parenting techniques and philosophies. She was particularly drawn to the ideas Janet shares from the work of Magda Gerber and Emmi Pikler, because they complemented her own intuition. Anya joins Janet to discuss her research, how it supports the tenets of respectful parenting, and how parents can trust both science and their own intuition in the parenting experience.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Our Child Won't Listen

Our Child Won't Listen

2023-07-1117:011

The parent of a 4-year-old says he and his partner “have done the best we can to follow the principles of positive parenting,” but their boy has been refusing to follow instructions and often seems to ignore them entirely. His behavior is unsafe around their toddler and newborn, so this couple is struggling to remain calm and respectful. Janet offers them some insights and strategies to connect with their son and hopefully bring some peace to the household. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
A single mom writes that her spirited five-year-old “has found a new voice and physicality” lately, calling her names, hitting, and taunting her “to try to get a rise." This mom attempts to remain unruffled and contain her anger and sadness during these episodes, but she's wondering if her controlled response is making matters worse. Janet offers six steps for responding to her son in a more connected manner that she hopes will alleviate the behavior. She then applies these same steps to two other situations where parents describe how their kids are rejecting their efforts to engage and saying hurtful things: One whose toddler daughter is grieving the recent loss of her grandmother; another whose 6-year-old daughter reacts to her mother’s corrections with self-loathing statements like "I"m stupid, I don't want you to love me, I'm just the worst." Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
It’s common for young children to get frustrated as they're practicing and mastering new skills. As loving parents, it can be challenging to resist our urge to quell these feelings. We might try to talk our kids out of their frustration, or even complete the task ourselves. In this episode of Unruffled, Janet advises a mom who writes that her otherwise capable, confident two-year-old is easily frustrated. How can she respond in a manner that helps him develop more patience?Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
“I think families and particularly parents shy away from the term infant mental health. They think, Oh my goodness, does that mean that something is ‘wrong’ with my baby? And it does not mean that at all.” Janet’s guest is Dr. Angela Fisher-Solomon, an Infant Developmental Psychologist and RIE Associate with over 20 years of national and international experience in the Early Childhood field. Angela’s passion and the focus of her extensive work and research is building strong adult-infant/toddler relationships from birth, no matter what the circumstances. Every infant is unique, and every family dynamic is different. Angela strives to equip parents and professionals with tools to support and strengthen their relationships while nurturing each child's authenticity, resilience, and self-confidence.  Learn more about Angela's work and resources at: FIOTbabiesconsulting.com.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Becoming a parent changes us. The intense love we feel for our children makes us vulnerable to elements of their lives we don't control. Protective instincts are activated in us that we might never have known we had. From the time our babies are born, we're faced with a multitude of decisions about what we allow them to experience. Naturally, we want to empower our kids to feel capable and resilient, self-confident rather than doubtful, not anxious or fearful. But how do we know when we should let go and trust vs. say no and shield them? Are we saying no because it's too risky for our child, or because it makes us anxious? How can we manage and understand our fears? Janet's guest Dr. Tina Payne Bryson (co-author of “The Whole-Brain Child”) speaks to all of these questions with her usual brilliance and eloquence.Learn more about the resources Dr. Tina Payne Bryson offers at TinaPayneBryson.com and on her Instagram page: TinaPayneBrysonJanet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
As parents and caregivers, most of us know that it's a good idea to let our kids make choices. Offering choice is one of the ways we demonstrate respect for children as competent people. Making appropriate choices encourages them to be decision-makers and problem solvers, helps to foster a sense of autonomy, agency and healthy control in their world. In this episode, Janet shares how we can begin offering our kids choices even as babies and how as toddlers they crave choice as an expression of their burgeoning sense of self. Janet notes, however, that it can get more complicated. There will be times when offering young children even the simplest choice can seem to paralyze them in indecision. In other instances, they'll make opposing demands on us that can be confusing and infuriating. How do we navigate this? Janet explains by offering guidelines for when and how offering choices works best. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers: Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
In this encore episode (from the height of the Covid pandemic): Psychologist, author, and TED Talk superstar Susan David joins Janet to discuss how parents can nurture their children’s capacity to process difficult emotions, thoughts, and experiences. “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life,” she says, but we can help our children develop resilience and a capability to navigate uncomfortable emotions so they’re no longer scary. Susan offers advice how parents can instill confidence and a sense of well-being. The process begins with awareness, acceptance, and compassion for ourselves.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Children are wonderfully honest about what they’re feeling and thinking, and how they view the world around them. When they feel safe with us, they tend to lead from the heart, without filters. That can inspire some eye-opening and entertaining conversations! What happens, though, when our child openly makes observations or asks questions about another person's physical appearance or behavior? Or when they become fixed on an unsettling or argumentative opinion? Janet responds to 3 emails from parents who are (to varying degrees) uncomfortable with what their kids are saying and wonder if they should do more to correct and discourage them. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
It's Not Too Late

It's Not Too Late

2023-05-1623:24

Thoughtful parents write to Janet each week sharing concerns about relational dynamics they regret creating with their children. "Is it too late?" they ask. Janet's reply: "Never." In this encore episode, Janet responds to an email from the parent of three kids (12, 9, and 3) who has just recently found Unruffled. She writes: “Your methods and insights have been truly freeing and a paradigm shift in experience for me.” However, she realizes now that her parenting style has included shaming, inconsistencies, and a negative reaction to her kids’ emotions. She says her middle child especially is struggling as a result. She feels guilty and is wondering how to make things right. “How can I help them after all the damage I have done?“Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Creating intimate bonds with our children is the primary parenting goal for most of us, and there are enormous benefits. Our kids are far more cooperative when they're regularly reminded that we see and accept them. The mutual trust we foster creates a sense of safety that helps our kids stay more grounded and self-regulated, so there won't be as much challenging behavior. When it does arise, it will be easier to resolve. Most important of all, our parent-child relationships will be deeper, richer, more rewarding, and lifelong. Janet's guest Dr. Taniesha Burke is a researcher and parent coach who has extensively studied how parent-child intimacy works and what we can do to increase it. Dr. Burke and Janet discuss these findings and how we can apply them with our children and in all our relationships. Taniesha's website is: https://www.tanieshaburke.comJanet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Comments (53)

Angel K

on the dot advice.. my teenage son is being irritated n frustrated n got angry on me now a days.. I think he is struggling at hostel.. first time he is away from me n home. may b home sick too. I luv your podcasts 😍 thank you.

Sep 22nd
Reply

Jules Le Tanneur

That's a lot of things to do and not much letting go of extra things that we do 😅 The main energy-saving message is to try to make it natural and free-flowing rather than considering it a job, I guess.

Mar 11th
Reply

Thomas Nicol

this guy just rambles on and never actually explains what you DO

Feb 16th
Reply

Nelson gri

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Feb 12th
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Nelson gri

Have you been looking for a chance to join the Powerful illuminati brotherhood and you have met the wrong people who pretended to be illuminati master, well here is your chance to join the Illuminati brotherhood to be rich , powerful,famous , wealthy, protected and respected . The Illuminati is a brotherhood were Loved is share and plans to establish new world order you are receiving a million dollars as your first benefits to start new life once you become a member of the great illuminati brotherhood.not kidding. Message via WhatsApp +1(631)714-2689.

Feb 12th
Reply

J

saw play is in real life several times. definitely easier said than done.

Nov 17th
Reply

Hudson

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Aug 2nd
Reply

Franziska Scheumann

This is such a wonderful podcast with so many tips and explanations about children's development. It has changed my outlook on the whole parenting thing although I had been following a relationship oriented approach before but Janet and her calm way of talking about it helps me with a lot of real life situations. Thank you so much for your great work ❤

Feb 3rd
Reply

Concrete Angel

I needed to hear this today. thank you!

Nov 25th
Reply

Paulina Lach

This episode was dedicated especially to me, I have cried while listening. This woman described so well what I feel at the moment and my struggles. I have just started the therapy to fight off my childhood demons. Now I also know I am not alone in my experience. Thank you for all your amazing work Janet ❤

Oct 10th
Reply

Steph Rodrigues Bonyun

I just wanted to say that this podcast is one of the most important ones here and it brought tears to my eyes many times. It made me think about my chdhood, about me as a mom now, and about my kid 20 years from now. thank you for this. love Janet and everything you have been helping me understand about myself and hopefully about being a better human to my kid as well.

Sep 6th
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Bri Keasbey

it's frustrating that you don't have examples for children that are not adjusting to a new sibling in so many of your podcasts.

Aug 30th
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Danielle Delane

Many points I agree with. However, I feel on the topics of meltdowns and tantrums, I do not think it's good to let a child unravel the way its mentioned. Personally, I believe, yes, let your child feel what they feel; but help give them the tools to redirect them on HOW to process their feelings of anger and frustration in constructive ways. Tell them it's okay to feel angry, but allow them to explain why they're angry and give them the tools on what to do to healthily process that anger. It'll benefit the child as they get older. If it's a full blown meltdown (which is different than a tantrum as meltdowns are uncontrollable) then you put them in a quiet room until it passes.

May 28th
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Jennifer Thompson

I have to disagree with asking the child. I'm just in the process of getting out of the habit of asking a question or asking if it's okay when it's just the thing that needs to be done such as brushing teeth or going to bed. I say now it's time to do this. otherwise I was abdicating my leadership role and I am responsible for my kid. otherwise they would never brush their teeth or go to bed and they're too young to be able to take care of themselves in that way. using this phrase now it's time, has helped me gain some confidence and not be over attuned

Aug 28th
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Nicole Moreno Diaz

WOWWWW! the advertisement was extremely long !

Aug 18th
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Caris Saceanu Poynter

I think kids need help to understand and learn earlier on about feelings and thoughts.. use cbt techniques early on to have the skills later on in life

Aug 11th
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AshenFox

I tend to be color blind myself and I think it has influenced my views on racial police violence. Race has become like hair and eye color to me so I found it hard to understand or believe. However... As you discussed the carry over blame between minority students I realized that I had experienced something similar. Coming from a large family I often recieved blame and negative attitudes based on my siblings' actions simply because teachers grouped us together. Might be easier for majority groups to understand/believe when considering such analogs they can experience. Only this is in a massive scale where the authorities carry guns instead of textbooks.

Jul 15th
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no need for a username

It is somewhat elitist to say that it is a choice for parents to work and not to stay home with their child. My partner and I both need to work in order to pay the bills, and I would love to be able to make the choice to stay home with our child, but I do not have that choice to make, financially speaking.

Jun 21st
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Kristen Freeman

"when we learn to struggle we learn to live." love this.

Jun 14th
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Marie

Hi, I'm curious if there is an episode about toddlers and repeatedly saying things over and over? I've just started listening to latest episode

May 13th
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