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Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
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Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

Author: JLML Press

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Each episode addresses a reader's parenting issue through the lens of Janet's respectful parenting philosophy.

Janet is a respected parenting adviser, author, and consultant whose website (JanetLansbury.com) is visited by millions of readers annually. Her work informs, inspires, and supports caregivers of infants and toddlers across the globe, helping to create relationships of respect, trust, and love. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Episodes of "Sessions," a collection of intimate recorded phone consultations with parents, are available exclusively at SessionsAudio.com.

Recommended Best Parenting Podcast by "The Washington Post," The Bump, Fatherly, "Early Childhood Education Zone," and many, many more.

Copyright JLML Press (2020) All Rights Reserved
198 Episodes
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“Life in lockdown” is heightening a parent's struggles with her 3-year-old's uncooperative, defiant behavior, and this mom's patience is wearing thin. When she tries to correct her daughter’s behavior, or if she asks for her cooperation with calm and reason, she ends up repeating herself again and again and raising her voice. This escalation makes her feel exhausted, guilty and like a failure. She writes: “I lost my confidence as a parent somewhere, and I need to get it together, but I don’t know where to begin.” She wonders if Janet can suggest any changes in her parenting approach. Thanks to ThirdLove for sponsoring this episode. Go to www.ThirdLove.com/RESPECT to find your perfect-fitting bra and get 15% off your first purchase. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
Janet consults with a military mom of a 3-year old daughter who is trying to decide whether to accept a lengthy deployment. She wants to understand the effects it may have on her daughter and steps she can take to maintain their strong relationship. Her husband is also active-duty and travels regularly, but he is about to be deployed for several months, so she’s hoping Janet has some suggestions how to manage this extended separation as well as the transition when he comes back into their daughter’s life. Thanks to Rothy's for their continued support of this podcast. Browse at home through their incredible line of chic shoes and bags at www.Rothys.com/respect. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
Acclaimed early childhood educator and play-master Lisa Griffen-Murphy joins Janet to encourage parents to release themselves from the pressure of making play and learning happen for their kids. Lisa shares from her vast experience facilitating children's play in every environment imaginable. She offers specific, open-ended ideas for inspiring learning through play and assures parents that their kids know instinctively what they’re doing. Thanks to Ritual Essential Vitamins for sponsoring this episode. Go to www.ritual.com/respect to get 10% your first 3 months. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
In these rapidly changing, unsettling times, as families are hunkering down and lives are put on hold, Janet is joined by author and therapist Susan Stiffelman to answer a parent’s concerns about discussing current events with her 4-year old. She describes her daughter as inquisitive, sensitive, and a child who tends to ask a lot of questions, and she wants to be as honest as possible without alarming her. “I want to use language that is appropriate and that she can understand, but also have it in the back of my mind she tends to be anxious and worry about things.” For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
A parent describes her 4-year-old son as energetic, independent and strong-willed. While she appreciates her son’s enthusiasm, she struggles to reign him in and finds herself yelling, "You're not listening!" She says they often take nature walks with friends and he inevitably runs ahead at an unsafe distance. She feels overwhelmed, especially when they are out with other parents “that have high expectations for behavior." She hopes Janet can offer a way to help her son listen, but “without killing his free spirit.” Thanks to Rothy's for sponsoring this episode. Go to www.Rothys.com/RESPECT and check out their incredible selection of elegant shoes and bags. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
Is it okay to show emotion to our kids? Is it helpful? Too unsettling? A parent has questions for Janet about modeling self-regulation and healthy emotional expression to children. She writes: “These feel like life skills that are harder to explain to your child but can be shown in practice.” So, this mom wants to be authentic, but she also wonders if exposing her own human vulnerabilities through crying or anger would be too disturbing. "I would really value your thoughts to help unravel this contradiction in my mind." Thanks to ThirdLove for sponsoring this episode. Go to www.ThirdLove.com/RESPECT to find your perfect-fitting bra and get 15% off your first purchase. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
Nationally recognized educator and author Rick Ackerly joins Janet to discuss how parents can foster an environment that helps children thrive in school and in life. Like Janet, Rick’s own experience and interactions with thousands of kids have proven to him that children learn best in their own time, and in their own surprising ways. Rick and Janet discuss how parents can reduce their own anxieties about what and how quickly their children are learning and ultimately enjoy and appreciate them more. Thanks to NOOM for sponsoring this episode. Start your free trial today at www.NOOM.com/respect. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
A parent shares that she is frustrated and exhausted by her son’s clingy behavior. She describes a typical evening arriving home from work to find her boy waiting by the door, insisting she drop everything to sit down and play with him. If she tries to use the restroom, put some things away or eat dinner, this often causes a tantrum with her son pulling at her hands or clothing to go back and play. This parent says both she and her partner work full time and wonders if that may be causing the severe clinginess. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books. Thanks to Rothy's for sponsoring this episode. Go to www.Rothys.com/respect and check out their fabulous selection of shoes. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
Janet offers basic guidelines for responding mindfully when children get hurt, whether by accident or as the result of another child's behavior. She also addresses the specifics in a parent's note about her son's emotional responses to getting pushed or hit when she isn't close enough to prevent it. She says he seems "shocked" but fine, but he falls apart when adults surround him and express their urgent concern. “I can tell that it’s the reactions from the adults that has really upset and scared him.” While she hopes to prevent future events like this from happening in the first place, she knows that won’t always be possible, and she wonders how Janet would advise calming her son in the aftermath. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books. Thanks to Third Love bras for sponsoring this episode. Get 15% off your first purchase. Go to www.ThirdLove.com/Respect. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
Janet responds to a Facebook post from a parent who shares her personal dismay “at what children across the globe suffer and what they go without,” and she is distraught by her own children's apparent lack of gratitude and humility. While this mom admits her current mood may be the result of “post-Christmas blues,” she wants to instill these positive, empathetic traits in her own children. “How do you model this?” she asks. “I want to do better.” For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books. Thanks to NOOM for sponsoring this episode. Start your free trial today at www.NOOM.com/respect. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
After reading Janet’s book “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame,” a parent has some practical follow-up questions about his daughter’s behaviors; specifically in regard to tantrums, mealtime boundaries, and cooperation in cleaning up her messes. This dad says there are certain “values/etiquette” he would like his daughter to learn, but he realizes these qualities must evolve organically and can’t be coerced. He describes his own upbringing as disciplinarian, and he doesn’t want to expose his kids “to the same feelings of shame and mistrust.” For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
Dr. Tina Payne Bryson joins Janet to discuss what children need most from the adults in their lives to feel securely attached, self-confident, and happy. Tina outlines the truths that scientific research and her own experience show, and then using the parenting tools she describes in her new book “The Power of Showing Up,” she and Janet address an email from a parent who’s concerned about her two-year-old daughter’s disrespectful tone of voice. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). Thanks to Rothy's shoes for sponsoring this podcast. Go to www.Rothys/respect.com and check our their incredible selection of stylish, comfortable, washable, sustainable shoes.
A parent writes that her toddler is very aware of his emotions and even has several strategies to cope with the negative ones. One of these strategies is going to his room by himself. While this mom is “happy that he is aware of his emotions and (usually) redirects them before causing harm or throwing a full-blown tantrum,” she struggles with how long to let him isolate. She worries she may be encouraging him to mope or empowering his sour attitude. “I wonder if we should be more assertive in having him try alternative strategies.” Janet offers her perspective and advice. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). Thanks to ThirdLove bras for sponsoring this podcast. Go to www.ThirdLove.com/RESPECT and get 15% off your first order.
Janet responds to the parent of a 2-year-old who for the past 3 months has been “going through a really bad stage of pulling hair.” This parent describes herself as a Montessori teacher with an intense passion for gentle, respectful parenting. She has tried several strategies to change her daughter’s behavior, but to no avail. “I’m exhausted and have become extremely depressed and isolated because of this. I feel parents are judging me and not wanting to spend time with us.” She’s hoping Janet can offer some guidance, hopefully a solution. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). Thanks to NOOM for sponsoring this podcast. Start your trial here: www.NOOM.com/respect.
Janet shares ideas for traveling with small children that help us tune in to their perspectives, deepen our parent-child connection, and create a more joyful experience for all. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible -- FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks are also available at Amazon. E-Books are sold through Amazon, Apple Books, Google Play, and Barnes & Noble. Janet's audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
Janet welcomes back best-selling author Maggie Dent to discuss some of the particular challenges parents face in their quest to raise emotionally healthy children. "We need to let our girls know they can be strong and feisty and it's okay, and we need to know that there are times when our boys need to be vulnerable and sad, and that also needs to be okay." As we navigate our children’s moods and behaviors, Maggie believes that messy, even chaotic moments are normal in learning the dance that is parenting, and it is in these difficult times that we all grow. “It was never a perfect art form,” she says. “You're not a bad parent or a lousy parent. This is what parenting is.” For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble. Janet's holiday recommendations for books and gifts for children are available on her website here: https://cutt.ly/ne907MI
In response to a parent’s question about her 4-year-old’s habit of appropriating toys and clothing that don’t belong to her, Janet illuminates the underlying causes for some other troubling -- but common -- childhood behaviors. This mom writes that she has tried to explain to her daughter why the behavior is wrong and has been hoping that she will outgrow it, but it has only gotten worse. “I know it’s not about the things,” she writes. “She rarely cares about the thing once she’s brought it home.” This mom believes there must be underlying feelings motivating the behavior, but she doesn’t know what they are, so she’s hoping Janet can offer some insight. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). Thanks to NOOM for sponsoring this podcast. Start your trial here: NOOM.com/RESPECT.
A parent understands and supports Janet’s advice about accepting and holding space for her kids’ feelings, but she struggles to put it into practice. She describes herself as a highly verbal person and finds herself uncomfortable remaining silent in these moments. And often, when she does acknowledge her 5-year-old’s feelings, her child just gets more upset. This mom is seeking “some concrete examples of what acknowledging and allowing feelings actually looks like when my kids are expressing big feelings.” Sponsored by NOOM, the lifestyle app for self-care and weight control. Start your trial at www.NOOM.com/respect. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon. Also, Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
3 experts – 1 microphone… Janet is joined in a lively discussion by family counselor Susan Stiffelman and best-selling parenting author Maggie Dent. Together they explore some of the common issues affecting our children’s behaviors and offer steps parents can take to understand and address them. How do we respond when our child’s behavior seems problematic? Is it a reflection on us? And how do we communicate with our child to untangle what’s really going on and address the root cause? For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon. Also, Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
A parent is perplexed that her 4-year-old continually engages her in made up stories where the protagonist is in physical danger, sick, “does a bad thing,” is mean, or had to call the police. While this mom believes her child's interests are generally innocent, they've continued relentlessly for 6 months and she's becoming exasperated. “Is this normal exploration?” she wonders. “How do we handle it?” For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon. Also, Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
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Comments (31)

Erin McCracken Ferro

Please, please do an episode on how to talk to kids about Covid-19!

Mar 15th
Reply

Anitka Pena-Tomczak

Janet!hi!I absolutely love your approach,I needed to get some ideas what I can do to get my son out of situations where he needed his mama bear. And I did!keep on sharing 💞 I have got a question myself, how to convince my son to brushing his teeth? shall I make it in to a together activity or just wait and he will do it himself without me insisting etc.

Mar 12th
Reply

Anita Marković

Hi, I wanted to tell you that the sound is strange, like some echo, not pleasant for listening.

Feb 12th
Reply

Erin McCracken Ferro

Hi Janet, thanks for clarifying this parent's question. I'm still confused though. It sounded like a lot of the reason for the behavior was going back to the parent. I certainly don't go around hitting people and I'm not an aggressive person, nor do I speak harshly to anyone. I'm not sure what you mean by 'help your child' when they're taunting or hitting- what is the action one would take, a side from the words you described in the podcast? Thanks, I'm a big fan of your work!

Feb 7th
Reply

Taylor Drake

Love this episode and gave me such a wonderful perspective and new ideas for the approach I take with my son following the Holidays. Thank you for giving me the tools and power of understanding at his core what is going on when he is acting out and seems to expect and demand everything he wants. You're an amazing person and your lessons are priceless.

Jan 30th
Reply

Valerie B

love Susan! and you! (I don't know Maggie but I'm sure she's great too!) can't wait to listen to this:)

Oct 16th
Reply (1)

Rashida Rosemary

nice story

Oct 12th
Reply

Bastian Parsons

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Sep 26th
Reply

Michelle Redmond

This parenting podcast is a good example of respectful parenting that is permissive. Respectful parenting should not be permissive parenting. Allowing and encouraging children to abuse a mother because they are "releasing" their bad past is just not accurate to how psychology works. I'd steer clear of this one. It's not true respectful parenting.

Sep 23rd
Reply

Annette Reilly

what's going on with the add at start of podcast..so disappointed I nearly turned off podcast...😞

Aug 19th
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Natasha Lock

This podcast couldn't have come at a better time. I am going through a very similar situation with my two little ones and while I was understanding my toddlers state, I was having trouble understanding what to do - but it is so simple! Just be there. Good reminder too that I should put a pause on preparing dinner or whatever I am doing and take the 10-15 minutes with my child. Thanks Janet! Love your work.

Aug 4th
Reply

Elaheh Ahmadi

Loved this episode 🥰

Jul 13th
Reply

Salvör Thorlacius

Amazing! Thanks for this episode ❤️❤️

Jul 4th
Reply

Chelster

I feel this way often. This was helpful. Thank you

May 26th
Reply

Andrea Della Fave

What if the child bangs his head on the ground or walls during a tantrum?

May 21st
Reply (2)

Elizabeth2019

I have a sister in law that feeds into every tantrum of her 2.5 yr old daughter. If the toddler doesn't get what she wants, she says mommy mommy, with her arms up in the air. My sister in law then picks her up and coddles her. While she has responded within her own emotional pace and tone, I feel the body language is misleading. Do you agree with this response? What body language is appropriate for the three scenarios you outlined?

Apr 25th
Reply

Lisa Bannister

How do you mold children to listen I have a 6 year old son and a 9 year old daughter I tell them at least 5 times to put some thing away?

Apr 25th
Reply

Kirsty Bowles Heath

I literally have shared this with every single mom mate of mine with boys. xxx

Apr 5th
Reply

Kirsty Bowles Heath

I just loved this!!! thank you!!

Apr 4th
Reply

Melinda Waldron

very strategic

Dec 8th
Reply
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