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Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships
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Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

Author: Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

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The Save Your Sanity podcast offers episodes filled with the expert insights, validation, strategies, and support you need to recognize, manage, and recover from relationships with the relentlessly difficult, toxic--and often disturbing--people host, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, calls Hijackals®. 


Invaluable help to stop the second-guessing, undermining, and crazy-making traits, patterns, and cycles you have encountered. Understand the ways, whys, and hows that verbal abuse, emotional abuse, and spiritual abuse affect you over time. Whether the Hijackal is a partner, parent, ex, or colleague, what you will learn here will strengthen and empower you to step up, speak up, and stand up for yourself in healthy, assertive ways. Many Hijackals have behaviors that are consider the same as those who are diagnoses as narcissists, borderlines, psychopaths, sociopaths, and histrionic personality disorder.


These insights will help you to make the changes--and good decisions--to move from pain to power, and that's exactly what you want to do! Listen now. 


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133 Episodes
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So much information online and in the media right now about the coronavirus!How do you know what to believe? How do you know what to do to stay safe and healthy in the face of coronavirus? My guest today, Dr. Dave Vigerust, is a long-time infectious disease and preventative medicine specialist. I'm talking with him because you may well be cooped up with someone who is toxic, pushing your buttons for the sheer joy of having power over you. Or, you may be cooped up with children who are bored and not wanting to listen? Or, other humans who don't seem to want to keep everyone safe. Dr. Vigerust has the accurate information, the scientific information about this coronavirus and other epidemics in recent memory. This one moves faster! That's why it's so important to listen to someone like Dr. Vigerust to get accurate information. Be informed about the coronavirus, and how the coronavirus spreads. That way, you can do your part to stop it. And, if you're cooped up with a toxic person, this episode will give you accurate information to share. Maybe, just maybe, the #Hijackal will listen because s/he wants to live, too! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:How much fear is appropriate about coronavirus?What are the real facts?What's the difference between an epidemic, an outbreak, and a pandemic?How fast is coronavirus spreading and what speeds it up?What precautions are imperative right now?How long does the virus stay on surfaces?What is your best practice for when you need to go to get groceries?How does this compare with other viruses like SARS and H1N1? How to stay safe and healthy. GUEST: Dr. David VigerustDave Vigerust, MS., Ph.D. received a bachelor’s degree in Biology and Chemistry from the University of Texas at El Paso, a master’s degree in Microbiology and Immunology from Texas Tech University and a Doctorate in Cellular and Molecular Pathology from Vanderbilt University School of Medicine. Dr. Vigerust conducted post-doctoral research at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. Dr. Vigerust completed a second post-doctoral fellowship at Vanderbilt University Medical School in the Department of Pediatrics Disease in the area of molecular biology. Currently, Dr. Vigerust is completing a second master’s degree in Molecular Diagnostics from Arizona State University. Dr. Vigerust was a faculty member in the Pathology, Immunology and Microbiology Department at Vanderbilt University School of Medicine and a Health Research Scientist in the U.S. Department of Veteran’s Affairs. Most recently, Dr. Vigerust is the Chief Scientific Officer and molecular scientist for a diagnostics laboratory focused around precision medicine, genomics and infectious disease. Dr. Vigerust has published extensively in top tier international journals, presented his research at national and international conferences and is an active editor and reviewer for several prominent journals. Dr. Vigerust has developed several novel molecular diagnostic assays for the prediction of inflammation and cardiovascular risk in patients with diabetes, infectious disease and cancer. Dr. Vigerust speaks often on the subject of precision medicine and was selected as a TEDx speaker in 2016. Dr. Vigerust currently maintains an Adjunct Assistant Professor position at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in the Department of Neurological Surgery and a Clinical Assistant Professor position with the University of Maryland, Eastern Shore School of Pharmacy. Dr. Vigerust’s academic and research interests focus around areas of precision medicine in the treatment of a broad range of disorders that are driven by inflammation including psychiatric and behavioral disorders, pain, neurooncology and cardiovascular disease.Dr. David Vigerust has no gifts for you at this time.Learn more at StrategicBiosciences.comFind on FacebookWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.Learn more: TransformingRelationship.comListen to my podcastsLike my Facebook pageFollow me on Twitter: Stay in touch on LinkedIn: Find my inspiring graphics on Instagram:So much on my Pinterest boardsSubscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp -------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.----------------------------------------------------------------------#coronavirus #infectiousdiseaseexpert #drdavidvigerust #stayingsafe #stayinghealthy #scientificfactsaboutcoronavirus #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest  For information regarding your data privacy, visit Acast.com/privacy
Housebound with a #Hijackal? Did the first moment you realized that you might be quarantined with a Hijackal parent or partner send shivers through you?This is NOT THE TIME to try to work things out or point things out. Difficult though it may be, when you are 24/7 with a #Hijackal, that the time to be the coolest you have ever been! Difficult, toxic people freak easily. What do they do when they freak? They demand more power and control. OK, tell them they MUST stay home, and they are going to do two main things: refuse to stay home because "No one is gonna tell me what to do!" or stay home and be miserable, self-centered, and annoying, at a minimum. You know that. Today, I'm giving you these ten truths clearly so that you will not expect the Hijackal in your life to be different. You won't expect them to change. You'll save yourself the time, effort, anxiety, and stress of hoping they will change. Home 24/7 with a Hijackal? You'll get all the exercise you need walking on eggshells. These ten truths will help you see how to avoid blowing the roof off...or, at least, do you best to keep things to a dull roar. Big hugs! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Fears about being housebound with a toxic personKnow what to do to maximize peaceKnow what to do to minimize rageWhy expectations need to be lowWhy to stay in "Observe" mode to save your sanity10 basic things that #Hijackals do that you cannot change no matter what you sayWhat to do while you wait it out. SO IMPORTANT! Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.Learn more: TransformingRelationship.comListen to my podcastsLike my Facebook pageFollow me on Twitter: Stay in touch on LinkedIn: Find my inspiring graphics on Instagram:So much on my Pinterest boardsSubscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp -------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.----------------------------------------------------------------------#housebound #homewithahijackal #homewithanarcissist #stuckathome #lockeddown #isolatedwithanarcissist #isolationwithahijackal#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest  For information regarding your data privacy, visit Acast.com/privacy
Left a relationship and wondering about re-entering the dating life?Getting your courage to date again?Afraid to step out, or choose wisely?Need encouragement and inspiration to be self-confident?Karen Solomon offers some great ideas for Complete Communication that come from the key distinctions between men and women and how some specific, deliberate communication modalities will work for you.You're starting over in life, leaving a relationship, job, or mindset.What do you need to think about when starting over in the dating world?Are you Sexy, Sassy & Starting Over? Or, want to be?Especially if you are leaving a toxic relationship--a relationship with a #Hijackal--or, you were raised by one, you may be feeling fear, trepidation, and excitement all at once.Can I do it?How will I do it?Is there a good way to prepare to date again?HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Karen's story of discovery and inspiration after divorceWhat Complete Communication is and why it's importantWhat the common denominator among sex, money, and relationships isHow to know when you're ready for transformationWho are you pleasing and why?Differences in communication style between men and womenGUEST: Karen SolomonKaren Solomon, author of Sexy, Sassy & Starting Over, teaches keys to confidence from the bedroom to the boardroom and inspires her clients to create their lives congruent with their deepest needs and desires. Her communication style is bold, edgy, and inspires both men and women to be their authentic, unadulterated selves. She integrates a foundation as a credentialed teacher with over two decades providing image makeovers and relationship coaching for men and women. Karen’s passion, insight and genuine desire to serve, combined with being direct, compassionate and relatable, leave audiences and listeners laughing and loving themselves.Karen’s long term marriage followed by an amicable divorce combined with decades of personal development with a focus on intimacy and communication have prepared her to assist other in navigating life transitions. A grateful breast cancer survivor, Karen advocates for women going through similar journeys.Her signature seminar Men, Sex & Money, along with her coaching practice combine to offer real solutions for creating an irresistible next chapter filled with clarity and pleasure. Her presentations result in practical tools to upgrade life and relationships.Karen Solomon has gifts for you. Find it HERE.Learn more at KarenSolomon.comFind on FacebookEnjoy on YouTubeFollow on TwitterFollow on Instagram Follow on LinkedInListen to Podcast Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.Learn more: TransformingRelationship.comListen to my podcastsLike my Facebook pageFollow me on Twitter: Stay in touch on LinkedIn: Find my inspiring graphics on Instagram:So much on my Pinterest boardsSubscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp -------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.----------------------------------------------------------------------#sexsassystartingover #karensolomon #datingafteremotionalabuse #datingafterbeinghurt #couragetodateagain#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest  For information regarding your data privacy, visit Acast.com/privacy
If you're with a relentlessly difficult, toxic person (a #Hijackal), or were raised by one, it's likely you'll be feeling somewhat trapped, suffocated, limited, or held back. Let's start today to change that. FOMO! Lots of talk about FOMO these days: the Fear Of Missing Out. What are you missing out on just now? If it's love, freedom, possibilities, and joy, it's time to rethink, right? Today, I'm talking about these kinds of FOMO, and what you can do to allay your fears and step into the life you'd like to create: Do you want your life to be one way, and it consistently show up another way/Does there never seem to be enough time to get it together?Do you know what you're afraid of missing out on?Do you know what holds you back from grabbing it, or why it never seems to be within reach? Sound at all familiar? The good news is that you can start with recognizing these things and then move on to creating the life you actually want, and I'm here to help. It's not wise to make huge decisions quickly. I advocate small, positive, doable changes. That's what I write about in my book, Kaizen For Couples. Even if you're not in a couple now, this book will help you see what's possible and necessary to do to have the best relationship possible with yourself and others. It's not just for couples! These strategies work everywhere...even at work. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Imagining a full, rich, free life of your choosing. It's possible! 3 unnecessary ways you might be missing outHow to step beyond limitations you may be feelingWhy Dr. Shaler suggests not believing a "you can have it all" claim...and, what she does believe about it4 things you can take charge of to create the life you wantGetting beyond #Hijackal relationships and reclaiming yourselfFree yourself to start taking small, doable steps towards the life you wantWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.Learn more: TransformingRelationship.comListen to my podcastsLike my Facebook pageFollow me on Twitter: Stay in touch on LinkedIn: Find my inspiring graphics on Instagram:So much on my Pinterest boardsSubscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp -------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.----------------------------------------------------------------------#liveyourbestlife #nolimitsliving #freeyourselffromlimitation #limitingbeliefs #emotionalhealing #embracepossibilities #lifeafteremotionalabuse #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest  For information regarding your data privacy, visit Acast.com/privacy
Hijackals, narcissists, and other toxic difficult people are mean. In tender moments, they make you feel safe to tell them your innermost secrets, insecurities, and vulnerabilities. Then, they turn those into weapons! They laugh at you, make jokes about your insecurities in front of others, and exploit your vulnerabilities to their advantage. Sound familiar? Hijackals want to have the upper hand at all times. Maybe, you share something that embarrassed you, or share something that scares you, or share something you are afraid of. It feels like a tender moment, and you SO want it to be the intimacy that you long for. You want that emotional closeness. It's what you've been waiting for. Imagine how they rub their hands with glee when you share something with them that puts you in a vulnerable light, or a bad light! They weaponize your insecurities and expose you, blame you, or shame you. They particularly like to do it in public when they hope you'll let it pass without speaking up. WHY? What's up with these people? HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Learn three kinds of empathy that can help with understanding the Hijackal behaviorHow Hijackals learn what to do to get what they want from youWhy Hijackals are scornful of your vulnerabilities--even though they encourage you to share themWhat the biggest misconceptions about Hijackals--including those narcissists--isWhy narcissists seem to hate you but won't let you go easily GUEST: Kim SaeedKim Saeed is an internationally respected self-help author and educator specializing in recovery and rebuilding after toxic relationships. She is the founder of Let Me Reach, a life transformation site that teaches people to flourish after narcissistic abuse. She is the author of the Kind bestseller, How To Go No Contact Like A Boss.In How To Go No Contact Like A Boss, Kim Saeed wrote,"During the detox from a toxic relationship, it's very common for those in recovery to ruminate obsessively over their ex and the events that led to the disintegration of the relationship. This results from addiction to the reward-and-punishment peptides that the victim's brain formed during the course of the relationship. Obsessive thinking is often the result of your subconscious mind's attempt to re-abuse you in the absence of your toxic partner. simply in order to get those peptides flowing again."Kim Saeed has a gift for you. The Beginner's Healing ToolkitFind it HERE. Learn more at LetMeReach.comFind on FacebookEnjoy on YouTubeFollow on TwitterListen to Podcast Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.Learn more: TransformingRelationship.comListen to my podcastsLike my Facebook pageFollow me on Twitter: Stay in touch on LinkedIn: Find my inspiring graphics on Instagram:So much on my Pinterest boardsSubscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp -------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.----------------------------------------------------------------------#laughatyourinsecurities #needpowerover you #narcissistslaughatyou #kimsaeed #letmereach #exploitvulnerabilities#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest  For information regarding your data privacy, visit Acast.com/privacy
Toxic people--emotional manipulators--have an absolute need to win. They NEED to have power over you in order to feel safe in their world. That's their problem. Don't make it yours. To get power over you, Hijackals are masters of emotional manipulation. And, they serve it up two ways: smooth or aggressive. Smooth approaches catch you off guard because you so want to believe them and enjoy the love and peace. Aggressive approaches make you fearful and unable to think clearly in the moment. Therefore, masters of manipulation! Hijackals are always homing their skills of emotional manipulation. If you've had a toxic parent--a #Hijackal parent, you may be so used to the games that you don't notice them at first. After today's episode, you will. Don't spend a second beating yourself up for not seeing it, just pick yourself up, face in a new direction (away), and make some new decisions. You don't deserve to be the prey of a #Hijackal predator. You need to see emotional manipulationHIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Examples to help you recognize emotional manipulationWhy #Hijackals need to winWhy you need to discard your rose-colored glassesDr. Shaler shares some examples of emotional manipulation from her earlier lifeWhy you need to believe your gut instinctsWhy not to override those gut instinctsSeeing the emotional manipulators need to dominateStrengthen your resolve to step away Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.Learn more: TransformingRelationship.comListen to my podcastsLike my Facebook pageFollow me on Twitter: Stay in touch on LinkedIn: Find my inspiring graphics on Instagram:So much on my Pinterest boardsSubscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp -------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.----------------------------------------------------------------------#emotionalmanipulation #emotionalmanipulators #emotionalabuse #needtodominate #saynotoabuse #believeyourinstincts #listentoyourgut#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest  For information regarding your data privacy, visit Acast.com/privacy
Key to recovery after emotional abuse is learning to care deeply about yourself again. Whether you call it self-esteem or self-love, it's essential to self-confidence. In today's episode, Dr. Audrey Hope and I have an in-depth conversation about finding that self-love to empower yourself to recover from abuse. That is the pathway to the power of self-validation! Sometimes, hearing the term "self-love" seems like white noise: you just don't really hear it anymore. You know it's a good idea but, you gloss over it with your mind. Stop today and rethink that with the ideas we're discussing. Ever had the thought that you're not enough? Maybe there was a person--or persons--in your life who dedicated his or herself to making you feel small, worthless, inadequate, and insufficient. Now, it's time to recover, claim your personal power, and you can. Those nasty #Hijackals--whether your parent or a partner--were wrong. #Hijackals feed from what they strip away from you: self-esteem, self-love, self-confidence, sense of self, and your sense of value. They were serving their own needs to have power over you. Take it back.In today's episode, you'll get great insights into just how to reclaim the power of self-validation!HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Dr. Hope's take on self-esteemIs self-esteem different from self-love?Where is the root of personal power?How to connect to your Authentic SelfWhy setting boundaries is important to "becoming sovereign" within yourselfWhat self-validation isHow to self-validateManifesting true loveWhy it's important to not settle for crumbs in a relationship, and how to get the full meal deal! GUEST: Dr. Audrey HopeAudrey Hope, D.D. is an award-winning certified addiction therapist and holds a Doctor of Divinity degree, who uses her abilities as a clairvoyant psychic medium to heal patients from trauma.A multi-talented force in the healing arts for over 20 years, Audrey Hope’s gentle-but-firm approach in addiction and relationships gets to the ‘root of the root’ to solve problems through spiritual modalities as she guides patients to freedom using a new frontier of healing to achieve inner peace.She has her own practice in the heart of Brentwood, CA, is the host of her weekly YouTube advice show “Hope For Relationships,” and is also an addiction therapist at Seasons In Malibu rehab facility.Throughout two decades in her field, Audrey has worked with an abundance of celebrities, producers, CEOs, doctors, lawyers, authors, athletes, heirs, and more – helping them cope with their relationship and/or addiction problems.Learn more at AudreyHope.comFind on FacebookEnjoy on YouTubeFollow on TwitterListen to Podcast - Dr. Hope does not have a podcast at this time.Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.Learn more: TransformingRelationship.comListen to my podcastsLike my Facebook pageFollow me on Twitter: Stay in touch on LinkedIn: Find my inspiring graphics on Instagram:So much on my Pinterest boardsSubscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp -------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.----------------------------------------------------------------------#selfvalidation #selflove #selfloveafterabuse #selfvalidationafterabuse #settingboundaries ##authenticself #draudreyhope #manifestingtruelove #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest  For information regarding your data privacy, visit Acast.com/privacy
Hate and Humiliation often go together. ? #Hijackals--relentlessly difficult, toxic people--hate and humiliate to get the upper hand in relationships...AND to make you feel bad about yourself especially in front of other people. It’s nasty! Listen in to understand the double standards of enjoying watching other people be humiliated on Reality TV or Celebrity Roasts, yet hating to be the object of humiliation ourselves. Then, make better decisions about what to do about your relationship with a #Hijackal!#Narcissists and other #Hijackals hate to see you happy. They resent it and too often take swings at you--in every way--to take you down and make you as unhappy as they are inside. Yes, they may appear confident and in control, but inside they are conflicted and concerned every minute.Hijackals work on the premise that making others feel small, miserable, angry, unhappy, and demeaned will assure and secure their power and control. Hence, they use hate and humiliation to accomplish that. Again, nasty!If you are in a relationship with a partner, parent, sibling, or co-worker that you now recognize is based on underlying hate and the need and desire to humiliate, it's time to take action and get help. That is not OK on any level.You deserve to be in a healthy, loving relationship based on honesty, safety, trust, respect, and reliability.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why we laugh when other people are humiliatedWhat "celebrity roasts" are really about and why you need to knowHow deprecating supposedly humor takes the heat off the speakerHow hate and humiliation too often go togetherClearly seeing why #Hijackals hate and humiliateKnow why you cannot tolerate hateful comments and broadsiding humiliation from a HijackalSchadenfreude: the tendency to take delight in the misery of othersThrowing shade: clever and humiliating Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.Learn more: TransformingRelationship.comListen to my podcastsLike my Facebook pageFollow me on Twitter: Stay in touch on LinkedIn: Find my inspiring graphics on Instagram:So much on my Pinterest boardsSubscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp -------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.----------------------------------------------------------------------#hate #humiliate #whyanarcissisthates #whyanarcissisthumiliates #humiliationisnothumor #humiliatingpeople #hijackalhate#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest  For information regarding your data privacy, visit Acast.com/privacy
Dating? Getting back in the dating scene? Does it scare you these days? All this talk--and experience--of breadcrumb dating, ghosting, insecurity, toxicity, safety in relationships? My guest, Tracy Crossley, specializes in helping you to be aware of unhealthy dating patterns and how to change them. Breadcrumb dating needs to be recognized immediately and shut down. Learn today to save yourself unnecessary pain while dating. Tracy Crossley cautions, "Sex is not emotional intimacy." Sometimes, you can hope that it is--or, at least, is the beginning of emotional intimacy. It's not! Often, the earlier you have sex in a relationship the more likely it is that you will experience breadcrumb dating. Save yourself that pain!If you've ever been in a toxic relationship, you are likely to be afraid of dating these days.Who can I trust? Can I trust myself to choose a healthy relationship?Breadcrumb dating is what you likely fear the most because it will mimic the emotional abuse you have already experienced. Do you know what "breadcrumb dating" actually is? An experience you don't want! Today we talk about recognizing these patterns and possibilities just in case you run into them. So then you can run away!HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What is "breadcrumb dating?"What does breadcrumb dating have to do with attachment styles?Hear Tracy Crossley's storyHow breadcrumb dating triggers fear of abandonmentWhy sex is not emotional intimacyHow you can stop doing things that make you feel badLearning to be honest and vulnerable without punishing yourselfWhat is an "insecure attachment" and how does it look in relationship? GUEST: Tracy CrossleyTracy is a Behavioral Relationship Expert and Podcast Host who works with individuals to help transform their dating habits by breaking unhealthy cycles of dating. With a background in psychology, an innate emotional intuition, and drawing from her own personal experience, Tracy helps her clients break the patterns that keep them trapped in the repetition of unhealthy singlehood and relationships.Learn more at TracyCrossley.comFind on FacebookEnjoy on YouTube Follow on TwitterListen to PodcastWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again. Learn more: TransformingRelationship.comListen to my podcastsLike my Facebook pageFollow me on Twitter: Stay in touch on LinkedIn: Find my inspiring graphics on Instagram:So much on my Pinterest boards Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp -------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.----------------------------------------------------------------------#breadcrumbdating #ghosting #tracycrossley #toxicdating #recognizingatoxicperson #datingonline #toxicity#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest  For information regarding your data privacy, visit Acast.com/privacy
Hooked on the rush of falling in love?Hooked on the feeling of not being able to get enough of another human? Wonder why you want to go running back to the nasty human you knew to leave? It's all about hormones at the most basic level. Your body has its own agenda. It wants you to not think too much so you'll have babies. Yes, I know that sounds a bit simplistic, but it's true. Your hormones go into overdrive. Your hormones override your recognition of danger--emotional danger, physical danger, sexual danger. When hormones get involved, even your risk-taking concerns are overridden! #Cortisol, #dopamine, #serotonin, and #oxytocin all play a significant part in how you get hooked on #Hijackals! Once you recognize this, and really think about it, you can begin to override your body's urges, and overrule the hormone's effects with logical thinking. No, I'm not suggesting you give up the joys of falling in love and get all too practical! I'm suggesting that it's best to recognize how your body wants to move towards procreating, and makes you somewhat brain dead to the red flags and toxic signs. You don't want that. You want to be more in charge. Yes, you would likely like to let yourself go down the rabbit hole of falling for the latest #Hijackal. You know that goes nowhere but into a land of hurt, right? Yes, you'd like to believe the #Hijackal when s/he comes back, love-bombing, saying all the right things to hook you on the hope they've changed. Engage brain at that moment. Recognize your hormones are triggered. Step back. Today's episode can save you from that world of hurt by reducing it to the few weeks of withdrawal required to unhook yourself. Listen in. best regards,RhobertaWant to talk with me? One-hour introductory session is only $97.-------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.----------------------------------------------------------------------HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:How hormones reduce your ability to think clearlyHormones make risk-taking more attractive and acceptableWhat hormones do to your ability to make decisionsWhy you get hooked on #HijackalsWhy you get hooked on hope that #Hijackals will changeWhy you want to go back to an abusive relationshipWhy you must take charge and understand your body to keep yourself safe in all waysWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#hookedonhormones #hormonesandabuse #hookedonhijackals #fallinginlove #hormonesandfallinginlove #oxytocin #cortisol #dopamine #serotonin #highlevelsofhormones #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest  For information regarding your data privacy, visit Acast.com/privacy
"I know I'm being lied to, but I want it to be true." I hear that so often from clients. I understand that they are so hooked on hope that the person they fell in love with would never lie to them that they believe the lies.Often, they are so exhausted from being in a relationship with a #Hijackal that they don't have the energy to deal with the lying. In today's episode, I'm offering you ten signs of a pathological liar so that you can step back and see if you really have on in your life. That's a good first step. Then, you can hear my thoughts on why they lie. It is very organic, and fundamental to their nature, to lie bold faced. Pathological liars seldom even think about lying. They need to win or be right in the moment, and they'll do whatever it takes in that minute to achieve it. Sound familiar? Then, when you catch them saying something different about the same thing they lied about yesterday, learn why it is never productive to point it out. And, learn what you can do differently when you know that you are dealing with a #pathologicalliar. best regards,RhobertaWant to talk with me? One-hour introductory session is only $97.-------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.----------------------------------------------------------------------HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: Difference between white lies and pathological lies10 reasons pathological liars will not tell the truthMost common lies of #Hijackals and other pathological liarsWhat not to do when being lied to by a #Hijackal or #pathologicalliarWhat to focus on when you are being lied toHow best to respond and how not to respond to a pathological liar Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#pathologicalliar #signsofapathologicalliar #beingliedto # #narcissistslie #howtostopthelying #Iknowheslying #iknowsheslying #confrontinglies #respondtoaliar #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest  For information regarding your data privacy, visit Acast.com/privacy
#Hijackals manipulate. Therefore, Hijackals lie. Whether that #Hijackal is narcissistic, borderline, or anti-social, it doesn't matter. They will lie. Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult, toxic people--want the outcomes they want. Therefore, they deceive you. Deceiving you means causing you to believe something that is not true usually to gain some personal advantage. Typical of Hijackals, right? They must win. Therefore, you must lose. To them, anything that helps them win is fair game. I know you want to believe the lies. The Hijackal is often telling you what you want to hear with little intention of giving you what you want to receive. They know the edges, and often overstep them. Don't be in denial. A narcissist does NOT have your best interests at heart. NO! Hijackals have their best interests at heart. They even put their own interests over what's best for their children. Nasty! So, it's time to step up and stop accepting the lies! No, don't tell them they are wrong. Don't tell them they are lying. You already know that just causes more fury. Recognize the ways you have let them lie to you and why. (I'll help with that, so listen.) Understand why #Hijackals lie. Face the truth. See it as it is.Examine your options.Take action. In a few weeks, I'll be doing another episode on ways to confront the lying and NOT blow things up. Subscribe and stay tuned. best regards,RhobertaWant to talk with me? One-hour introductory session is only $97.-------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.----------------------------------------------------------------------HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What deception really isUsual reasons for not confronting the lies narcissists tellWhat stops you from stepping up to the truthWhy #Hijackals® lieWhy you let themBig four steps to stop the lies Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#beingliedto #knowImbeingliedto #narcissistslie #howtostopthelying #Iknowheslying #iknowsheslying #confrontinglies #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest  For information regarding your data privacy, visit Acast.com/privacy
You've likely turned yourself into a pretzel to please a toxic person. That's what they want. You can stand on your head and spit wooden nickels for a decade, and you cannot please them beyond a hot minute when they really want something for you. Notice that! You were discarded. Not your idea. Not your choice. Not your timing. You're unhappy and focused on what you've lost. That's natural. BUT, you're out! Being discarded by a narcissist, or a person who narcissistic or sociopathic tendencies, never feels good. But, you can feel much better when you focus on the ten ways to resist the urge to return to a toxic relationship! Being discarded may have been your worst fear, but look! You're still alive, breathing and all. And, doing all that good stuff in spite of the fact that the #Hijackal, the #narcissist, the #sociopath discarded you. Great start! Feel the pain, but don't wallow in it. There's a difference. Acknowledge the pain. Give it a name. Recognize the source. Then, turn around, face forward, and realize that, no matter how you got there, you're out of the emotional abuse! Yay! The pull to return to a toxic person can be great, overwhelming even. It's what you know. It may be what your early life trained you to believe you deserve. Not true! You deserve SO much more than emotional abuse! Listen to these ten ways to resist going back to a toxic person, a #Hijackal! Listen again...and, again...and....as many times as necessary to not go back. You now have the opportunity to be free of ridicule, blame, put-downs, insignificance, and begging for crumbs of affection. Woo-hoo! best regards,RhobertaWant to talk with me? One-hour introductory session is only $97.-------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.----------------------------------------------------------------------HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why discard hurts so muchWhat you can take charge ofWhat you actually deserve much more than you have receivedHow being discarded can be the best thing ever10 ways to resist returning to a narcissist by focusing on moving forwardWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#discardedbyahijackal #resisttheurgetoreturn #discarded #discardedinrelationship #resistreturning ##healthyrelationshipwithyourself#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest  For information regarding your data privacy, visit Acast.com/privacy
You made it! You have ended the relationship with the toxic, difficult person, the #Hijackal! Good for you! You know what is best for you, and your family.It takes too long to be truly free from a #Hijackal. (I know because I help people do that all around the world via video conferencing.) And, you've done it.Or, you've at least moved away from the person physically. Your emotions may take awhile to catch up. That's normal.So, when you find yourself second-guessing the breakup--because that happens too frequently--I'm giving you six habits to focus on to have the happier, healthier life you want. Pick up your mind when in travels back to #Hijackal Land, and bring it to these six habits. It will help, I promise.When you've been with a toxic person, toxicity rubs of on you a little. You might be edgy, maybe even a little hyper-vigilant still. Quick to feel angry, or quick to feel defeated. That's normal. What to do? Focus on these six things. (You're getting it, right? These six things are important! )New habits take practice. You know there is a big difference between talking about something and actually doing it! In that same way, there is a big difference between having information and actually turning it into knowledge. Knowledge is information that you have taken into your body, mind, heart, and soul and it shows up as changed behavior! Six changes in behavior for you to focus on feel more confident, secure, and healthy. They are simple, AND they work. Enjoy!best regards,Rhoberta Want to talk with me? One-hour introductory session is only $97. -------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.----------------------------------------------------------------------HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Refocusing yourself after the toxic person is goneKnowing the difference between information and knowledgeStaying conscious of what you're moving towardsSix steps on the journey to being who you most want to beHaving the life you want, and the relationships you value Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#leavingahijackal #leavinganarcissist #divorcinganarcissist #afterthedivorce #healthyrelationshiphabits #healthyrelationshipwithyourself#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest  For information regarding your data privacy, visit Acast.com/privacy
DRAMA: Who needs it??

DRAMA: Who needs it??

2020-01-0409:36

Drama! It keeps you walking on eggshells, wondering when the next supposedly offence on your part will be jumped on. Or, an event will be blown out of proportion. That event may or not have actually happened, right? Accepting responsibility for allowing drama to continue in your life is the first step to putting an END to it. I know, the other person does create it. You may be allowing it, even enabling drama in your relationship.The patterns and persistence of drama and manipulation in a relationship are not hard to spot. What can be hard is deciding where your boundary is, expressing it, and holding it strong. You may have to add non-negotiable consequences if that boundary is crossed or disrespected.Listen in and learn about expressing your boundaries in effective ways.Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 \CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYouTube: ForRelationshipHelp#boundaries #expressingboundaries #holding boundaries #toomuchdrama #explosivepartner#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest  For information regarding your data privacy, visit Acast.com/privacy
Keeping you in chaos, confusion, and uncertainty is a hallmark of a #Hijackal®. They do it to keep you on guard and off balance. That's a very shaky combination that destroys any possibility of stability in a relationship! Recognizing when a Hijackal is trying to control you (which is always) is an important skill to have for taking back your personal power and sense of self. It's particularly important when that uncertainty has come to feel "normal." There is nothing normal about it, but it is the way #Hijackals roll. You might need to "roll" away!You may find it difficult to clear your head and examine how you really feel at this point.You've likely been told you're wrong so many times that you've come to believe it. You may have been told everything is your fault so many times you've come to think it's true. If either of those things are true for you right now, this is the perfect time to listen in and gather some insights and strengths.Clarity is required. Being with a #Hijackal--maybe a #narcissist--leaves your head spinning.Because you are a good person, you've likely given the Hijackal the benefit of the doubt too many times. You've excused his/her behavior repeatedly. You've justified their crazy-making more times than is healthy. Actually, once is enough!It's time to stop. Today's episode is a good place to start.Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYouTube: ForRelationshipHelp#chaosinrelationship #controlinrelationship #uncertaintyinrelationship #keepingcontrol#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest  For information regarding your data privacy, visit Acast.com/privacy
Holidays or any celebration can be stressful. It may be exciting--which is stressful in itself--and it may be distressful.Give yourself permission to recognize and act on the three empowering tips for surviving the holidays with other humans.In fact, these three tips will always help you feel empowered.Are the holidays duty, dread, or delight for you?Can you look forward to any celebration, without concern that it will be ruined by others?If you have a #Hijackal parent or a #Hijackal partner or ex, you know there is downside potential. You likely cannot control anyone in your life, nor would you want to. (Kids excluded, of course...lol)You also don't want to be controlled.You're an adult and you have choices, right? You also don't want your happiness in other peoples' hands. It isn't, but often, folks think that it is. Happiness is an inside job. Place yourself in places, and situations where you can be happy. Remove yourself from situations where you historically cannot find happiness.I know that sound simple, and is anything but easy. That's why I've given you these three insights today, and I hope you will take them to heart.#Hijackals want to be the center of attention--whether they are present or not! They simply feed on having the power to control people and situations. They can refuse to come to something, or come and demand center stage. Still, they will be the topic of conversation. Just what they want.Use these three empowering insights to stay centered and calm, and away from potentially volatile situations. You're an adult, right? You can choose. I hope you'll choose in favor of peace, happiness, and joy!--------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.----------------------------------------------------------------------HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:3 Empowering Tips to help you be more centered and calm in the holidaysHow to take care of yourself around toxic peopleKnow that you can choose JOMO over FOMOControl what is within your control--you--and leave the restWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#narcissisticparent #Hijackalparent #toxicparents #toxicparenting #toxicpartner #toxicparent#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest  For information regarding your data privacy, visit Acast.com/privacy
What a pleasure and honor to have this deep conversation with Patricia Evans, author of The Verbally Abusive Relationship. !Patricia Evans stepped up, spoke up, and spoke out about verbal abuse. Her first book--with four following--is a tribute to her indomitable spirit and unwillingness to stay silent about this gateway behavior.Before a partner hits you, you will have been verbally abused: demeaned, discounted, dismissed, blamed, manipulated, and deceived. Domestic violence starts with verbal abuse.Toxic relationships are verbally abusive. In today's episode, we talk about the aspects of verbal abuse, and Patricia offers insights and strategies to recognize it, and find the strength to move away from it.If you have ever been verbally abused, or think you might be right now, you need to listen now.ABOUT PATRICIA EVANS:An internationally recognized Interpersonal Communications Specialist, Patricia Evans draws upon research of more than thirty thousand cases of verbally abusive relationships. She speaks and conducts workshops throughout the country.Founder of the Evans Interpersonal Communications Institute, now, EICI, Inc., Patricia offers workshops and training programs. She has single-handedly brought the subject of verbal abuse to the forefront of American consciousness, starting with her landmark book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond(1992). Newsweek commended her for it, saying that the expanded edition in 1996 was “A groundbreaking new book.”Patricia Evans has spoken on the devastating effect of this secret form of control on more than two hundred radio programs, and seventeen national television shows, including the Oprah Winfrey Show, Sonya Live—CNN and News Talk.Find Patricia Evan's work at VerbalAbuse.com--------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.----------------------------------------------------------------------Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#verballyabused #verbalabuse #verballyabusive #patriciaevans#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #verbalabuse #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest  For information regarding your data privacy, visit Acast.com/privacy
When you have a #Hijackal® parent, you tend to model their traits, or be set up to be the unwitting "prey" for other predators like them. Having a #Hijackal parent can turn you into "Hijackal Bait." Hijackals are attracted to you, and you are attracted tot hem.Why? Because they seem so familiar. You feel somehow comfortably uncomfortable with them...at least for the first while.Having a Hijackal parent often means that you become the Golden Child in the family, the one who can do no wrong. Or, the Scapegoat, the one who can do nothing right.It's important to realize the potential pitfalls for life and relationship that having a Hijackal parent set you up to take. It certainly wasn't your fault, and you did not create. It's important, though, to recognize what actually happened to you.Today's episode gives you some insights into this.Read the highlights below, and listen in. Subscribe so you'll receive every episode to help you stay clear about what is really going on.--------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.----------------------------------------------------------------------HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Insights into motives of toxic parentsWhat you may not realize about your upbringingWhy #Hijackals must make you wrongWhy you might take on too much blame in lifeWant to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#narcissisticparent #Hijackalparent #toxicparents #toxicparenting#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest  For information regarding your data privacy, visit Acast.com/privacy
Difficult, defensive, and destructive behaviors can turn into dangerous ones! These six steps to keep you safer around toxic people, around #Hijackals, are absolutely vital to recognize and take. Keep yourself safer! In today's episode, I'm defining "dangerous" as dangerous to your well-being in all ways, and to your children's well-being and best interests. I give you six vital questions to ask yourself--honestly ask yourself--and honestly answer.When you're with a toxic person, you are likely to make excuses for their behavior, rationalize or justify their behavior. Time to stop doing that. And, time to look at your relationship with honest eyes. You need to see what's really happening, not what you wish was happening, right? Toxic relationships depend on you putting up with verbal and emotional abuse. If you were not willing to, you would not be in the relationship. I know that sounds very harsh and matter-of-fact. You would only put up with these behaviors if you had been taught to, and I want to open you up to see that it is NOT NECESSARY to put up with being treated like anything less than the valuable human you are.None of us are perfect, and we ARE valuable. You deserve to be treated with honesty, respect, trust, and reliability. You deserve to be safe. Sometimes, you might not realize that you have rights and you can expect to be treated with respect and dignity. In a loving relationship, you can also expect to be with an emotionally mature person who wants to create emotional intimacy. That's not unreasonable, although, in my opinion, not enough people go for it!You are the one who can take steps to keep you and your children safe. Information and education are the beginning, and I'm so glad you're listening to this podcast. Enjoy all the other episodes, too, and shore up your knowledge, AND your self-confidence, too!Read the highlights below, and listen in. Subscribe so you'll receive every episode to help you stay clear about what is really going on.--------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.----------------------------------------------------------------------HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:6 invaluable questions to ask yourself, and answer honestly6 steps to keep yourself safer when you're around a toxic person, a #HijackalWhy #Hijackals are not driven by logicSigns of potential trouble when you're with a controlling personWhy it is essential to whip off the rose-colored glasses and see that a difficult person can actually be a dangerous person You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab myFREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!If you need help with any part of the journey with--and from--a #Hijackal, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.Make positive changes NOW.Big hugs,RhobertaRhoberta Shaler, PhD,The Relationship Help DoctorTransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.comP.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?You can have that, and:access to my Optimize Circlesmy 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy programmonthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes twoat least monthly insightful videos and access to the libraryYou can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!OptimizeCircles.comCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelpYou can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.#staysafe #personalsafety #emotionalsafety #keepyourselfsafe #stepstostopabuse #notoabuse #hijackalfree#saveyoursanity #coercivecontrol #narcissisticabuse #toxicnarcissist #leavinganarcissist #hijackals #saveyoursanity #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #sociopath #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #toxicpeople For information regarding your data privacy, visit Acast.com/privacy
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Comments (6)

Kathy Hammond

I've read several things written by Dr. Shaler but this is the first time I've heard her podcast. I appreciate her civil approach to managing a challenging situation. One thing that stood out in this podcast was the the Hijackal's disruptions of holidays, etc., because their intent is to the be the center of attention. I hadn't considered it from that angle.

Dec 12th
Reply (1)

Gloria Summerlin

I tried very hard to listen to this podcast but contiued getting "unknown error" instead.

Oct 20th
Reply (1)

Julia Jepson

can someone be both overert and convert narcissist at different times ?

Jul 24th
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