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Savage Lovecast

Author: Dan Savage

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Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savagelovecast.com and get yourself a season subscription.
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Savage Love Episode 691

Savage Love Episode 691

2020-01-2100:48:294

Scootch closer, ya'll. It's Bible study with Dan Savage. On with the show: A happily single woman finally broke down after pressure from her friend to have some sex. Against her misgivings, he convinced her to pursue a relationship, promising that if it didn't work out, they could go back to being friends, easy-peasy. Guess what! Now that she wants to break it off, he can't deal with being just friends AND they are starting a business together. Please take heed to this cautionary tale. A pregnant woman can't stand the consistency of her husband's thick, slimy spit. If he drinks more water, will it change? Can she demand he do so?   On the Magnum, Dan speaks with writer Michal Daveed about hypno-kink. You know, erotic hypnosis? She explains how god damn sexy it can be, and dispels some myths too.   And, hear a most UNwholesome tale about what goes down under the mistletoe. Seriously, that whole mistletoe thing has always been a recipe for disaster, don't you think? 206-302-2064   voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. ThredUP is the world’s largest online thrift store with over 35,000 brands at up to 90% off retail price. For a limited time, get up to 30% off your first order at . This episode is brought to you by Calm, the #1 app for sleep and relaxation. For a limited time get 25% off a Calm Premium subscription at .
Savage Love Episode 690

Savage Love Episode 690

2020-01-1400:48:476

Hand-wringing women, am I right? First we have a lady who feels guilty about masturbating at night when her partner is snoring next to her. And another woman feels guilty about "objectifying" her new cross-dressing boyfriend. Is it wrong to be attracted to him in his female garb? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan chats with John Moe, from the Hilarious World of Depression podcast about being a depressed person, or dating one. And, if you dare, hear all about the disturbing things a woman found in her husband's workshop including greasy rubber gloves, feces-stained towels, empty wine bottles and underpants with holes cut out of them. Good lord, this call. 206-302-2064. Or email it to voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at . This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to and use the offer code Savage. This episode of the Savage love cast is brought to you by Everlane: Luxury basic clothing and accessories, made at ethical factories without those retail markups. For free shipping, and to support the Lovecast, go to
Savage Love Episode 689

Savage Love Episode 689

2020-01-0700:49:098

Why, oh why (bemoans this woman,) is it that the indie, cool, female-owned sex stores never carry dildos that are big enough for her? WHY?! A gay man has been invited to be the man of honor at his sister's wedding. But you know what's weird? The sister is marrying a racist, anti-gay creep who has convinced her that the caller (and all gay people) are degenerates. So. Should our caller carry out his man of honor duties nonetheless? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan chats with Michael Hobbes, co-host of the "You're Wrong About" podcast, about the misinformation swirling around the concept of human trafficking. And a 20 year-old woman is dating an older man. He wants to have kids one day. She is nowhere near considering such a thing. But when they have sex, she gets turned on by talking about getting knocked up. Is it unethical to engage in pregnancy dirty talk with a man who wants to be a dad? This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code SAVAGE. Thanks to Roman for supporting Savage Lovecast. Roman is a men’s health company that offers remote online diagnosis for ED and convenient monthly delivery of medication. For a free online, visit This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
Savage Love Episode 688

Savage Love Episode 688

2019-12-3100:47:234

It's kind of the bad actors show. A biting biter bit her boyfriend and drew blood. He didn't like it, so she calls him a baby. A dude wonders if can catch a contact high from sleeping with someone who is on meth. A man is miffed because a couple who came to the wedding didn't sent them a gift. Dan sternly chastises them all. People! It's 2020! Behave yourselves! On the Magnum, Dan interviews journalist L.V. Anderson about the history of herpes hysteria. And, vampire porn: How popular is it? Let's have some stats. This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women's sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to . ThredUP is the world’s largest online thrift store with over 35,000 brands at up to 90% off retail price. For a limited time, get up to 30% off your first order at This episode is brought to you by Calm, the #1 app for sleep and relaxation. For a limited time get 25% off a Calm Premium subscription at .
Savage Lovecast #687

Savage Lovecast #687

2019-12-2400:47:167

A formerly repressed man is discovering his wild side. He and his wife like to do it in quasi-public in the mountains. He just got her a remote controlled vibrator, and wants to see if he can get her off in a restaurant. But is this ethical? Will people notice? Dan interviews the co-author of a study that finds that women tend to trust gay male shopkeepers over women shopkeepers. They theorize that women find another woman selling beauty products and clothes can't be trusted because their reptile brains tell them they in competition for mates. So that's depressing... Merry Christmas! An 18 year-old woman has started seeing a 21 year-old guy who claimed he was celibate, but sure doesn't act like it. She thinks he's lying to himself and her. She just wants to bone him already. Should she put him out of his celibate misery? And finally, did ya'll know they sell octopus at Costco? This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by : a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women's sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to OMGYES.com/Savage. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode of the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Blue Apron. Check out this week’s menu and get $60 off at
Savage Love Episode 686

Savage Love Episode 686

2019-12-1700:50:108

The show begins with an insecurity vampire. You know the kind. A person who sucks you dry with their endless need for praise and reassurance. This man is dating one, but is she entirely to blame? It's complicated. And, it's a wedding battle royale! In one corner we have our caller getting married to a man who has a child by a previous marriage- living out of town. In the other corner is the fiancé's mother, who wants to minimize contact between the kid and the caller. Whose side are you on? Grab some popcorn and listen in. On the Magnum, Santa's rollin' up! What's he got this time? Well, if he listens to resident sex toy expert Erika Moen (and he does,) out tumbles a massive cache of marital aids, including a cock sleeve that spins! A bullet vibe! A dual density dildo! "Sex in a Can! " And a Sex Machine. Like an actual machine. Not Santa himself. Is it January yet? And finally, a lesbian is in a stable, joyful, poly relationship. But she is grappling with a new partner in the scene, who has a medical condition that causes her to burp and fart ALL THE TIME. It's driving the caller bonkers. She considers this a real torment. We consider it podcast gold. 206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode of the Savage love cast is brought to you by Everlane: Luxury basic clothing and accessories, made at ethical factories without those retail markups. For free shipping, and to support the Lovecast, go to This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code SAVAGE. Thanks to for supporting Savage Lovecast. Native makes safe, simple, effective products that people use in the bathroom everyday with trusted ingredients and trusted performance. For 20% off your first purchase, visit nativedeodorant.com and enter promo code "Savage" during checkout.
Savage Love Episode 685

Savage Love Episode 685

2019-12-1000:51:022

Hot tubs. Are they a safe, relaxing haven or a menacing vector of disease? Here's a poly peril. What do you do when you really, really don't like your boyfriend's other boyfriend? On the Magnum, all of your chastity cage questions are answered, including "Chastity cages? What are you even talking about?" Dr. Ashley Winter is a urologist, sexual medicine specialist and the co-host of "The Full Release Podcast." She knows her stuff. And, when your wife wants to go to the Amazon to hunt for psychedelic drugs with a former lover, how do you deal with all the...feelings? 206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to and use the offer code Savage. ThredUP is the world’s largest online thrift store with over 35,000 brands at up to 90% off retail price. For a limited time, get up to 30% off your first order at . This episode is sponsored by Honey- the free browser extension that scans the web for coupon codes and discounts while you shop online. Get Honey for FREE and save some money.
Savage Love Episode 684

Savage Love Episode 684

2019-12-0300:53:006

A man went on a date and he felt fireworks. But later that she told him that wasn't feeling it, but wants to be friends. He doesn't need friends. He already has friends. Should he bother? This question is pretty simple. Her new lover has a gargantuan penis that is shaped like a sweet potato. How on earth is she supposed to accommodate him? On the Magnum version of the show, meet the woman who read every single one of Dan's newspaper columns since he started writing them in 1991. You could say she is a sex expert expert. She has some wisdom to share. And, a kinkster living in a repressed Asian country has a masochistic friend who asked him to arrange a very dangerous scene for her. How can he set this up and also keep her safe? OH, the Danger! 206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com Thanks to Roman for supporting Savage Lovecast. Roman is a men’s health company that offers remote online diagnosis for ED and convenient monthly delivery of medication. For a free online, visit This episode is brought to you by Pill Club: the birth control subscription that is delivered right to your door. Get a special care package with your first delivery. Go to . Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to .
Savage Love Episode 683

Savage Love Episode 683

2019-11-2600:51:155

A man is getting re-married. Is it shoddy to use the same officiant as his first wedding? Dan talks to a woman who had a blurry encounter with another woman as a very sexually repressed Christian school. Her lover called it rape the next day. It's been ten years, and in this #MeToo era, the caller wonders if she should find the woman and apologize. On the Magnum, a biseuxal woman wonders how she can reconcile being shy and also explore her sexually dominant side. Dan brings the wonderful Midori, wholeads the ForteFemme Women's Dominance Intensive. She knows her stuff, and will surely help churn out an army of joyfully dominant women. Also, Dan issues a tutorial on how to talk dirty without being vulgar. Ok Miss Manners...206-302-2064 This podcast is brought to you by . Click on the microphone and enter "Savage" for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial. This episode of the Savage love cast is brought to you by Everlane: Luxury basic clothing and accessories, made at ethical factories without those retail markups. For free shipping, and to support the Lovecast, go to This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
Savage Love Episode 682

Savage Love Episode 682

2019-11-1900:50:085

A woman is concerned about her friend. Why? Well, for one, she is in a 24/7 dom/sub relationship with an abusive ex-con. They have kids, and the friend is open with them about the nature of her marriage. Is it possible to explain in a healthy way that mommy is actually a slave? We've been getting a lot of calls just like this one lately: a woman has a crush on her bandmate. He's married and it would ruin everything. But still...(You musicians are HORNY.) On the Magnum, sure, gender reveal parties are unnecessary and annoying, but did you know that they have become...DEADLY? Emma Gray from HuffPost is on to discuss why gender reveal parties suck, basically.   And, after 12 years, a woman finally got out of the toxic relationship with the father of her child. She's free! But, he still begs her to have sex, and they had great sex. Should she take him up on it? What do you think? 206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode is brought to you by . Get 50% off just about any item, plus free shipping when you enter the offer code "Savage". This episode of the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Blue Apron. Check out this week’s menu and get $60 off at ThredUP is the world’s largest online thrift store with over 35,000 brands at up to 90% off retail price. For a limited time, get up to 30% off your first order at .
Savage Love Episode 681

Savage Love Episode 681

2019-11-1200:49:035

A woman wants her boyfriend to pee inside of her. Cool, cool. But he is pee shy! How can he get over it? A woman and her man love threesomes with women. But they don't want kids. Should they warn their unicorn that if she happens to get knocked up they will have no part in the parenting of her kids? Sssssexy! On the Magnum, Dan chats with worker's rights advocate Elle Stanger about the ongoing disaster that is SESTA/FOSTA. A 21 year-old man and his lady both live with their parents, and they have no place to make sweet love. So they do it in the car. But they keep getting caught, once by the police. Is it time to demand some privacy at home? How? 206-302-2064 Or email your question to voicemail@savagelovecast.com This podcast is brought to you by . Click on the microphone and enter "Savage" for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial. This episode is brought to you by . Get 50% off just about any item, plus free shipping when you enter the offer code "Savage". This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to and use the offer code Savage.
Savage Love Episode 680

Savage Love Episode 680

2019-11-0500:52:468

A young woman slept with her pal's ex about a year ago in one drunken evening. Now she is wracked with guilt. Should she tell her? A gay proofreader lives in a repressive country. He is tasked with fixing grammatical and spelling errors. One of his clients has written a novel riddled with homophobic tropes and forehead-slapping inaccuracies about gay people. Should he bring this to the writer's attention, or keep his head down and stick to "they're" vs. "their" mistakes? On the Magnum, Dan interviews Dr. Alain Brunet, Professor of Psychiatry at McGill University about a drug that acts as a cure for heartbreak. Wait what? How?  Dr. Brunet claims the drug (also used for PTSD) "weakens your memories" and makes them stop hurting. Okay.... And, is there an epidemic of erectile dysfunction? All the guys our caller hooks up with can't seem to close the deal. Bummer. Call us with your bummers. 206-302-2064 Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to . This episode is brought to you by . Get 50% off just about any item, plus free shipping when you enter the offer code "Savage". This episode of the Savage love cast is brought to you by Everlane: Luxury basic clothing and accessories, made at ethical factories without those retail markups. For free shipping, and to support the Lovecast, go to
Savage Love Episode 679

Savage Love Episode 679

2019-10-2900:50:399

A tale of two subs: What to do when both people in a couple are subs? Find one dom to rule them all? Take turns? A woman is super-duper annoyed that her Trump-lovin' brother is throwing a gender reveal party. Are they inherently unacceptable? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan casts about for a straight man to help him answer questions, and finds actor/comedian/author Michael Ian Black to discuss infidelity, betrayal and REVENGE. Also, a lesbian with Asperger's can't tell if her co-worker is flirting with her or not. Tricky stuff. 206-302-2064 This podcast is brought to you by . Click on the microphone and enter "Savage" for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial. Thanks to Roman for supporting Savage Lovecast. Roman is a men’s health company that offers remote online diagnosis for ED and convenient monthly delivery of medication. For a free online, visit ThredUP is the world’s largest online thrift store with over 35,000 brands at up to 90% off retail price. For a limited time, get up to 30% off your first order at .
Savage Love Episode 678

Savage Love Episode 678

2019-10-2200:47:4612

A woman was apparently dating Genghis Khan. He told her he had had a vasectomy, but she got pregnant anyway. And so had a bunch of other women he dated. Her lawyer says she has a battery case. Her friends tell her to chill out. What do you think? A married woman has a very dear gay male friend. She wants to go on vacation with him. But is this too much? Too close? Too weird?  On the Magnum, are we sick of drag yet? No. No, we are not. Dan brings on the ever-delightful Simon Doonan to talk about the drag moment we're having, and his new book "Drag, The Complete Story." A woman has been with her boyfriend for 9 years- since middle school. No surprisingly, she's getting bored with the sex. They want to remain monogamous, but how can they "spice things up?" Swingers clubs? Exhibitionism? Other adventures? Dan has ideas! So do you. 206-302-2064 This episode of the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Boll and Branch: luxury, affordable fair trade certified sheets. Get $50 off a set of sheets plus free shipping by going to and enter Savage. This episode of the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Blue Apron. Check out this week’s menu and get $60 off at This episode is brought toy by Tushy- the modern bidet attachment that washes your ass completely. Go to and get 10% off your order with promo code SAVAGE. Stop wiping and start washing with TUSHY.
Savage Love Episode 677

Savage Love Episode 677

2019-10-1500:47:348

A woman has vowed to never date a Trump voter. But she lives in a small conservative town, and she's getting lonely... A woman did some sex work a couple years ago. She's dating someone new and wonders if, when or how to tell him. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Joan Price, author of "Naked at Our Age" about how to combat the effects of early menopause. Poor unicorn! Her couple broke up! Should she ask the lady in the (former) couple if she can continue to be with her ex? Awkward! 206-302-2064 This episode of the Savage love cast is brought to you by Everlane: Luxury basic clothing and accessories, made at ethical factories without those retail markups. For free shipping, and to support the Lovecast, go to This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $65 off your first month, go to and use the offer code Savage.
Savage Love Episode 676

Savage Love Episode 676

2019-10-0800:50:143

An open-minded but shy woman has a gaggle of friends who all talk about sticking their fingers in their boyfriends butts- to everyone's delight. But the caller isn't into it. Is she depriving her boyfriend of this singular pleasure? A woman got a tattoo and felt turned on by the experience. Her husband reaped the benefits of this lust later that night. But is it wrong to secretly perv on her tattoo artist? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Elle Chase, author of "Curvy Girl Sex" about LOVING YOUR BODY, damn it, and some other things too. Like having two very different sized boobs, and the message it sends when you have a dizzying array of sex toys hanging over your bed. This is a delightful conversation and therefore, you should listen to it. Also, a gay man is dating a masculine "thug" type who delivers in bed, but won't go out on a date in public. Hmmmm. 206-302-2064 This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter "Savage" for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial. Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage. ThredUP is the world’s largest online thrift store with over 35,000 brands at up to 90% off retail price. For a limited time, get up to 30% off your first order at ThredUP.com/SAVAGE.
Savage Love Episode 675

Savage Love Episode 675

2019-10-0100:51:075

An anonymous LinkedIn contact has asked a woman if she would be his FinDom. He would give her money every week in a form of submission to her. But he refuses to reveal his identity. Should she take him up on it? Would you? A gay man has an out-of-town friend who is straight, conservative and engaged to be married. But when the caller was checking out gay hook-up apps he discovered his friend there. Should the caller reach out to his closeted friend and let him know he knows? Try to stop the wedding? Offer support? Or pretend he never saw a thing? On the Magnum, did you know that bisexual women are huffin' and puffin' that delicious weed way more than straight women? Why would this be? In this "What You Got?" Dan brings on Dr. Morgan Philbin from Columbia University to discuss her research. (For access to this study, Email Dr. Philbin: mp3243@columbia.edu) And, a gay man has been checking out a guy at the gym. Is he gay? Or just working out? Are his smoldering looks being reciprocated? How can he get to the bottom of this sexy mystery? 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $65 off your first month, go to and use the offer code Savage. This episode is sponsored by Honey- the free browser extension that scans the web for coupon codes and discounts while you shop online. Get for FREE and save some money. Go to     This episode of the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Boll and Branch: luxury, affordable fair trade certified sheets. Get $50 off a set of sheets plus free shipping by going to and enter Savage.
Savage Love Episode 674

Savage Love Episode 674

2019-09-2400:48:276

It's your typical story: Man has sex with girl who has only 2 fingers on one of her hands. Man never calls girl again because he only wanted casual sex anyway. Years later, man feels guilty for not calling girl with disability because he worries she will think he ghosted her because of her weird hand. Man calls homosexual sex advice podcaster for absolution. A man and his wife are embarking on some sex club explorations. Dan chats with the man about how to stay safe and keep his head together and his marriage strong. Also, there is talk of glory holes. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Michael Seligman, co-host of "Mob Queens" a podcast about some deliciously sordid gay history. Finally, a woman was hooking up with a guy who came on her chest and then licked it up. So far so good. But her friends, including her gay male friends, are grossed out to hear this detail. What is going on here? Why the squick factor? 206-302-2064 This episode of the Savage love cast is brought to you by Everlane: Luxury basic clothing and accessories, made at ethical factories without those retail markups. For free shipping, and to support the Lovecast, go to Thanks to Roman for supporting Savage Lovecast. Roman is a men’s health company that offers remote online diagnosis for ED and convenient monthly delivery of medication. For a free online, visit The Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Dame Products: a woman-founded sex toy company. Visit to check out Eva- the hands-free vibrator.
Savage Love Episode 673

Savage Love Episode 673

2019-09-1700:55:369

A married woman has just hosted her mother-in-law in their small apartment. After seeing her husband and his mother interact, she just doesn't fell like having any sex at all. How can she clear out the in-law vibes? Morning! A woman emerges from sleep in the full throes of an orgasm. But her dream was mundane and not even close to sexy. What in god's name is going on here? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Dr. Lehmiller of the Kinsey Institute about whether men and women are equally kinky. And, a young man wants to ask out a bunch of women at work. What is the best approach? 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code SAVAGE. ThredUP is the world’s largest online thrift store with over 35,000 brands at up to 90% off retail price. For a limited time, get up to 30% off your first order at .
Savage Love Episode 672

Savage Love Episode 672

2019-09-1000:53:057

A woman's boyfriend used to achieve orgasm with ease. But now he can't come from penetration. The caller worries that in her boyfriend's eyes, she has become the madonna, when she used to be the whore. Dan speaks with a bisexual man, whose first attempt at unicorning (yes, we verbbed the word "unicorn,") went poorly, mainly due to his straight couple maybe getting a little too drunky? Anyway, next time will go better, brave unicorn! On the Magnum: Dental dams- Nobody uses them. That is the consensus illuminated by Anna Waters of The Atlantic. Also, Dan chats with Orna Guralnik- the shrink featured in the  new docuseries "Couples Therapy." This podcast is brought to you by . Click on the microphone and enter "Savage" for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial. This episode of the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Blue Apron. Check out this week’s menu and get $60 off at Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to .
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Comments (21)

Derbassspieler

I loved that the tech savvy at risk youth sped up the outro 😂

Aug 7th
Reply (1)

Kevin Wages

great show!

Jul 9th
Reply

Kamille Martin

she was right on the money ..she lies and is it hard to fat into ash? i might just have to look into it i hate politics..

May 8th
Reply

Kirk Fontaine

great show 👍

Mar 5th
Reply (1)

Chris Sherwood

25:00 is some really good stuff!

Jan 15th
Reply

Manda Lyons

Do

Dec 17th
Reply

Charlie DaBear

oh my, I believe in theory and personal experience that full disclosure of any kind of past and ongoing issue cuz if it is a mental disorder it you know it's always an ongoing issue, is almost certainly necessary for a happy and healthy relationship. additionally, taking into account the prolonged euphoric state of our minds and the different mental state of someone at the beginning of the relationship and all of the good feelings that brings our lives, much of our instability and disorders are masked and hidden because of this new exciting, awesome thing that's in our lives but just like everything else is just temporary and eventually goes back to status quo. we got to be able to know our bodies well and become familiar with the moods we get into to identify and communicate when something does not feel right within us. doing this enables us to communicate that fact that this has nothing to do with anything around us or our partner at all but an internal tissue of something that happened to us in the past left unresolved and inevitably manifesting in ways that we don't understand or whatever you believe in that circumstance. do you think that might be essential for your partner to have the opportunity to handle the situation in a healthy way? also, I believe the one with the mental disorder has to be genuinely sympathetic and remorseful that this is happening and that we are not blaming them or ourselves but it's something we are dealing with and yeah we do feel bad about it and we communicate that, make plans for the future when it will happen again. start coming back after the fact in relating and explaining to your partner that they have nothing to do with this has shown to have monumental impacts on the partner's Outlook of the situation. this can then allows them to be sympathetic towards you since they are not feeling threatened by you and these situations and the sympathy is the base and foundation of the support that they're able and willing to give you. and be clear that they do not have to support it and they do not have to put up with it, they can set a boundary, a hard boundary on these instances and they should protect their boundaries and you can help them do that too by owning up to your actions saying I crossed your boundaries help them identify their boundaries. our disorder is never an excuse or means to justify any behavior and someone that is feeling genuinely remorseful and sympathetic to their partner's feeling will say sorry if they did something and that it is not ok to do that, period. it is my personal and snobby smelly opinion that if you are serious at all about having a healthy and growing relationship with somebody then you will be in dialogue about this type of ongoing issue and it will come up often and you'll talk about it often because that's what it is, that's our life.

Nov 2nd
Reply (1)

V was here

Love Dan, his podcast, his politics and his tush. Keep it up!

Oct 30th
Reply

Min Ta

I'm

Oct 24th
Reply

Sara

Eh..don't get into politics on a "Love cast" show please..

Apr 18th
Reply (3)

Alicia Perrine

Look up Brian Friedman, a dancer/choreographer on YouTube and everywhere else, for an awesome, confident bald-ish guy who inspires others everyday!

Mar 26th
Reply

Katie Anderson

I thoroughly enjoy this podcast, Dan Savage and the guests on the show. I find Dan's unfiltered, blatant honesty and point of view to be brilliantly refreshing and at times, extremely eye opening. Thank you for providing this podcast for people around the world and for sharing your perspective with both myself and other interested listeners!

Oct 18th
Reply

iTunes User

Pros: - same sort of entertaining questions and advice you'd expect if you're a fan of the column - Savage has radio experience, and is not painful to listen to, unlike the majority of novice podcasters Cons: - it's sometimes very difficult to understand the callers, as the sound quality of the calls can be very bad I've been a fan of his column for 10 years, and after listening to the first two episodes, I'd say this is a very promising podcast. I'll keep listening.

Aug 31st
Reply

iTunes User

It's nice to see that Dan Savage is doing a podcast. Many years ago, he did a call-in radio program on KCMU (now KEXP) in Seattle called Savage Love Live. It was the funniest, experimental and informative hour of radio you could listen to late on a Sunday night. So, give him some time to find his feet in this format. At least you count on him to provide you with direct, honest, fair and insightful advice and information.

Aug 31st
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iTunes User

I've been reading Savage Love (the advice column) since...let's see, 1996. Ten years, wow. Anyway, in that time I've come to greatly admire Dan Savage's sexual advice. I've disagreed maybe a handful of times, but overall it has been frank, funny, and accurate, and served many people well. His language may be a bit shocking at first, but don't let that put you off-- it's just a way of approaching people's-- sometimes poignant, often bizarre-- dilemmas head-on with absolute honesty. The first podcast is a bit rocky (and in my opinion, too short), but I'm sure it will improve. You can call and leave questions for Dan to answer at 206-201-2720, and it's entirely anonymous if you want it to be.

Aug 31st
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