Restored: Helping Children of Divorce

Am I doomed to repeat the mistakes I saw in my parents’ marriage? That question made me afraid of love—especially when I started dating. At times, it even made me not want to get married at all. And now, even as a married man, that fear still shows up. If you come from a divorced or deeply dysfunctional family, you probably feel it too. The question I kept asking: How do I avoid that? How do I not get divorced? And more importantly, how do I build a strong marriage? That’s what we explore in ...

For so many of us from divorced or dysfunctional families, the tension with our parents doesn’t just fade. It can grow into silence, distance, or even a total cutoff where we can become estranged from each other. But what exactly is estrangement, why does it happen, and how can you rebuild an estranged relationship? In this episode, we discuss that and more: The subtle ways parents (and children) unknowingly push each other awayWhy grief is often buried beneath family conflict—and how t...

In many places, we’re facing an epidemic of fatherlessnes. Fatherlessness not only leaves an invisible mark but it also shapes how you view yourself, how you handle your emotions, and how you love in relationships. So are fatherless children doomed? Not at all. In fact, Tommy shows how to compensate for what you didn’t receive from dad and how healing is within reach. In this episode, we also discuss: His dad’s spiral into mental illness, homelessness—and why Tommy hasn’t seen him in over a d...

So many of us from divorced or dysfunctional families never learned how to deal with pain and suffering in a healthy way. As a result, we usually either numb the pain or get stuck in bitterness. But what if you could not only learn how to navigate pain in a healthy way, but actually draw meaning from your pain and emerge stronger? That’s what we discuss in this episode, plus: The shocking diagnosis Jack received at 11—and how it rewired his entire futureWhy suffering always pushes you i...

When Brandy was only a few months old, her parents divorced due to her father’s alcoholism. From the outside, her story might seem like a “best case” scenario—she was raised by a courageous single mom and later a kind stepfather. But underneath it all, she carried wounds no one could see. She believed perfection was the path to love. She feared becoming like the very people who hurt her. One wound even stayed buried for 20 years. In this episode, we explore: The shocking memory th...

What is attachment theory? How does your attachment style impact your relationships? As an expert in attachment theory, Kirsty Nolan joins us to discuss all of that, plus: The four attachment stylesWhat happens when you have a secure attachment early in childhood, but later experience a rupture because of trauma, like your parents’ divorceTips on resolving conflict, specifically how to repair after a ruptureIf you’re curious about attachment styles or just want a healthy relationship, this ep...

What happens when you become your parents’ emotional confidant—their therapist—during a divorce? At first, it might feel like you’re helping. But eventually, it backfires and might even break you. That’s what happened to Cole. In this episode, we explore: How he went through his parents’ separation twice—and how each one affected him differently How he’s slowly rebuilding family relationships after stepping away to heal Why even small decisions felt impossible—and how he learned to choo...

So many of us feel depleted and exhausted, yet we might not know why. This is especially true for those of us from divorced or broken families. Research shows that children of divorce typically have worse physical health and more emotional problems. But thankfully, that doesn’t have to be your story. Going from depleted to healthy on every level is not only doable—but simpler than you think, according to my guest. In this episode, we discuss: 9 often-overlooked pillars of health tha...

AJ had a normal life as a college student-athlete. But one night, a violent car accident left AJ paralyzed from the waist down. What started as 15 minutes of hell has transformed into what he calls “The best thing that’s happened to me.” In this episode, you’ll hear: The detailed story of the accident and the unexplainable emotions he experienced in the minutes after the accident The two things that helped him cope and beat feeling like a perpetual victim What AJ said to the d...

At the root of our culture’s many problems is the breakdown of marriages and families. My guest shares sobering statistics, such as that “there are 31% less marriages annually now than in the year 2000” and there are “65% less marriages now than in the year 1970.” He says this is hugely contributing to the loneliness crisis today. Thankfully, there is a cure, which we discuss in this episode, plus: How the lonelinest group of people at church aren’t the old Encouragement for young peo...

Growing up, Dr. Gerry experienced deep turmoil at home. His father was abusive, and his parents’ marriage was full of conflict. When they eventually divorced, he felt like he lost both parents. Feeling alone, he became highly independent. Thankfully, he found healing, and today he helps others heal as a therapist. In this episode, we discuss: How Internal Family Systems (IFS) and “parts work” can help you heal emotional wounds and improve your relationships. The way our parts interact...

So many of us from divorced or broken families fear repeating our parents' mistakes. If you want to avoid that, one of the keys is building virtue. But what is virtue? How do you build it? And what virtues might you acquire? My guest today wrote Superhabits, an amazing new book on virtue. He answers those questions, plus: How to override the unconscious bad habits we inherited in our familiesOne habit that could save your marriage before it starts and what virtues to look for in a...

After a relapse into alcoholism, Ben’s mom left him, his family, and the country for years when he was just 5 years old. When she returned, he struggled in his relationship with her but placed proper boundaries and found some resolution. But his mom’s death in Ben’s late 20s brought new pain. In this episode, you’ll hear his wild story, plus: The resolution he experienced with his mom and an unexpected tactic that’s helped him heal after his mom’s deathThe place of justice, mercy, and b...

Has your parents’ divorce or broken family brought pain into your life? Do you fear repeating the cycle of dysfunction or divorce? You’re not alone—millions face these often unspoken struggles: hidden wounds, emotional problems, broken relationships, and destructive habits. Thankfully, you’re not destined to repeat your family’s dysfunction. In this episode, you’ll hear a breakout talk from the SEEK25 conference where you’ll discover the two keys to breaking that cycle and learn actiona...

At age 5, Dylan’s parents divorced. Visitation brought challenges, but he learned to appreciate the time it gave him with his dad, who really helped him grow. From that, he learned that good can come from broken situations. In today’s episodes, we also discuss topics like: How we need father figures, ideally our dads, in order to become men, find our strength, and learn what to do with itThe challenges and blessing of a stepfamilyHow your value isn’t measured by your performance or exterior q...