Ruthless Compassion with Dr. Marcia Sirota

We've reached an amazing milestone: our 200th episode of the Ruthless Compassion podcast!  Dr. Robert A. Neimeyer is a luminary in the field of psychology, particularly in the areas of death, grief, and loss. As Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of Memphis, Dr. Neimeyer's contributions to research and practice have been nothing short of transformative. With 37 books and over 600 articles to his name, he has been included in Stanford University/Elsevier's list of the Top 2% of Scientists in the world for advancing our understanding of grieving as a meaning-making process and its profound implications for human experience. Dr. Neimeyer's dedication to education is evident in his role as the Director of the Portland Institute for Loss and Transition, where he continues to mentor and inspire future generations of grief therapists. His leadership in the field has also found expression in his service as President of the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) and Chair of the International Work Group on Death, Dying and Bereavement (AWG). His accolades, including multiple awards from ADEC, the International Network of Personal Meaning, the Viktor Frankl Association, and the American Psychological Association among others, attest to the sustained impact of his work on the field. Today, we are privileged to benefit from Dr. Neimeyer's wisdom as he shares his expertise with us. www.portlandinstitute.org New book: Living Beyond Loss: Questions and Answers about Grief and Bereavement (https://www.routledge.com/Living-Beyond-Loss-Questions-and-Answers-About-Grief-and-Bereavement/Neimeyer/p/book/9780367143480) Use discount code ADC25 for 30% off and free shipping on routledge.com

Ira Chaleff (Chay-leff) is an author, speaker and executive coach in the greater Washington, DC area. • His extensive experience with government includes directing the non-partisan Congressional Management Foundation, where he is now Chair Emeritus. • Ira co-authored the original handbook for new Members of Congress, now in its nineteenth edition, and facilitated over a hundred congressional office retreats on both sides of the political aisle • He has led and participated in Democracy strengthening programs in Asia, West Africa and Eastern Europe. • His classic book, The Courageous Follower: Standing Up To and For Our Leaders, and his award winning book Intelligent Disobedience: Doing Right When What You're Told To Do Is Wrong, were translated into multiple languages including Russian and Chinese. • He has spoken on these topics at the the US Naval Academy, the US State Department, the Royal Military Academy, the European Commission, and too many others to list. • Ira was named one of the top 100 "Best Minds on Leadership" by Leadership Excellence magazine and a pioneer in the emerging field of Followership Studies. • His newest book, To Stop a Tyrant: The Power of Political Followers, has won several awards and received high praise from both sides of the political spectrum. Website: https://irachaleffauthor.com/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/feathermaid Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/irachaleff/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/irachaleffauthor

Dr. Eugene Lipov is a leading expert in treating posttraumatic stress and the pioneer of using Stellate Ganglion Block (SGB) to alleviate PTSD symptoms. Inspired by his own family’s struggles with trauma, he has dedicated his career to restoring hope for those affected. In 2006, he adapted SGB—an FDA-approved procedure since the 1970's for pain and circulation disorders—as a breakthrough PTSD treatment, later developing the Dual Sympathetic Reset (DSR) protocol for even greater relief. Beyond his clinical innovations, Dr. Lipov is a relentless advocate for redefining PTSD as post-traumatic stress injury (PTSI) to reduce stigma and shift public understanding. He has testified in 2010 before the U.S. House Committee on Veterans’ Affairs, collaborated with global military and medical communities, and published extensively in leading medical journals. His work has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Fox National News and NBC, underscoring his mission to make effective, science-backed trauma treatments accessible worldwide. Website: dreugenelipov.com Website: thegodshotbook.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/eugenelipov/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@dreugenelipov Instagram: dreugenelipov (https://www.instagram.com/dreugenelipov/) His book: thegodshotbook.com is being released February 17th, 2026.

NICK BRANCATO is a seasoned personal development coach and educator with over 25 years of experience helping individuals and couples connect, communicate, and thrive. With a master's degree in education and a background as a Microsoft systems engineer, Nick blends practical tools with data-driven frameworks to guide clients through life's challenges, including career shifts, financial pressures, and personal growth. Nick's holistic process incorporates meditation, guided visualization, and hypnotherapy, emphasizing both emotional insight and actionable steps. By fostering deeper connections and mental clarity, Nick empowers couples to transform tension into trust and misalignment into mutual success, creating lasting, meaningful change in their relationships. Website: https://nickbrancato.com/ Instagram: @personaldevcoach (https://www.instagram.com/personaldevcoach/) His new book: "Prioritize Us: Unlock Lasting Love with One Simple, Proven Test" (https://a.co/d/82Ul7KS)

JONATHAN KEMP is a mental health advocate, entrepreneur, and creator of SmartWisdom, a scientifically validated note-taking technique. Born into privilege as the future 3rd Viscount Rochdale, he built careers in law enforcement and entrepreneurship and undertook postgraduate study, unaware that bipolar disorder, depression, and dyslexia were shaping his life. His mental illnesses were diagnosed aged 39, when he finally sought professional help. Jonathan won the British Dyslexia Association's 'Entrepreneur of the Year' award in 2011. Website: https://www.viscountrochdale.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jonathankemplondon  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Jonathankemplondon  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jonathankemplondon Forthcoming book: "FINDING PEACE OF MIND: An Inspirational Journey Through Bipolar, Depression, Addiction and Dyslexia"

Chelene Knight is the author of five books including Safekeeping: A Writer's Guided Journal For Launching a Book With Love (Anansi 2025), and Let It Go: Free Yourself From Old Beliefs and Find a New Path To Joy (HarperCollins Canada 2024). She is founder of her own holistic creative studio, Breathing Space Creative through which she's launched the BSC Bespoke Writing Mentorships which are thoughtfully designed to help writers elevate their craft, deepen their connection to who they are, while learning how to build a writerly ecosystem that over time, gives back to them emotionally and financially. www.breathingspacecreative.com Instagram: @breathingspacecreativestudio  https://www.instagram.com/breathingspacecreativestudio/ Chelene's bespoke writing mentorships: "My 1:1 mentorship program is fully customized to each writer, diving deep into the craft of writing. We start by establishing your 'why,' your project's action, and your non-negotiables—giving you the clarity and confidence to move forward. While craft is a key focus, this mentorship goes beyond technique. It's about fostering a resilient, growth-oriented mindset so you can make aligned, intentional decisions about your creative life, while learning how to build a writerly ecosystem that over time, gives back to you emotionally and financially."  https://breathingspacecreativeliterarystudio.hbportal.co/public/6574b2217ad8ec0023b33ca1/1-What_is_Mentorship

Dr. Ashley Potvin was drawn to the Crown Institute by the mission, approach to research, and the dedicated and amazing faculty and staff. She was eager to work in a community that strives to live out its commitments to collaboration, inclusiveness, and equity. She was also excited to collaborate with educators to think deeply about compassion and wellness in schools. Ashley has a PhD in Curriculum & Instruction from CU Boulder with a focus on research on teaching and teacher education. She also has an MEd in Secondary Education from Providence College. Prior to starting her PhD, Ashley was a middle and high school social studies teacher. She has experience supporting teachers in various roles as a curriculum leader, a coach, and a university instructor. Social Media Handles:  Ashley's LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/aspotvin Renee Crown Social Media Website: https://www.colorado.edu/crowninstitute   LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/crowninstitutecu/  Instagram: www.instagram.com/crowninstitutecu  Facebook: www.facebook.com/CrownInstituteCU Co-author of the new book "Creating Compassionate Change in School Communities: Leading Together to Address Everyday Suffering in Schools", available now from Bookshop.org, Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and wherever books are sold. (https://a.co/d/5OGc4o9)

David W. Brown's career reflects resilience and service. He began in 1980 at the Naval Training Center in Great Lakes, Illinois, earning the Navy League award and later graduating as honor student from Radarman School. He completed BUD/S training with class 115 and earned Army Airborne wings before serving in UDT-21 and SEAL Team 4 across multiple continents. After 1985, he taught Naval Aviation Water Survival and earned a B.S. in Criminal Justice from Troy State University. In 1987, David joined NCIS as a Special Agent, later holding leadership roles with the EPA's Criminal Investigation Division and the Department of Interior's OIG. Retiring as a Senior Executive after 35 years, he now lives in Sanford, Florida, and advocates for public safety. His education includes programs at the Center for Creative Leadership, the Federal Executive Institute, and Harvard's Kennedy School. New book titled, "And Goliath: The Littlest Navy SEAL's Inspirational Story About Living Your Biggest Life." Website: www.udtdave.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheLittlestSEAL YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/@udtdave  Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/udtdave/ #udtdave

Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald is a researcher, author, and trauma expert who's been studying the mind's response to overwhelming experiences for 15 years. She holds a PhD, has written four books and over a dozen research articles, and specializes in reframing trauma through the lens of neurobiology, resilience, and empowerment. Her latest book, The Joy Reset, explores six barriers that block us from accessing joy - and how to get it back. Dr. McDonald blends science, storytelling, and deep compassion to help people reconnect with hope, healing, and their own inner strength. Learn more about Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald: TikTok: mc.phd (https://www.tiktok.com/@mc.phd ) Instagram: mc.phd (https://www.instagram.com/mc.phd/) Her latest book, The Joy Reset: Six Ways Trauma Steals Happiness and How to Win it Back.

**Thank you to this episode's guest, Benny of Muted Circus, for permission to use a clip of his song ("Wait for What") in this podcast episode. ** In the latest episode of the Ruthless Compassion podcast I speak with Benny, who makes music under the name Muted Circus.  Benny is a trained musician (violin, viola, electric bass, guitar, etc.) and a graduate of the Berklee College of Music. After briefly touring with a Sony artist and seeing things from the inside he got disillusioned with music and set it aside completely to do other things. But when his artist father was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, music rushed back in. What started as one song led to two, which led to three, and on and on, which ended up becoming a 10 EP x 50 song cycle. Each song explores death, mourning, loss, and aging in its own way. Half instrumental, half vocal. Benny is gearing up to release the 10th and final EP of the Muted Circus project and is ready to share his story. You can check out his music on Spotify, YouTube, and Instagram. Listen to his song, "Wait for What" (discussed in this podcast). (https://open.spotify.com/track/07lyO9589z0elcgLg7alQr?si=7e9a6cb2d2194f4b) Follow him on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mutedcircus?igsh=MW52anUyczlwdHkzNg==  Listen to his music: https://open.spotify.com/artist/3BGFACqqp9d8Go9aGL26RZ?si=hb_76ZdtRvW949yeEGV2UA  Check out The Starting Gun (Spotify Track) Instrumental Songs Collection (Spotify Playlist) *Permission granted by the artist to use a clip of his song ("Wait for What") in this podcast episode.*

A sociologist, psychotherapist and social worker, Ross Ellenhorn's work focuses on the importance of social worth and connections in psychiatric recovery. In 2002, he founded Ellenhorn, the robust program in the country serving individual experience extreme events of mind and mood outside of residential and hospital settings. In 2022, Ross co-founded CARDEA, a groundbreaking practice centered around psychedelics, assisting seeking to overcoming psychological anguish and individuals looking for greater awakening in their lives. He has published three books on Human behavior, the last, "Purple Crayons: The Art of Drawing a Life" by Harper Collins, explores the significance of play in modernity.

Julie Wignall received international acclaim for her trailblazing accomplishments in environmental practices, animal care, and leadership working with Mirage Resorts, a Fortune 500 company. Her unconventional career path has given her first-hand experience working with innovators in national politics, conservation, international business, television, and the arts. Along her unconventional journey, Julie encountered many remarkable people who, like her, had forged uncommon pathways to create meaningful change. Julie coined the term "Fireflies" to describe these visionaries: people you see beyond what is and take action to create a better reality. She shares her story and those of others in her multi award-winning book, The Extraordinary Power of Fireflies: How to Shine Your Light Brighter and Transform the World. Today, Julie is a sought-after consultant, workshop leader, coach, and speaker. She empowers changemakers with the tools to align with their purpose and amplify their impact as she shares what is possible when individuals harness their light to transform the world. Social Media:  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ExtraordinaryPowerofFireflies  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/extraordinarypoweroffireflies/  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/julie-wignall-38548668/ Multi award-winning book, "The Extraordinary Power of Fireflies: How to Shine Your Light Brighter and Transform the World" PROMO: Free download of "Flying Lessons for Fireflies" and Free discovery call, found at www.extraordinaryfireflies.com

Dr. Hillary Cauthen is a clinical sport psychologist based in Austin TX. Hillary was a division 1 college track athlete, before embarking on a career focusing on the mental health and mental performance dimensions of high performers. She studied and competed at the University of New Hampshire, and Miami, Ohio, before completing her Doctorate in Clinical Psychology at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology, in Los Angeles. Dr. Cauthen is the Founder of Texas Optimal Performance & Psychological Services. Formerly served as the Director of Organizational Wellness & Performance for Austin FC and the performance psychologist for the San Antonio Spurs, where she developed their mental performance and wellness programs. Dr. Cauthen has developed private businesses that bring mental wellness curriculum to school districts across the nation, as well as an analytics company that helps predict the behavioral risk factors in players for teams in the NFL, NBA, NHL, MLB, and Premier League. Her work with high performance is breaking down stigma across communities which is highlighted in her book, "Hello Trauma, Our Invisible Teammate." and her podcast "The Highs & Lows of X's & O's" Website: https://www.txopps.com/ Instagram: drcmindset (https://www.instagram.com/drcmindset/) Book: Hello Trauma, Our Invisible Teammate (https://a.co/d/2oI2hsa)

Darlynn is a recovering "mad mom". After spending the first 5 years of parenting yelling at her kids and feeling like crap, she massively transformed herself and her approach to parenting by diving into a self-healing journey that led her to become a certified life coach and parenting expert. Now, she's on a mission to heal the next generation in advance by helping moms find true calm, gain skills to parent with compassion, and manage misbehavior without using shame or fear. Since 2012, Darlynn has worked with hundreds of families and helped them thrive. She's also been featured talking about Raising Emotionally Healthy Children on the Becoming You Again podcast with Karin Nelson and was named as one of the 11 Leading Parenting Coaches to Rely on in 2024 by the San Francisco Examiner. The Calm Mama Club is a parenting mentorship program with all the tools and support you need to get calm and raise emotionally healthy kids. Inside, you'll learn Darlynn's signature 4-step Calm Mama Process. You also get access to weekly group coaching calls, the Calm Mama Handbook and a library of courses with topics ranging from sibling fights to screentime. IG: @darlynnchildress  FB: @calmmamacoaching Free "Stop Yelling Cheat Sheet"  Join the Calm Mama Club Learn more about Darlynn and her work: https://www.calmmamacoaching.com/  Consult link: https://darlynnchildress.as.me/chat

Fredric Schiffer is an assistant professor of psychiatry, part-time, at Harvard Medical School and a research associate at McLean Hospital. He has developed a theory of psychology that is the subject of his recent book Goodbye Anxiety, Depression, Addiction, & PTSD: The Life-Changing Science of Dual Brain Psychology. The theory has been studied extensively at Harvard and its support and applications have been articulated in multiple peer-reviewed publications. Dr. Schiffer is also the Founder and CEO of MindLight, LLC which has received 2 SBIR grants from the US National Institute on Drug Abuse. He has a private practice of psychiatry in Newton, Massachusetts, USA Social Media Handles:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.fredschiffer/ Dr.fredschiffer mindDoc7S!   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Fredric-Schiffer-MD/61560456878989/  Twitter: Drfredschiffer  Youtube: @Dr.FredSchiffer  Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fredric-schiffer/

Toni Bergins, M.Ed., is an embodiment trailblazer who has taught at the premier holistic healing centers for the last 27 years. She is on the faculty at the Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health, and has worked there as a movement artist, dance educator, expressive arts workshop leader, and expert in creating transformational workshops. Her new book is, Embody: Feel, Heal, and Transform Your Life through Movement (Health Communications Inc., Oct. 29, 2024. Learn more at journeydance.com. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/toni.bergins/  https://www.facebook.com/ToniBerginsJourneyDance/  https://www.facebook.com/JourneyDance/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonibergins/?hl=en  https://www.instagram.com/journeydanceofficial/

Michelle D. Sherman, PhD LP ABPP (she/her) is the co-author of Loving Someone with a Mental Illness or History of Trauma (written with her mother) and a licensed clinical psychologist who has dedicated her career to supporting families dealing with a mental illness or trauma/PTSD. She has worked in diverse settings, including the Veterans Affairs (VA) healthcare system, private practice, and academia as a Professor at the University of Oklahoma and University of Minnesota Medical Schools. Dr. Sherman is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association (APA), and is Board Certified in Couple and Family Psychology. She is the Editor in Chief of Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice, the journal of APA's Society of Couple and Family Psychology, and was named their Family Psychologist of the Year in 2022. She has published over 75 articles in peer-reviewed journals, and has given several hundred workshops nationally and internationally. She served on the Board of the Oklahoma National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for 14 years and now enjoys volunteering with the Minnesota NAMI affiliate. DeAnne M. Sherman (she/her) is the co-author of Loving Someone with a Mental Illness or History of Trauma (written with her daughter), a mental health advocate, French teacher, and choreographer. She graduated from St. Catherine University in St. Paul, Minnesota, where she received degrees in French, education, and speech and theater. She volunteers with NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness)-Minnesota, gives workshops with her daughter about mental illness in the family, and mentors people of all ages in the performing arts. DeAnne's mission is to affirm, educate, and empower others; she has strong passions for combating stigma, offering hope to people who are hurting, celebrating diversity, and promoting open discussion about mental health. The collaboration of psychologist and teacher, daughter and mother, brings true synergy to their work. The Shermans draw from their personal and professional life experiences which are the inspiration and foundation for their work. Twitter (X) @DrMichelleSherm  Facebook: Seeds of Hope Books Michelle Sherman Facebook (personal): DeAnne Sherm Instagram: Seeds_of_Hope_Books  LinkedIn: Michelle Sherman, PhD LP ABPP Book: Loving Someone with a Mental Illness or History of Trauma: Skills, Hope, and Strength for Your Journey: (https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Mental-Illness-History/dp/142145050X/ref=sr_1_2?)

Dr. Supatra Tovar is one of the only clinical psychologists in the country who is also a registered dietitian and accredited fitness expert. Dr. Tovar's unique background and integrated specializations allow her to provide holistic mind-body treatment for trauma, eating disorders, depression, and anxiety for children and adults. Dr. Tovar has numerous scholarly and professional presentations at several national conferences on a variety of health topics, including the detection and treatment of disordered eating, dissociation, weightism, and mindfulness interventions for eating disorders. Dr. Tovar earned her doctorate in psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology and has two master's degrees, a Master of Science in Nutrition and a Master of Arts in Psychology. She is a member of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics and the American Psychological Association. Since founding her first Pilates studio almost twenty years ago, she has been designing exercise and nutrition programs as well as helping clients emotionally and mentally heal. She created ANEW Insight to inspire and guide a client's journey to improving their relationships with their mind, body, and spirit. Connect with Dr. Supatra Tovar: Official site: drsupatratovar.com  Official site: anew-insight.com Instagram: @drsupatratovar Instagram: ANEW Facebook: @drsupatratovar Facebook: ANEW  LinkedIn: Dr. Supatra Tovar Threads: @drsupatratovar Threads: ANEW   TikTock: @drsupatratovar TIkTock: ANEW Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@my.anew.insight YouTube: @my.anew.insight Book: Deprogram Diet Culture: Rethink Your Relationship with Food, Heal Your Mind and Live a Diet-Free Life.

Sacha Mardou is a cartoonist and long-form graphic novelist who lives in St Louis, Missouri with her family. Working in both fiction and autobiography, her comics explore interior experiences such as mental illness, emotional dynamics within families, and healing from trauma. Her latest book is Past Tense: Facing Family Secrets and Finding Myself in Therapy (Avery, October 2024). @Mardou_Draws (IG)  @sachamardou (FB)  https://www.mardouville.com/  https://ifscomics.com/ https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/714479/past-tense-by-sacha-mardou/

*Trigger Warning: This episode mentions suicide. If you or anyone you know are struggling with thoughts of suicide please reach out to the Suicide Crisis Helpline at 9-8-8 (available anywhere in Canada).* Stacy Blemaster grew up in Shaker Heights, Ohio. She received a BA from Brown University in theater and then went on to be licensed in counseling and human services, earning a MA from John Carroll University. She has two autistic sons, and a daughter- all now adults. She resides in Placida, Florida, with her husband Robert and two Golden Retrievers, Libby and Lacey. Instagram: StacyBlemasterauthor Website: https://stacyblemaster.com/ Her new book: To Be or Not To Be: Shedding an As-If Personality Email: stacyblemaster@gmail.com