Sage Family

“Ceremony is the point in time when we all know it’s time to stop . . . and honor something or someone. Ceremony is the time and the place. And ritual, those are the elements within ceremony that get us deeper, that actually encourage us to pause and find meaning. So the elements of ritual: things like symbolism, the activation of the senses . . . all of those things get us to here, now, which then helps us with the other element—what is the story underneath the story?” Magdalena Garcia joins me in today’s episode about Ceremony. Magdalena is a mother, educator, writer, birth story listener, parenting coach and ceremony facilitator. We discuss the religion gap, tools for creating ceremonies, birthdays, transitions, birth, teenagers, and holidays. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast95.

“What happens when you don’t teach a whole group of people to understand their emotions is that they become extremely emotionally dysregulated . . . it then tends to be a woman who is tasked with modulated that partner’s expression, especially when there are kids involved and you’re trying to be a buffer between that temper—that mood—and your children.” Rose Hackman joins me in today’s episode about Emotional Labor. Rose is a British journalist and the author of Emotional Labor. We discuss what emotional labor is, how it develops, the problem of it being invisible and unvalued, how men are also harmed by patriarchy, how to make our relationships more egalitarian, and what changes we could make in society to value emotional labor. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast94.

“I believe that all humans have a right to ownership over their body, over their mental, spiritual, emotional autonomy and consent is kind of a way to ensure that it’s not just us being autonomous everywhere but we are also respecting other people’s boundaries and right to be autonomous. My autonomy ends where yours begins.” Fran Liberatore joins me in today’s episode about Consent. Fran is a writer, podcaster, Masters student and ex-educator, as well as an unschooling mother of two children. We discuss what consent is, why it matters, how it connects to adultism, how to create a culture of consent in our homes, making consent-based decisions, consent-based education, to what extent children are able to consent, and if everything has to be arrived a through a collaborative process. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast93.

“We have to give them the neuroscience. This is going to strip any shame. It’s going to make it easier for them to turn and face and own their behavior. We really have to turn these feelings into allies and friends.” Karen Young joins me in today’s episode about inner warriors (anxiety). Karen is a psychologist, speaker, consultant, the founder of Hey, Sigmund, and the author of Hey, Warrior. We discuss ways anxiety shows up in kids that are often not recognized as anxiety, how we can frame anxiety for our children, how to guide our own nervous systems back to safety, how to support a child through co-regulation, how to hold boundaries for safety while holding space for big feelings, why repair is important, how to help our children through hard experiences so they don’t get stuck as traumas. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast92.

“It shifts your communication dynamic from one that might be negative to one that’s positive. It moves it from demand based or power struggles to connection and partnership.” Linda Murphy joins me in today’s episode about Declarative Language. Linda is a speech language pathologist and RDI® Constultant. We discuss social learning differences, imperative vs declarative language, examples, benefits, social learning examples, pacing, and co-regulation. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast91.

“Limits are the thing parents struggle with the most and it’s one of the most important pieces of the puzzle. Until you feel confident and competent in your limit setting skills, it’s going to be really hard to help your child through aggressive behaviors.” Tosha Schore joins me in today’s episode about Aggression. Tosha is a parent coach and the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully, where she is on a mission to create a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time. We discuss boys, aggressive play, brains, fear, connection, communication, playfulness, and limits. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast90.

“The thing that we most see is the increase in intrinsic motivation just all over the place.” Gina Riley joins me in today’s episode about Unschooling Outcomes. Gina is an educational psychologist, Clinical Professor, and Program Leader of Adolescent Special Education Programs at CUNY-Hunter College. We discuss advantages, disadvantages, higher education, career, motivation, and disability. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast89.

“A demand is anything that is too hard in the present moment. And that can be for you or them. As a family, we have found the language of ‘too hard’ to be incredibly freeing. When things are hard, we show up, we do our best, we’re brave, we ask for help. And when things are too hard, we find a way to let it go.” Amanda Diekman joins me in today’s episode about Low Demand Parenting. Amanda is an autistic adult, parent coach and author in the neurodiversity space with a new Low Demand Parenting book, online courses, and a vibrant membership community. We discuss low demand parenting, permissiveness, power dynamics, emotions, and tips, techniques, and strategies to shift to a more low demand approach. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast88.

“We get to upgrade the mother within us. We get to move toward a sense of our mother’s essential self as the part that gets to mother us. If our mother were completely supported, if she had gotten to receive her re-mothering, if she had gotten to heal her emotional trauma, if she had gotten to live with resonance and self-warmth, what would she be like to us? How would she be in relationship with us? We get to bring that essential being in to become the mother that we carry in our cells.” Sarah Peyton joins me in today’s episode about Self Compassion. Sarah is the bestselling author of Conscious Uncoupling and an award-winning marriage and family psychotherapist. We discuss unconscious contracts, resonance, self-warmth, neuroplasticity, default mode network, hemispheres, body-centered awareness, vagus nerve, accompaniment, the time-traveling amygdala, and circuits. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast87.

“Connection is the substrate of parenting and that rests on my connection to myself. When I have connection, the creative possibilities are endless just as they are when I have connection with my children. We come out of a stuck place and the space between us opens up and there is so much more room for everyone’s experience in that connection.”  Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer join me in today’s episode about Menstruality. Alexandra and Sjanie are the co-founders of Red School, and co-authors of the iconic and hugely celebrated book, Wild Power, and their new book Wise Power. We discuss menstrual cycle awareness, the inner seasons, and how to honor our cyclical needs in parenting shifting 1% at a time. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast86.

“Children behave their way to safety.” Claire Wilson joins me in today’s episode about Polyvagal Theory. Claire is an author, speaker, trainer, and therapist with her book Grounded and her program Grounded Grown Ups, who uses Polyvagal Theory to help children and their grown ups. We discuss the autonomic nervous system hierarchy, being grounded, neuroception, trauma, co-regulation, and autonomic flexibility. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast85.

“They’re holding you in that false narrative probably because you’ve enrolled them into that story. You know, we’re always informing other people who we are. So if I have a story, ‘I’m not good enough,’ there’s all sorts of ways that I’m going show up as, ‘I’m inferior and they’re better than me,’ so when they leave because of that, it’s validating the old story. So you have to go in and do this correction on a soul level.” Katherine Woodward Thomas joins me in today’s episode about Conscious Uncoupling. Katherine is the bestselling author of Conscious Uncoupling and an award-winning marriage and family psychotherapist. We discuss changing the definition of success from longevity, the pain of detaching, how we’ve been doing divorce wrong, conscious uncoupling without our partner’s participation, transforming difficult emotions, curating an empowering narrative, breaking our patterns, creating a positive future, building a new life, and rituals for uncoupling. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast84.

“In terms of equality, if my son perceives himself below anything, he’s going to have a stress response, like a lion’s in front of him.”  Casey Ehrlich, Ph.D. joins me in today’s episode about PDA. Casey is a coach to parents raising PDA Autistic children and is the co-founder of the PDA Parents community and podcast. We discuss what PDA is, Casey’s personal journey raising a PDA child, parenting style, accommodations, nervous system disability, support, and fears. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast83.

“If we’re in our comfort zone as parents, we’re probably holding them back.” Chris Balme joins me in today’s episode about tweens. Chris Balme is an education leader and writer, passionate about helping young people discover more of their human potential. We discuss how we misunderstand tweens, what’s going on with their development, how they learn best, how we can best support them, how our parent-child relationship shifts, ideal middle school, and common challenges and we can better meet them. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast82.

“How will you know when you’re done?” Ash Brandin joins me in today’s episode about video games. Ash is a middle school teacher who has been putting gaming principles into practice for over ten years. A gamer, educator, and parent, they help families raise kids with a balance of gaming, responsibilities, and other hobbies. We discuss research, blame, systemic gaps, amount, replacement, division of responsibility, benefits, frustration, violence, and an off-ramp. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast81.

“It’s a great thing to always have someone to rescue you, but to always need to be rescued is such a vulnerable way to live, such a limiting way to live. You don’t want your child to feel like they always need to be rescued.” Dr. Eli Lebowitz joins me in today’s episode about childhood anxiety. He studies and treats childhood anxiety at the Yale Child Study Center and through his SPACE program and Breaking Free of Childhood Anxiety and OCD book. We discuss why accommodations can be problematic, what true support looks like, where to start, making a plan, telling your child, responding to aggression, and navigating when co-parents disagree. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast80.

Gentle parenting is a journey, not a destination, and it’s one that did not start with you and will not end with you. Mr. Chazz joins me in today’s episode about caring for kids. His mission is to help adults truly see, guide, and trust children. We discuss his journey into conscious discipline, intergenerational trauma, perfection, and calling in. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast79.

Today I’m here with Amy Lang talking about Sexuality. Amy has been a sexual health educator for over 25 years. We go over preparing ourselves for conversations about sex with our kids, setting our kids up to have a healthy relationship with their bodies, handling nudity in the house, responding to masturbation, explaining menstruation and where babies come from, boundaries to equip our children with to keep them safe from sexual harm, supporting teens in developing a safe, healthy, and enjoyable sex life, and discussing abortion. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast78.

Today I’m here with Dr. Cassidy Freitas talking about Boundaries. Cassidy is a mom to three, California based Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice and host of Holding Space podcast. We go over what boundaries are, the distinction between requests and boundaries, the essential role of acceptance, when a boundary is warranted, not fearing intense feelings showing up from holding a boundary, having hard boundary-setting conversations, offering a redirect with a boundary, and receiving boundaries in a healthy way. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast77.

Today I’m here with Julie Bogart talking about Critical Thinking. Julie is a mom of 4 grown homeschoolers, creator of the online writing program Brave Writer, and author of the books The Brave Learner and Raising Critical Thinkers. We go over what critical thinking is, why it’s important, what gets in the way, how we can get there, how we can raise our kids with it, how they will eventually use that critical thinking in their relationship with you, and how we can bring it into our relationships with technology. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast76.