Room to Grow Podcast with Emily Gough

I certainly never expected to be coming to you with an episode about living through a devastating natural disaster and yet, here we are. Joining me is my beloved partner Kelly Gardner, a relationship coach and men's work facilitator, as we come to you recording from Kelly's childhood bedroom after evacuating from Asheville, North Carolina in the wake of Hurricane Helene. As we've witnessed events unfold that have shaken our foundation, we're having a raw, real and honest conversation about how these kinds of experiences can strengthen our relationships - particularly as a couple. This one is quite emotional as we are quite literally procesing our grief in real-time with you as the adrenaline has worn off, while also feeling so incredibly fortunate for everything that we have, including each other. In this episode, we cover: -The impact of crises on personal relationships -Navigating emotions and the importance of checking in with each other -How to maintain communication when disaster strikes -Trusting your partner during turbulent times -Strategies for asking for and offering support -Discovering the silver linings amidst chaos -The value of shared experiences in building resilience -How to transform challenges into opportunities for growth Join us as we explore how conflict and adversity can ultimately lead to greater intimacy and understanding within our relationships.   CONNECT WITH KELLY GARDNER Website: https://www.kellygardner.com  Instagram @iamkellygardner FB: https://www.facebook.com/connectwithkellygardner    CONNECT WITH EMILY COUPLES COACHING with Emily & Kelly Gardner (apply here) Book A Private Coaching Call With Emily To Work Together Get Your FREE Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here Join Emily’s email list here Follow Emily on Instagram: @emilygoughcoach Website: https://emilygoughcoaching.com/  BOOK: “You Grow Me: The Next Level Human Philosophy of Love, Sex and Romantic Connection

It’s often said that fear is simply “the unknown.” But the unknown is a void - it hasn’t happened yet, therefore, we can’t fear what doesn’t exist. Instead, fear is us projecting past experiences or other people's stories of what we think might go wrong into the future. Today, I’m going to share a different way to approach the “the unknown” in a way that creates excitement and intrigue instead of fear and anxiety. This episode includes a series of questions that will help prevent you from carrying those stories and experiences into the unknown, and instead carry much more awareness and self trust. With this simple reframe, you can stop acting out of fear, and begin acting from the place of ‘what if it actually all works out?’ In this episode, wer’e talking about: -Learning to trust yourself -Overcoming fear -Eliminating self judgement -Fearing judgement of others -Questions to ask yourself to help overcome fear My new book “You Grow Me: The Next Level Human Philosophy of Love, Sex and Romantic Connection” co-written by Dr. Jade Teta (Next Level Human podcast) is available now! It’s a big “f**k you” to unrealistic Hollywood love stories, and instead offers a fresh perspective on how personal growth is intertwined with romance. You can buy your copy of You Grow Me on Amazon here. Please read and let me know your takeaways! Email me or DM me on Instagram. CONNECT WITH EMILY COUPLES COACHING with Emily & Kelly Gardner (apply here) Book A Private Coaching Call With Emily To Work Together Get Your FREE Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here Join Emily’s email list here Follow Emily on Instagram: @emilygoughcoach Website: https://emilygoughcoaching.com/  BOOK: “You Grow Me: The Next Level Human Philosophy of Love, Sex and Romantic Connection REFERENCES Four Liberating Questions by Byron Katie  

If we don’t properly heal wounds of our past, they can easily get carried into our future relationships and show up, unprovoked. These can be traumas from childhood, school, past relationships etc., that activate our inner defences and, inadvertently, shield us from opening up to the love, joy and happiness of our new relationships - both with our partners and ourselves. Today, we’re talking with Master Empowerment Coach, Ali Olivier, about releasing past wounds and reclaiming our inner radiance. Here, she shares how she helps women and men unpack the layers of their past that get in the way of their present and future by getting back to the core of who we are, beyond the barriers. She also provides examples of daily practices for nervous system regulation and exercises for inner child work. In this episode, we’re talking about: -Inner child work and healing -Creating safety in our bodies -Expanding our window of tolerance -The role of anger in emotional health -The power of group healing -Balancing and honouring past and future versions of yourself -Healing from trauma -Carrying old pain into new relationships -Learning to trust yourself -Connecting to your body -How to distinguish intuition from anxiety -Re-parenting: becoming the parent you didn’t have -Creating boundaries with your parents -How trauma gets stored in our bodies -Exercises for releasing negative energy -Practices for nervous system regulation -Recognizing and releasing suppressed anger My new book “You Grow Me: The Next Level Human Philosophy of Love, Sex and Romantic Connection” co-written by Dr. Jade Teta (Next Level Human podcast) is available now! It’s a big “f**k you” to unrealistic Hollywood love stories, and instead offers a fresh perspective on how personal growth is intertwined with romance. You can buy your copy of You Grow Me on Amazon here. Please read and let me know your takeaways! Email me or DM me on Instagram. CONNECT WITH ALI Ali’s Website & Retreats  Ali Olivier on Instagram  CONNECT WITH EMILY COUPLES COACHING with Emily & Kelly Gardner (apply here) Book A Private Coaching Call With Emily To Work Together Get Your FREE Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here Join Emily’s email list here Follow Emily on Instagram: @emilygoughcoach Website: https://emilygoughcoaching.com/  BOOK: “You Grow Me: The Next Level Human Philosophy of Love, Sex and Romantic Connection”

After a very unintentional break, this is the first new podcast episode I’ve released in four months. And I want to give some insight into why. Firstly, I want to let you know that we are back with weekly episodes moving forward, and I'm very excited about it! I love the podcast so much. There is a very healing quality to it for me personally, just being able to speak things out loud. And here, I’ll update you on some massive life-changing transitions and beautiful manifestations coming to fruition in my life.  In this episode, we’re talking about: -Why I’ve been away from the podcast for four months -Navigating major life changes -Liminal space -Being overwhelmed by choice -Manifestation -Navigating uncertainty -The difference between anxiety and excitement -Being open to receiving -Building self trust -Getting over playing small And thanks to some of the beautiful humans who have reached out and asked about the podcast and shared with me how much it touches your heart, and that you've been missing it. I always appreciate your kind words via email info@emilygoughcoaching.com or DM on Instagram @emilygoughcoach  CONNECT WITH EMILY COUPLES COACHING with Emily & Kelly Gardner (apply here) Book A Private Coaching Call With Emily To Work Together Get Your FREE Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here Join Emily’s email list here Follow Emily on Instagram: @emilygoughcoach Website: https://emilygoughcoaching.com/  BOOK: “You Grow Me: The Next Level Human Philosophy of Love, Sex and Romantic Connection” REFERENCES: Episode 304. The Sacred Liminal Space: Between the Familiar & Completely Unknown  

The balance of personal growth and contributing to a thriving romantic relationship is all about being comfortable in your own skin, without seeking external validation, yet embracing our innate need for connection. It’s independence and interdependence…but not co-dependence.  I’m such a believer in this that I co-wrote an entire book about it called “You Grow Me” (link to buy below).  This episode is a cross-podcast with Lisa Carpenter’s “Full Frontal Living” podcast (find it here). Lisa is a remarkable coach who helped me through one of the most challenging periods of my life (I tell that story in this episode). Here, we focus on creating safety within oneself -  reconnecting with the body, nervous system regulation and the massive importance of personal responsibility within a relationship. In this episode, Lisa and I talk about: Creating safety within: the foundation of self-connection Self-discovery and healing from trauma The impact of childhood experiences on adult relationships Navigating jealousy and building trust The gender gap in personal development Detachment  Why a healthy relationship can be as confronting as a traumatic one Learning to listen to your intuition The presence of exes in a new relationship The grief of finally getting what you want Jealousy in a relationship Taking personal responsibility for everything in your relationship   My new book “You Grow Me: The Next Level Human Philosophy of Love, Sex and Romantic Connection” co-written by Dr. Jade Teta (Next Level Human podcast) is available now! It’s a big “f**k you” to unrealistic Hollywood love stories, and instead offers a fresh perspective on how personal growth is intertwined with romance. You can buy your copy of You Grow Me on Amazon here. Please read and let me know your takeaways! Email me or DM me on Instagram (contacts below).   CONNECT WITH EMILY WOMEN’S GROUP (begins May 1, 2024): “Your Grown A$& Woman Era” apply here  COUPLES COACHING with Emily & Kelly Gardner (apply here) Book A Private Coaching Call With Emily To Work Together Get Your FREE Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here Join Emily’s email list here   CONNECT WITH LISA Website: https://lisacarpenter.ca Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisacarpenterinc/ Podcast: Full Frontal Living   REFERENCES Episode 389 | LIFE IS FULL OF UNCERTAINTY, BUT YOU’RE GONNA BE OK WITH LISA CARPENTER Kelly Gardner on Instagram  

When it comes to our personal growth and development, many people get caught in a trap of “doing” instead of “being.” Doing is when we learn the things, do the homework, and then force our actions based on doing exactly what we think we’re expected to…even if it feels inauthentic.   But in order for the work to actually work, we have to embody it. We have to literally BE it. And to do that, we have to lean as hard as possible into our most authentic self. Today we’re breaking down how to tell the difference between “doing” and “being” and the incredible rewards we attract - relationships, opportunities etc. - that come as a result of the innate magnetic nature of being the truest version of ourselves. In this episode, we’re talking about: The difference between doing and being Why so many people struggle with doing instead of being How to attract the right relationships and opportunities How our energy affects our communication Living life to the fullest Accepting exactly where you are right now Why authenticity is so attractive An exercise to pinpoint where you feel most alive If you want to work with me to get to your point of “being” opposed to “doing” I have private 1-1 coaching spaces available to focus on this very subject. I’ve worked with a number of women lately on unleashing their own authenticity and the breakthroughs have been life-changing. Email me info@emilygoughcoaching.com or DM me on Instagram here and I’d love to get started! CONNECT WITH EMILY WOMEN’S GROUP (begins May 1, 2024): “Your Grown A$& Woman Era” apply here  COUPLES COACHING with Emily & Kelly Gardner (apply here) Book A Private Coaching Call With Emily To Work Together Get Your FREE Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here Join Emily’s email list here   REFERENCES Episode 339 | How To Become Wildly Magnetic

When we talk about how safe and secure we feel with someone we’re in a relationship with - romantic or other - we’re talking about emotional intimacy. It’s that deep connection we create and maintain with the truest version of both they and ourselves. Today, I'm going to list 16 surprising signs of true emotional intimacy. Surprising because they involve levels of both strength and vulnerability that aren’t often covered in the usual curriculum of personal development. In this episode, we’re talking about: How to stay connected to yourself The importance of honesty, no matter how painful it is Asking for your needs to be met Asking for help Accepting yourself at your worst How to practice presence Setting boundaries in every relationship Caring for your partner's wounds Pushing your emotional range   My new book is officially out! It’s called “You Grow Me: The Next Level Human Philosophy of Love, Sex and Romantic Connection” co-written by Dr. Jade Teta (Next Level Human podcast). It’s a big “f**k you” to unrealistic Hollywood love stories, and instead offers a fresh perspective on how personal growth is intertwined with romance. You can buy your copy of You Grow Me on Amazon here. Would love to know what you think! Email me or DM me on Instagram (contacts below).   CONNECT WITH EMILY COUPLES COACHING with Emily & Kelly Gardner (apply here) WOMEN’S GROUP: “Grown Ass Woman Era” apply here Book A Private Coaching Call With Emily To Work Together Get Your FREE Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here Join Emily’s email list here   REFERENCES Episode 371 | Lessons On Learning How To Receive Love In A Healthy Relationship Episode 385 | How Much Do You Value Yourself? Episode 390 | My New Book “You Grow Me” Is Out Today! (Free Preview Of Chapter 1) Episode 391 | Repairing Conflict In Your Relationship With Kelly Gardner 

Conflict is going to happen in a healthy relationship. And more often than not, conflict starts with something laughably small - from doing dishes, to making food, and even how to decoratively light a podcast. But underneath the menial cause of conflict always lies a much deeper need that isn’t being met.  I’m joined on this episode by my partner, Kelly Gardner, a Relationship Coach and Men’s Group Facilitator, and as you’ll hear, we couldn't even record this podcast without a small conflict of our own. Yes, it was something super small (how to decoratively light this episode for video) which we playfully recount, but then take you through our thorough resolution and beautiful potential of the conflict repair process.  Kelly and I also have spots open now for 2-on-2 Couples Coaching (apply here). These sessions are focused on breaking down walls, solidifying your relationship foundation, improving your sex life and designing the most supportive, fulfilling and loving relationship.  In this episode, Kelly and I talk about: Why conflict is so often over small things One partner taking leadership on certain things in a relationship Compassionate communication Assuming positive intent in others Trusting your partner through conflict Expressing your needs and asking for your needs to be met How to fully resolve a conflict in a relationship The repair process of conflict Discovering breakthroughs through conflict The essential elements of repairing conflict in a relationship How conflict is an opportunity to deepen your relationship Also, my new book is officially out! It’s called “You Grow Me: The Next Level Human Philosophy of Love, Sex and Romantic Connection” co-written by Dr. Jade Teta (Next Level Human podcast). It’s a big “f**k you” to unrealistic Hollywood love stories, and instead offers a fresh perspective on how personal growth is intertwined with romance. You can buy your copy of You Grow Me on Amazon here. Would love to know what you think! Email me or DM me on Instagram (contacts below).   CONNECT WITH EMILY COUPLES COACHING with Emily & Kelly Gardner (apply here) WOMEN’S GROUP: “Grown Ass Woman Era” apply here Book A Private Coaching Call With Emily To Work Together Get Your FREE Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here Join Emily’s email list here CONNECT WITH KELLY GARDNER Website: https://www.kellygardner.com  Instagram @iamkellygardner FB: https://www.facebook.com/connectwithkellygardner    REFERENCES Episode 377 | Hope After Heartbreak: Our Love Story With Kelly Gardner Episode 384 | Captain Save-A-Hoe & Queen Change-A-Dick: Lifelong Patterns That Harm Our Relationships Episode 359 | Building A Community Of Better & More Present Fathers With Kelly Gardner  

Today, I am so thrilled to announce the release of my first book “You Grow Me: The Next Level Human Philosophy of Love, Sex and Romantic Connection” co-authored with my dear friend, Dr. Jade Teta. It's all about creating growth-oriented relationships, rather than getting caught in the trap of “you complete me” and relying on other people, particularly our romantic partners, to fulfill our needs and happiness. This book leaves the bulls**t Hollywood love stories, Rom Coms, and Disney nonsense where they belong - in fantasy land - and instead lays out how to create a relationship where you can show up more confidently as your authentic self, which allows you BOTH to feel more deeply connected to each other. As a gift to you, I’m releasing Chapter 1 FREE in this podcast episode (links below to purchase). I sincerely hope “You Grow Me” helps you completely reframe the way you look at relationships - with both others and with yourself.  Please let me know what you think! I’d love your feedback on the book, please email or DM me with your thoughts and takeaways. And thank you so much for all your support throughout this podcast - “Your Grow Me” would never have happened without it! (PS: check out Episode 373 for a behind-the-scenes recollection of the frenetic, hilarious, and exhausting story of how we wrote this entire book in just 9 days).   BUY THE BOOK On Amazon:  “You Grow Me: The Next Level Human Philosophy of Love, Sex and Romantic Connection”   CONNECT WITH EMILY COUPLES COACHING with Emily & Kelly Gardner (apply here) WOMEN’S GROUP: “Grown Ass Woman Era” apply here Book A Private Coaching Call With Emily To Work Together Get Your FREE Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here Join Emily’s email list here   CONNECT WITH DR. JADE TETA Website: https://www.jadeteta.com/  “Next Level Human” Podcast Jade Teta on Instagram Jade’s FREE Book Course

Fear is basically uncertainty. It’s having no idea or proof of our own capability to handle the unknown. So how do we learn to overcome fear and simply trust ourselves that we have everything we need to handle any uncertainty? That’s where coaches like Lisa Carpenter come in. Lisa Carpenter is a remarkable coach who has changed my life in so many ways. She's the host of the Full Frontal Living podcast and has worked with thousands of people - seeing their depths, bringing out their best and helping them truly live to their full potential. Today we’re going deep on how to channel our innate gifts and abilities to handle whatever fear comes our way, while embracing uncertainty as a beautiful chance to grow. In this episode, Lisa and I are talking about: Learning to accept compliments and praise Why anxiety shows up in our lives Noticing your own red flag behaviours How to avoid procrastinating and avoiding tasks Learning to listen to and interpret emotions How to learn to trust ourselves Integrating what we’ve learned Expanding our capacity for discomfort The difference between openness and vulnerability Integrity: showing up as the same person online and offline The value of sharing openly in inspiring and serving others Navigating uncertainty and embracing discomfort The importance of authenticity and real connections Embracing change and making conscious choices I’d love to know where you are on your journey to building self-trust. Where are you getting stuck? Please reach out (contacts below) and I'd love to talk more about this subject with you. And thanks to Lisa for inviting me on her Full Frontal Living Podcast episode 253 - you can listen to that episode right here.    CONNECT WITH EMILY COUPLES COACHING with Emily & Kelly Gardner (apply here) WOMEN’S GROUP: “Grown Ass Woman Era” info here Book A Private Coaching Call With Emily To Work Together Get Your FREE Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here Join Emily’s email list here CONNECT WITH LISA Website: https://lisacarpenter.ca Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisacarpenterinc/ Podcast: Full Frontal Living   Podcast Producer: Adam Liefl

When we overthink our emotions, we under-feel them. This can have major consequences on both our relationships and our personal growth. Too often when faced with a negative or traumatic emotion, we intellectualize how we are feeling instead of allowing ourselves to accept, allow and feel it.  And by suppressing the bad stuff, we fail to fully learn how to feel the good stuff - the spectrum of emotions are what make up the beautiful, complete human experience.  This episode will teach you three simple, but necessary steps to begin practicing feeling instead of thinking when it comes to emotions. These are required if we want to have healthier and more meaningful connections with others and ourselves. In this episode, we’re talking about: Understanding the intellectualization of feelings Why we tend to think more about emotions than simply feel them How we interpret the same words differently based on our emotional state The importance of communicating how you’re feeling to your partner  Telling ourselves negative stories that skew our actual feelings Why we avoid accepting and facing our emotions Consequences of analyzing our feelings vs feeling them Communicating your emotions instead of venting your frustrations 3 practical steps to connect with your emotions Embracing the full range of human experience Is learning to feel emotions more deeply a challenge you’re working on? If this is something you’d love to talk more about, please reach out to me directly (contacts below) and I’d love to dive in with you personally.     CONNECT WITH EMILY COUPLES COACHING with Emily & Kelly Gardner (apply here) WOMEN’S GROUP (starts Jan 25, 2024): “Grown Ass Woman Era” apply here Book A Private Coaching Call With Emily To Work Together Get Your FREE Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here Join Emily’s email list here DM on Instagram: @emilygoughcoach Email: info@emilygoughcoaching.com  REFERENCES Episode 371 | Lessons On Learning How To Receive Love In A Healthy Relationship

Something new on the Room To Grow™ podcast for 2024: allowing you into some of my real life, unedited coaching calls with clients. We all share the same challenges and questions in our relationships, and my hope is that by inviting you into these incredible sessions, you’ll find answers and inspiration to integrate into your own situation. It’s also a taste of the incredible successes we can have together, so please reach out if this is the kind of work you’re finally ready to say F**K YES to (contacts below). This coaching call features Kelly, who, after breaking up with her partner, realized he was in fact the one, she just had too many self-protections activated from past relationship trauma. This is often what happens when our walls keep real love stranded on the outside, never allowed to penetrate. If you’re having trouble breaking down your own walls to allow love in, this session is definitely for you. (A huge thank you to Kelly for openly sharing and inspiring others with this breakthrough).   In this coaching call, Kelly and I discuss: Challenging the label of a “relationship” Codependency in a marriage vs healthy relationship Establishing and managing expectations in a relationship Why commitment doesn’t have to feel like shackles Knocking down emotional walls allowing love to enter Feeling safe letting someone into a relationship with you Learning to trust yourself How to overcome fear of communicating openly with your partner The difference between selfish vs. self-preserving How healthy relationships force us to come out of hiding Exercise: listing the fears you have in this relationship and coaching yourself through each If you’d like to address a current challenge on the podcast, you can apply to be featured here. You can also apply for couples coaching on the podcast here. Or check the details below on the different ways we can work together. And as always, please reach out anytime with your takeaways or topic ideas for the podcast - I’d love to chat!   CONNECT WITH EMILY COUPLES COACHING with Emily & Kelly Gardner (apply here) WOMEN’S GROUP (starts Jan 25, 2024): “Grown Ass Woman Era” apply here Book A Private Coaching Call With Emily To Work Together Get Your FREE Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here Join Emily’s email list here DM on Instagram: @emilygoughcoach Email: info@emilygoughcoaching.com    

It’s time to start fighting unreasonably hard for the life you want. I want this first episode of the New Year to remind you that waiting for things to feel easier, clearer and less scary are preventing you from taking the first messy, but critical steps in the right direction.  Even if you don’t have the end figured out, sitting around hoping everything will eventually manifest itself isn’t doing anything. I’m also sharing a couple new announcements for the Room To Grow™ podcast, news about my forthcoming book, and my 2024 Words of the Year - an annual practice that helps me stay undeniably committed to a particular goal, while helping make those big, hard decisions much easier. Try it for yourself! In this episode, we’re talking about: Why trying to manifest everything won’t work Redefining the stories we tell ourselves Taking action, even without the full plan in place Fearing the unknown and searching for safety How to manage fear and uncertainty How to avoid self-judgment Why we fear our own success How to build trust in ourselves An exercise for centering yourself and shifting your energy in the moment I say this every year, but this podcast is one of my favourite things I do as a Human Connection Coach. I absolutely love hearing from you on how these topics show up in your life and am always open to talking more about these and other topics you want to hear more about. Please email me or DM me on Instagram anytime!   CONNECT WITH EMILY COUPLES COACHING with Emily & Kelly Gardner (apply here) WOMEN’S GROUP (starts Jan 25, 2024): “Grown Ass Woman Era” apply here Book A Private Coaching Call With Emily To Work Together Get Your FREE Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here Join Emily’s email list here DM on Instagram: @emilygoughcoach Email: info@emilygoughcoaching.com         REFERENCES Episode 351 | Answering The Call Of What Life Is Asking Of You: Lessons & Reflections For A New Year Episode 195 | The Crushing Fears Of Both Failure & Success  

The most dangerous thing you can possess is self worth. Because from self worth comes freedom and empowerment to choose exactly what and who you want in your life. But because we live in a world that teaches us to look outside of ourselves for validation, accolades, approval, self-worth can be a major struggle. But when we stop auditioning for the approval of others and instead go inward and trust our own worth, it gives us the confidence to state our value to others.  This episode is all about stepping into your power and learning to ignore the junk that robs us of seeing our own self worth. It includes questions to ask yourself to establish how highly you truly value yourself. In this episode, we’re talking about: Stepping fully into your power: trusting instincts and intuition, learning to like you body, owning your sexuality Not letting others determine our value Why we often lower our self-worth as a defense mechanism The role of self-worth in relationships Fear of disappointment and its impact on self-worth Difference between compromise and self-betrayal The power of choosing yourself first in your relationship Not allowing past mistakes to define who you are becoming The freedom that comes from putting yourself first Choosing someone because you want them, not because you need them If worked your ass of and want to join other women in truly stepping into your full and absolute unworldly power, I have a brand new women’s group forthcoming called “Grown Ass Women Era” ...because it's damn time! Email me or DM me if you're interested or want to know more (IG: @emilygoughcoach)   CONNECT WITH EMILY **APPLY FOR COUPLES COACHING with Emily & Kelly Gardner** Book A Private Coaching Call With Emily To Work Together Get Your Free Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here Join Emily’s email list here Instagram: @emilygoughcoach Email: info@emilygoughcoaching.com        REFERENCES Episode 270 | Cultivating A Deep Sense Of Self Worth Episode 377 | Hope After Heartbreak: Our Love Story With Kelly Gardner Episode 384 | Captain Save-A-Hoe & Queen Change-A-Dick: Lifelong Patterns That Harm Our Relationships Episode 352 | The Subtle Ways Self-Abandonment Sneaks Up On Us  

It’s tempting to want to play the role of “superhero” in a relationship - the guardian, the savior, the teacher, or the protector. But over-prioritizing their needs over your own often has a villainous effect on a healthy relationship. Because if all of your focus is on their safety, wellbeing and nurturing, you then neglect what’s more important - your own.  My partner, Kelly Gardner, a Relationship Coach and Men’s Group Facilitator, and I have identified two (comically labeled) archetypes of the kinds of superheroes we often see in relationships: -Captain Save-A-Hoe: the man here to “save” and “heal” a broken partner. -Queen Change-A-Dick: the woman on a mission to help the lost boy grow into a great man. Today we’ll explain why you need to stop prioritizing your partner’s needs over your own, and how the foundation of a healthy relationship is really built on focusing on yourself, first. In this episode, Kelly and I are talking about: Why men often want to feel like a “savior” in a relationship Power dynamics in relationships Why women often put aside their own needs in a relationship How to balance giving and receiving in a relationship Expanding your sense of self in a relationship Waiting to be chosen by someone How prioritizing yourself first contributes to a better relationship Managing sexual energy inside and outside your relationship Including your partner in your life How to make your partner feel chosen   Apply for Couples Coaching with Kelly & Emily CONNECT WITH KELLY GARDNER Website: https://www.kellygardner.com  Instagram @iamkellygardner FB: https://www.facebook.com/connectwithkellygardner    CONNECT WITH EMILY Book A Private Coaching Call With Emily To Work Together Get Your Free Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here Join Emily’s email list here Instagram: @emilygoughcoach Email: info@emilygoughcoaching.com             REFERENCES Episode 377 | Hope After Heartbreak: Our Love Story With Kelly Gardner Episode 359 | Building A Community Of Better & More Present Fathers With Kelly Gardner Episode 364 | Not All Men, But Almost Always With Traver Boehm Of Man UNcivilized

I'm practicing something that's very uncomfortable for me: asking for what I need. Maybe you can relate. It's scary, because when we ask for something, it can bring up all kinds of issues for us. Old stories from childhood. Risk of judgement, rejection or abandonment. It's something I've spent most of my life avoiding, and instead convincing myself that I can hold it down myself without needing anything from anyone. Right now I'm in the middle of a two-weekend leadership intensive that pushes us to our edges, creating uncomfortable scenarios and situations that require us to make a decision about who we are versus who we want to become. It's an opportunity to be the version of yourself you think you are, and it's also deeply confronting. Some of the feedback I've gotten is that I don't allow people into my heart, and for someone who teaches about love, that was harsh to hear. But I see the truth in it, because it's safer for me to be open without actually being vulnerable. Not showing you the messy parts as I work through it. So here's my ask: as part of the assignment of the weekend, the 50 of us participating in the program have chosen a charity to raise $25k by tomorrow, Sunday October 29th @ 6pm Central.  We are raising money for Choose Love, an organization rooted in providing assitance in humanitarian crises and currently raising funds for urgent aid to the more than 2+ million people trapped inside Gaza and the displaced communities in southern Israel. Every donation, big or small, not only supports funding, volunteers and material aid to the most effective local organisations on the ground but also sends the message: that every person in need is seen, heard, and valued. No matter what your opinion on the conflict, it shouldn't be hard to have compassion for ALL humans. If you feel pulled to donate, please do so here and send it along to someone you know. If you'd like more information, you can check out Choose Love here.   REFERENCES Choose Love Inc Donate to the GoFundMe for Choose Love Inc   CONNECT WITH EMILY Book A Private Coaching Call With Emily To Work Together Get Your Free Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here Join Emily’s email list here Instagram: @emilygoughcoach Email: info@emilygoughcoaching.com  

The only thing more painful than brutal honesty is dishonesty. If we’re holding in our true emotions to avoid tough conversations, judgment or rocking the boat, we’re actually hurting our relationship more than helping it. Expressing how you are feeling is where trust is built and where relationships thrive. If you’re not being truly honest in your relationship, it will disintegrate over time, guaranteed. Honesty can be a tough pill to swallow. But the foundation of trust that comes with expressing your emotions is one of the most important parts of building a deep, loving and lasting relationship. In this episode, we’re talking about: When we say we're fine, but we’re not Why we’re often afraid to be honest How to build trust in a relationship How to handle when they overstep your boundaries The link between dishonesty and infidelity Projecting onto someone vs expressing how you’re genuinely feeling Why relationship skills need to be practiced How to better connect with people Why honesty is often a breakthrough moment for relationships Honesty in a relationship can be a difficult road to navigate. I hear this from clients all the time. If you want help with how to have that truly honest conversation you’ve been fearing, please reach out - I have private coaching opportunities available now. Email me info@emilygoughcoaching.com or DM me on Instagram @emilygoughcoach.    CONNECT WITH EMILY Book A Private Coaching Call With Emily To Work Together Get Your Free Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here Join Emily’s email list here Instagram: @emilygoughcoach Email: info@emilygoughcoaching.com          REFERENCES Episode 306 | Changing How We Define Emotional Strength & Recognizing Emotions As Data  

Nicole Walters has built an empire from virtually nothing. From growing up in poverty, to adopting 3 children off the street, creating a multi-million dollar business, a TV show, podcast and now the release of her new book “Nothing Is Missing: A Memoir Of Living Boldly” she’s helped to inspire others by teaching everyday people how to own their power and trust they already have everything they need to succeed. This incredible (and wildly energetic) conversation centers around love, divorce, motherhood, vulnerability and learning to be present. She also talks about how she built a thriving online community and the importance of prioritizing your relationship with yourself. In this episode, Nicole and I are talking about: Lessons learned from growing up in poverty Following through on promises Building a strong relationship with yourself Relationships and human connection The story of adopting her 3 kids off the street Building self trust and confidence Being present and appreciating your success Moving on from divorce How to build an online community Nicole Walters’ book, “Nothing Is Missing: A Memoir of Living Boldly” (Available October 2023) details the harrowing journey of discovering her self-worth, breaking past any barrier set in her way, and learning the vital lesson that everything she was searching for was already there. Check it out and let me know your thoughts! Email info@emilygoughcoaching.com or DM me on Instagram @emilygoughcoach   CONNECT WITH NICOLE WALTERS Book: “Nothing Is Missing: A Memoir of Living Boldly” Instagram: @nicolewalters Podcast: “The Nicole Walters Podcast”    CONNECT WITH EMILY Book A Private Coaching Call With Emily To Work Together Get Your Free Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here Join Emily’s email list here Instagram: @emilygoughcoach Email: info@emilygoughcoaching.com        

The next time you find yourself feeling down, lost, full of anxiety or just energetically off, it’s time to get back to the basics and reconnect with yourself. This episode covers 6 key questions to ask the next time you just don’t feel like yourself: Are you laughing? Are you sleeping? Are you moving? Are you nourished? Are you creating? What are you consuming?  …and I’m not just talking about eating better. Our constant ingestion of information, misinformation, opinions, comments and doom scrolling social media can often pin us under the weight of other people's energy. Let this be a quick reminder of the foundational tools needed for reconnecting with yourself - for both ourselves and our relationships.  In this episode, we’re talking about: Things that can cause unexpected anxiety Why the anxiety we feel might not even be our own Staying connected with yourself and the power of being comfortable with ourselves Gaining understanding of how things, people & seasons impact you How to create more joy in you life How we mistreat ourselves without knowing it How we’re impacted by other people’s energy This is an exercise I often do with my clients whenever these feelings come up. It seems so basic, but when it comes to relationships, it’s almost impossible for other people to get to know us if we don’t even know ourselves. Please listen, let me know if these questions are helpful, and if you’d like to dig in deeper with me, I have private coaching opportunities available: email me info@emilygoughcoaching.com or DM me on Instagram @emilygoughcoach. I’d love to connect!   CONNECT WITH EMILY Book A Private Coaching Call With Emily To Work Together Get Your Free Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here Join Emily’s email list here Instagram: @emilygoughcoach Email: info@emilygoughcoaching.com        REFERENCES Episode 263 | The Value In Being Alone On Purpose (Whether Single Or In A Relationship) Episode 302 | Self Love & Loneliness: Learning To Like Yourself  

From forgetting simple household chores to getting distracted during sex, adult ADHD can have a tremendous impact on a relationship. Today, we’re talking with ADHD Life Coach, Aaron Bailey about the frustrations, workarounds and ways of building a strong relationship with someone with ADHD.  In some ways, a partner can feel more like a parent. But that’s where patience, knowledge and communication become necessary in order to build strategies for living with ADHD in a relationship. As a person who has ADHD (combination type), a learning disability, generalized anxiety disorder and depression, Aaron understands the difficulty of the ADHD journey in marriage, fatherhood, work and everyday life. He now works to help others, including his own family, take proactive steps to learn about and accept ADHD as part of a happy, fulfilled life. In this episode, Aaron and I are talking about: How ADHD affects relationships The science of ADHD and getting an ADHD diagnosis (vs self-diagnosed ADHD) ADHD medication, particularly for youth and adolescence Important Focus Brain vs Interest Focus Brain Why those with ADHD are often highly emotional and/or sensitive Why ADHD causes forgetfulness and time blindness How ADHD affects sex life and intimacy Tips and workarounds for ADHD in relationships 3 keys for ADHD in relationships: patience, knowledge and communication The topic of ADHD in relationships came by request from a Room To Grow™ listener and I’d been searching for a long time for an expert to interview on the subject. I hope you learn as much as I did from Aaron and would love to hear what your main takeaways from this episode are. Please email me info@emilygoughcoaching.com or DM me on Instagram @emilygoughcoach.   CONNECT WITH AARON BAILEY Website: https://www.aaronbailey.ca/     FB: https://www.facebook.com/ADHDCoachAaron  CONNECT WITH EMILY Book A Private Coaching Call With Emily To Work Together Get Your Free Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here Join Emily’s email list here Instagram: @emilygoughcoach Email: Info@emilygoughcoaching.com