Claim OwnershipSay The Things
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Are you giving all of your energy to those around you, leaving you feeling empty, disconnected, and resentful, craving connection beyond the four walls of your home?
Do you hide behind surface level conversations because you fear being rejected. If you were to share your actual thoughts?
Do you crave more joy and laughter in your life and wish to feel normal and your uniqueness, and perhaps even accept and embrace it?
Intentionally discover who you are to clearly communicate to deepen relationship, connectivity while honoring your uniqueness.
Do you hide behind surface level conversations because you fear being rejected. If you were to share your actual thoughts?
Do you crave more joy and laughter in your life and wish to feel normal and your uniqueness, and perhaps even accept and embrace it?
Intentionally discover who you are to clearly communicate to deepen relationship, connectivity while honoring your uniqueness.
187 Episodes
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A few weeks ago, I did an exercise that completely changed how I see control—and honestly, it pissed me off before it set me free. I drew a circle and listed what I actually control inside it and what I don't outside it, and the truth was brutal: I've been spending most of my energy trying to manage things that were never mine to hold. Today I'm walking you through this exercise and the new soundtracks that are helping me release my grip on other people, outcomes, the past, and the future—so I can finally be present in the one moment I actually have. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
Research shows that trees don't compete for sunlight – they share resources through an underground network, warning each other of dangers and supporting the whole forest's health. I'm exploring how we can shift from competition to collaboration in our relationships, especially when social media makes comparison so tempting. Your community network is probably more abundant than you realize, and it's time to tend to it with the same energy you give everything else in your life. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
In a world where we're constantly fed opinions disguised as facts, I'm sharing the three simple questions that transformed how I process information. We'll explore why being "nice" sometimes means having uncomfortable conversations about truth, and how to navigate conflicting information without losing your sanity. I challenge you to apply these questions to something you encounter this week – because the truth doesn't change according to our ability to stomach it. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
I took an extended summer break and found myself not in the right headspace to return, which got me thinking about the energy we bring into the world. With all the negativity and chaos happening around us—from political unrest to violence—I want to ask: what energy are you contributing? I believe we are literally energetic beings operating at measurable frequencies, and there's science behind how our physical and emotional states affect not just us, but everyone around us. This week, I'm challenging you to pick one thing—whether it's starting a gratitude practice, getting moving outside, or simply noticing your body language—and try it for five days to raise your vibration. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
I'm exploring the connection between self-advocacy and self-silencing as I head into a break because I'm experiencing burnout myself, which feels perfectly timed for this topic. I challenge you to think about how we constantly tell our kids to advocate for themselves while we struggle to do the same, often because we've been conditioned to believe that self-advocacy is selfish when we're supposed to be sensitive to others' needs. I want you to examine where you've been self-silencing - avoiding conflict, neglecting your intuition, or not sharing your desires - and ask yourself what you'd tell a friend in your same situation, because awareness is the catalyst for change and nothing will shift if we keep putting everyone else's needs before our own.
I explore why women negotiate as often as men but succeed only half as often, and how we've been taught to negotiate like men when we should be leveraging our natural relationship-building strengths instead. I share a four-step framework specifically designed for women: reviewing past performance, understanding future vision, making the ask, and ending with collaborative questions that invite others into the solution. I challenge you to recognize that you're already negotiating every day - from managing household responsibilities to resolving conflicts - and it's time to stop settling and start asking for what you truly want using this collaborative approach. Ted: Katherine Valentine
In today's episode, I explored how women can move beyond stereotypical emotional expression by developing emotional intelligence and expanding our emotional vocabulary beyond the mere 20 words most Americans use out of 3,000 available emotion-describing words. I discussed how emotions naturally last only six seconds unless we suppress them, and shared practical strategies like practicing the pause, self-regulation, and becoming more intentional in our responses rather than reactions. My goal is to help you understand that your emotions hold value and provide insight, and by learning to express them more effectively, we can strengthen our relationships, improve our intuition, and even boost our immune systems.
I'm breaking down the ridiculous stereotypes we've been handed about women in conflict – from the "hysterical female" to the "peacekeeper at all costs" – and why these scripts are keeping us small. The research is clear: healthy relationships actually have conflict 20% of the time, and 80% of disagreements aren't meant to be "solved" but understood, which means we need to stop treating conflict like something shameful to hide. I'm sharing specific roles we can step into during conflict that leverage our natural strengths – from Provider to Truth-Teller – so we can move from avoiding conflict to engaging with it skillfully and transforming our relationships in the process.
In this episode, I'm getting vulnerable about my struggle with boundaries, especially with my kids. I share the belief I’ve been operating under which has led me straight into burnout and resentment territory. I walk through my three-step process for setting clear limits and remind you that when people who've benefited from your lack of boundaries suddenly get challenged by your new ones, that's not yours to fix. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
In this episode, I challenge everything you think you know about assertive communication - it's not about being aggressive or demanding, but about being authentically you through honest, direct, respectful, and appropriate communication. I explore how women especially have been conditioned to prioritize being "kind and soft" over speaking truthfully, and why the people who benefit from us staying quiet wrote those limiting rules in the first place. We'll dive into practical ways to practice healthy communication. Remember, your voice matters, your needs matter, and healthy relationships require all four elements: honesty, directness, respect, and appropriateness - so begin where you are and start saying what you mean. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
Welcome to my new summer series where I'm examining the complex reality of communication as a woman and how we can move beyond limiting social expectations. Despite being raised by women who fought for equality and told we could become anything, we weren't prepared for the challenges we actually face - like being perceived as dominating when we speak just 30% of the time or being interrupted twice as often as men. This series will cover essential skills like assertiveness, boundary setting, and authentic expression because I believe our best communication comes not from following rules to keep everyone comfortable, but from showing up with confidence and our authentic voice. Join me as we become more aware, confident, and at ease with communicating in all areas of our lives.
In this episode, I dive into the exhausting reality of co-parenting with a covert narcissist, sharing real examples from my own experience that will sound painfully familiar to anyone in this situation. I break down four key traits that make co-parenting feel impossible: blame shifting, ruining special occasions, chronic unreliability, and weaponizing children's emotions. Through personal stories—from dangerous unsupervised water activities to last-minute schedule changes—I explore how these patterns affect our kids and why speaking up often makes us look like the problem. If you're questioning your sanity while trying to protect your children from a co-parent who appears decent on the surface but leaves chaos in their wake, this episode is for you. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
In this vulnerable episode, I share my recent Mother's Day shame spiral and how cultural expectations left me feeling "wrong" for not experiencing the picture-perfect joy we're told mothers should feel. I explore the crucial difference between shame ("What's wrong with me?") and guilt ("What did I do?"), offering practical questions to help identify your own shame triggers and the language they speak. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/ www.brenebrown.com
An unexpected wake-up call provided by a high schooler provided me curiosity around what we aren't saying. In this episode, I explore what keeps us silent when we should be speaking up - from our misguided telepathy expectations to the emotional labor calculations we make without even realizing it. Join me for a candid look at the phrases beyond "I love you" that might actually transform your relationships, and the five questions to ask yourself when you feel that familiar urge to stay quiet. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/ https://www.instagram.com/p/C-VtJyMMtS3/ https://www.instagram.com/p/C-Dh9I_u17z/?img_index=1
If you're the one who remembers every birthday, every school form, and every detail of everyone’s life—you might be over-functioning. In this episode, I’m getting real about the hidden emotional and mental load so many women carry, especially in midlife. I share how this pattern forms, why we cling to it, and the high cost it has on our health, relationships, and joy. If you're ready to stop drowning in invisible responsibilities and start reclaiming your energy, this episode is for you.
I’m asking a simple question today: when was the last time you felt plain, old “whelmed”—not over, not under, just steady? Growing up as latch‑key kids taught many of us that love was earned through being good, easy, and hyper‑capable, so we learned to outrun every need in the room. Now the hustle is our baseline, but it’s costing our sanity and stunting our kids’ growth. In this episode I trace how that survival strategy became a lifestyle and share the boundary‑setting, self‑check‑ins, and unapologetic rest I’m practicing to reset the dial to “enough.” https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
Have you noticed how quickly we snap these days — in traffic, in line, or over something as small as an umbrella at a track meet? In this episode, I unpack why so many of us feel constantly on edge, and how stress, overstimulation, and emotional burnout might be driving more of our reactions than we realize. I’ll share a recent confrontation that left my hands shaking — and the questions it raised about how we treat each other, and ourselves. If you’re craving a little more calm in your everyday life, this one’s for you. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
This episode is inspired by an encounter at a grocery store where I almost missed a meaninful connection because of my unconscious "habit of hurry," despite having no real time pressure. This experience led me to get curious about how many of us live in a constant state of rush, creating false urgency that affects us physically and emotionally while preventing us from fully experiencing moments that matter. I offer practical strategies to break this habit, including mindful pauses, questioning our rush instinct, and remembering that our inherent worth isn't tied to productivity or efficiency. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
We are being emotionally manipulated by media and algorithms designed to keep us engaged through fear, outrage, and anxiety. I've discovered that my actual day-to-day life barely changes regardless of national politics. The 'news' we consume today isn't really news—it's opinions delivered by personalities who feel like friends but don't even know our names. In this episode, I share practical strategies to break free from this cycle of information addiction. Your real life is happening right here, not on screens or in national narratives. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
In this episode, I dive deep into the concept of letting go of past dreams that no longer serve us. We explore those persistent inner soundtracks - the "shoulds" and negative self-talk that keep us trapped in an unlived life. I challenge you to pause, reflect, and say goodbye to the dreams and thoughts that are holding you back, making space for the joy and potential of who you are right now.
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